November 3, 2000
Dear friend,
This is the second time she has been gone since Alex came; I do not know what to think. Neither one of them will me anything, she called to tell me she would not come home tonight either. I told Alex I did not want the Legacy involved, she promised that it would not be. She herself is having some trouble accepting them in her life; she confessed what I already knew. She has taken Jacqi to Rachel, Rachel is still a member and I am afraid she will want to bring the Legacy in. No I should believe Alex would not lie to me. Oh if there were anything I could do for Jacqi myself. I am afraid of what could happen to her if she cannot help her. On a happier note this morning she came into my room before leaving again, for a moment. I pretended to be resting, she sat down for a moment at the foot of the bed, I wanted to look at her. I could feel her eyes on me, but was afraid that if I looked at her it would frightened her. Instead I waited until she crawled over to me; she laid her head against me. It felt so nice to have her next to me, as it did in Mexico when she came to my room. I wish I could have kept that moment frozen perhaps then what happened wouldn't have, yet if it hadn't she wouldn't know the truth. Would she? I'm rambling, rambling because I'm worried and at the same time I'm happy. Happy that she has come to me, but worried it might be the one and only time she does. As I also worry about her troubles. I will not consume your time in worries, just know that I am deeply happy at this moment dear friend. Perhaps the only thing that could further brighten my life is a sign of lo...no this will be enough.
Barbara C. Rayne