Disclaimer: Well, hope you like this, and this wets your appetite for the WHOLE story. Note, I'm obviously a Non-Yaoi writer, and a person who tends to write sappy stories, so if you don't like this kind of story, then GET OUT NOW!!! Please note that I don't any of the characters, except Nova and the villains. This does have a Sailor Moon crossover in it. Well, here's some more stuff that falls on my plot line.
Author's Note: Well here is the full dirt on Esmeralda and how she ended up where she is now. Please note that I'm not here to encourage people to hate her, but rather to feel sorry for her. Despite her weakness in characters, there are probably people in the world that are down on their luck. So I'm just hoping you don't pity them or despise them. In fact I'm hoping people would just understand that they have it rough too. I will not say that I'm for or against abortion, being that abortion is NOT the main issue in this chapter. It happens to be something acknowledged...
Gundam Wing: Raptures of Paradise
Chapter 22---------- Esmeralda Dancing on the Edge
By Sailor Celaeno
It was another New Year's that came and went for Esmeralda. How many could she have being alone? She couldn't even see her little Liam now. She'd sit alone in front of her mirror letting the sorrows in her heart taunt her endlessly. "What kind of a sniveling little rat are you? You think you're good enough to be Mrs. Quatre Winner? You think you can be a mother to Liam Debinder? What a joke you are Esmeralda! You can talk and dream your little life away, but dreams are that. Just dreams."
"You're going to taunt me again Cat?"
"That's right little dreamer," her sneering other self snided back. "You hope to dream, but your dreams will die..."
"Stop it..... stop it.. please..." Esmeralda backed away from the mirror frightened. She clasped her hands around her ears to try to run away from the incessant tauntings.
"Never little dreamer! You're stuck in your little world pining away for a mirage, but like all mirages, your dreams fade away. How could Quatre ever try to love you when he finds out what you did to Dorothy? My sad little dreamer... You hope to dream, but your dreams will die..."
"STOP IT!!!!" Esmeralda screamed at the mocking reflection. Her anger boiled over as she threw a flower vase at her mirror. The mirror shattered, but even then Esmeralda could swear she could hear Cat laughing. Still laughing and whispering that evil phrase.
"Miss Esmeralda?!!!" a maid ran into her room. "Oh Miss Esmeralda! Something happened miss?"
Esmeralda calmed down enough to be rational. "It's nothing. I... I saw a spider on my mirror. And I threw my vase to kill it. It seems I overdid Lina. Please have the mirror replaced tomorrow."
"Yes Miss," the girl curtseyed as she left the room. She quickly went down the stairs as Mr. Debinder appeared at the bottom of the staircase.
"What was that horrid noise upstairs, Lina?"
"It was only the Miss. She saw a spider and threw something to kill it, but she broke her mirror."
"I see," Debinder said slowly. It was clear to anyone except Lina, that he didn't believe for a second that a spider was the reason for that chaotic noise. "Well, I shall have a talk with Miss Esmeralda."
"Yes Sir." Lina walked away, not knowing the reality of Esmeralda's situation. But then, most of the staff knew nothing. Everytime something suspicious occurred, most of the servants were dismissed. All except, Mrs. Thora, who was a trustworthy woman that had been Esmeralda and Houston's nurse since they were both babies. It was a shame to see how Miss Esmeralda turned out, in Mrs. Thora's eyes.
Debinder made his way to his daughter's room. He was clearly irritated at this latest fit of Esmeralda's. He saw Esmeralda franticly cleaning after herself. He just had enough. "Esmeralda!"
Esmeralda bolted up as she stared at her father fearfully. "Yes, Papa."
"Another fit? This is the third time this week. How many more childish fits will you have, hm? I'm sure the world will love to know that Miss Esmeralda Debinder, one of the most beautiful and eligible debutantes in the Earth Sphere, is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Do you have any idea what a great detriment you are? You and these wild antics?"
"Yes of course," she replied nervously.
