At some point, I stopped trying to make sense of what had happened that night. I had doubts about Lahabrea's words in the inn; there were points when he seemed like a madman or someone deliberately playing tricks on me. I remained interested. It would be unfair to simply blame him; of course, I could've chosen to walk away and not even consider it.

Before meeting him in the night, anyway, his dark powers and mastery of magic were enough for me to believe all his other words…The tales of paradise that he hailed from, tales of peace and a place without strife, tell that to any Valgardian, and they would laugh to your face. But many would have the same reaction if they were to hear of a man who controlled dark magic to such an extent and could create chains out of thin air; the response wouldn't be any different. But I saw what I saw; I heard what I heard.

Lahabrea spoke of reincarnation, of past life, memories of which have been lost on me. He spoke about loss and tragedy and of the ascian quest for the restoration of the world, the one they would give anything for. And he wanted me by his side. Even if I knew nothing of his quest, one thing was certain-the life I led would be forsaken if I were to agree. There was no way back for me after "opening my eyes ." I remember there being doubts; a part of me wanted to write this encounter off as an ephemeral dream; I would not put it past me, considering the state I was in.

And every time I doubted, I had to only look at my green crystal to remember. It was real, something I could witness and touch, something I brought to my home and kept over the next coming days. I wish I could say that I kept it at home, but I had it with me. Always. Partially because I couldn't allow anyone to take this crystal, but I also felt…Joy when I looked at it.

My days became harder and emptier with every coming one, Jerome still didn't want to talk to me, and I grew powerless before him. There was nothing left for me but to return to the inn and work, work almost twice as much to make up for the coin that Arthur brought to the household. I did not enjoy it anymore, seeing new faces, talking to people, playfully smiling, and asking for an order. But the crystal kept me going. When I felt angry, upset, and didn't want to talk to anyone anymore, I took the crystal and looked at it, kept it close to my heart. I wasn't ready to heed, I didn't want to, but the calming aura it exuded was soothing for me. It was like a song, quiet and melodic, the song that made me want to close my eyes and think. Think about exotic birds singing, blooming colors of all the rainbow colors, of an azure cloudless sky rising up above our city in a picture of beauty. It was inexplicable, yet it was majestic. Each time I put the crystal away, I forced myself back into this joyless world where I suffered and had almost nothing to look forward to. Hour after hour, loss after loss, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep going without the crystal.

I wondered if customers began to notice. They knew me as a woman who always tried to remain warm and welcoming to everyone in my surroundings, but the last days changed me cardinally. I imagine most attributed it to my loss, and they were right in part. But if it wasn't for Lahabrea and the crystal he gave me, I would've given much more effort into communicating with them and keeping up my positivity, no matter how fake it would be.

I remember standing near the wall, keeping away from the few people that were in the tavern before midday. It was the least busy time of the day, allowing me to focus on the crystal. It must have looked suspicious to others, but I did not think of them. I examined this crystal fanatically, its pure color and flawless design, the pattern of stars etched upon it; a single look was enough to understand that it was not from our kingdom, perhaps even not from our world.

As I allowed my imagination to run wild once again, fully prepared for another "session" of me meditating and imagining a perfect world, a familiar voice called to me from behind.

"Helena? Oh, there you are…" - I did not hear Leila enter, so much was I preoccupied with the crystal. Yet when she approached me and called, it felt as if I was being torn from a beautiful dream back into the shallow reality. Even after I told her not to pry, she was still here, trying to "help" in any way she could.

"Hello." - I said quietly and without any warmth after clenching the crystal in my hand, hiding it away from Leila's eyes. "What do you want?" - There was no malice in my voice. At least, I thought there wasn't, but Leila was immediately slightly put off by the coldness of my demeanor. She must have realized that I was not in the mood to speak; interrupting my time looking at the crystal certainly didn't help.

"I…Just coming in to see if you're alright." - Leila reassured me. "It's been days since I met, and I've been worrying, you know?"

"Of course…" - I sighed and turned towards her, hoping that Leila would not see anything wrong and just leave me alone. A futile hope, that one. "It has been alright; I've been doing fine." - I tried to sound convincing, but Leila didn't buy it.

"Are you sure? You seem very…I am not sure how to describe it. Tired?" - Oh yes, I was tired, but I would prefer not to state the obvious.

"I'm fine, really. There are some free tables, so if you'd like a drink, one of my friends can serve you." - Perhaps I tried to push her away far too quickly, but this worked to my detriment, for seeing me in this state only pushed her towards me.

