Chapter 10

Swept away

That night Cecil slept little. They had settled in a little niche near to the top of the mountain as the night had broken in. Dawn slept peacefully, curled beside Cecil, who had carefully moved away from her, as she was asleep. He needed some time to think...

Dawn fascinated him, as well as she amazed him.

"Since the time I've met her, I've been feeling much better- she makes me feel so calm... I seem to forget everything when I am talking with her..."

He looked at the peaceful but serious expressions in her face. On could barely hear her breathing between her half closed lips...

"Her kiss..." Cecil felt himself blush again, feeling suddenly very foolish. "Just a little kiss and you get all over excited! It's not as if you hadn't kissed before" he scolded himself... "Still it had felt so strange... So good..."

He closed his eyes and remembered the soft hair, the scent - everything seemed to remind him of... Rosa!" Cecil's eyes flashed open as a wave of guilt swept over him. He suddenly realized that he hadn't thought of his wife for quiet a while now... To be exact she hadn't come to his mind for nearly two days, which was a very long time for someone you normally thought of every free minute.

"I wonder if she is missing me... Probably not... After all, Kain's there…" he thought grimly, but then felt the sting of guilt again. "But I am not better..." He looked at Dawn, who felt obviously cold, as she rolled over to his side. Although, he wasn't really pleased with that at the moment, Cecil decided not to wake her, and put his arm around her shoulder again. Again, he felt how calmness flowed through him, and he started to get sleepy again.

"Just like yesterday... What is just happening to me?. Why does it feel so good when I am with he?. I love Rosa - no matter what... It couldn't be that I..."

For a moment his calmness was washed away again by a feeling of despair -- and fear.

He looked at the towering white moon in the black sky above him.

"Was everything I believed in and held up high wrong? What has happened to my inner strength... Why am I doubting so much? I have loved Rosa since I could think of and even the touch of HER leaves me wondering what I REALLY feel..." He felt like he had felt then, back as a Black knight as he hadn't known what to do, what was right or wrong, running away from things until that fateful day in Mist. He had thought that he had gotten over it all and now...

"Maybe the wizards were right - I am no Paladin at all..."

Sleep send his troubled mind to rest- before he passed out, he tried to shape Rosa before his eyes, but Dawn's presence seemed to hinder everything...

~*~

The next morning, Cecil felt terribly.

Dawn was a bit concerned about his health, but Cecil assured her that everything was right.

"Why can't I tell her the truth?"

"Today we should reach the peak, I guess," Dawn informed him. " We don't know what we will find. Are you sure you are all right? It could become dangerous."

"Do not worry about me..." Cecil replied. " I just did not sleep well..."

"I am sorry for that. I've slept very well...Thanks for staying by my side!" Watching her smile made Cecil even more dizzy. Before he was able to answer she was already on her way up- her frail figure nearly disappearing against the towering masses of rock of the mountain.

This time Dawn was chatting eagerly, telling Cecil about dangers in the woods and the increasing monsters. Cecil trotted beside her, asking a question now but otherwise stayed silent. He wasn't in the mood for talking.

"How can she behave so "normal"? And why do I behave so strange? I wish that I could think clearly."

"Are you really alright?" As she got no response, Dawn came to an immediate halt. "Cecil- let me ask you a question..."

"Now she will ask me of Rosa -- I am sure. If she knows that I am married..."

"Yeah, sure..." he replied.

"Cecil, what do you wish to find on the mountaintop?"

"What- what I WISH to find?" The question sounded illogical to Cecil, though he was glad that she hadn't asked something even more -- private. "You can't wish what should happen..."

"I... I guess I want to find the cause of the recent disturbances..."

"No, I mean what do you really WISH to find... You, for yourself..."

Cecil was trying to remember everything that was dear to him... His home, his friends -- and his wife, but the thoughts seemed to swirl around in his head...

"I... I guess I don't know what to answer..."

"I see..." Dawn whispered softly.

Cecil's head started to hurt and he reached with his hand for his forehead. Dawn got there first... The pain ceased at once due to her touch, but the thoughts of the paladin seemed to become even more foggy...

"Dawn... Please don't..." the paladin's voice trailed of as his travel companion stared at him, nearly motionless. "These eyes - one can lose himself in their gaze…"

For a moment he felt as if everything was drained out of him, his thoughts, his emotions and his doubts, leaving only an empty space inside of him... The feeling was gone after an instant.

"What has happened just now?" At least his thoughts were a bit more clear now...

"Dawn, what did you do?"

The young woman still was staring blankly at him, as if being in trance... Suddenly her long eyelashes started to move again. "Hmm- sorry, I was thinking. Don't worry. I wasn't sure till now but now I know- everything will be alright... Let's go!"

"Dawn, wait - I don't understand. What will be alright?" Cecil asked, a slight angry tone in his voice. Instead of a response, the paladin got only a dazzling smile, which made his anger vanish at once... Still he knew that he had to "do" something soon...