"Listen here my dear lady. I have no intention of caring for and coddling after a half-wit daughter! You could have been a great businesswoman, but you had to throw that all away for one night of idiocy and selfish behavior! I have no intention of letting you go by the rest of your life away idly. You are going to make a greater name for this family. Alan Weatherton has shown an interest in you. You may actually have a husband, and maybe still give Liam a decent future. After all, if Alan is willing to adopt the boy when you and he are married, you won't live so shamefully."
Esmeralda frowned slightly, but still replied, "I will Papa."
"You'd only be selfish if you ruined Houston's chances." With that, Debinder left his daughter alone to wallow in her miserable degradation.
"Damn you Father! All my life I have done nothing, but tried to please you. But I see that it is also a foolish dream. It was a foolish idea to do things to please others. I see that nothing I do will satisfy you, except to sell myself to someone I don't love, and to give up my happiness."
A.C.192
Alexandra was in labor. It was struggle for her to have children. She had Houston in A.C. 175. However, she had been on Earth during her pregnancy and labor. They now lived in space. Two failed attempts at pregnancy frustrated her. She was determined to have another baby, but now she was going to pay for it. She was foolish to try a natural birth, but she had no intention of letting her baby grow up thinking it was a creation in a lab. The pregnancy was a long and hard struggle, but at only 7 months, the baby was going to be born. Esmeralda Debinder was weak and nearly died because she was sickly. Alexandra cried miserably until she died. She died three months after Esmeralda's birth. Debinder was never a very affectionate man, but Alexandra reminded him to be more kind-hearted around people. Without that reminder he was cold towards his two only children. They grew up hardly seeing him, except when he wanted them to show off the illusion of a happy and perfect family that was surviving the loss of Alexandra Alamane Debinder.
"When will papa be home?" asked little Esmeralda.
Mrs. Thora couldn't help, but pity the little girl. Mrs. Thora knew her employer well enough to know that he had only light interest in his children. Only when they did something truly grand, or a great shame, was when he paid even two minutes attention to them. Houston was 17, and was as detached from family as his father. Although, he was worried about Esmeralda for the sake of being her elder brother, and general pity towards her. She was still hoping that their father would give her notice beyond the simple nod of acknowledgement when he saw her.
The sad truth was that Houston and Mrs. Thora noticed how much Esmeralda was like her mother. Debinder had little to say to Esmeralda, but was more active with Houston. Houston was healthy, bright, and had strong potential for greatness. Esmeralda was pretty and kindly as Alexandra, but she was more sickly due to her premature birth, and the troubled pregnancy. Debinder was detached from her because he knew she was doomed to die young.
However being a young woman, she realized that she would find no love from her father. However there were boys that seemed to love her. There was that sweet boy that was her playmate seemed to love her. Perhaps not romantically, but he cared a great deal about her. She loved him, but only as a little brother. He was too adorable for her to love him so much. Andrew Meron, three years older than her seemed to love her. However she realized the mistake she made.
"So... you were seeing an older boy? You should know how inappropriate it is for a girl your age to be with a boy that is almost old enough to be a man. I forbid you to see him!"
"It's just as well Papa... there's something else..."
"Don't tell me..."
"We got drunk and well... I'm pregnant..."
Debinder didn't appear angry, rather he became calculating in his countenance. "How long ago was this?"
"Five weeks ago..."
"We can still cover this up... we can find a discrete physician... who can handle this situation..."
"I have NO intention of giving up this baby! Despite the fact that I'm only 14... I couldn't bring myself to do that to my child."
"So you love the disgraceful hooligan that got you into this mess?" Debinder said with a subtle anger.
"Andrew doesn't matter nor does he care what happens. I'm keeping this baby, because I don't want it to die. I love this baby, that is mine! It will be my child and I can't hate something that is part of me. A child should never spend its life thinking that it's unloved ." She stared at her father with fiery determination that made her more alive than she ever was before.
