Author

Author's Note: Buttercup became a criminal because of... yet another cliffhanger and a plot twist! -maniacal laughter- So... you return. To read the next chapter. -ducks into a room.. pumps fist- Yes!! Readers... Oh, and mail me if you'd like, too! I'm not too sure how they run court-things and stuff, so drop a note if I have any glaring errors. Thanks to Sniper for helping with some terms. By the way, it's not too long either. I'm too tired...

Maybe I'm Twisted, 2
by "Twisted" Rey

Chapter 5 - Mercy
"I seen a miracle today, bloody bright and bloody gay, and suddenly the sun's shining..."

I was tired, so very, very tired. And did I mention tired? I couldn't remember - with this memory - where else a job I've done has gone tits-up like this. Sure, the armed arrest team was there, but they definitely weren't fast enough. And now, after just one hour of sleep, I was about to turn up in court with bags under my red eyes, like an oversized bloodhound with a cowlick. Great.

I knew, blearily, someone was speaking, and I was also aware that, at the same time that voice was bitterly angry, it seemed distressed at the same time. Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me again?

"..and so," said... well, someone, I wasn't paying attention, "we have no other choice than to come to the conclusion that the defendant..." He paused, "Buttercup Utonium... is guilty of all aforementioned crimes."

I yawned, putting my head down on the table while trying not to look too tired. Yeah, right. Like no one had noticed yet. The judge rapped her gavel on the table to shush the muffled gasps from around the courtroom. I wasn't too sure myself why I had to be present, but I expected they simply wanted someone on hand who could keep Buttercup under control should she decide to attack.

The defense lawyer - Wotsisname, I can't remember... - nudged me in the side imperceptibly. I jerked upright, eyes wide, uncomprehending. He only smiled at me and strolled out onto the floor to do his thing.

"People of the court," he began, and I tuned out. I'd already heard their 'strategy', they were going to argue the case for Buttercup about Buttercup, not about 'Phil'. Buttercup sat beside me impassively, watching her lawyer.

I suppose I really had tuned him out, because when I next heard him, he was already wrapping up his speech. With a few discreet glances around, I noticed several people holding handkerchiefs to their eyes. I made a mental note about this lawyer - Speaks to the people; convincing - and filed it away under "Useful acquaintances".

As the lawyer retook his seat next to me, he gave me yet another smile and - could that be a wink? He's creepy, I noted as well.

The judge 'tapped' the gavel again, making the name plaque labeled "Kendra McKinley" shake visibly. Was it already time for... for... the verdict? I glanced at my watch. Two PM. I'd spent four hours in here?

"Jury?" She said, glancing to her left. The people gathered there nodded, and one man in the small crowd stood up. His face was grim, and it was clear from that expression what he would say.

"We find the defendant, Buttercup Utonium, guilty."

More gasps and head-shaking earned a stern look from the judge. I blinked around, and suddenly stood up, like a creature possessed.

"Your Honor, may I propose a solution?"

She turned that dour look on me, and I felt myself shake. But she sighed, and waved a hand for me to continue.

"If I may - I offer my own home for the defendant to live in. For - for rehabilitation. Is..."

The judge slowly raised an eyebrow, and I could feel the tension in the court mount rapidly. I checked my collar, keeping my expression as straight as I could. She continued staring at me, and I unconsciously shimmied downwards, back towards my seat.

Whapping that gavel on her desk once more, just for good measure, she scowled. "The defendant is found guilty."

I could hear the prosecution "team" behind us give a collective mutter of approval. The judge's frown slowly crinkled into a slightly ironic smile, though, as she set the gavel down gently. "And I fine the defendant..." she began, and the court held its breath.

"Twenty-three cents."

I was quite sure I heard a few jaws hit the ground. Several people in the crowd actually began weeping. Buttercup, beside me, allowed only an acerbic smile.

The judge glanced at her watch. "Well, seeing as it's Friday the thirteenth, anything can happen. So you have a fun time at that guy's house, Ms. Utonium."

