Mimi-chan, all revved up and ready to write the next chapter of her typical yaoi, dragged her three characters into her computer room once again and sat down, ready to type.
"Righty-o, people, in this chapter, Matt and Tai have to start falling in deep and passionate love with each other, and Sora's jealous and mad."
"Who's making deep passionate love to Sora's callous dad?" Tai, who hadn't really been listening, asked.
Sora made a face that could only be described as "disgusted out of my mind" and slapped Tai upside the head.
"Thankyou for that mental picture," Matt said pointedly.
Mimi-chan, meanwhile, was twitching in that anime way that meant she was, a) about to explode, or b) extremely annoyed.Unfortunately for our slightly deaf, big-haired harlot, it was both.
"Tai."
"Mimi-chan?"
"Read your lines before I decide to rip your ribcage out and wear it as a hat, kapiche?"
"Um..." Tai giggled nervously. "Scene, night, forest, Tai and Matt are walking along, not quite holding hands--"
"Tai," Mimi-chan said, her voice far, far too calm. "I reiterate what I said about your ribcage."
Sora hurriedly pointed out the soccer jock's lines for him, looking visibly worried.
"Um...aren't the stars beautiful, Matt?"
"Yeah, they are," Matt said, smiling softly. He figured that as long as he was stuck doing this, he might as well do it well. And besides, he and Tai might be able to share a kiss with actual feeling in it somewhere.
Sora grinned, pulling up a chair next to Mimi-chan and watching. "Are they going to kiss in this chapter?"
"No, but they're going to screw like rabbits in the ne--heeyyy, wait a minute!" The author blinked at Sora. "Since when do you like shounen ai?!"
Sora blinked back. "Um...since I'm a typical teenage girl, just like you? Well...sort of like you...except...well...lacking the psychotic part..."
"I'll ignore that and point taken," Mimi-chan nodded and resumed typing.
"They...um..." Tai stopped, squinting at his lines. "They...I don't know because this looks like Japanese!"
Matt scratched his head. "But...we are Japanese."
"Of course, stupid," Mimi-chan said. "This is a typical Digimon yaoi. You must say things in random Japanese, never mind how stupid it sounds, or that most of the readers have no idea what it means!"
Tai scratched his head and tried to keep reading. "Um...they're so kirei..."
"Kirei means 'pretty'," Matt supplied.
"They're so kree-ay, just like your eyes," Tai stumbled over the line, which caused Sora to fall into another fit of giggles.
"Make them hurry up!" she giggled. "If they don't finish this scene soon, I think I'm going to wet myself!"
"And I'm gonna puke," Matt said, sweatdropping.
"Just read your lines," Mimi-chan ordered, trying hard not to giggle herself.
"Er, right. Tai? Did you say something about my eyes?"
Tai nodded. "Yeah, a few lines back." Sora fell off her seat with laughter and rushed out of the room.
"Bathroom's down the hall, second left," Mimi-chan called after her, shooting Tai a Death Glare (tm).
"Tai, for the love of everything sacred, please keep your mind on your lines!" Matt pleaded with his friend.
"Okay, okay," Tai said, suppressing a laugh. "Um...anyway. 'No, Matt...you must have misheard...I didn't say a thing about your eyes...'" He actually managed to blush, although he just didn't have the right self-concious air.
"Tai couldn't be self-concious if he was walking down the main street of Odaiba butt nekkid with a rose up his arse," Matt said matter-of-factly, leaning back in Mimi-chan's deskchair. "Why the heck is he required to be self-concious?!"
"'Cause that's what he does in this fic," Mimi-chan said in the tone of voice that one uses with a very stupid two-year-old who just can't understand why you're not supposed to draw on the walls.
"But...that's totally out of character!" The blonde protested.
"So?" Mimi-chan threw her arms into the air. "This is a typical Digimon yaoi! Characterisation can go to Mordor, for all the author's supposed to care!"
"There's also a rule somewhere that says 'no Lord Of The Rings references in typical Digimon yaoi'," Sora said, popping back into the room.
"Since when?" Mimi-chan muttered, more to the computer screen than anything else. "Good to have you back, Sora. Now you have to glare at the two lovebirds from behind and tree and 'silently seethe with jealousy', okies?"
Sora nodded seriously, took a deep breath, and proceeded to silently seethe with jealousy.
"Sora!" Mimi-chan cried, exasperated. "You're supposed to be seething with jealousy, not looking like you want the two of them to kiss!!"
Sora looked dismayed. "But I do want to the two of them to kiss..."
"Yes, yes, I know, but you're supposed to be out of character!!"
Sora once again tried to seethe.
"Sure, I'll come to your birthday party, Sora!" Tai said perkily, which caused Matt to start snickering and throw wadded up pieces of paper at the screeching author's head.
"Jeez, Mimi-chan, your first typical yaoi is really starting to suck."
"I can't help it that I'm used to working with you at least a little bit in character!" Mimi-chan wailed, smashing her head against the monitor. Sora patted her shoulder comfortingly.
"Well, when your jealous girl can't seethe and your boys are being themselves--" Sora ducked as a piece of paper flew perilously close to her head. "--there's only one thing to do."
"And what's that?" Mimi-chan sniffled, looking up into the redhead's chianti eyes hopefully.
"Go grab some more soda," Sora nodded, and dragged the miserable author and her two co-stars out of the room, leaving it empty -- for now, at least.