Debinder stared back at the girl. He had nothing else that he could say that would stop her. He wanted to wash his hands of the whole business as quickly as possible. "If you insist on keeping this... child... than you must agree to certain terms. Firstly, you will go Earth and live in a hospice. Delilah Lenning is a discrete cousin and she can watch for you. Once you have the child, then you will go to school."
8 months later......
Esmeralda was suffering greatly. She was in labor and she couldn't tell what was going on anymore. She had found herself feeling empty and lonelier than she'd ever felt in her life. Her baby was coming and she was terribly helpless. She wasn't even 15, and hear she was, in the maternity ward of the hospice. When it was all over, she could hardly believe the truth. Here in her arms was a little person, her son. She named him Liam after her grandfather, her benefactor when she became 21. "Oh Liam... you are so beautiful. I will never forget how you looked at me when you were here in my arms." Esmeralda pitifully. "May you never know the terrible truth about your circumstances. I must leave you as though you were a shameful sight. You will be away from your mother and when you see her again, you may not even know who she is..."
It was a simple truth. She would spend the next three years at school. She probably wouldn't spend more than six months with her own child. "Perhaps he will not know me." She kept the thought in her head.
"So sad for you... a young girl without hope to be able to be with her child. And a family that could care less about what happened to you or your baby," a voice said.
"Who are you?!" Esmeralda asked fearfully.
"Just someone who knows too well about what happens when life gives you a bad hand. I can assure you that when that happens, you have only yourself to count on. Don't just sit and pray that someone will save. Because you know what? No one will. It's a bitter truth. No one would lift a finger to help because you're just another nobody in a sea of nobodies."
Liam cried at the sound. "How could someone your age say that? Don't you have hopes and dreams?" Esmeralda said fearfully. Those pessimistic words frightened her a thousand times more than her father's words ever could.
The girl simply stared back. "After what you've been through, and what will happen to you... you can still believe in dreams and miracles?"
"It's all I have to hold me together. It's those hopes and dreams that give me a reason to live, and something to work for. My dream is to be happy with my son. I will do anything to be able to do that. How can you give up on dreams? You're no older than me!"
"I have lost my dreams three years ago. But I can't help but pity you. You still have your dreams, and I only hope you can be fortunate enough to get your dreams fulfilled."
"Why?" Esmeralda asked fearfully.
"I don't see much of a future for you."
"What??!! How can there be no future for me? Everyone has a future. That's what there is to live for. The hope that something good will come because you work hard to achieve your goals!"
"I was born with a power. A power to hear people's thoughts, and see their future. I see that your future has nothing but misery and emptiness." The girl stared into a mirror in her hands.
"What? What is that?"
"This is a special mirror. When you look at it, you will see the truth. The truth of who you are. The truth of what your future will be."
"May I look Miss---"
"Just call me Avatar." Avatar handed Esmeralda the mirror.
Esmeralda peered into the mirror and saw a weather-beaten version of herself staring back with lonely eyes, and tears pouring from her eyes. "This can't be! I'm going to be so lonely?"
Avatar peered into the mirror. "You don't have to be." The mirror image morphed and Esmeralda in fancy clothes, with a husband and a boy that was an older Liam could be seen. "You can have that, only if you are willing to grasp the opportunity that lays before you."
"What opportunity?"
"I know someone who can give you power with that power you can do whatever you want."
"What can I do?" Esmeralda stared into the mirror at the image of her being happy with a family.
"Just look again." With that Esmeralda stared into the mirror. The eyes that stared back at her weren't hers anymore. They were catlike in their fire and passion. "Welcome my dear Cat."
January, A.C. 198
"Quatre! I came to see you. I'm terribly sorry about what happened to Dorothy" Esmeralda said tenderly.
"The doctors say that she had serious energy drain. She's unconscious. She could be like this for weeks. All I can do is wait and hope she'll wake up soon," Quatre said quietly as he sat by her bed.
"You know I will be here. We have each other. I'll do whatever I can."
"Thanks. I know you will."
