I Am - A Poem By Sirius Black ( Told by Shila, Psycho Elf )

i am a young man who is confused about love
i wonder if he could understand the way i feel
i hear myself and my friends laugh and joke like nothing matters
i see us throwing away our lives and myself not acting on what i truly want
i want to tell him i love him and have him return my love
i am a young man who is confused about love

i pretend that he is my best friend and nothing more
i feel his body against mine in my dreams at night
i touch his soft sweet lips and kiss him gently
i worry that he does not return my love
i cry that i can never have him
i am a young man who is confused about love

i understand that to speak my heart is to break our friendship
i say that my recent passing fling is "meant to be" so he doesn't suspect my worship of him
i dream that someday i could be allowed to love him
i try to do the best i can for him
i hope that maybe someday i will be good enough for him
i am a young man who is confused about love


(by Sirius, for Remus. it's sad, i know)