Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.
Tip of the Iceberg Part V
By Rhi
Dear Diary,
I hate this world. Mom signed me and Daddy to go to Cancun (where the hell is that?) two days before graduation. When I pointed out that this was MY GOD DAMN GRADUATION in question, and I would only be missing the most important event in my pathetic life, she got all defensive and started pouring the guilt on me. "Oh, your father's been dreaming of this for MONTHS."
Unfortunately, two days before graduation is only five days away now. Why me?
The worst part is, I'm absolutely sure I will see Katie at least two years from now. The thing is, I'm terrified of the change I'll see in her-- will she be a hard working business person or will she retain her relaxed, dawdling mannerisms? After the new life she will have in America, will she even remember me?
I'm really scared about this. It is a change, a total breaking of communication. I'm never going to see her again, not the way she is now. I'm never going to be able to "accidently" bump into her or joke with her or even bask in the serenity that radiates out of her. Never, never again. Nada, zip, zero, zilch. I won't ever get to play Quidditch with her again. I won't ever be able to talk to her.
I talked to Cho about this, just talking to her in general about how sad it will be that everyone will go their seperate ways. She agrees, saying that it's hard for friends to stay together even if they live a few cities away. Great, just great.
Actually, a good thing did happen today. We were playing around in the common rooms (the seventh years) because we had no classes that afternoon due to some "unfortunate accident" involving Snape and a Cornish pixie, and Fred and George and Katie, the Dysfunctional Three, were singing some goopy love song to us, and she was standing right in front of me, and at one point, she started singing to me. Like, pointing, winking the whole bit. It was pretty funny. Later, Angelina was like, "why was she pointing at YOU?" (I do believe she's jealous!)
Alicia
***
"Colin, here's the deal: I pay you three galleons if you get pictures, at least two pictures of each member of the Quidditch team. Got it?"
"Er...how about five galleons?"
"Colin, three galleons is a lot of money."
"Four?"
***
Dear Diary,
I got Colin Creevey to take pictures of the entire quidditch team. That way, I'll have something to remember Katie by. The rest of the pictures I'll put in a scrapbook. I can sell the Harry Potter pictures to my dearest little sister.
The exams have been very intensive these past few days. All day long, tests, tests, tests. It's always a test. Remembering Regenerating Hexes in Potions, the effect of the 60's on the magical community in History of Magic, the intructions to changing inanimate objects into animate, sentient organisms in Transfiguration, etc. I really haven't had much time to do anything else but cram, which I am very skilled at, cram, cram, think about how much life sucks, and cram.
Four days until I leave Hogwarts forever.
Alicia
***
::runs into room, throws self on bed, bawls::
"Alicia, what's wrong?"
::sniffles:: "Nothing."
"No, really, are you okay?"
"Dammit, do I look okay?"
"I don't know..."
***
Dear Diary,
As much I hate the thought of being torn away from school, I will be so glad when the days of bursting into tears are over.
Every single day, I've been arriving to the dorm, only to find it empty. I've cried each time, not only for the drifting time, but for other things.
Like lately, Lee has been acting so incredibly mean. I mean, he practically waits to harass me. It's really unfair, but I can't do anything about it.
And I've been getting bad marks on my Potions work. I know, it shouldn't matter, Snape hates everyone, but it DOES MATTER. I care about my grades-- they're the determining factors for my future job.
Three days.
Alicia
***
"And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,
When everything seems like the movies,
I just want you to know who I am."
- Eagle Eye Cherry
***
Dear Diary,
Today, our Quidditch team had a party. Just the seven of us, Angelina, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Katie and me. We had tons of sweets and butterbeer, and an enormous cake. At the end, I noticed Colin lurking in one of the corners with his camera. Good boy.
I really don't have much to say. I feel drained and exhausted and just plain sick. There's a rat, chewing away in the bottom of my stomach.
Two days.
Alicia
***
Dear Diary,
It's Monday. I love Mondays. That's when I have the most classes with Katie. Today, life was bearable, because I could just look up and she would be there, bending over her parchment. It was so comforting. It sounds really stupid on paper, but it was just incredibly relaxing to know that Katie was there, close at hand.
Today I did something really stupid, even considering that's it me. I was so full of energy, it was the end of the day. I was running along the hall and the Fat Lady's portrait was open already. (The password was "Mortuus suum".) On an impulse, I jumped at the ledge around the entrace and began to swing into the common room. Bad, bad idea-- Katie was just coming out. I crashed right into her. At least she didn't make much of a fuss-- she laughed and said, "Woah, watch yourself."
One day and the clock is ticking.
Alicia
***
Dear Diary,
I blew it. I really, really blew it.
Classes went as planned, except for the fact I don't have any classes with Katie on Tuesdays. Damn.
I got to walk past her in a few hallways where we had classes right next door, but nothing. It was a wasted effort.
At the end of the day, I watched everyone, including her fall asleep. I did say, "goodnight" like I always do, but it wasn't enough.
No one knows I'm going. No one, except the teachers who've arranged all my test scores to be sent home.
It's like I'm a ghost, invisible, or some nonentity. I feel unsubstantial, unreal, as I sit here in the common rooms. I'm leaving school in less than four hours and I haven't said goodbye.
I want to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye. If I don't, what will be the point of having human emotions? Shouldn't I do what I feel is right?
Too late.
Alicia
***
Author's Note: Yep, anticlimatic ending, huh? Nope, not yet. Not by a long shot. There's still more to go.