Esmeralda was at the hospital for 30 minutes and then left. She stared into a mirror and saw Cat, the darker side of her staring back. "I wish I didn't do that to Dorothy."
"Why should you feel sorry for her?"
"Stealing her energy and putting her in a coma is your idea, not mine!"
"And how else do you think you're going to get what you want? Just wait? That's what got you into trouble to begin with. You have to take action into your own hands. Nothing comes from just letting someone else take what you want!"
"But I'm hurting Quatre. He has feelings for her and it's wrong to do that to him, and especially her. She never did anything to me."
"How can you be so foolish? Are you willing to throw away your chance at finding love and the peace you want? Quatre is that guy that can give you that. Why should you let someone else take your Mr. Right?"
"Because I threw away his love years ago. He cared a great deal, even though we were only children. But he still held me dearly in his heart and I threw that away because I was too foolish to see that he was the real thing. His compassion didn't come with conditions. He meant everything he said. How can I just crawl back into his life hoping he'll love me?"
"How will you find happiness? Just hope for someone else to come along. We both know that the special person comes only once and you're going to give that up. And for what? For honor? For pride? For shame? All you've ever done your whole life was do what others wanted. Why can't you do what pleases you for once? You live only once. Live as best as you can girlfriend..."
Esmeralda just kept staring at herself. "How can I let Cat always win? I will destroy my life and the life of Quatre?"
"You are a fool! How can you give up something that is within your grasp?"
"Because if I take it, then how can I ever live with myself ever again? I'd rather die in ever lasting torment than to live knowing how I sold out to my darkest nature. To destroy what I value the most in the world! I cannot be greedy and ruin the lives of people just because I have a selfish whim. That's what you don't understand Cat. All you can see is the inner desires of human nature. But there is more than just desire in human nature. There is compassion, and there is love. Real love for other people and what you can do for them. What other reward can I ask for than the kind words of someone that cares about me. If I take Quatre's love away from Dorothy, it would be false love. I'd be as empty as you are. I'd never know if his love was real anymore."
"Then how can you ever ask for it now? You've already done the damage."
Esmeralda fell to her feet. "I know.... how can I?"
What happens now? The story continues when the Raptures make an ultimate strike. All this and more in Chapter 23!
Author's Note: Well here is the full dirt on Esmeralda and how she ended up where she is now. Please note that I'm not here to encourage people to hate her, but rather to feel sorry for her. Despite her weakness in characters, there are probably people in the world that are down on their luck. So I'm just hoping you don't pity them or despise them. In fact I'm hoping people would just understand that they have it rough too. I will not say that I'm for or against abortion, being that abortion is NOT the main issue in this chapter. It happens to be something acknowledged...
Gundam Wing: Raptures of Paradise
Chapter 22---------- Esmeralda Dancing on the Edge
By Sailor Celaeno
It was another New Year's that came and went for Esmeralda. How many could she have being alone? She couldn't even see her little Liam now. She'd sit alone in front of her mirror letting the sorrows in her heart taunt her endlessly. "What kind of a sniveling little rat are you? You think you're good enough to be Mrs. Quatre Winner? You think you can be a mother to Liam Debinder? What a joke you are Esmeralda! You can talk and dream your little life away, but dreams are that. Just dreams."
"You're going to taunt me again Cat?"
"That's right little dreamer," her sneering other self snided back. "You hope to dream, but your dreams will die..."
"Stop it..... stop it.. please..." Esmeralda backed away from the mirror frightened. She clasped her hands around her ears to try to run away from the incessant tauntings.
"Never little dreamer! You're stuck in your little world pining away for a mirage, but like all mirages, your dreams fade away. How could Quatre ever try to love you when he finds out what you did to Dorothy? My sad little dreamer... You hope to dream, but your dreams will die..."
"STOP IT!!!!" Esmeralda screamed at the mocking reflection. Her anger boiled over as she threw a flower vase at her mirror. The mirror shattered, but even then Esmeralda could swear she could hear Cat laughing. Still laughing and whispering that evil phrase.