"I didn't come here for a drink. I wanted to check up on you." - She spoke naively as if we didn't go through this damned conversation a while ago.

"I am doing fine; what else do you need to know?" - My voice quivered, and she took me away from my meditation. I clenched the crystal in my fist as I felt sweat flowing down my body. Perhaps it was the reason the crystal slipped from my hand despite my holding on to it. My heart pounded as I realized that it bounced off the wall and fell to the floor between Leila and me. My friend noticed the uniqueness of its shape judging by how she watched it with intrigue. I shouldn't have allowed anyone to see it.

The moment I saw Leila kneel down toward it, my reflexes struck. I kneeled down with an arrow's speed, burying the crystal inside my hand once again. I tried to make it practically invisible even when I knew that there was a little point after Leila saw it.

"What…What was that?" - She tried to look at my clenched fist, desperately trying to get a look at the crystal.

"Nothing…It doesn't matter." - I said sharply, trying to switch the focus. I would have given her a different topic if I could think of anything quickly, but my mind went numb, be it from my tiredness or the crystal influence.

"Helena…" - Leila got closer, and I heard the annoying worry in her voice. "Are you sure?"

"I said I am."

"You seem angry; I'm sorry, I didn't mean it this way, I…."

"I don't care how I seem; I asked that you do not push me." - I clenched my teeth.

"I am not ready to talk; there isn't anything to talk about!" - We were going in circles, both wasting our time and stirring up chaos in a place that was supposed to be orderly. "What do you want to know from me? Didn't I tell you everything?"

"I want to know how you are! How is Jerome? Don't you understand that I'm worried?"

"Well, you don't have to be! It's all going as you'd expect; I took your advice to heart and all that…What is so difficult about understanding that I just don't want to talk?" - I was ready to fume, realizing that this would likely become something for me to regret, but I was too annoyed to hold back.

"Why can't you just accept any help?! Do you think that I'm doing anything but helping you? Please, stop being so reclusive!"

"Gods, you will never understand…" - I shook my head, eager to end this as soon as possible. "Leave me alone."

"But…"

"Please!" - I said loudly enough to turn some of my customer's attention. Perhaps it was too much, but I said what I said, and even Leila's disappointed look did nothing to convince me.

"If that's what you wish…" - She said with a pained voice. "I promise I'll pray for you and Jerome." - She looked away, trying to hide her sorrow, and walked out of the inn.

I stayed there and watched, wishing that I could feel some, any shame over it. Perhaps I did but chose not to remember. Perhaps at this point, I only cared for the crystal, for my only future.

…

Tired, hateful, and obsessed, that's what I was turned into during the last few days. I didn't want it to be this way; I didn't want to go through this, didn't want to become such a bitter, annoyed person. Yet the crystal prompted me to be blunt and honest with my feelings, even if they were not pleasant. And they were not. Not after Arthur's death and meeting Lahabrea, not living day after day feeling that the shadows gather behind me, that they watch from behind. Not after returning home utterly empty and tired, only to wake up in the morning and leave for the same excruciating routine again and again.

I regretted my harsh reaction to Leila. I truly did. But I did not want to apologize to her as well. My fear and my doubt made me weaker; I wanted to run away and hide instead of facing my grief and problems. I wanted to look into the crystal for an entire day long, so strong was its influence. Even when I walked towards my home, I struggled to think of Jerome or house duty; I only thought of the moments of peace I would attain with this crystal. It was selfish and pathetic of me, yet I still persisted.

When I was at the doorstep, I saw Jerome once again. He was outside, walking around the house with his toy sword, looking down and avoiding eye contact. There was no energy in him at all, and I must have approached him there and now. And yet I still walked past him, not looking behind. Words couldn't describe my shame; it wasn't because of concern but because of fear that resurfaced once again. I did not want to hurt him, did not want to go through this conversation again. I wonder how long this dreadful cycle would have gone on.

I walked into our house, thinking about the work I had to do next. Any attempt to make a plan focused my thoughts into a chaotic mess, and I was unable to think even a few minutes ahead. So many voices, Lahabrea, Arthur, Jerome, and Leila, all desperately reaching out for me…And here I was, alone at my table, looking at the crystal before me like a mindless puppet, utterly obedient by its charms. I don't remember why I chose not to look at it this time and simply put it away on the table. Perhaps it was out of shame, maybe even some self-consciousness. I didn't want to lose my grip on reality, and if I spent too much time with it, I knew I would. The echoes that it emitted, they were beautiful, far more beautiful than anything the world around me had to offer.

