TOM – Chores
Hey minna! Here it is! The sixth Tales of Mia. Hope you all enjoy and keep the reviews comin'! Ja ne! --Jay'a
The Tales of Mia or : "I... Just... Live Here."
The Chores
"Okay people, listen up." Mia turned sharply to face her pinstraight line of troops. "I'm going out today," she continued, as she slowly began to pace before them, "and I want you bunch of freeloaders to have this house spotless and beautiful by the time I get back."
"Hey, does that mean we have to get rid of Kento too?" Sage asked. "Because you know he really is kind of an eyesore –"
"Hey, you wanna fat lip Pretty Boy?"
"Kento!" Mia barked. "You can beat Sage later. Outside. After the house gets clean. Ryo!"
"Ma'am!" Ryo threw her a mock salute.
"Don't get smart. Your job will be dusting. The paper towels are in the kitchen and the Pledge is under the sink. Can you handle it?"
"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!"
"Sage!"
"Mmmm?"
"Your job will be cleaning the bathrooms."
"The bathrooms! Why do I have to clean the bathrooms?"
"Because you're the one who always leaves a mess in there after your daily two hour stint. Rowen!"
Rowen yawned. Ten o'clock was way too early in the morning for him.
"Rowen, are you paying attention?" He nodded sleepily. "You'll be doing laundry."
Rowen snapped his eyes open. "As in everyone's laundry?"
"Kento!" she continued, ignoring Rowen's question. "Can I trust you to clean the kitchen?"
Kento's eyes lit up as everyone else exchanged wary glances. Was Mia really with it this morning? "You can count on me!" Kento said brightly.
"Shiane and Cye!"
"Yes?" Cye said as Shiane slowly looked up to give Mia a half asleep, half annoyed look. She was not so much a morning person either.
"You two will be vacuuming. One upstairs, one downstairs." She stopped pacing a moment and faced the six teenagers. "Everyone got what they're doing?"
"Hey wait a sec," Ryo said. "What about Jay'a? How come she doesn't have a job?" He motioned to the brunette who was lounging on the couch drinking a Pepsi and had thus far been silent.
Mia narrowed her eyes at Ryo and stepped up to be nose to nose with him. "Because," she said, "unlike you, she's only here on occasional weekends. Unlike you, she's not a freeloader. Unlike you, she's responsible." Ryo raised an eyebrow. "Unlike you, she is a guest and guests do not do chores. Hence, she will be supervising." Ryo raised the other eyebrow. Mia smiled. "'Kay?"
Ryo blinked. "Ooookaaay."
* * * * * * * *
On the couch in the living room, Jay'a set down her pen and notebook and checked her watch. "Two hours!" she exclaimed. "I got them started two hours ago?" She paused a moment. "It's entirely too quiet here. I'd better check on everyone."
Jay'a got up and headed upstairs first. She peered at the bathroom door and scrunched up her face. She knocked. "Sage? Are you in there?"
There was a yelp and a couple of crashes. "Uh, yeah, um... yeah."
Jay'a opened the door to find Sage quickly picking up gel bottles, hair spray bottles, and combs. "Sage! Have you been primping for two hours?"
Sage checked his watch and looked at her sheepishly. "Um, well, not EXACTLY two hours, um..."
Jay'a smacked herself in the forehead. "I knew I should have checked on everyone earlier."
She was about to say more but the faint sound of cussing immediately drowned out by the vacuum cleaner caught her ear. She opened her mouth then closed it again and looked at Sage, who merely shrugged. "You stay here," she said pointing a finger at Sage, and left for the source: Sage and Rowen's room.
Jay'a started to knock but thought better of it and opened the door a crack and peeked in. Cocking her head to the side, she watched as Cye tried to violently vacuum through a large pile of... stuff. Rowen's stuff, Jay'a noted silently. Slipping in and shutting the door behind her, Jay'a cleared her throat for Cye's attention. "Cye... what are you - doing?"
Cye looked at her wide-eyed. "I can't take it! I have to deal with Kento's mess in my room EVERY DAY! And now I have to clean HIS mess! I can't do it!"
Jay'a licked her lips as she thought of what to say. "Yes, well, um... don't – don't you think it would be easier if - if you would put all the stuff on the bed first and then vacuum? Because I - I really don't think the vacuum is going to pick up, uh," she looked at the pile, "shirts, boxers, and three-inch text books."
