Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura doesn't belong to me and probably never will. Enough said. Lucky people at companies like CLAMP, Kondansha, Nelvana, and whatnot do. It's not fair, but hey. That's life, right?
One more thing: For some reason, Kero never fits in my fic ideas... so he's left out. Sorry. ~ Kuri
On Wings of Black
~ Tears of Red ~
He didn't come.
Sakura laid helplessly in her bed. The pillow beneath her head was moist with tears.
He said he would, but he didn't.
Her auburn locks were limp and disheveled. Her arms were wrapped around her most treasured possession: a small, worn-looking bear which she pressed to her chest. She muffled her sobs in its soft, brown fur. The bear's eyes were blank. Being plastic, they stared unknowingly into Sakura's heart. If they could see, they would have seen shards of glass stained red with tears: the only remnants of her now broken heart.
He lied to me.
The steady stream of translucent tears flowing down her cheeks stung her eyes, but she couldn't stop their flowing. Besides, she didn't care. The miniscule pain brought on by their sting was nothing compared to the pain caused by the tears of red bled by her heart. The shattered glass, her shattered trust, her shattered hope, they cut into her with more hurt than physical pain. Pain. Pain was all she could feel. Pain was the only thing that flared vividly in her mind. What was love? What was happiness?
Lies. He lied to me.
The former Clow Mistress tried to push away the horrible conviction that faced her now, but for all her power she could do nothing. It simply remained there. Untouched. Unmoving. True. It was true. Of all the lies and stories she had heard and believed in, this was the only truth: he had lied to her.
No! It's not true! It can't be!
Feebly, she tried to convince herself she was mistaken. Desperately, she tried to forget the memory and the thought that haunted her, forever smoldering in her mind. A clear, bitter memory whose acidic stench continued to plague her even when she succeeded in forgetting if for a brief moment.
It can't be true. It can't...
*Creak...*
"Sakura-chan..."
Sakura shrank into the disarranged bed sheets. She knew who it was. It was the last person she wanted to see.
"Go away," she managed to choke.
Disregarding his sister's weak warning, Touya walked toward her and perched by the side of the bed.
"You were waiting for him, weren't you?"
Sakura gasped.
"He didn't come, and he's not coming back. Get over him. He's just a brat, anyways."
"He isn't!" Sakura cried, sitting up. "He isn't! He can't..." her voice trailed off uncertainly. She pulled he knees towards her chest and hugged them tightly. He arms still clenched her toy bear.
"Who else, besides a brat, would leave, promise to come back, and then not?" Touya stung each word viciously. His eyes glowered with rage towards an amber-eyed youth with unruly, brown hair. A boy who had captured the heart of his precious little sister and then left with his stolen treasure promising to return. Behind him, he left Sakura clinging with complete trust to the thin strand of hope that he had tossed her: a lie. He lied to her. He left her. He shattered her. He severed her strand of hope, and robbed her not only of her heart, but also of her trust, her dreams, her life... everything. He stole her entirety.
Sakura searched despairingly for an answer. She knew what he wanted to hear, but she wouldn't say it. She couldn't. "He will come back," she said in a timid voice. "He has to. He promised..."
"He lied."
Sakura's reply was dogged. "He didn't. You are."
"Sakura-chan, he did. I'm sorry..."
"No you aren't," she pouted.
"Yes, I am. I didn't protect you..."
Sakura avoided Touya's glance. She studied the fur of her bear, the crumpled sheets, anything. She couldn't bring herself to look up at her older brother. She was racked with guilt... why? What had she done? Nothing... but then, why did the subject no longer seem to be about the boy who had left her, but more like how she had drifted away from the only one who had always kept her from harm? Had she drifted away? How? Why did it seem like her protector seemed to be more hurt that she? What was his reason? She was torn between puzzlement and resentment.
"I didn't protect you from getting hurt."
Sakura sat in stunned silence. His voice... it was heartache swirled with guilt, sadness, failure... but why? It wasn't if fault! He hadn't failed in anything! It was her that failed him! She drifted away, she refused to come back... she hurt the one that loved her the most.
"Oniichan... "
"Kaijuu... come back to me. I miss you..." Touya looked away awkwardly as he blinked back tears that he was determined to keep from falling. He continued in a strange, strangled voice that sounded like he was far away instead of sitting beside her. "Why is it that in all my memories, even before he arrived, you used to laugh... but that laughter won't return now that he's gone?"
The tears that had stopped running unnoticed, renewed as Sakura struggled for words. But even as she did, Touya stood up abruptly. He seemed ashamed of what he had said. How could he have voiced such questions? Why had he let his tongue slip and betray him like that? Turning, he rushed out the door and closed it behind him.
Sakura whispered a cry as she stared at the barren wood. "Oniichan... Come back..."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Authoress' Notes:
What do you think? I've always wondered what would happen if CCS didn't end with an S+S ending, so... here we go. I know I got a little off track at the end, but it just sorta played out. I needed a little longer, so I brought in Touya for a conversation... then.... it kinda took a new direction. Oh well.
I'm hoping to make this a 3 part fic, so the next chapter would be her memory of what happened (when Syaoran doesn't come... *gasp* Oh no!), then.... some sort of conclusion. I haven't gotten that far yet... anyways, I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible.
Well, thanks for reading, and if you want to make my day, a really nice thing to do would be review! Nice things, bad things... anything... doesn't matter. I'll except them all. Oh yeah, if you have any questions or comments or anything of that sort, email them to me at dancing_raine@hotmail.com
Well, until next time! ~ Kuri