Perhaps this was where the shame came from. I knew that were was so much unfinished here, a life that I could still look forward to. I had people beside me who cared and wished the best for me, even if I pushed them away. I looked at an empty chair in front of me; this was the one where Arthur sat as we discussed the coming war. As I begged for him to lie, to turn away from this horrid duty while it still wasn't late, and he stalwartly refused, as he promised to return…I still saw him there. A man in front of me, a shade of the one I loved, looking at me with emptiness and sorrow. This was a figment of my imagination, perhaps the crystal's work, but it seemed so real. He looked me in the eyes, constantly fading and gaining form before my eyes, like a very faint illusion. And he smiled. That bright, courageous face, the one I always aspired to, the one who protected and loved me with all his heart, the true warrior, husband, and father. Even from the other side, he still smiled, still wanted to rejoin us, to fulfill his duty…

I wanted him to do it. He wasn't here and never will be here again. I don't remember the moment when I started crying, but I did. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at the wall in front of me, eager to see someone who was not there, who I desperately wanted to be there. Once again, I whimpered. Quietly this time, just as much as my remaining strength allowed me to do. No more screaming, no more weeping, no promises to speak of, just silent tears at the life we lost.

I heard the door creak. This was when I immediately grabbed the crystal and shoved it inside my pocket. I didn't have time to wipe my tears before Jerome saw them. I looked away, but I saw the pain in his eyes; he was at a loss. I shivered and avoided his gaze. He didn't have to see the broken mess that I was; he didn't have to burden himself with it. It would only hurt him further. I tried to wipe my tears, breathing heavily and trying to collect my thoughts while still unable to force myself to look his way. Just a moment more, I can look confident and not break down; I could, I could…Just a little more, just a few more breaths…

"Don't cry, mommy." - I heard his kind voice behind me, causing me to freeze. It was Jerome with the sweetest kindness and understanding in his voice. No judgment nor anger. I felt ashamed for expecting it from him once again, even after the passing of time. Did I truly know my son so poorly and expect the worst of him when the truth was that he needed love and understanding? He hugged me very gently, finally having me turn around. He saw my tears, and I saw his, nothing to hide anymore. "Do you…Do you miss him?"

"Yes…" - I spoke quietly, holding back my tears. I remember being relieved at the moment, once again being reminded that I was not alone in my pain; I tended to forget it to my own shame. "I miss him."

"I want him to come back…I think that I could've survived because he's a hero, they always survive, they must…They always…" - He clutched me, unable to form words as the boy continued to weep. I hugged him tightly and stopped holding back. I don't remember for long we cried, but we were together, and we were not ashamed anymore. "I'm sorry, mother…I shouted at you that time. I was really sad and…I didn't know if you would forgive me and…"

"I am not angry." - I said with reassurance and warmth. "I shouldn't have lied to you, and I don't blame you for feeling this way…Please forgive me." - I asked after gently wiping his tears.

"I forgive you, I forgive you…" - He repeated a few times, trying to convince me.

"It's alright…" - I knew he needed motherly warmth and kindness now more than ever. "It will not be easy to let him go and live on; both of us have a responsibility to make him proud…But I promise that whatever happens, I will be there for you. I'm sorry that I've been distant, but that will change, I swear…" - Finally, I was able to speak my mind. Finally, the crystal was forgotten, even for a moment, and I could rejoice for a moment with my son. I meant every word I said that day, speaking from the bottom of my very soul.

Yet every word was also a lie.

…

I refused to let our family collapse; even in the face of all the pain and despair that we faced, I couldn't leave Jerome abandoned any longer. I made mistakes, many of them but his touch, his tears kind voice have served as a reminder that no matter how low I fall, there is still a chance to correct these failures, to rise up again and return better than I was. Arthur would want us to do this; if he was the one left in this world, I believed he would be able to move on after suffering so much.

I never cared much for our religion or the gods our priests spoke of. I believed in them. There was no reason to reject the faith in something that comes after one's death; it helped many of us sleep at night, knowing that our final hour would just be a new beginning, no matter when it comes. But after losing Arthur, I understood those who devoted their lives to the Pantheon. They were men and women who had gone through tremendous loss and pain in their lives; they saw the only chance for them to carry on was in believing that one day, they would be reunited with their loved ones on the other side. One day, I believed I would see Arthur again, sense his warm touch upon my skin and kiss my lips after promising that we shall never be separated once again.

