*DISCLAIMER* No offense to anyone if (I dare say) you live in St. Clair, Missouri. Both my grandparents live there, so it makes it easy to make fun of...The only person I don't own in this story is Snape. As for Jaromir Jagr, well, you get the idea. R/R!
After thinking silently to himself, Severus picked a kid with sandy blonde hair, and one green eye, one blue eye.
"Hi, there little buddy! What's your name?" Severus tried his nice voice, but it didn't seem to work.
The kid stepped on his foot, 'My name is Yannick! Any if you don't like that, you can kiss my..."
"Now, now, we don't need to get...uh...angry. I just need to know how to get a hold of them," He showed Yannick the wanted ad.
Yannick began laughing. "That's easy, just point your wand at your head and say 'syphillis' and you'll be there in an instant!" Severus didn't know whether to trust the little runt or not. Then he realized that he didn't have much to lose, so he pointed his wand at his head.
"Syphillis!" Before he could even open his eyes, to see if he was dead or not, he was in a waiting room by himself.
"Hi. Are you here for the job interview?" An old lady with as Southern Missouri accent asked.
"Sure, why not." The lady led him into a room with fake wood walls and cheap spelling bee thropheys along the walls. There a man, whom looked like he was in his late fifties, sat playing with a Jaromir Jagr action figure (Yes, I do not like him!).
"Howdy! Are you here for the interview?" The man asked.
"Well," Snape replied, "Why else would I be here?"
The man chuckled, "You have a good sense of humor, boy. Are you from around this area?"
He thought for a second, "Sure."
The man looked at him oddly, "Yes, you Denverites are sure something. Woo wee! Anyway, I be Chuck Barnhard. I'm sure you know I own Barnhard's Carnival, and we be located in St. Clair, Missouri."
"What the hell are you doing recruiting in Denver, if you're out of, wherever you said?"
Chuck laughed, "Woo wee! You are going to be one great addition...if you meet the requirements." They sat in silence for a second, and Chuck was expecting a witty remark.
'Damn,' Snape thought to himself. 'Why didn't I go for the Swedish masseuse? Women who get massages don't say woo wee. They say, hot damn Severus my dear, you're getting close. Lower, lower, no, ever lower than that...'
Chuck then broke his thoughts, "Well, let's get on with the interview."
"Haven't we started it already?"
"Boy, don't confuse me. Anyway, question #1, what is your name?"
For a second, he thought of using his real name, but then he realized Americans don't like to enteract with people whom have confusing names, "Kevin Spacey."
"Well, Kevin, what do you consider as your talents?"
For this, Severus had to think as an American again, "Chugging, looking at nude pictues of Jennifer Lopez, scratching my crotch, complaining about Dubya, and yes, watching baseball games on the televi...I mean TV."
Chuck smiled, "You're the most talented man I've talked for 30 years! Okay, #3, what is your age?"
He thought, for a while, on what age he could pass as, and then he didn't care, because it's not like Chuck-o could tell the difference, "10."
"10? My, my, looks like you grew up before the other boys! Haw haw!"
Thinking of a quick comeback, he said, "Plus eight! Yes, I got you there!"
Chuck let out a little laugh, "Yes you did. So, #4, if you could be anything what would you be?"
He wanted to say Swedish masseuse, but he knew better than that, "I would be an on the All-American football team, sir!"
"What position?"
"Uh, quarterback."
"Good, good, you're hired. The season starts next week, our first will be the Franklin County Fair. We'll ride the mobile homes to good 'ole Missouri."
Snape thought to himself, 'God damn, what did you get yourself into now?'
"Uh, sir, before I leave, what position will I be...uh...stationed at?"
Chuck smiled, "You will be in charge of the knock down the milk bottle game."
***
"So, Pooky, did you get the job?" Mrs. Snape asked when he apperated home.
"Unfortunatly, yes. Mummy, I don't think this job is good for me. Do you think it's too late? I want to be a Swedish masseuse."
"Well, Pooky, I'm sure the School Board will get enough money raised soon to get the Potions classes back, and then you can just not show up to work. That's what your fath..."
