Chapter 10
In which Voldemort discovered that Malfoy's gossiping habit is hereditary and jealousy is uncomfortable.
"... And that covers our first class of The Hippogriffs and The Hornets talk. For homework, I want a one feet thirteen inches essay of why it is inappropriate and inadvisable to touch the Hippogriffs, sorry, witches before their coming of age. " Professor Dumbledore concluded their first class with a flourish. "We will meet again at the same time next week, so be sure to prepare your assignment and read ahead."
Voldemort blinked and looked around. Several of his followers had joined Lucius and Severus in their corner. Crabbe, Sr. and Goyle, Sr. Was on the refreshment table and his other followers were writing, possibly their homework, with red faces. He'd send a stinging hex to those who were not paying attention, and as such, the group of terrified and traumatized wizards had to pay attention to the diagrams and projected pensieve memories that the Professor showed them.
On their parts, Lucius and Severus had long past the threshold of their inhibitions. Not only because Professor Dumbledore's version of the Hippogriffs Talk was way more explicit than Abraxas' and any other Pureblood parents' version, it was also horrifying. Who knows that Wizards of the past had an active sex life at eleven, the earliest, or that wrong actions could lead to the birth of obscurial, or worse, squibs.
Severus, who received the Hippogriffs talk along with Lucius from Abraxas, certainly never would have guessed that such a talk could cover an entire curriculum. Abraxas' version was a fifteen minutes talk about wizards and witches are different and when they are married, they may procreate by copulating. This was done hurriedly with an embarrassed air before he escorted the two of them to an inn where he entrusted the rest of the education to the girls he hired while he drank and smoked cigars in the Gentlemen's Club. As far as he knows, this was the way it was done traditionally in Pureblood families, passed down from Fathers and Sons. They even have girls highly trained in that art just to teach their sons. Abraxas once commented that the girls are way saver than going to a common whorehouse the way the lesser Houses had to contend with.
Lucius would be passing this down to Draco in two years, and he was terrified. Dumbledore's version of the Hippogriffs Talk made him realize that the complete version is very necessary. He might have to ask if he would be allowed to borrow the material. He of all people, should have known better than the rest about the sick people in the Wizarding World. Obscurial! Merlin forbade his beloved son from being exposed to those kinds of people. Not to mention the high chance of producing squibs, what would the Ancient House of Malfoy do if it's sole heir only capable of producing squibs.
Voldemort on the other hand was half mortified, half intrigued as he had never had this kind of talk before. He raised a hand to ask a question and waited until Dumbledore nodded at him. In the wall behind the Professor, the portraits of previous Headmasters and Headmistresses listened in a various state of mortification, the most hilarious was Phineas Nigellus Black who plugged his ears while glaring daggers at Dumbledore. The witch a few places above him, Professor Eupraxia Mole covered her face in embarrassment.
"So, basically the Hippogriff, I mean Witch, had to be of age and comfortable for the Hornet, I mean Wizard to pollinate the Hippo… Merlin's beard, why this need of ridiculous metaphors? And what does that mean, pollinate? My Lady is a witch, not a flower. " Voldemort asked.
Dumbledore sighed, he does have a point. "Pollinate'' is only a metaphor of the joining between a wizard and a witch. Didn't you learn this in your orphanage? I happen to know that it's mandatory during that time. "
"If you meant sex education, I was not allowed to attend, and was told that God will not allow an abomination like me to touch any girl. They are too pure for the likes of me, and that I should not be spreading my curse to other people. " He said dryly.
"What?! Who ses dat?! I'll dodure him por you! " A drunk Lucius jumped to his feet.
"Be bill avend you Ma Lord" Percival Parkinson jumped to his feet, brandishing his wand upside down.
Voldemort massaged his temple. "Sit down, Percival! "
Dumbledore stared at Voldemort in disbelief, then shook his head.
"No worries. We'll cover this matter in the future class. Now, it's dinner, and the House Elves have outdone themselves. " He clapped and the refreshment disappeared, replaced by a hearty dinner menu they could choose from.
In the Great Hall, Harriet was reading a letter from Gringotts about the people she should hire to help with preparing the land for her Conservatory. She read the list of recommended people and stopped at two familiar names.
On a glance, these two were the perfect candidates as they were both British born, have family in England and were highly recommended for skills. The other candidates were mostly too old or foreign wizards. Her eyes lifted to stare at Percy Weasley and the twins. Merlin forbade her to ask the Weasley in her year to contact his brothers.
Draco sat beside her and talked a bit. When he took a cup of water, she turned to him and asked,
"Draco, do you know anything about the elder Weasley brothers? They graduated already, and were recommended to me by the Goblins. It was very impressive to come highly recommended as I see that Mr. Charles Weasley had only worked in the reserves for five months. Mr. William Weasley, on the other hand, finished his Warding courses in record breaking time and is currently apprenticed under Gringotts as a curse breaker."
