Once upon a time, long long ago, a fanfic writer with long brown hair, ruby-ish eyes and a fire in her heart sat down to write a story.
Oh, but this wasn't just any story.
It was going to be a TYPICAL DIGIMON YAOI STORY!
The fanfic writer's name was Mimi Elaene Brandywine, but for the sake of this story, we'll just call her Mimi-chan. Anyway, Mimi-chan sat down at her keyboard, cracked her knuckles (making everyone within a two kilometre radius wince) and started to think.
"First of all, this has to be set in Season One," she said, frowning while deep in thought. "Because everyone knows that 11-year-olds have very deep, strong feelings for each other.
"Next, I need my characters! The uke, the seme, and the evil girl trying to get between them. Hmmm...I know! Since this is a typical Digi-yaoi, it'll be Matt, Tai and Sora!"
There was a sudden "BAMF!", and Matt, Tai and Sora all appeared in the middle of Mimi-chan's room, looking extremely confused and somewhat bewildered.
"All right..." Matt said, brushing his gold locks out of his eyes. He had a cordless microphone in his hands. "I know that this is not Tokyo Stadium. Tokyo Stadium doesn't have so much pink..."
Sora blinked her ruby eyes and looked around warily. "Certainly isn't the tennis courts..."
Tai remained in the position he'd fallen in, soccer ball still in his hands. "Last thing I was remember, I was walking to the boy's locker room..."
Mimi-chan smiled at her three guests. "Sorry to throw a spanner in the works, guys, but I'm writing a Digi-yaoi, and you're my three victim--ah, I mean, subjec--characters! I mean, characters!"
Matt and Tai groaned loudly.
"Can't we just screw each other's brains out and get it over with?" Tai pleaded, looking up at Mimi-chan with big brown eyes.
"Nuh-uh," Mimi-chan said, shaking her head. "We're going to do this properly."
Sora sat down on the edge of Mimi-chan's bed, looking worried. "Do we...have to?"
"Yes," Mimi-chan said firmly, returning to her keyboard. "All right, first chapter -- Sora, you have to hit onto one of the guys."
"Which one?" the redhead asked, raising an eyebrow at her two male friends.
"Hmmm. The one that the author likes the most, so in this case, Matt."
"Jeez, thanks!" Tai sulked.
"Uh..." Sora turned pink. "Um...how do I go about that?"
Mimi-chan sighed. "Just read your lines," she said, handing a freshly-printed sheet of paper to each DigiDestined.
"Uh...okay. Matt, we've been freunds--freunds?"
"It's just a typo, keep reading!"
"Oh...Matt, we've been friends for such a long time now. Don't you think it's time we...strengthened...our relationship? Er...Matt, that's your cue. Matt!"
The blonde musician in question was admiring Mimi-chan's flat stereo that was mounted on the wall, and had discovered, much to his delight, that a burned Digimon CD featuring him singing was the current record.
"Kick ass, the chick's got taste--"
"MATT! YOUR LINES, IF YOU PLEASE!!" Mimi-chan yelled, the blood vessels in her eyeballs swelling like flash-flooded rivers.
"Can't I just check out the sound on th--"
"NO!!!" Mimi-chan barked, turning back to the keyboard, fingers poised to type.
"I don't know what you're talking about Sora what do you mean," Matt replied in a monotone, pulling a face at the back of the author's head.
"Perfect!" Mimi-chan said, fingers flying. "Now, Tai, you read your lines...Tai?"
Tai meanwhile, had pinched the cordless mic from Matt and was seeing how many high pitched, shrieking noises it could make when he held it up to the stereo's speakers.
Mimi-chan sighed irritably. "Earth to Kamiya. Come in Tai!!"
"Eh?" Tai asked, mid-squeal from the mic.
"Lines."
"Oh, yeah, right," he said, picking up his copy and dropping the microphone in Sora's lap. "Uh...Tai walks in on Matt and Sora's conv--"
"The lines, you idiot, not the stage directions!"
"Oh, sorry! Um...Hi Sora, hi Matt (eyes soften when talking to Matt)."
Mimi-chan groaned loudly, bashing her head against the keyboard. Sora giggled hysterically.
Matt proceeded to read his next line. "Hi there Tai, wassup?...wassup?!"
"You're the stereotypical 'cool one'," Mimi-chan said, waving one of her hands expansively, the other hand still typing. "You say stuff like that."
"It sounds like I've been watching freaking MTV!"
"Just read your lines, pretty boy."
"Hey there, Tai, wassup?"
Tai squinted at his copy of the sheet. "Uh...Tai smiles--"
"Below that!" Sora giggled.
"Not much. Sora and I were just chatting, right Sora?"
Sora gasped out between each shriek of mirth. "Right!" The script instructed her to narrow her eyes menacingly at Tai, but she was simply giggling too hard.
Mimi-chan sighed. "I guess that'll have to do. Chapter one -- out of the way."
"That was hard," Tai remarked.
" 'S not the only thing that'll be hard by the end of this," Matt muttered, and Sora proceeded to burst into fits of unstoppable laughter and roll off Mimi-chan's bed, tears of amusement streaking down her face.
Mimi-chan professionally ignored the merriment behind her, and kept typing. "Affection between males established -- check. Seeds of jealousy planted in female -- check."
Sora, still giggling slightly, composed herself. "Now what?"
Mimi-chan switched the computer screen off. "We go for a soda. All this typing has made my brain hurt."
"Your what?" Matt inquired with mock politeness, which cause Sora's giggles to return, Tai to chuckle, and Mimi-chan to smack him over the head with one of the phonebooks that were sitting atop of her scanner.
"You watch it, buddy -- remember, we're only on the first chapter and while I'm your author, CALL ME GODDESS!! This is a yaoi, and you're at MY COMMAND!!"
"Goddess!" Matt yelped, falling to his knees as author and characters exited the computer room -- for a while.
[a.n.]
Um...I'm not quite sure what to say, except, nobody be offended.
**giggles** This is all just a bit of fun, y'know?