But that day was a long way away, and I had no intention of making it come sooner. My memories of Arthur will remain with me for the remainder of my life, but I could still live. I remember the day when I took Jerome out to the monument the King's guard placed outside the castle, scribbling hundreds of names of those who gave their lives for us. The same monument I saw on the palace grounds, but now it was for everyone to see. I heard that Willem did not want to install it initially, but some of his advisors spoke in favor of giving us peasants this much.

Both of us needed a moment to reflect on Arthur, to remember our shared moments beyond his death. I worried that it would be too difficult for Jerome, but like a true warrior in the making, he was ready to travel to the monument. He even took his toy sword, playing with it while we were on our way. The first time he actually got some joy from it since learning of Arthur's demise. He wanted to be just like his father, just like a fearless soldier that would do everything in his power to crush invaders and save Valgarde.

When we finally arrived, I felt the grandiose scale of the monument. So many names etched on stone, so many lives lost in those battles. This time it was our kingdom that had to defend itself, but it wasn't always like this. King Willem never denied his ambitions and desire to expand the territories of our kingdom. Perhaps if not for those, Takori would have never launched a counter-attack. It was truly a cycle, broken and painful for everyone involved, yet everyone continued to play their part for ephemeral rewards most would never reap.

There was no point.

As I was consumed by my own thoughts, Jerome looked at the monument with awe and pride, holding on to his toy sword.

"Can you hear me, father? I've tried to be strong like you've always told me…And I will be; I'll protect mother and our kingdom when I grow up, I promise!" - He spoke with a hopeful yet pained voice. I wished to comfort him, but now he had the chance to express himself. He hoped that, in some capacity, Arthur was listening, and I hoped for it too. I knew he would not answer, the wedge between our realities has been far too great, but I still prayed. Prayed for the peace that his soul deserved, prayed for him to find his place within the heavens, prayed for Jerome and me, for our future to be one of hope…

There were never any gods to answer but ones I saw before. Ones with the black robes and red masks, the schemers and manipulators who have been following my every step. They were the real gods my prayers were for. But I did not know, enjoying one of the last moments of blissful ignorance.

"Helena?" - I heard Leila's voice echoing from behind; I turned my head towards her along with Jerome. The Eliri woman looked at us with some caution and hope. I imagine she still thought back to our last meeting and how unfavorably that ended. I have gone over it myself and realized that I was too blunt and too focused on my pleasures to be more open with her.

"Leila!" - Jerome excitedly happily and waved the sword before her; this was enough of a stimulus for her to form a relieved smile on her face. Jerome strolled towards her. It has been a while since the last time they saw each other.

"I'm glad to see you, little knight!" - She smiled as she approached. That smile was soon gone the moment she looked at me, replaced with an expression not of hatred but of confusion and uncertainty. It was clear that she was not eager to tempt fate once again. "Helena, are you…" - Still, she wanted closure, and she deserved to get it. I wanted to be honest myself; I really did.

"It's alright." - I smiled at her. "Sorry for being rude last time, I… I've been going through hard times."

"No, don't apologize. I've been far too pushy myself." - Leila shook her head and said apologetically. We both made our mistakes, and there was no point in dwelling on them anymore. All that matters now is keeping people we care for close, sharing this pain and journey with them. And Leila was one of them. "How are you two doing?"

"Better." - I responded after taking a deep breath. "You were right when you said we needed to talk; it isn't perfect, but…We truly are better now, thanks."

"I'm glad to hear it." - Leila sighed with relief before standing by our side. She looked at the monument with a sad smile. "King Willem didn't want to bring it outside until my husband, and a few others spoke out…He wanted to keep those names just for himself and the royalty, but they convinced him to put them somewhere where their relatives would see them…The names, I mean. One day, they will grace this land once again." - She said faithfully, recalling the old Elirian legend of reincarnation. I never believed in it, but at times I wished I did.

"Thank you for it."

"Oh, don't thank me, I'm just a handmaid who watched it all unfold…Maybe I could arrange a meeting? We could all get to know each other and share, thanks?" - She said hopefully, and even I couldn't help but smile. Her lively energy and desire to live on and to help those around her were always something to be inspired by.

