Who tells the truth and the lies?
By SW
** Angst short*
It had been raining that night, on my way home I found him. A pile of useless limbs and soaked clothes, I'm not sure why I stopped. But for reasons ever I didn't know, I did stop. One unfocused eye peered at me through the soaked hair that clung to his face. I was pretty sure it was a guy at least, he wasn't even really looking at me. But what really got me was the pure raw pain that lay in those eyes, not physical pain but heart wrenching anguish. And then I did something completely out of character, I picked him up and carried him back to my place. I'm still not completely sure why I did, but the rest is history.
Even after we joined up with the monk and the kid, he was still devoted to me. Damned if I know why, what because I defended him? His motives were never clear, Hakkai a walking enigma.
He waits up for me, waiting for me to come home. Ever when I come in at 4 on the morning reeking of alcohol and sex he'll be sitting there waiting. He's the one that cleans me up when I'm too drunk to walk, he's the one that patches me up when I get my ass kicked in a brawl. No matter what happens to me or what I do to my self he's always there. Ever faithful, he fusses over me like I'm made of glass sometimes, am I?
Sitting alone at the table, a single lamp on. Leaving the rest of the room shrouded in darkness, except for that one pinpoint of light. He laid his head on his arms willing himself to stay awake, it wasn't really that late. Only 12, he was just tired. Tired of many things, but at the moment physically so. Goku and Sanzo were already asleep.
The sound of a door closing, jarred him fully awake. The familiar figure walking into the room, in a casual manner that came naturally to the man. Bringing his hand up in greeting. "Yo" The red haired man sliding into the seat across from Hakkai. "Your back early." The brunette murmured sleepily. "I didn't wanna keep yah up to long." Came the slightly drunken answer, smiling at the other man.
One eyebrow was raised, looking at the crimsoned haired man. "Oh?" Gojyo grinned leaning on his elbow. "Yeah, you worr'y to mu'ch." Hakkai smiled quietly, staring at his hands. Examining them carefully, like there was something there that no one else could see. "No, I don't. I just couldn't sleep…" Was the low murmur that greeted the half-breeds ears. Turning he rose to his feet and began to leave.
It was a sad excuse, they both knew that. So why say anything? Let the other leave with out another word, so he could retreat into the depths of his room once more. Wasn't that how it worked each night? Hakkai would help him to bed, then Hakkai would leave. Not a single word or mention would come up during the day though. That's how it worked, let the man appease his own conscious and leave it alone.
Maybe there was a full moon tonight….Full moons made people do and say foolish things. At least that was the old wives tail.
"No….No tha'ts not true. You were waitin' up for me…." The half-breeds head rolled slightly as he let it hang, a small bitter smile playing across his lips. The brunette jerked for a moment, freezing in mid step. Silently willing his friend to let the subject drop, they never spoke of it. That was their unsaid agreement, he knew that.
"Every ti'me I go out, you're alwa'ys waitin' for me….Why?" Alcohol fogged eyes looked up to meet the others one good eye. The question hung between them like a rope, slowly being pulled until it became taunt. An uneasy smile lifted the brunette's lips, he hated that smile. "Why?" His voice came out unsteady, no don't slip. Vainly he searched for means of escape, some way of backing out of the room. Some things were meant to be left buried, especially things that could ruin a relationship. He didn't want things to change, not yet anyway. It was safer this way, was safer the same as happy though? Or was safer a cover? Something that allowed them to smile, even If those smiles were fake what did it matter?
"Naze?!" Abruptly Gojyo lunged across the table grabbing Hakkai's arm, pulling the yokkai part way across the table. "Naze?!" Hakkai remained silent biting his lower lip, willing the half-breed to let go. "Tell me damn it!!" Gojyo clambered to his feet, pressing closer. Demanding an answer, forcing Hakkai back as he twisted the others arm. "NAZE?!" There was a crash as the brunette's chair fell backwards, sprawling the yokkai onto the wooden boards. His arm still being twisted painfully, Gojyo was kneeling over him. "NAZE?!" Came the hoarse demand, gritting his teeth he refused to answer. "Naze?????? Damn it! Naze?!?!" The half breed had never looked so dangerous before, or so unstable. "I….I…" The yokkai struggled for words, slowly breaking under those harsh red eyes. "Hakkai I'm hungry"
The quite voice jerked both men out of their staring contest, two heads swilling toward the hallway. Where a sleep rumpled Goku stood, staring at them quietly. Gojyo pulled Hakkai to his feet, using the same arm that he had been close to breaking moments before. The red head stood once more, avoiding the green eyes that sought his. " I'm heading off to bed." Brushing past the younger boy, who still remained quite. Hakkai smiled weakly at the younger demon, those gold eyes stared at him. "Hai Goku! Come on I'll fix a snack for you ok?" Walking into the kitchen, bare feet whispering over the floorboards.
Gojyo flung his shirt across the room, and toed off his boots. Sinking into the bed, exhaustion taking over. What had just happened? Why did he do that? To Hakkai of all people….Because he wanted answers. But what would have happened if Hakkai did answer? Did he want to know? Did he really want things to change? …………No…… The half-breed let his head fall back into the pillow. Closing his eyes, slowly drifting into a dreamless sleep.
Hakkai pulled the door to Goku's room close, quietly moving down the hallway. Pushing open the door to Gojyo's room, looking about nervously. The sound of the half breeds even breathing falling upon his ears, assuring him that his friend was asleep already. Walking to the bed he pulled the blanket around the other man, stepping back. Taking a brief moment to watch the serene face, which was laying in a halo of flame licked hair. Wordlessly he left, leaving the other too his dreams.
Laying back in his own bed he settled himself. Green eyes staring at the ceiling, sleep creeping over him. Tomorrow, neither would mention the events of tonight. Things would go back to normal, he would wait up once more for Gojyo. Who would be even more sloshed tomorrow. One thing how ever bothered him further, Goku. The child haven't seemed very sleepy at all, how much had the boy heard was beyond him. Unspoken questions lay there, that may never be answered. This was the reality of their little group, and the normality.
We're all fakers.............
His last thoughts before slipping into the passive darkness of his mind.
~Owari
******** Finally! ITS DONE ITS DONE! NYA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA! Thanks to Von-san for helping me end this ongoing short! And thanks for Amirala for the motivation help! I hope ur all happy!
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