Tip of the Iceberg Part V
By Rhi
Dear Diary,
I hate this world. Mom signed me and Daddy to go to Cancun (where the hell is that?) two days before graduation. When I pointed out that this was MY GOD DAMN GRADUATION in question, and I would only be missing the most important event in my pathetic life, she got all defensive and started pouring the guilt on me. "Oh, your father's been dreaming of this for MONTHS."
Unfortunately, two days before graduation is only five days away now. Why me?
The worst part is, I'm absolutely sure I will see Katie at least two years from now. The thing is, I'm terrified of the change I'll see in her-- will she be a hard working business person or will she retain her relaxed, dawdling mannerisms? After the new life she will have in America, will she even remember me?
I'm really scared about this. It is a change, a total breaking of communication. I'm never going to see her again, not the way she is now. I'm never going to be able to "accidently" bump into her or joke with her or even bask in the serenity that radiates out of her. Never, never again. Nada, zip, zero, zilch. I won't ever get to play Quidditch with her again. I won't ever be able to talk to her.
I talked to Cho about this, just talking to her in general about how sad it will be that everyone will go their seperate ways. She agrees, saying that it's hard for friends to stay together even if they live a few cities away. Great, just great.
Actually, a good thing did happen today. We were playing around in the common rooms (the seventh years) because we had no classes that afternoon due to some "unfortunate accident" involving Snape and a Cornish pixie, and Fred and George and Katie, the Dysfunctional Three, were singing some goopy love song to us, and she was standing right in front of me, and at one point, she started singing to me. Like, pointing, winking the whole bit. It was pretty funny. Later, Angelina was like, "why was she pointing at YOU?" (I do believe she's jealous!)
Alicia
***
"Colin, here's the deal: I pay you three galleons if you get pictures, at least two pictures of each member of the Quidditch team. Got it?"
"Er...how about five galleons?"
"Colin, three galleons is a lot of money."
"Four?"
***
Dear Diary,
I got Colin Creevey to take pictures of the entire quidditch team. That way, I'll have something to remember Katie by. The rest of the pictures I'll put in a scrapbook. I can sell the Harry Potter pictures to my dearest little sister.
The exams have been very intensive these past few days. All day long, tests, tests, tests. It's always a test. Remembering Regenerating Hexes in Potions, the effect of the 60's on the magical community in History of Magic, the intructions to changing inanimate objects into animate, sentient organisms in Transfiguration, etc. I really haven't had much time to do anything else but cram, which I am very skilled at, cram, cram, think about how much life sucks, and cram.
Four days until I leave Hogwarts forever.
Alicia
***
::runs into room, throws self on bed, bawls::
"Alicia, what's wrong?"
::sniffles:: "Nothing."
"No, really, are you okay?"
"Dammit, do I look okay?"
"I don't know..."
***
Dear Diary,
As much I hate the thought of being torn away from school, I will be so glad when the days of bursting into tears are over.
Every single day, I've been arriving to the dorm, only to find it empty. I've cried each time, not only for the drifting time, but for other things.
Like lately, Lee has been acting so incredibly mean. I mean, he practically waits to harass me. It's really unfair, but I can't do anything about it.
And I've been getting bad marks on my Potions work. I know, it shouldn't matter, Snape hates everyone, but it DOES MATTER. I care about my grades-- they're the determining factors for my future job.
Three days.
Alicia
***
"And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,
When everything seems like the movies,
I just want you to know who I am."
- Eagle Eye Cherry
***
Dear Diary,
Today, our Quidditch team had a party. Just the seven of us, Angelina, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Katie and me. We had tons of sweets and butterbeer, and an enormous cake. At the end, I noticed Colin lurking in one of the corners with his camera. Good boy.
I really don't have much to say. I feel drained and exhausted and just plain sick. There's a rat, chewing away in the bottom of my stomach.
Two days.
Alicia
***
Dear Diary,
It's Monday. I love Mondays. That's when I have the most classes with Katie. Today, life was bearable, because I could just look up and she would be there, bending over her parchment. It was so comforting. It sounds really stupid on paper, but it was just incredibly relaxing to know that Katie was there, close at hand.
Today I did something really stupid, even considering that's it me. I was so full of energy, it was the end of the day. I was running along the hall and the Fat Lady's portrait was open already. (The password was "Mortuus suum".) On an impulse, I jumped at the ledge around the entrace and began to swing into the common room. Bad, bad idea-- Katie was just coming out. I crashed right into her. At least she didn't make much of a fuss-- she laughed and said, "Woah, watch yourself."
One day and the clock is ticking.
Alicia
***
Dear Diary,
I blew it. I really, really blew it.
Classes went as planned, except for the fact I don't have any classes with Katie on Tuesdays. Damn.
I got to walk past her in a few hallways where we had classes right next door, but nothing. It was a wasted effort.
At the end of the day, I watched everyone, including her fall asleep. I did say, "goodnight" like I always do, but it wasn't enough.
No one knows I'm going. No one, except the teachers who've arranged all my test scores to be sent home.
It's like I'm a ghost, invisible, or some nonentity. I feel unsubstantial, unreal, as I sit here in the common rooms. I'm leaving school in less than four hours and I haven't said goodbye.
I want to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye. If I don't, what will be the point of having human emotions? Shouldn't I do what I feel is right?
Too late.
Alicia
***
Author's Note: Yep, anticlimatic ending, huh? Nope, not yet. Not by a long shot. There's still more to go.