"Miss Esmeralda?!!!" a maid ran into her room. "Oh Miss Esmeralda! Something happened miss?"
Esmeralda calmed down enough to be rational. "It's nothing. I... I saw a spider on my mirror. And I threw my vase to kill it. It seems I overdid Lina. Please have the mirror replaced tomorrow."
"Yes Miss," the girl curtseyed as she left the room. She quickly went down the stairs as Mr. Debinder appeared at the bottom of the staircase.
"What was that horrid noise upstairs, Lina?"
"It was only the Miss. She saw a spider and threw something to kill it, but she broke her mirror."
"I see," Debinder said slowly. It was clear to anyone except Lina, that he didn't believe for a second that a spider was the reason for that chaotic noise. "Well, I shall have a talk with Miss Esmeralda."
"Yes Sir." Lina walked away, not knowing the reality of Esmeralda's situation. But then, most of the staff knew nothing. Everytime something suspicious occurred, most of the servants were dismissed. All except, Mrs. Thora, who was a trustworthy woman that had been Esmeralda and Houston's nurse since they were both babies. It was a shame to see how Miss Esmeralda turned out, in Mrs. Thora's eyes.
Debinder made his way to his daughter's room. He was clearly irritated at this latest fit of Esmeralda's. He saw Esmeralda franticly cleaning after herself. He just had enough. "Esmeralda!"
Esmeralda bolted up as she stared at her father fearfully. "Yes, Papa."
"Another fit? This is the third time this week. How many more childish fits will you have, hm? I'm sure the world will love to know that Miss Esmeralda Debinder, one of the most beautiful and eligible debutantes in the Earth Sphere, is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Do you have any idea what a great detriment you are? You and these wild antics?"
"Yes of course," she replied nervously.
"Listen here my dear lady. I have no intention of caring for and coddling after a half-wit daughter! You could have been a great businesswoman, but you had to throw that all away for one night of idiocy and selfish behavior! I have no intention of letting you go by the rest of your life away idly. You are going to make a greater name for this family. Alan Weatherton has shown an interest in you. You may actually have a husband, and maybe still give Liam a decent future. After all, if Alan is willing to adopt the boy when you and he are married, you won't live so shamefully."
Esmeralda frowned slightly, but still replied, "I will Papa."
"You'd only be selfish if you ruined Houston's chances." With that, Debinder left his daughter alone to wallow in her miserable degradation.
"Damn you Father! All my life I have done nothing, but tried to please you. But I see that it is also a foolish dream. It was a foolish idea to do things to please others. I see that nothing I do will satisfy you, except to sell myself to someone I don't love, and to give up my happiness."
A.C.192
Alexandra was in labor. It was struggle for her to have children. She had Houston in A.C. 175. However, she had been on Earth during her pregnancy and labor. They now lived in space. Two failed attempts at pregnancy frustrated her. She was determined to have another baby, but now she was going to pay for it. She was foolish to try a natural birth, but she had no intention of letting her baby grow up thinking it was a creation in a lab. The pregnancy was a long and hard struggle, but at only 7 months, the baby was going to be born. Esmeralda Debinder was weak and nearly died because she was sickly. Alexandra cried miserably until she died. She died three months after Esmeralda's birth. Debinder was never a very affectionate man, but Alexandra reminded him to be more kind-hearted around people. Without that reminder he was cold towards his two only children. They grew up hardly seeing him, except when he wanted them to show off the illusion of a happy and perfect family that was surviving the loss of Alexandra Alamane Debinder.
"When will papa be home?" asked little Esmeralda.
Mrs. Thora couldn't help, but pity the little girl. Mrs. Thora knew her employer well enough to know that he had only light interest in his children. Only when they did something truly grand, or a great shame, was when he paid even two minutes attention to them. Houston was 17, and was as detached from family as his father. Although, he was worried about Esmeralda for the sake of being her elder brother, and general pity towards her. She was still hoping that their father would give her notice beyond the simple nod of acknowledgement when he saw her.