"I'd like that." - Jerome said. "Is he a warrior, too?"

"Oh, he is the knight, one of their leaders! I'm sure he will be delighted to meet a little such as yourself." - She spoke playfully, sparking Jerome's interest. I did not want to deny them the opportunity. It was a while since I met Leila's husband myself, and we never got an opportunity to speak for too long. If he truly played a part in making Arthur's name known, then he deserved the sincerest gratitude. "And also…" - Leila looked at me with hope before sighing. "I know you won't like the idea, but can you hear it out?"

"Of course." - I reassured her.

"Fine…I know that with Arthur gone, you will need to work a lot more to earn the keep, and you didn't want to get anyone else involved, but we can help." - She spoke, almost begging me to listen. I didn't want to claim the coin that was not earned and tried to avoid taking it from others. Perhaps this was my own stubbornness, the one that served to make life worse for Jerome and me. If I agree to this, it wouldn't be for myself, but for my son and only him.

"Very well…What are you proposing?"

"My husband and I can cover some of your expenses, you know? Jerome goes to school, right? I'm sure we can aid with that! Just to take something off your shoulders, you needn't overwork yourself, especially now." - Leila spoke hopefully, and I enjoyed hearing her words. I wasn't sure if I wanted to rely on others in such a big manner, but I knew that it would do good for both of us. I would get more time to spend with Jerome, and he wouldn't feel as lonely. He needed me, and I had to make up for my past fears. I gazed at my son, seeing him grow hopeful for the future. He wanted to get the support we needed, to have opportunities, and climb from the edges of despair.

"I'll think about it, but thank you." - I said. "It means a lot to me…For us."

"Thanks for understanding; maybe we could discuss this when we all get together?" - Leila suggested. "How about tomorrow? My husband has a free evening, and he'll make arrangements to let you into the palace as guests.

"That would be lovely." - I smiled and watched Jerome beam with excitement. All of us enjoyed this moment of happiness, not thinking about what was to come, a pure bliss.

…

Over the years to come, I wondered when was the exact moment when I lost the luxury of choice. I know now that it was gone the moment the white-haired man put his yellow eyes on me during the parade, but the ascians were masters of keeping that illusion up while expecting every single outcome. They made me believe that I had a choice, that I could accept my fate or deny it, and that I still had control. Was I so foolish as to truly believe this? Or did I know from the first and was simply scared of the obvious truth?

Whatever it was, I remember running from my destiny. I believed anyone who lived a life worth living would do the same in my position. I had a son, I had friends and family, I had a duty to fulfill, and I would have never abandoned it for what I believed to be selling my soul to those demonic beings. That's why I ran.

As the dusk descended and Jerome was still in his school, I left the house and rushed towards the lake at the edge of our city, a remote place where people came if they wanted some solitude. I held the crystal in my hand, still sensing the relief and calm it radiated. I don't remember whether I grew resistant to its charms or acted despite them. What I did remember was the pain in my heart. I still did not know what I was forsaking were I to throw this crystal away, yet I was well aware of what I would give up if I were to do as Lahabrea instructed. I would not go back on my son, never.

Yet I did not throw it away immediately.

The memory is blurred in my mind most days before and after the awakening, but I know that I took my time. I held the crystal before my eyes in my shaking hands, unable to let go. I gazed into the painting of stars etched on it and watched its green edges, trying to picture it in my mind and not miss a single detail. It was so simple yet so beautiful, and a part of me always wanted to peer into it. The distant places I heard the call from me have been unmatched by anything I ever felt or sensed. I knew nothing of them, yet I felt like I belonged there.

I waited, unable to say goodbye to it once and for all. I did not understand how a single trinket could enforce such feelings and emotions out of me? I don't remember if I have ever braced myself to get rid of it…I imagine I did not. Not before the rift opened before me, with a black-robed figure stepping out and ending the solitude, shattering all my thoughts into shambles.

"What are you doing?" - The red masked man said; if I had any doubts before, now I easily recognized him as Lahabrea. The starkness and disappointment in his voice hurt me, although I knew not why at the time. I had all the reasons to fear that he would kill me, but that thought did not even cross my mind at the moment. I was not foolish enough to lie in his face, though I admit that it has crossed my mind.

"I…" - I took a deep breath before staring him in the eyes, even though they were covered by the mask. "I thought about your offer, this crystal, it's tempting…Very tempting." - I clutched it in my hands, trying not to shiver and stand tall in his face. We both realized how powerless I was; perhaps I could at least show some dignity.