"Well, goodnight, mummy." He kissed his mom on the cheek, "I'm going to bed, this wil be a long waiting period."
After thinking silently to himself, Severus picked a kid with sandy blonde hair, and one green eye, one blue eye.
"Hi, there little buddy! What's your name?" Severus tried his nice voice, but it didn't seem to work.
The kid stepped on his foot, 'My name is Yannick! Any if you don't like that, you can kiss my..."
"Now, now, we don't need to get...uh...angry. I just need to know how to get a hold of them," He showed Yannick the wanted ad.
Yannick began laughing. "That's easy, just point your wand at your head and say 'syphillis' and you'll be there in an instant!" Severus didn't know whether to trust the little runt or not. Then he realized that he didn't have much to lose, so he pointed his wand at his head.
"Syphillis!" Before he could even open his eyes, to see if he was dead or not, he was in a waiting room by himself.
"Hi. Are you here for the job interview?" An old lady with as Southern Missouri accent asked.
"Sure, why not." The lady led him into a room with fake wood walls and cheap spelling bee thropheys along the walls. There a man, whom looked like he was in his late fifties, sat playing with a Jaromir Jagr action figure (Yes, I do not like him!).
"Howdy! Are you here for the interview?" The man asked.
"Well," Snape replied, "Why else would I be here?"
The man chuckled, "You have a good sense of humor, boy. Are you from around this area?"
He thought for a second, "Sure."
The man looked at him oddly, "Yes, you Denverites are sure something. Woo wee! Anyway, I be Chuck Barnhard. I'm sure you know I own Barnhard's Carnival, and we be located in St. Clair, Missouri."
"What the hell are you doing recruiting in Denver, if you're out of, wherever you said?"
Chuck laughed, "Woo wee! You are going to be one great addition...if you meet the requirements." They sat in silence for a second, and Chuck was expecting a witty remark.
'Damn,' Snape thought to himself. 'Why didn't I go for the Swedish masseuse? Women who get massages don't say woo wee. They say, hot damn Severus my dear, you're getting close. Lower, lower, no, ever lower than that...'
Chuck then broke his thoughts, "Well, let's get on with the interview."
"Haven't we started it already?"
"Boy, don't confuse me. Anyway, question #1, what is your name?"
For a second, he thought of using his real name, but then he realized Americans don't like to enteract with people whom have confusing names, "Kevin Spacey."
"Well, Kevin, what do you consider as your talents?"
For this, Severus had to think as an American again, "Chugging, looking at nude pictues of Jennifer Lopez, scratching my crotch, complaining about Dubya, and yes, watching baseball games on the televi...I mean TV."
Chuck smiled, "You're the most talented man I've talked for 30 years! Okay, #3, what is your age?"
He thought, for a while, on what age he could pass as, and then he didn't care, because it's not like Chuck-o could tell the difference, "10."
"10? My, my, looks like you grew up before the other boys! Haw haw!"
Thinking of a quick comeback, he said, "Plus eight! Yes, I got you there!"
Chuck let out a little laugh, "Yes you did. So, #4, if you could be anything what would you be?"
He wanted to say Swedish masseuse, but he knew better than that, "I would be an on the All-American football team, sir!"
"What position?"
"Uh, quarterback."
"Good, good, you're hired. The season starts next week, our first will be the Franklin County Fair. We'll ride the mobile homes to good 'ole Missouri."
Snape thought to himself, 'God damn, what did you get yourself into now?'
"Uh, sir, before I leave, what position will I be...uh...stationed at?"
Chuck smiled, "You will be in charge of the knock down the milk bottle game."
***
"So, Pooky, did you get the job?" Mrs. Snape asked when he apperated home.
"Unfortunatly, yes. Mummy, I don't think this job is good for me. Do you think it's too late? I want to be a Swedish masseuse."
"Well, Pooky, I'm sure the School Board will get enough money raised soon to get the Potions classes back, and then you can just not show up to work. That's what your fath..."
"Well, goodnight, mummy." He kissed his mom on the cheek, "I'm going to bed, this wil be a long waiting period."