Cye blinked then shrugged. "Yeah, well, it's broken anyway," he said calmly.
"Is it?" Jay'a knelt down and inspected the underside of the vacuum. Broken my butt, she thought. It's probably just jammed from sucking up so much crap. She felt around the rotating brushes and slightly raised an eyebrow as she pulled out a small object. Jay'a rolled her eyes and mentally shook her head. It was a dark blue, marble sized sphere that glowed. She stuffed it in her pocket and stood up. "I fixed it."
"Huh?" Cye hadn't been paying attention. "What do you mean you fixed it?"
"Just that. Have you done the whole floor yet?"
"'Cept for the bathroom and the computer room. Sage holed himself up –"
"I've been."
"- and Ryo kicked me out of the other room. He's fondling swords again."
"Riiiiiiight. I guess I know where my next stop is. Don't suck up anymore crap." Cye snorted as Jay'a left the room.
Jay'a proceeded down the hall to Mia's computer room where she poked her head in to see Ryo sitting on a table... fondling a sword. "Yo bud. What happened to dusting?"
Ryo sniffed but didn't look up. "Nothin'."
Jay'a hopped upon the table next to him. "S'matter?"
"See this sword?"
"Yeah."
"It's a really nice sword."
"Yeah." Jay'a wondered where this was going.
"It's nicer than my swords."
Oh great, Ryo's gonna have a temper tantrum, Jay'a thought.
"It's even nicer than my Soul Swords! I want my swords to be as nice as this one Jay'a! Why aren't they Jay'a, why? I want them to be! It isn't fair Jay, it just isn't fair!"
"Whoa Ryo, calm down!" Jay'a said holding her hands up. "Your swords are nice. And hey, they can blow stuff up. How cool is that?"
Ryo sniffed again. "I guess."
Jay'a patted him on the back. "I'm gonna go check on everyone else and then come back later, okay?"
"'Kay."
Jay'a left the room and headed back downstairs to the kitchen. She looked inside and shook her head as she eyed the small smorgasbord in front of Kento. "Hey Kento," she said with a wry smile, "having fun?"
"Mm! Mmeya Mmay'a! Wamphf fum?"
Jay'a burst into giggles. She shifted her eyes around trying to hide a grin.
"Hmmmm... okay but don't tell anyone." She sat down next to Kento and swiped a pickle from the jar. "Yer s'possed ta be workin', ya know."
Kento swallowed. "Oh yeah? And how much work have you done, Miss Supervisor? I saw ya writin' in you little notebook."
Jay'a swiped another pickle. "I was making notes on everyone," she replied with mock haughtiness.
Kento snorted. "Yeah, you were makin' notes an' I was scrubbin' the floor with a toothbrush."
"Yeah, well, ya might wanna do it again," Jay'a said peering at the floor. "It doesn't look very clean to me."
"Ha ha." Kento stuck his tongue out and Jay'a replied in like fashion.
"Have you done any work?"
"Jay, lemme ask you a question."
"Shoot." Jay'a took another pickle.
"Why do you suppose Mia put me in the kitchen?"
"Certainly wasn't so you could eat everything. Though personally I think Mia was out of her gourd this morning. She musta really needed to get away from you crazy maniacs." Jay'a took a strawberry.
Kento made a face. "Ew. Pickles and strawberries?"
"Hey now, do I harass you about your eating habits? No. I think I'm the only one in the house who doesn't. So shutchyer mouth." Kento shrugged. "Anyhoo," Jay'a continued and stood up, "I need to see Shiane and Rowen and then I think we'll need a house meeting if any work is going to be done."
"Where are Shi and Ro?"
"Ro should be doing laundry and Shi should be vacuuming down here."
"I haven't heard a vacuum at all. Try the library."
"Good call. Thanks for the tip." Jay'a left the kitchen and made her way down the hall to the library. She opened the door a crack and sure enough, there was Shiane leaning over a book.
"Psstt! Shiane!" Jay'a whispered loudly. No response. Let's see... What would get her attention? Jay'a thought. A small, semi-evil smile appeared. "Hey Shiane! Sage wants to have kinky sex with you!" Nothing. Damn. Must be some book. Guess I'll have to do this the old fashioned way.