"Yet you have not opened up your soul to it." - Lahabrea pointed out. He took his mask off, focusing his ruby gaze upon my doubting self. There was no malice or disdain in his eyes, and this gave me a slither of confidence. He was human…Maybe different to me or anyone else I knew, but still human. I only had to think back to our conversation in the inn and how genuine his words sounded back then. "Does your past not interest you? Is the world where you would live without loss and sorrow, not a worthy cause to fight for?"

"It does…I don't know why this crystal is so powerful or what kind of magic you concealed inside, but…There is something else." - I sighed and said as courageously as I could, noticing genuine surprise on Lahabrea's face.

"And what would that be?"

"These memories…They are of a different person, right? Someone who I was in my past life?" - I never believed Eliri legends that spoke of reincarnation, unlike Leila, but there was the only possible explanation for Lahabrea's words. I was someone else in my past life, someone with a different identity and ambitions, and this was the person Lahabrea wished to see before him.

"Indeed…" - The ascian said quietly. "Someone I knew very well, someone whose soul was split into fourteen suffering shards stuck in a cycle of death and rebirth…You are one of them."

"But I am not her…Am I?"

"Not yet." - Lahabrea sighed. "This crystal is a gateway to your past, and it will make you her. Perhaps not initially, but with time…The outcome is inevitable."

"And what of my life?"

"Your life?" - Did he truly not understand?

"Yes. My husband may have died, but I have a son to raise…A son I love! I have friends that wish to help me get through this. I have a goddamn future!" - I sounded angry, shocked at realizing that he wanted me to simply give up on everything I lived for just because of some tempting promise. "Even if I'll change my mind after looking into the crystal…That won't be me anymore. That will be the one, you knew, and I don't want to give up…I will not give up!"

"A son, you say?" - Lahabrea spoke with doubt and regret in his voice. He averted his gaze and clenched his fist, almost as if unsure what to do. "I…The fact that my ally encountered you on parade was a stroke of unimaginable luck for us…He would have to spend months searching for another shard, and I would not be able to help him with it. We cannot afford the wait; too much time has passed already." - He spoke with determination through his pain, trying to convince both himself and me. "You would not regret this, I swear. If only you looked at the crystal, you would see our past, our future! It is your future too, and I know that if only you knew, you would stand by our side!" - He spoke with confidence and belief, but also…Desire? Yes, I was not mistaken back then. "Take a look into the crystal here and now."

I would've lied if I didn't have doubts at this moment, but I did not forget what I said. I thought of Jerome, of Leila, of my responsibility for my son and the legacy I would carry on, had to carry on into the future. I wished to see Jerome grow into a man and a true warrior, to be with him every step of the way, and not forsake my past life because of pain. That would be cowardice.

That would be a betrayal.

"No, I won't." - I tossed the crystal to the ground before Lahabrea, looking at him fearlessly. "I have people I love, and I don't need crystals or other memories for them! It's my life; it's not perfect or painless…But I choose it."

"I see." - Lahabrea sighed, picking up the crystal and still watching me. "I didn't want it to come to this. I'm sorry."

I was prepared to run, but I had no chance. The dark chains emerged around me, forcing me to the ground. At Lahabrea's command, another dark rift opened, and I was dragged into oblivion this very instant.

There was no illusion of choice anymore.

…

Did I scream?

I was too shocked to react. Everything happened so quickly that I lost control over my senses just as swiftly as Lahabrea plucked me from my world. We were in the rift, two lone souls amidst everlasting darkness, an edge between dream and reality. Not dead or alive, not existing in the world as I know, but rushing to the dark end beyond my understanding.

Was this what awaited us after death? Oblivion and nothingness? We were told about the realms of the gods, the heavens created for us by the Pantheon, a place for every man and woman who served their country loyally and lived their life righteously. This was nothing like it; there was nothing to soothe or inspire, nothing but horrifying darkness. All while I still felt his powerful touch, Lahabrea's hands grabbed my soul stronger than any chains.

"Do not resist."

That's all I heard before seeing the purple light ahead of us. It approached us, getting closer and closer before absorbing our souls inside. That's when I witnessed the dreaded realm of the ascians, Chrysalis, they called it. A rift between worlds infused by their darkness, where their souls could convene and restore their powers. I was forced to the ground made out of purple crystals, watching the darkness that reigned above us instead of the skies. I could feel thousands of eyes watching us, a horrific presence that was everywhere around me, even though I could not see it.