The sad truth was that Houston and Mrs. Thora noticed how much Esmeralda was like her mother. Debinder had little to say to Esmeralda, but was more active with Houston. Houston was healthy, bright, and had strong potential for greatness. Esmeralda was pretty and kindly as Alexandra, but she was more sickly due to her premature birth, and the troubled pregnancy. Debinder was detached from her because he knew she was doomed to die young.
However being a young woman, she realized that she would find no love from her father. However there were boys that seemed to love her. There was that sweet boy that was her playmate seemed to love her. Perhaps not romantically, but he cared a great deal about her. She loved him, but only as a little brother. He was too adorable for her to love him so much. Andrew Meron, three years older than her seemed to love her. However she realized the mistake she made.
"So... you were seeing an older boy? You should know how inappropriate it is for a girl your age to be with a boy that is almost old enough to be a man. I forbid you to see him!"
"It's just as well Papa... there's something else..."
"Don't tell me..."
"We got drunk and well... I'm pregnant..."
Debinder didn't appear angry, rather he became calculating in his countenance. "How long ago was this?"
"Five weeks ago..."
"We can still cover this up... we can find a discrete physician... who can handle this situation..."
"I have NO intention of giving up this baby! Despite the fact that I'm only 14... I couldn't bring myself to do that to my child."
"So you love the disgraceful hooligan that got you into this mess?" Debinder said with a subtle anger.
"Andrew doesn't matter nor does he care what happens. I'm keeping this baby, because I don't want it to die. I love this baby, that is mine! It will be my child and I can't hate something that is part of me. A child should never spend its life thinking that it's unloved ." She stared at her father with fiery determination that made her more alive than she ever was before.
Debinder stared back at the girl. He had nothing else that he could say that would stop her. He wanted to wash his hands of the whole business as quickly as possible. "If you insist on keeping this... child... than you must agree to certain terms. Firstly, you will go Earth and live in a hospice. Delilah Lenning is a discrete cousin and she can watch for you. Once you have the child, then you will go to school."
8 months later......
Esmeralda was suffering greatly. She was in labor and she couldn't tell what was going on anymore. She had found herself feeling empty and lonelier than she'd ever felt in her life. Her baby was coming and she was terribly helpless. She wasn't even 15, and hear she was, in the maternity ward of the hospice. When it was all over, she could hardly believe the truth. Here in her arms was a little person, her son. She named him Liam after her grandfather, her benefactor when she became 21. "Oh Liam... you are so beautiful. I will never forget how you looked at me when you were here in my arms." Esmeralda pitifully. "May you never know the terrible truth about your circumstances. I must leave you as though you were a shameful sight. You will be away from your mother and when you see her again, you may not even know who she is..."
It was a simple truth. She would spend the next three years at school. She probably wouldn't spend more than six months with her own child. "Perhaps he will not know me." She kept the thought in her head.
"So sad for you... a young girl without hope to be able to be with her child. And a family that could care less about what happened to you or your baby," a voice said.
"Who are you?!" Esmeralda asked fearfully.
"Just someone who knows too well about what happens when life gives you a bad hand. I can assure you that when that happens, you have only yourself to count on. Don't just sit and pray that someone will save. Because you know what? No one will. It's a bitter truth. No one would lift a finger to help because you're just another nobody in a sea of nobodies."
Liam cried at the sound. "How could someone your age say that? Don't you have hopes and dreams?" Esmeralda said fearfully. Those pessimistic words frightened her a thousand times more than her father's words ever could.
The girl simply stared back. "After what you've been through, and what will happen to you... you can still believe in dreams and miracles?"
"It's all I have to hold me together. It's those hopes and dreams that give me a reason to live, and something to work for. My dream is to be happy with my son. I will do anything to be able to do that. How can you give up on dreams? You're no older than me!"
"I have lost my dreams three years ago. But I can't help but pity you. You still have your dreams, and I only hope you can be fortunate enough to get your dreams fulfilled."