Now Buttercup's jaw dropped in amazement. The judge - Ms. McKinley, God bless her - got off her chair and slowly moved out of the courtroom, in front of a stunned team of prosecuting lawyers, and was immediately swarmed by reporters. While Buttercup's lawyer celebrated with his lawyer buddies, I looked over at her, while attempting to pick some courtroom grit out of my right eye.

"Well?" I questioned, waiting.

She turned her head, her expression inane... and she hugged me tightly.

"Home we go, then," I said, starting up the car, as Buttercup tugged the seatbelt over herself in the passenger's seat. "Or would you like me to pick up some of your favorite chow on the way home?"

She was silent for a while, staring out the window as we turned out of the parking lot, speaking only when I glanced at her to make sure everything was all right. "Actually, Lucky Captain Rabbit King cereal sounds good... right about now. With milk."

"I didn't have breakfast myself, you know," I chuckled. "It's been a long time since I've had that. I quite miss it, really..."

"Yeah." She paused, carefully throwing a sly sidelong glance at me. "I've missed you... Butch."

"Yeah, me too, Buttercup." I smiled, reaching to turn up the radio. This life didn't seem so bad, after all...

Laughing and laden with paper bags, we burst through the door into the living room, towards the kitchen. Buttercup dumped her bags on the "island" table in the middle of my kitchen, and I carefully laid mine next to hers.

"I thought we were buying cereal," I said accusingly, as I began to unpack. She just laughed again, heading back to lock the front door. As I pushed the impossible amount of food we had just bought into the fridge and the cupboards, she folded the paper bags neatly and shoved them in a drawer, still chuckling.

"I didn't mean to go mad," She said, carefully folding the last paper bag up. "It's just that it's been a long time since I've been in a supermarket..."

"Yeah, well." I ran a hand back through my hair, a smile still present on my face. "Well, come on. We've got to get you set up in a room. You want to sleep in my room, or have your own -"

"My own room," she said quickly. Again, I grinned, turning and strolling out of the kitchen towards the closet under the stairs.

"I can deal with that," I said, opening the closet and kneeling down. After a bit of digging around, with Buttercup staring over my shoulder curiously, I came up with a few spare pillows and a thick quilt, surprisingly not as dusty as I thought it would be. Taking the pillows, and letting Buttercup carry her own quilt, we stumbled up the stairs blindly towards the "guest" room next to mine.

The guest room was clean, but not fancy, with just a simple bed and a nightstand next to that, with a closet built into the wall. Noticing Buttercup's obvious lack of experience at making beds, I helped her, and was quite surprised to find that I was rather good at it. Maybe all that time living alone...

As we finished neatening the quilt on the bed, a thought struck me suddenly: What about her clothes? I scratched the side of my head, looking up at her. She glanced back inquiringly.

"Buttercup..."

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering... do you have any clothes with you?"

She gave me an evil smirk then, and a coy wink. "No, actually..."

"Well," I said hastily, "you can have some of mine. Big shirts, that kind of thing..." Buttercup pouted, putting her hands on her hips, and just then I noticed how familiar she was beginning to look.

"Ruin my fun, will you?" She leaped over the bed, very athletically, and managed to get me in the stomach with both her legs. I fell over with a wheeze, and she landed on top of me. Drawing in as much air as I could, I began laughing, and soon she joined me. The pair of us were practically falling over each other, giggling over something silly.

And at that moment, I realized how much I missed her. How much I missed everyone. How lonely it was in this house, all by myself... Independent... Well, that was going to change now, with Buttercup around. I was going to fix this place, fix this life the best I could. I didn't want to go back, I knew. I liked this place too much.

He is attached to this world.

I know.

Is that... is that good?

Not quite.

Is this the loss?

Yes.

Rey: Ha ha. Bet you didn't see that coming... "See what coming?" ... oh, never mind ... review!