My whole body shivered, and as I panicked and looked around, the voices echoed in my head.

"Return…"

"Claim…

"The seat is yours…"

"Open your soul…"

I looked above me, seeing Lahabrea float seamlessly in his dark robes, holding the red mask and the Emerald crystal while looking at me with intrigue. I always realized that he was powerful beyond most people's capabilities, but to take me into this hellish place so effortlessly, nothing could make me feel as broken and horrified.

"Do not be afraid." - He said while descending. I crawled away, unable to put my thoughts into words, frantically shaking my head.

"G…G…Get away from me!" - I screeched like a wounded animal, echoing my voice through the darkness. I remember my hands shaking as I barely felt the ground before me. Was this because of my own terror, or was I in a place that was truly beyond comprehension and mortal limits? All I could think of in the spur of this moment was not showing weakness, not breaking out in tears. This was the exact reaction from a soldier that Lahabrea sent into oblivion, and all it did was to motivate the unhinged ascian even more.

Unfortunately, I got no chance to resist either. His dark chains appeared inside me once again, pinning me to the ground and restricting my movement. The impending dread and sense of inevitability tormented me as Lahabrea slowly approached.

"It did not have to be this way." - He spoke with disappointment.

"LET ME GO!" - I continued to scream spitefully, even though I knew that these pleas would not mean anything to him. All I saw before my eyes were the moment of hesitation when I spoke of my life, the moment that gave me confidence and hope. Lahabrea genuinely doubted his actions, but it was nothing but trickery to make me believe that I had any power at all.

Suddenly another voice rang out from beyond the veil, another distantly familiar echo that I tried to recognize. It wasn't anyone I knew, yet why was this voice so…So familiar?

"Must you always disturb my rest with another one of your games?" - The voice echoed before another man emerged through the rift of darkness. He wore black robes with silver pauldrons, identical to Lahabrea's, but his skin was lighter and his hair white as snow. Despite all this, his yellow eyes were what made me recognize him, only hammering my shock stronger.

"You…You…" - I struggled to speak as I acknowledged the stranger I met during the parade in him. Lahabrea turned towards him and shook his head in disappointment.

"Have you ever considered not taking your rest that often? At times it seems Elidibus, and I do all the work." - Lahabrea retorted.

"Oh, do you, now? Remind me, please, who was the one to find this woman? You? Elidibus? No? How strange, almost as if you couldn't raise the shards up without someone gifted in soul sight…" - The stranger crossed his hand.

"Finding is but a first step; it's where the real work begins, and it is rarely your hands that shape it." - Lahabrea scolded him.

"Who are you?! What do you want from me, just…Stop it!" - I shouted, trying to make sense of this insanity, but what could I do when my own mind was slowly consumed by its essence? I would never forget the chill of my heart, never unsee those who had power over me, never forget the moment of my death.

"And what about your job?" - The ascian wondered, looking at Lahabrea. "Didn't you say you would convince her to come willingly? That hardly seems willing to me."

"I encountered some complications, but it doesn't change our course."

"So you admit I was right?"

"Focus, Emet-Selch, we have a shard to enlighten." - Lahabrea spoke commandingly, and Emet-Selch decided not to argue anymore. The two ascians looked at my chained self, the former with grief and the latter with disdain and disappointment.

"Fine, fine…" - Emet sighed. "Now, if our dearest Emissary didn't sense the disturbance, I suppose I shall…"

Moments before he finished, a third rift opened.

"You know Elidibus never misses a single disturbance." - Lahabrea shook his head at Emet-Selch before looking at an emerging figure with a smile. Another red-masked mage, but this one had bright white robes, contrasting with the darkness that surrounded us. "Welcome back."

"I trust a new shard has been brought into the fold?" - Elidibus said monotonously before looking at me. I did not see his eyes, but the ascian's voice did not exude any sympathy or human emotion, unlike the other two. I could sense the coldness of his stare on me, the unnerving detachment.

"Aye, and this one is feistier than the last one." - Emet-Selch noted. "Such a shame that our "glorious leader" did not convince her to come willingly…" - He said while looking at Lahabrea, but I've learned that the elder ascian was above those petty insults.

"Which one is it?" - Elidibus asked.

"Igeyorhm." - Lahabrea responded, causing the Emissary's interest to pique as he eyed me once again.