Jay'a crept in and snuck up behind Shiane. Hands poised, she eyed the girl's waist. And struck.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!" Shiane screamed and fell out of her chair. "Damn it Jay'a, you know I hate being tickled!" She jumped up and wrestled her best friend, who was laughing her ass off, to the floor.
"Aw, come on Shi, it was funny!"
"NO! No, it wasn't!"
"Well, how else was I s'posed to get your attention? I tried tellin' ya that Sage wanted to have kinky sex with you, but..."
Shiane rolled off her friend and sat up. "He does?"
Jay'a shrugged. "He might. He's been primping for two hours." Shiane raised an interested eyebrow. "Anyway," Jay'a continued, "no one else has done any work either. Come with me to check on Rowen."
"Okay."
The two went down to the basement and when they reached the bottom of the steps, they looked around for Rowen. There, in the corner by the washer and dryer, Rowen sat on the floor amidst strewn piles of laundry. Shirts, pants, socks, lay everywhere. Underthings - specifically Mia and Shiane's underthings - lay in a messy circle around Rowen. Except Shiane's camouflage bra. That was sitting on Rowen's head.
"What the hell are you doing with my underwear, you blue haired freak?!"
Startled, Rowen jumped, sending several pairs of underwear flying. "Oh! Shiane, Jay'a, hi, I was just, um," Rowen picked up a bra but threw it down a again, "you see I -" He stopped suddenly and gave them a puppy dog face.
"Don't gimme that damned puppy dog face of yours, you little weirdo! Stay the hell outta my underwear!"
"But, but, but..."
"Yep," said Jay'a who'd been watching with amusement. "Definitely in need of a house meeting."
* * * * * * * *
Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt!!!!
After having forcibly stopped Shiane from killing Rowen, and swiping a whistle from her office, Jay'a assembled the troops. "Move it along here kids! Hup, two, three, four! March, march, march, march!"
The six teens assembled to their pinstraight line. Jay'a faced them. "Okay kids. We've been here for," she checked her watch, "two and a half hours and virtually nothing has gotten done. Well, except a few of the upstairs rooms have been vacuumed. Thank you Cye." She golf-clapped for him and he bowed.
"Yeah, woo hoo, alright Cye! Rock on!" Kento cheered loudly.
"Anyhoo," Jay'a continued, "a redistribution of jobs is needed." She picked up her notebook. "Now, according to my notes here –"
"Those aren't notes!" Kento interrupted.
"But Kento, if these are notes, then you scrubbed the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, 'member?"
"Huh? Oh - oh yeah! Yeah, that's right. She's got notes on us all!" he said pointing to Sage. "So you better watch out."
"Me?! You left the kitchen in a worse mess than you found it!"
"Chitlen!" Jay'a tossed the notebook down and stood at the end of the line. She faced Rowen. "You," she said, "will be dusting."
"I hate dusting."
"Tough darts." She moved on. "Sage. You'll be vacuuming."
"I don't like vacuuming."
"Deal. Ryo. You'll be doing laundry."
Ryo's eyes grew wide. "I - I can't do laundry."
"Too bad. Kento. You'll be cleaning the bathrooms."
"But I liked my job in the kitchen."
"You'll live. Cye and Shiane. You'll both be in the kitchen. Oh yeah, and as long as you're here and before I forget, Rowen I believe this is yours." Jay'a pulled his yoroi out of her pocket and handed it to him.
"Hey, my yoroi. But why do you have it?"
"I was holding it. For safe keeping."
"Why?"
Jay'a stole a quick glance at Cye. "I don't think ya wanna know, bud. Okay," she clapped her hands, "everyone set?" They nodded. "Scatter!"
The group heaved a collective sigh and trudged off to their new respective jobs. Except Ryo. "Now what's the problem?" Jay'a asked.
"I can't do laundry."
"Sure ya can. You just –"
"Aaaaiiieeeee!!!"
"Cye must've found the kitchen," Jay'a noted. Ryo grinned and nodded. "Anyway, just follow the directions on the washing machine."
"Oh, I can wash clothes. Just not... certain... clothes."
