See the fires burning,
far away…
"Hmm. It's deserted in here.
They've evacuated the colony.
Wise decision." The building
collapsed in a pile of rubble. His
scanners showed a small group of mobile suits bearing down on his position. "Leos?
Why even bother?" He paused by a
Ferris wheel, looking at it curiously. "The
colony doesn't need things like these at all."
The Leos were almost in range. "What the colony really needs is," he
aimed at the approaching Leos through the spokes of the ride, "…a war!"
* Humph, Leos. Not exactly a challenge. *
Quatre maneuvered his way out of the
colony. Those Leos wouldn't have come
alone and it was too hard to fight inside.
Zero alerted him to the presence of a group of mobile suits. "Zero…identify. Hmm, more space Leos and one other. Identity unconfirmed?
Zero… analyze. Gundanium? A new Gundam? Is it an enemy?" Only
Zero's quick response enabled him to avoid the shot from the strange blue suit.
* Well, I guess that answers that
question. *
Is there anyone who stays,
anymore?
- Quatre, this is Trowa. Can you hear me, Quatre? -
/ Trowa? Is Tro here to help me? /
* No. He
came with the OZ Leo troops. *
Quatre's face hardened.
* He is an enemy. *
/ No! Tro is my friend! /
* Not anymore. *
/ But I love him! /
* That was in the past. *
"I can hear you, Trowa." His voice sounded broken, even to himself. He had to get out a warning before he was
unable to care. He felt like he was
just barely clinging to control. "Don't
come any closer, Trowa."
/ No, he is still approaching, why won't he listen?
/
/ Please, Tro. I can't hold myself back much longer. /
"What did I
just say? Don't get any closer to me!" He couldn't stop himself from firing. When he could finally release the trigger,
Trowa's cockpit was bared to the darkness of space.
- Hey, Quatre.
What's going on here? -
"Trowa.
Outer space has gone crazy. I'm
going to use this Gundam to destroy it all."
* Yes, destroy everything. *
"I have no choice but to destroy all the weapons
that have accumulated out here."
* Every last one.
Including you and me. *
"The colonies are becoming armed right?"
* Right. *
"That's why the colonies must be destroyed!"
- What's the matter? Quatre! This isn't like
the Quatre I know. -
* What does he know? Shoot him! *
/ No. He'll
listen. /
* He won't.
You are going to have to kill him. *
/ No! I won't kill Trowa! /
"Tell the others for me. Tell them to stay way from me.
Otherwise, I'll end up killing them."
Zero beeped, another suit was approaching at high velocity. "I'm
telling you not to get any closer!"
Quatre turned and blasted the new arrival, which somehow blocked the
blast.
* Another new Gundam? My, my, someone's been busy. *
- Is that all you've got to say? -
* Oh goody, the 'perfect soldier' is here too. *
- If everything has gone crazy, I'll believe in
myself and keep fighting. Quatre, omae
o
korosu. -
* That's our Heero. Okay, eliminate the enemy! *
/ But…he's not an enemy…/
"Heero, why are we fighting each
other?"
* Because, he is an enemy. *
/ No! I just have to make him understand. /
"The colonies have teamed up with
OZ. They're my enemies now." His voice got hopeful, maybe he could
convince them. "Trowa, Heero, the
colonies are your enemies now too.
Outer space has lost all reason,"
* Like you? *
/ Shut up! /
"…that's why I'm gonna destroy
everything. That's natural, isn't it?"
* Of course it is. *
/ But…/
Like the sparrow who has
lost,
his wing…
Heero wouldn't give up. The red suit kept attacking, forcing Quatre
to retaliate with Zero. / Please,
Heero. I don't want to kill you! /
"You'll die Heero. I don't want to defeat people who are my
allies. Please, Heero. Get away from here. Hey!
Are you listening to me?!"