"Why?" Esmeralda asked fearfully.
"I don't see much of a future for you."
"What??!! How can there be no future for me? Everyone has a future. That's what there is to live for. The hope that something good will come because you work hard to achieve your goals!"
"I was born with a power. A power to hear people's thoughts, and see their future. I see that your future has nothing but misery and emptiness." The girl stared into a mirror in her hands.
"What? What is that?"
"This is a special mirror. When you look at it, you will see the truth. The truth of who you are. The truth of what your future will be."
"May I look Miss---"
"Just call me Avatar." Avatar handed Esmeralda the mirror.
Esmeralda peered into the mirror and saw a weather-beaten version of herself staring back with lonely eyes, and tears pouring from her eyes. "This can't be! I'm going to be so lonely?"
Avatar peered into the mirror. "You don't have to be." The mirror image morphed and Esmeralda in fancy clothes, with a husband and a boy that was an older Liam could be seen. "You can have that, only if you are willing to grasp the opportunity that lays before you."
"What opportunity?"
"I know someone who can give you power with that power you can do whatever you want."
"What can I do?" Esmeralda stared into the mirror at the image of her being happy with a family.
"Just look again." With that Esmeralda stared into the mirror. The eyes that stared back at her weren't hers anymore. They were catlike in their fire and passion. "Welcome my dear Cat."
January, A.C. 198
"Quatre! I came to see you. I'm terribly sorry about what happened to Dorothy" Esmeralda said tenderly.
"The doctors say that she had serious energy drain. She's unconscious. She could be like this for weeks. All I can do is wait and hope she'll wake up soon," Quatre said quietly as he sat by her bed.
"You know I will be here. We have each other. I'll do whatever I can."
"Thanks. I know you will."
Esmeralda was at the hospital for 30 minutes and then left. She stared into a mirror and saw Cat, the darker side of her staring back. "I wish I didn't do that to Dorothy."
"Why should you feel sorry for her?"
"Stealing her energy and putting her in a coma is your idea, not mine!"
"And how else do you think you're going to get what you want? Just wait? That's what got you into trouble to begin with. You have to take action into your own hands. Nothing comes from just letting someone else take what you want!"
"But I'm hurting Quatre. He has feelings for her and it's wrong to do that to him, and especially her. She never did anything to me."
"How can you be so foolish? Are you willing to throw away your chance at finding love and the peace you want? Quatre is that guy that can give you that. Why should you let someone else take your Mr. Right?"
"Because I threw away his love years ago. He cared a great deal, even though we were only children. But he still held me dearly in his heart and I threw that away because I was too foolish to see that he was the real thing. His compassion didn't come with conditions. He meant everything he said. How can I just crawl back into his life hoping he'll love me?"
"How will you find happiness? Just hope for someone else to come along. We both know that the special person comes only once and you're going to give that up. And for what? For honor? For pride? For shame? All you've ever done your whole life was do what others wanted. Why can't you do what pleases you for once? You live only once. Live as best as you can girlfriend..."
Esmeralda just kept staring at herself. "How can I let Cat always win? I will destroy my life and the life of Quatre?"
"You are a fool! How can you give up something that is within your grasp?"
"Because if I take it, then how can I ever live with myself ever again? I'd rather die in ever lasting torment than to live knowing how I sold out to my darkest nature. To destroy what I value the most in the world! I cannot be greedy and ruin the lives of people just because I have a selfish whim. That's what you don't understand Cat. All you can see is the inner desires of human nature. But there is more than just desire in human nature. There is compassion, and there is love. Real love for other people and what you can do for them. What other reward can I ask for than the kind words of someone that cares about me. If I take Quatre's love away from Dorothy, it would be false love. I'd be as empty as you are. I'd never know if his love was real anymore."
"Then how can you ever ask for it now? You've already done the damage."
Esmeralda fell to her feet. "I know.... how can I?"
What happens now? The story continues when the Raptures make an ultimate strike. All this and more in Chapter 23!