Jay'a blinked a few times and then broke into a slow grin. "Ah. I see. Tell ya what. I'll take care of the feminine underthings if you do everything else."
"Deal."
Jay'a and Ryo headed for the basement and sorted out the underthings, loaded them up, and turned on the machine. They sat and waited. After a few minutes, Ryo turned to Jay'a. "Are washing machines supposed to make that weird churning noise?"
"Well, yeah, sorta," she said as she turned to look. "Ahhh! It's over flowing soap bubbles!"
"Shit!"
Doing their best to subdue the onslaught, Jay'a finally had to unplug the machine. "Ryo, you used too much soap."
"No, I didn't! You watched me!"
"That... is a very good point." Jay'a thought. "Oh crap. Rowen musta used too much soap and then left it in there." She surveyed the basement and laughed the mildly tired and frustrated laugh. "It's such a mess in here." The basement was a virtual sea of bubbles.
"What are we gonna do?"
"I dunno."
"Come on! I thought you were the 'responsible' one!"
"Uh uh, not me. And I saw that look on your face this morning Ryo-Pyro." She sighed. "I guess we start cleaning up."
~meanwhile in the kitchen~
"We took care of the food pretty fast," Shiane said.
"Of course. We had to throw most of it out. I can't believe Kento." Cye sighed. "I suppose it's just dishes then."
"I hate doing dishes."
~in the basement~
Fffooompf
Ryo and Jay'a looked up at each other. "Did you hear that?" Jay'a asked.
"Uh huh."
"That didn't sound good."
"Uh uh."
"I better check it out."
"Uh huh."
Jay'a blinked. "Right. Stay here."
Jay'a ran all the way to the upstairs and headed for the bathroom. "Kento?" She opened the door to see Kento whacking at something with a towel. It was a small fire eating up the bathroom rug. "Kento!"
"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"
The two of them finally got the fire out. "Kento, what happened?"
He took a deep breath. "Sage left his candle burning, an' I was playin' with the hair spray, an' the candle flared, an' it scared me, an' I accidentally knocked it over, an' now the bathroom's torched."
Jay'a smacked herself in the forehead a few times. "Oh my God."
"I'm sorry. It's really messy now."
Jay'a rolled her eyes. "You should see the basement," she muttered.
"What?"
"Nevermind."
~kitchen~
"Cye, I have a plan."
"Uh oh."
"You have the Torrent armor whose element is water, right?"
"Right."
"And I have the Nimbus armor whose element is wind, right?"
"Right."
"Water, wind. Wash, dry."
A big grin spread over Cye's face. "I like."
~bathroom~
"Okay Kento, I'll help ya get started cleaning up."
Crrrraaaaaaassssshhh
Jay'a closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Kento, did you hear that?"
"Uh huh."
Jay'a smacked herself in the forehead again. "Grrrr. Stay here."
Jay'a ran down the stairs to the living room. "Oh my God! Rowen!" Rowen was curled up in a ball on the floor. Next to him a chair was overturned and a lamp was broken. She knelt next to him and helped him sit up. "What happened?!"
"Well, I was *yawn* see, okay, here's what happened. I was doin' laundry, right, an' I got bored so I ate a pixie stick –"
"Yeah, I noticed you were unusually energetic for it being noon - whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where did you get a pixie stick?"
"It was just a mini one!"
"Which wasn't really the question that I asked," Jay'a said to no one in particular. "Go on."
"An' then I was dusting, an' I was in my bubble getting the top when it wore off, an' I fell asleep, an' I crashed, an' now I hurt."
Jay'a observed the broken porcelain lamp. "Jeez, this place is gonna be more of a mess than when we started."
"It's just the living room."
Jay'a snorted. "You haven't seen the basement and bathroom."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
~kitchen~
"We'll need our armors for this," Cye said.
"Good call. I'll go first. Armor of Nimbus! Dao Meiyo!" {honor}
"Armor of Torrent! Dao Shin!"
"Cool," Shiane said after Cye had finished. "Now, how exactly are we gonna do this?"
~living room~
"Jay'a?"
"Yes Rowen?"
"Do I have a bump on my head?"
Jay'a felt around through Rowen's thick blue hair. "Yep. You pretty well did yourself in."
Bang!!
"Rowen, did you hear that?"
"Uh huh."
