"Squall,"
"Yeah?"
"Mind if we, like, meet up tonight? We
haven't spoken properly in a really long time,"
Squall shrugs. "Whatever,"
I can't stop my heart from jumping for joy.
I know, this can't be considered a date of any sort, but as long as I
get to admire his face, listen to his voice, and on the whole feel his
presence, anything's fine.
As long as she isn't there.
I know, I know, Rinoa's my friend and all.
But when three of us are together, I can't
get a word in edgewise.
The guilt sometimes hits me, though.
It's not often when you fantasize about the
guy you know your friend loves.
But it simply tears me up when I see them
together.
When I see how happy Squall is with her.
A happiness I don't think I can ever give
him.
But, after tonight, who knows what can
happen?
"Okay then," I say, "Seven-fifteen. I'll
meet you at –"
Miraculously, Rinoa seemingly appears from
nowhere.
"Hi, Quisty," she greets me briefly, and
straightaway sidles up to him.
"Want to meet up tonight?" She asks
perkily.
It seems to come naturally to Rinoa.
I bet she doesn't have to muster up her
courage to ask that.
Squall's usual stone-cold face softens, the
special expression he reserves for only her. "Anything,"
I'm stunned. "I-"
Squall cuts me off. "Well, I guess I'll be
meeting Rinoa –"his face flushes slightly –"so I can't make it. Sorry,
Quistis,"
What can I say?
Thank you, Rinoa, for turning up at the
right time. I hope you enjoy yourself, Squall, I know she's much more vivacious
and interesting than I am.
I can't take this anymore.
"Gotta go," I tell him in a fake happy
voice. "See ya both,"
I turn and walk away.
Over my shoulder, I hear them replying
simultaneously, "See ya,"
I head for the cafeteria.
No apparent reason.
I fall into a chair, and put my head in my
hands.
Why is Rinoa always prioritised over me?
I don't see why.
I knew Squall way before they even met each
other.
It can't be that she got there
first.
In what way is she better than I
am?
God, I can't believe I'm even thinking
this.
I'm supposed to be mature and all, and not
act like a petulant child.
My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar
voice.
"Agonizing over darling Squally again?"
I look up.
It's the person I least want to see now.
"Go away," I snap, annoyed. "You have no
idea how I'm feeling now,"
"Of course I know how you're feeling," he
retaliates. "I witnessed everything. You want Squall to meet you for dinner
tonight. You want to flirt with him. You want to feel his arms around you. You
want him to be kissing you. You want him to…"
"Shut up!" I yell. "If you were trying to
make me lose my temper, you succeeded. Now leave me in peace!"
"You think I know nothing about pain,
Quistis?" he ignores me and continues, steely-eyed. "How would you like
it if you saw the girl you loved –"
"The girl you loved with another guy who
coincidentally happens to be your long-time rival?" I question. "If you feel so
bad, why are you even bitching about it to me? Knowing you, you'd probably be
brewing up some manipulative plan to make Rinoa your girl all over again. Why
don't you do just that? You take Rinoa, I take Squall. It's bloody easy,"
He barks out a harsh laugh. "You've
changed, Quistis Trepe. You know what your ****ing problem is?"
"Tell me about it," I challenge.
Slowly and deliberately, he lowers himself into the chair facing
me.
"You assume too much," he says calmly. "You
weren't even close to guessing what I wanted to tell you,"
He looks at me, and I feel transfixed by
his flashing jade eyes.
Get a grip, Quistis.
You feel for Squall.
Not anybody else.
Especially that smirking, arrogant bastard.
"I was about to say, the girl you loved
feeling shattered over a guy who's always fawning over her so-called friend.
When you see the girl of your dreams miserable, her feelings hit you too. And
you can't stop the jealousy, because she isn't feeling bitter over you, but
someone else. Especially when you know she ****ing loathes you. You know what,
Quistis? It's double the pain,"
My blood runs cold.
"What do you mean?" my voice trembles
slightly against my will.
"You figure it out yourself, Instructor.
You're the prodigy over here,"
Seifer Almasy winks, gets up, and saunters
away.
