DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Jeopardy game, or anything else that I may use in this story. It's just supposed to be some stupid thing, so don't sue me. I don't have the money to be sued
Jeopardy: EvilGameshow Style!!!
Jenn: Hello, and welcome to Jeopardy! I'm your hostess, Jenn *******, since Alex Trebeck (not sure if that's the spelling) isn't available at the moment! ::small scruffling and struggling noises could be heard in the background. Jenn laughed slyly, and kicked something behind the overly large desk in front of her. Whatever it was, moaned, then stopped.:: Alright, let's meet the contestants!! ::the camera pans to view the three contestants behind the blatant desks. It stops on the first contestant::
Keli: Hi, My name is Keli *******, I'm from a little town in the Southeast! Today, I'm playing for the Hero-Lives-On Foundation. ::the camera pans to the next::
Karen: Hello, I'm Karen *******, I'm from the same little
town in the Southeast, and I'm playing for Get Googie-pooh a date
before I kill him out there! ::camera pans again::
Rachel: I'm Rach ***** and I'm playing for the Egotistic Boyfriends
Help Anonymous. How ya doin, Jenn?
Jenn: Just fine, Rach. And kissing my ass isn't going to help you with the game. Besides, you need to keep your mouth to yourself and John, 'K?
Rachel: ::almost inaudible:: Bitch
Jenn: Same to you! And here comes the question board! ::she turned to the big blue board and began to read off the titles on the top.:: The first category is 'Things to do When You're Alone'. The second, 'Incredibly Hard Math Problems'. The third, 'Weapons, Weapons, Weapons!'. Fourth, 'Pop Stars!'. Fifth, 'Japanese Phrases'. Sixth, 'Computer Jargon'. And the last category is, 'Phone Sex Lines'! ::she turned back to the contestants:: And who's first, hmm?
Keli: I believe that would be me!
Jenn: And you're category for what price?
Keli: Weapons for 500, Regis!!
Jenn: My. Name. Is. Not. Regis.
Keli: Okay Regis!
Jenn: Keli, one more time and you'll end up with a replacement like Mr. Trabeck. ::She kicked whatever was behind the desk again in emphasis.::
Keli: Uhn uhn uhn. ::she shook her finger at Jenn, and pulled something out of empty space.:: I've got one of those Weapons, Weapons, Weapons. Don't tempt me.
Jenn: ::sighs annoyingly.:: Fine, here's your question. ::she turned back to the board as the question lit up on the box under Keli's category.:: And for 500, the question is What sort of weapon would you use to counter an atomic bomb?
Keli: Um, you can't counter an atomic bomb
Jenn: I'm sorry, the correct answer is, the bomb shelter. So sorry, neesan, but you're in the negative's now And it looks like it's Rachel's turn. Rach, you're category?
Rachel: I think I'll chose Phone Sex Lines, for 300, Jenn.
Jenn: Alright, that I can do. ::turns again and reads the question:: Which line is it that greets you, 'Hello, and welcome to this hot, sexy, seductive room.'?
Rachel: I believe it's 1-555-Fuck-Me-Now. I caught John calling it last night while I was over. Need to say, we both had a good time.
Karen: Too much information, Rachel Would you mind keeping things like that to yourself from now on?
Jenn: Yes, that is correct!! Rachel, you now have 300 big ones! You're in the lead now. Karen, your turn.
Karen: I'll take, Computer Jargon for 800, Regis!
Jenn: Stop calling me Regis, damnit!!! ::Jenn leapt over
her desk thingie and attacked Karen.::
Producer: CUT TO COMMERCIAL, DAMNIT!
Jenn: ::lifting a chunk of hair out of her face:: And we're back. Sorry, I guess I forgot to take my anger management pills this morning. Well, I took them backstage, and I'm all better now. So, Karen, back to your question. And it is 'What is the code to input a black widow into an IM?'
Karen: ::The screen pans back to Karen, who looked as equally beat up as Jenn did.:: Um, I, don't really know that one It just seems to slip my mind.
Jenn: That is not correct! Minus 800 for you. Keli, next category?
Keli: I think I'll choose, Incredibly Hard Math Problems, for 600. ::she paused until the camera panned back to Jenn:: Regis
Jenn: ::choosing to ignore the insult.:: Alright, ::she took some enjoyment in seeing her sister choose a topic so hard.:: The question is, 'What is the square root of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle?'
Keli: ::blank look crossed Keli's face as she tried desperately to think.::
Jenn: I'm so glad to say this, that is wrong!!!! ::does happy Jenny dance:: Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong
Keli: This is rigged, guys! ::she jumped up onto the desk, wielding the scythe.:: I say we get her!!!
Rachel: Yeah, this is getting kinda boring ::a weapon appeared in her hands, and she leapt up onto the desk as well.::
Karen: She pissed me off ::likewise, jumps onto desk with weapon.
Jenn: Hey!! All three of you, sit down now! This is my show!!!!
Keli: This is Alex Trabeck's show. You just tied him up and gagged him so you could host one!!
Jenn: ::Crossing arms, and jumps up onto desk as well, minus weapons:: Yeah, so? Ya got any problem with it?
Rachel: You tied up Alex Trabeck? What the hell is wrong with you? Isn't he a little old?
Jenn: ::sighing:: you're hopeless, Rachel. You know, I got you this gig on this show. Show me some damned gratitude!!
Rachel: Gratitude? You got a place on a crappy show that no one watches for me!! I should sue!!!
Jenn: I dare you.
Rachel: Okay. LAWYER!!!!
Lawyer (who just happened to be sitting in the audience.): Yes, Ms. ******?
Rachel: I'm suing her. ::she pointed to Jenn.::
Jenn: This is ridiculous!!! How did a lawyer get in here?!
Keli: ::to Karen:: I say we just get her while she doesn't have a weapon.
Karen: Good idea. ::Karen and Keli jumped off of their desks and attacked Jenn.::
Jenn: ::through screams of pain and the magical appearance of a weapon:: See you next time on Jeopardy!!! I'm gonna go kick some sorry ass!!!!!
Producer: CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!! ::the screen goes blank.
The three girls are still hacking at each other in the background.::