* Shoot him. *
- Quatre. I'm not leaving. There's
a colony that needs to be defended. -
* Nooooo. It needs to be destroyed! *
Zero's blast forced Heero's suit
back against the colony and then through the wall. "I'd ask you to get out of your mobile suit, but you won't will
you? In that case, I'm just gonna have
to kill you."
* Finally. *
/ But is this necessary? /
* Yes. *
- Then get it over with. I have no intention of chatting with an
enemy. -
* I'm the enemy? *
"That's it then. Goodbye, Heero." Quatre's face was devoid of any emotion as he pulled the trigger.
The powerful beam cannon fired.
Suddenly, Trowa interposed his damaged suit between Heero's and the
blast.
Like a girl who never sings,
never sings.
/ Trowa?! /
- Quatre. Why don't you realize what a big mistake you're making? -
/ I…I know…but I can't stop…/
"Trowa?"
- This battle is unnecessary. -
Quatre watched as Heero came up behind Trowa and
took his gun. He didn't try to evade
the shot, just let the Japanese pilot shoot the beam cannon from his hand. Relief flooded him. / Thank you, Heero. /
- Trowa, the Vayaete is about to
explode. Get out now! -
- You're right. This is the end of the line for me. -
/ Tro, where are you going? /
"Trowa?" Quatre was thrown against his harness as Heero's suit grabbed
Zero. "No, Heero. Save Trowa!" He tried to get free, but the additional weight sent him spinning
into the colony. "TROWA!" He couldn't get away. At first, Trowa's words went unnoticed as he
struggled with Heero, and himself. Then
the calm voice penetrated the confusion in his mind.
- …we were completely trained to be
soldiers before we even realized it.
When you put everything into a battle, you start to think that you can
change the times all by yourself, don't you?-
/ Well…/
* Of course you can. *
- But Quatre, you're not the only
one who feels that way. -
/ I'm not? /
- We all do. But the kinder you are, the bigger the toll
it takes on you. -
/ Is that what has happened to me? /
- Turn back to the nice guy I once
knew. I just hope something triggers
your mind and calms you down. -
One more day until I reach
my home…
"Hurry up, Quatre!"
"Duo, those suits will try to shoot us down when we start
to lift off."
"Quatre, hurry up!"
"Don't worry about me. I'll back you two up until you lift off."
"Have you lost
your mind or something?! We all have to
make it up to
space!"
"I know. That's why I have to back you up. To make sure at least you
two make it up to space."
"I'm grateful.
The only way I can show my appreciation is to make it
into space safely." Wufei started the thrusters on his
transport.
"Quatre!!!"
"Uhhh! Please, I can't take this much longer."
And one more mountain I will climb
in the rain…
"And now the last choice open to me is to
self-detonate." Alarms and
flashing lights flooded the
cockpit. Then to Quatre's amazement,
the
cockpit opened. "Uhh?
What's this? Are you, are you
telling me to
get off? Thank you, Sandrock!" As the Gundam moved its shield to
protect its pilot, Quatre
lowered himself to the ground. "I thank
you,
my dear, Sandrock." The pain was catching up with him. He'd been
hurt when Sandrock was
barraged, though he couldn't have let Duo
know or he never would have
left. Not wanting to witness the
destruction of his partner,
Quatre headed for a waiting shuttle.
Even
without a Gundam, he had to
make it to outer space. Maybe then he
could build a new one. As the shuttle left the ground, Sandrock
disappeared in a ball of
flame.
And I will follow all the
sparrows,
in the winter…
Quatre could see the flames from the other
two transports that had taken
off before him. He knew that somewhere, Heero and Trowa were
leaving as well. They had actually managed to do it. Duo and himself
had fought long enough for
the others to catch on. No matter what
happened to him, the others
would be able to continue the fight.
And I will find my way
again,
in the wind.
"Trowa!" His view of space was cut off as Heero pinned Zero against the
wall and the bay doors closed. "Heero! Let me go!
Trowa's gonna die!"
- Yeah, and you're the guy who
killed him. -
/ Allah, what have I done? /
* It doesn't matter. *
"Heero." Quatre caught the red suit's attack with Zero's shield.