"Ah, now it becomes clear…Have no fear, Lahabrea, she will be one of us, like others before her." - For the first time, he showed any emotions, reassuring Lahabrea of…Something. Something that made me tremble even more.

"That let's begin at once." - Lahabrea commanded, and the trio looked at me.

"What…What do you want from me?" - I pleaded before focusing on Lahabrea. He was the most familiar to me and the only one who seemed human to me, my only hope. "I said I don't want to look at this crystal…I can't open my soul! I can't reunite with those memories…I HAVE MY OWN." - I prayed for him to react, but it was the Emissary that spoke.

"This is not the only method." - He spoke, making all of my worst fears come true. "Your compliance would have spared us the trouble, but it is not mandatory."

"Why…Why do you need me? Whoever I was… I'm not her anymore; I am not Hera! "- I called out the name Lahabrea spoke of, much to Emet-Selch's surprise.

"Told her the name, haven't you? I'd expect you refer to our brethren by title, as the Convocation decrees…"

"It is not my duty to reveal her the seat." - Lahabrea said before raising a hand with the very trinket I tried to get rid of. "The crystal will do that. Don't move, Hera. We will make it quick." - After those words, the trio went silent.

"N…NO!"

Elidibus was the first to strike, unleashing a spell of burning magic from his hand. I felt it striking my body, burning every fiber of my being. Once again, I could not maintain any control or feeling; it was just like in the dream when I saw Arthur perish…This memory only added to the pain. I could not scream for long. Soon, my voice broke and became hoarse, and the image before my eyes blurred more with every second. I saw nothing but silhouettes and black shades before me, each of them doing his part in unmaking me.

Another raised his hand, but I could not see whether it was Emet-Selch or Lahabrea. The ascian enhanced my body with darkness, painful yet almost…Soothing. After Elidibus's spell, it was only slight repeating pain, nothing I could not withstand. Was it over? For a second, I must have believed the fool's dream, but I was not even nearing the catharsis.

One of the figures in black robes walked towards my tormented body and soul, taking out the emerald crystal and placing it before my corroding gaze.

"Time for you to return to us." - I heard Lahabrea's voice moments before he empowered the crystal with his magic, blinding me once again.

And then, the nightmare around me was annihilated by the light of the crystal's stars. The Hell around me dissipated, giving way to the heaven I yearned for. The heaven I forgot.

"And now, let me bring forth the seat of Igeyorhm for…"

I saw the day I stepped into the halls of the Capitol. A bright-skinned, blue-haired woman in a grey robe, holding a white mask in my arms, preparing to give it away for the one colored in red. I saw the Fourteen congratulating me, including him…Lahabrea was there, still young and vibrant. He was the one that announced my ascension; he was there when my predecessor gave me the glyph of the Martyr.

"And so I remind you that our duty is to bring mankind towards enlightenment, towards understanding…"

I saw myself standing amidst the hall of Rhetoric with dozens of Amaurotines, enthralled by my speech. I donned my old robe, and now I wore black clothing and a bright red mask, which only those in my seat would wear. A relic of the ancient past passed down through generations, now mine to claim. The seat of rhetoric and enlightenment, it was my duty to see that we grow as a civilized society with many viewpoints and ideas flourishing under our guidance.

"The developments from underneath Elpis may be…Unsettling to some, but if anyone will be able to convince them of its benefits, it is you…"

I remembered the days of Convocation. How I got to know them and earn my rightful place, especially Lahabrea. We oftentimes worked together; I found his creations and research extremely fascinating, while he always looked highly upon my talent in speech and debate. I think we were…Friends. Yes, we were indeed…

"Are you sure that everything is alright? You look…Tired. Broken, even."

I remembered the time when Lahabrea grew distant and doubtful when he started avoiding people, as uncharacteristic as it was for him. Why did I reach out to him? Why did I want to help? I was always there to listen to everyone who needed it, but this was different. His sorrow, his pain, was what tore me apart.

"It has come, it has come! Run for your lives, run…"

And then the fire and brimstone rained upon us. Unimaginable destruction and horror, the beasts emerging from the depths of our limitless creative potential. So many souls annihilated in this flame, so much sorrow. No words, not prayers, could save us then, only sacrifice most approved of. Or families, our friends have perished in these flames… That's all I saw. The flames of pain and agony.

And when they finally subsided, I saw the figure on the other side. It was Hera.

It was me.