Draco whistled. "And they recommended him to you? That is high praise indeed. I wasn't normally interested in the Weasley Family. They were our family's adversary. There was a blood feud or something in the past, but I can ask Father if you need it. Or maybe Neville can help, since he was in Gryffindor."
Harriet hummed thoughtfully. "I think I will ask Neville. This isn't exactly House Gaunt or House Slytherin business anyways, and Lucius is busy as it is. He needs to make the Christmas Deadline on the things I asked him to do. "
Originally, Harriet wanted to teach her husband (and his followers) a lesson but found out that he had a lot of debts. As such, she didn't want to use the galleons to fund her conservatory. Anyways, in a happy coincidence, Harriet had received a lot of bequeathment by people who were thankful that she 'killed' Voldemort. A lot of them were the last of their line and had decided that their vaults would be given to Harriet in the event of their deaths. Guess where most of the reparation funds went. So, in a roundabout way, she still used Tom's galleons to fund it, only with a lot of donations from other people. She had planned to put some plagues to immortalize these people in the Conservatory.
"As you wish, My Lady." Draco drawled as she left him to speak with Neville.
Neville introduced her to the Weasley twins who were rather starry eyed about their Dragon Handler brother and immediately agreed to put in some words for her to invite the two eldest Weasley Brothers to an interview with her. Their stories about Charlie made her rather intrigued, and that was all she could talk to Draco for the rest of their dinner time.
After saying goodbye to Harriet, Draco walked back to his dorm, and unexpectedly bumped into his Father, Godfather and Professor Quirrell. They were returning to Severus' quarter themselves.
"Father! I didn't know that you were still here! " He bounded up to his Father with a large smile on his face.
"Draco, returning from dinner? Why are you alone? " Lucius ruffled his son's hair and frowned at the sticky gel in his hand. He silently scourgified his hand and put it on Draco's shoulder instead.
"Oh, I was just escorting Harriet back to her dorm. She was fascinated with the second Weasley Brother. Did you know him, Father? He's a dragon handler. Apparently, he is highly recommended even though he only worked for five months…"
While Draco prattled on the virtues of Charles Weasley (of course he knew of the Weasleys' second son), Lucius and Severus became highly aware of the increasingly nervous Quirrell. Looking at each other, Lucius cut his son's commentary, well aware of Draco's fascination with anything dragon.
"Draco dear, it is very fascinating. You must be tired. Go and rest now. I still have business with Severus and Quirinus here. "
Draco eyed them curiously. "Of course, Father. Good Eve. "
Once Draco was out of sight, Quirinus grabbed the two Death Eaters and barged into an empty classroom, blasting everything inside with a few well aimed Confringos.
"What is she playing at?! She is my wife! She had no business being fascinated to another wizard! What's so good about a dragon handler anyways?! It's so plebeian. I could take her to the Chamber of Secrets and show her how I handle Basilisk. now that is a legendary creature, it is going to be way more fascinating than mere dragons! "
Lucius gulped. "My Lord, I'm pretty sure that My Lady's fascination is purely academic. From the sound of it, my son is the one more enamored with the Dragon Handler. "
Voldemort froze and looked confused. "I don't understand this anger. Lucius, why does the thought of My Lady admiring someone else made me want to feed that person to Medusa? "
Lucius mouthed "Medusa? " To Severus who shrugged, equally flummoxed.
"Maybe because you were jealous, My Lord? After all, you haven't been properly introduced to your Lady. Maybe you were worried that she liked him better than you? "
Voldemort's voice was colder than ice. "I don't need to be reminded that I am much older than him, and at this state, probably much disfigured too. I am however much more skilled, smarter, and back in my days, a lot of witches faint just from my smile. "
Severus rather thought that the somewhat naive Dark Lord might be misguided about the reason why witches fainted at his smile, but he'd heard that the Dark Lord was quite the heartthrob in his younger years. Only, he wasn't interested in the witches, and was more comfortable in the company of his male friends. Hence the reason he could mistake the Hippogriffs Talk with a class about Hippogriffs the creature.
"So, about that date… "
"NO! " Lucius, Severus and Quirinus shouted in unison.
"Let's start with something tamer. Unicorn, for example. There are some in the Forbidden Forest. " Quirinus suggested.
"Hmm… interesting. Arrange for a picnic, Quirinus, and Lucius, your son may serve as our chaperone. "
"Yes, My Lord, at once, My Lord. " Quirinus said as Lucius cringed at the thought of sending his son to the Forbidden Forest
Only a Dark Lord would think that the Forbidden Forest is a suitable place for a first date.