- You've gone crazy, omae o korosu.
-
"Well hurry up and kill me, then you
can go rescue Trowa."
- Pretty half-hearted way to go
around fighting. I guess Trowa's death
was just a waste. -
* Well, some sacrifices have to be
made. *
/ NO! No more! /
* But your mission… *
/ Wasn't supposed to be like this! /
Sitting in the cockpit of Zero, Quatre listened as
the concussion of Vayaete's explosion rang though the colony. / What have I done? / Heero's beam sword was just barely parried
by Quatre. The red Gundam's arm
disintegrated under the force of the more powerful Zero. Heero's suit was thrown back, crashing into
the wall. He struggled to rise and
failed.
- Quatre…omae..o..korosu…ahhh… -
"Heero?
Heero!"
Driftin' down the road,
that's so less
traveled…
Quatre leapt from Zero and hastened
to the red Gundam. He hit the hatch
release and waited impatiently for the cockpit to open. He'd just lost Trowa; he wasn't going to
lose the Japanese boy too. To his
relief, Heero didn't seem to be badly injured, only a minor head wound. Quatre cared for him as best he could in the
ruined shell of the colony.
Get's so lonely I don't
know,
where to go…
Quatre fought with his guilt at what
he'd done. Not just for Trowa's death,
though the quiet boy's words eased the pain somewhat. It was the other things he'd done. He had never before been able to kill so easily, without remorse,
without caring. Before, he had always
given his opponents the option of surrender.
What had he become? Only Heero's
presence those first few days, while with the scientists, kept Quatre from
picking up his knife and following Trowa and his father. Especially when the overly critical
scientists started talking about Quatre as if he wasn't even standing next to
them, evaluating his faults as a soldier.
Heero's silent support was all that kept Quatre from breaking down right
then and there. He was so uncertain who
were his allies and who were his enemies, especially when the scientists sold
them out to Trant.
At least he wasn't alone. Zero made Heero lose it a little too. Luckily the Arab was able to stop him before
he was able to do much damage. But it
took all of his concentration and empathy to do so. Space wasn't the haven he had hoped it would be. The Earth had been much kinder to them, they
really had no option but to return there. Maybe there he could pick up the shattered
pieces of his life.
Like the sparrow who
will try, again…
Quatre was relieved when they
reached the Sank Kingdom. He had a
purpose again, defending Relena's fragile and frankly naïve ideals. But that was what he had been fighting for
this whole time, the freedom to have ideals, no matter how foolish they may
seem. After Heero left for Luxembourg,
Quatre received word from Sally Po. He
made the long trek, alone across the desert, to retrieve a lost part of his
soul. His most fantastic dream had come
true, his Sandrock had returned from the dead.
He returned as quickly as he could, but the Sank Kingdom was not so
lucky. Quatre respected Relena's
sacrifice. He knew she wasn't as
air-headed as everyone thought, she knew what might await her at
Romafeller. He honored her decision,
just as he honored the sacrifice of his father and Trowa.
I will learn to fly away,
fly away.
Quatre watched sadly as the Sank
Kingdom fell, his mind wandering. He
had finally accepted what he had done.
He knew it wasn't entirely Wing Zero's fault. The Gundam's system
couldn't change what was in the pilot's mind; only amplify the desires and
feelings it found there. Those had been his wishes, which Zero had twisted into violence. Quatre could accept his actions, but he
couldn't forgive himself for them, not just yet.
"Quatre, will you please come with
me?" Noin seemed resigned, watching
Relena leave with Dorothy.
"Where to?"
"Outer space."
One more day until I reach
my home…
He always felt better in space. He'd been born here, it was his home. No matter how beautiful he found the Earth,
his soul belonged to space. He walked
across the lobby of Winner, Inc. followed by several of his executives. As he spoke with the men, he paused; someone
was sitting, off to one side, facing the window. Quatre thought he recognized that particular shade of chestnut
hair.