"This is getting really old."
"How's that?"
"You stay here."
Jay'a ran back up the stairs to Mia's computer room. Without bothering to knock, she went right in and walked straight into a cloud of dust. She started coughing. "Sage? Are you in here?"
"Uh huh," he whimpered.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh uh."
Finally Jay'a could see him as the dust began to settle. "What happened?" Damn, this is getting old, she thought.
"It back fired!"
"Are you hurt?"
"I'm dirty!"
Jay'a looked him over as she tried to hide a small grin. "Yeah. Yeah ya are kinda... dirty." Sage's whole front side was completely gray from dust. Jay'a wasn't even sure what colors his clothes were.
"The rest of the room doesn't look so hot either," Sage commented.
"You haven't seen the - oh nevermind."
"What?"
*Sigh* "Nevermind."
~kitchen~
"Super Wave Smasher!"
"Divine Winds Sing!"
~computer room~
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!!
"Did you hear that?" Sage asked.
"Hey, that's my line. Forget it," she added, cutting off Sage's question. "You stay here."
"Oh yeah, as if I'd go anywhere looking like this."
Jay'a walked down the stairs headed for the kitchen. "Up the stairs, down the stairs, up the stairs, down the stairs. Jeez, I'm runnin' a frickin' marathon today."
She walked into the kitchen to see Shiane and Cye standing at the back of the kitchen, their arms and legs spread wide, in front of the... lawn? Jay'a spoke slowly. "Uhhhhh... I really don't want to know, but... what are you doing?"
"We're, um, stretching," Shiane said. "Cleaning really cramps you up."
"I see. Guys? Where's the wall?"
"What wall?"
"The one that really should be behind you."
"Oh! Of course! That wall!" Shiane said. "Well, ya see it's –"
"Invisible!" Cye threw in and Shiane smacked him in the back of the head. "Ow."
"See, it's a hologram," Shiane explained.
"Oh! A hologram," Jay'a said. "How... nice. Isn't that where the kitchen sink used to be?"
"Um, maybe."
"Right. So. Hologram. That's a nice breeze you have coming through your hologram."
"It's very realistic."
"Uh huh. I suppose that's also why there's a bird flying through to the living room now, yes?"
Cye and Shiane exchanged a glance. Cye broke first. "Okay! We didn't wanna do dishes so we used our armor powers - water, wind, wash, dry - and we sorta blew out the wall."
"Sorta blew out the wall?! I'd say you definitely blew out the wall!" Jay'a smacked herself in the head a few more times. "Of all the people in this house I would expect NOT to do something this stupid. What have you two got to say for yourselves?"
"Well, um, maybe she won't notice," Cye said quietly.
Jay'a turned and gave a half-crazed look to Shiane, who shrugged. "Right. Sure. Like, maybe she won't notice the sea of bubbles on her basement floor. Maybe," she continued, her voice rising in pitch, speed, and intensity, "she won't notice her torched bathroom. Maybe she won't notice the broken lamp in the living room. Maybe she won't notice her computer room covered in dust because the vacuum cleaner back fired because YOU," she pointed at Cye, "sucked up too much crap! Yeah! Right! Sure! Maybe she won't notice the BIG HOLE in her kitchen!!!!"
"Are you having a bad day?" Shiane asked.
* * * * * * * *
Mia sighed as she came home. The guys could be such a handful sometimes. She was glad she'd gotten a good day vacation from them today. And hey, the house might even actually be clean.
She walked into the living room to see Ryo curled up on one end of the couch, Rowen curled up on the other. Kento sat in the middle fanning himself, and Sage sat in a chair coughing slightly and looking a little... grayer?... than usual. Shiane and Cye were on the floor staring at a blank T.V. screen. Jay'a had apparently left. Mia shook her head at them. "I... just... live here."
No one moved. Mia shrugged. "I'm going into the kitchen to get something to eat guys," she said, and left.
After a moment, it registered. Cye and Shiane turned to each other with pure looks of panic and terror. "The kitchen? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***************
Shiane here! Well, there you go everyone! Hope you liked it! Here's some bad news for ya'll though. I have to go away for the summer so it may be a while before we can get a lot of updates to all of you. We're going to try our darndest though! So keep supporting us and we'll find a way to keep you entertained!