"Nice digs." The familiar voice and face of Duo Maxwell
warmed Quatre's heart. "Yo,
Quatre. How ya been?"
"Duo!"
Impulsively Quatre hugged the American pilot. He quickly finished the day's business and invited Duo up to his
suite.
"What an impressive building. Your family's really somethin'. And this is all yours now, right?"
"No, not yet.
My sisters are managing all the assets of the corporation right
now. As far as anyone else knows, I'm
missing."
"Because you're a Gundam pilot? Quatre, where were ya anyway?"
"On the Earth.
I went with Heero to figure out what we should be doing. That's the reason I went." /And to try to deal with my guilt. / Duo pushed away from the window.
"So did ya come up with anything?"
"I think we gotta fight. That's why I came looking for you guys. There are lots of kind people on Earth, Duo. And the same is true for the colonies. I want to help build a world where everyone
can live in peace. I want to protect the
pacifism upheld by the Sank Kingdom."
"Total pacifism?"
His voice was plainly skeptical.
"Do you really think such a world is possible?"
"Duo?"
The American walked over to the wall and leaned
against it. He seemed tired, as if the
last few months were weighing heavily upon him. "I've been fighting for the colonies all this time. They should leave the fighting to me. I should be the only one who has to suffer
as much as I did. But now the colonies
have decided to start up a war. Which
means that a lot more people will end up dying." His voice was bitter, anger and resignation lurking behind the
violet eyes.
And one more mountain I will climb
in the rain…
"Maybe I've lost faith in what we're
fighting for, in the future that we dreamed about. Maybe in the end, peace is just an impossible dream." Defeat etched his beautiful, heart-shaped
face.
When Quatre answered, his voice was
very quiet, heavy with guilt and sadness.
"I made a grave mistake once."
He picked up his rapidly cooling tea, staring into the cup as if to read
their fortunes in the leaves. "I don't
expect to ever be forgiven. But I'll
risk everything to show my remorse. And
I'll do that by fostering my hope for peace.
Because once a dream is lost, then really everything is lost."
"You might be right about that." Duo's voice recovered a bit of its typical
jovial nature. "Although, a dismal
future may be more suitable for Shinigami."
"Duo?"
The braided pilot pushed himself
away from the wall with a yawn. "Well,
Quatre, this place is just a little too high class for me." He headed for the door. "I'll see ya around, Q-kun." He suddenly stopped and then turned back
with a sigh. His expression was again
somber. "If you're really gonna keep
looking for the Gundam pilots I guess you'll see 'what's-his-name'."
"Duo, do you mean?" Quatre leapt to his feet.
And I will follow all the sparrows
in the winter…
Trowa was alive! He had hardly dared to hope, but he was
alive! He hadn't killed him after
all! Duo told him the acrobat suffered
from amnesia, but at least he was alive.
He had to go see him. He trusted
Duo, but he had to see for himself. In
the private shuttle, Quatre had a lot of time to think, to come to terms with
everything that had happened. He felt
like he was finally coming full circle.
At last he allowed himself to mourn.
He'd never cried for his father or for all the soldiers he had killed
while in Zero. Unashamed, he let the
tears fall.
The shuttle docked in due time. Quatre grabbed his bags and walked out in a
daze. He quickly checked into the hotel
in which Irea had made the reservation for him. He asked the desk clerk where the circus was camped. Gathering his courage, Quatre headed for the
circus.
And I will find my way again…
"He's here?" He asked one of the performers where the
animals were kept. Trowa would be
there. Rounding the 'Big Top', Quatre
saw the cages. A lion roared. Quatre looked over and saw a slender figure
kneeling by the cage, speaking with the animal. The boy had long bangs and was still wearing that black
turtleneck of his. It had to be… "TROWA?"
The boy turned and emerald eyes met blue. Tears started to well in Quatre's turquoise eyes. "Trowa, it's really you."
And I will find my way
again.
-sin
sin, tis done-
Poor
Quatre. It really sucks to be him,
doesn't it?
