Disclaimer: I own diddly squat, except for Midori (me) and Hana Murasaki. Please, don't sue me, for it would be pointless, as all I have in my purse is roughly six bucks and some breathmints.
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"Okay, Harry. Can you tell me what Miss Vengeful Queen looked like" Midori asked quietly as they arrived at the cave entrance.
"Wavy purple hair, green eyes, green clothing, kinda shapely..." Harry smiled at the last part.
"Baka hentai..."
"Well, she was!"
"Either way, you two have to stay out here. She's a man-hater, so she'd probably come down on all of us if you came in. Now stay put or I won't help you," the adolescent girl lectured them.
"Yes, ma'am," they agreed obediently.
"Now, I have to make it obvious to her that I'm female," she began as she undid a few of the top buttons on her shirt. "Or else she'll mistake me for a guy and set her wrath towards me."
Harry began to brush out her hair, making in shiny and curly. Ron let her borrow a necklace. At the sight of the slightly effeminate brothers, Midori sweatdropped. She acted more like a guy than they did.
"I guess I'm ready," she commented uncertainly as she started into the cave, with the most girly, mincing walk she could manage.
When she was out of sight of the guys, she began to tremble slightly.
"Miss Queen Lady? Are you home?" she called in a high-pitched, but not chipmunk-ish voice.
"Who goes there?" a voice growled from the very heart of the darkness.
"Merely some girl here on business."
A few candles were lit, and they revealed a voluptuous woman with wavy purple hair and green eyes in a green dress and slippers, eating cookies and looking sulky. She was not quite as Harry had mentioned.
"Um... Hi," Midori greeted her, a bit confused.
"What do you want?"
"My friend... you took away his sight and I agreed to help him get it back. Could you maybe please return it to him?"
"Why should I?" the woman grumped.
"Well, he's not really my friend. He kidnapped me, thinking I was somebody else, and I promised to help him get his eyesight back if he let me go," she explained.
"Do you even know why I'm so hateful towards men?"
"No... Could you tell me?"
"You mean you'd like to hear it? Of course I'll tell you!" the woman exclaimed.
She snapped her fingers and a table with a tea set and a plate of cookies on it appeared in front of her, with an extra chair. Midori sat down across from the strange lady.
"First of all, my name is Hana Murasaki. I was once a normal girl, working as a waitress at the hotel bar. That was three years ago. Then, one day, a man with bright red hair and blue eyes visited the hotel. He said some charming words, and managed to get me into bed. The next morning, I woke up alone in bed. I got dressed and went down to start working, when I saw him with his arm around another girl, heading up to his room.
"That day, I swore off men and ran off to this cave, where I learned how to use some scattered bits of magic. The locals nicknamed me the Angry Dryad, which annoyed me further. They tried to make me into a tourist trap, which motivated me to learn some more aggressive magic, which I used to preserve my privacy."
"That red-haired man... Did he have two scars on his cheek?"
"Yes. Why, do you know him?"
"Don't feel bad about him doing that to you! His name is Gene Starwind, and he's just a big jerk most of the time. He does the same thing to a lot of girls. All you have to do is kick him where it counts!"
"How do you know him? Did he do it to you, too?"
"Of course not! I'm too young, and I already have my sights set on his younger, sweeter, more intelligent partner, Jim!"
"Could I.. have his address? You know, so I can kick him?"
"Sure!" Midori agreed, handing her a Starwind and Hawking business card.
"Thanks!"
"No, Hana-chan, about getting Harry's eyesight back..."
"Oh, right!" she began, handing her a little eyedrops bottle. "Just give him one drop in each eye. It'll hurt like hell, but he'll be better right away!"
"Thanks! Come visit us sometime!"
"I will if you will!"
"Don't worry, I will!"
"Goodbye!"
"See you later!"
The adolescent almost skipped out of the cave in her happiness.
"Harry-chan! I have something you need!" she exclaimed, waving the eyedrops bottle. "Come here so I can give it you you!"
Obligingly, the violet-eyed man walked over to her.
"Open your eyes and don't scream! This may sting a bit!"
Not taking the warning seriously, he opened both his eyes. Midori squeezed the bottle slightly over each eye, and by the time she was done, Harry was screaming bloody murder.
"Guess how I got it!"
"You stole it?"
"AHHHHHH!!!!! My eyes!"
"No."
"You beat her at a game of chess and she gave it to you?"
"I don't even know how to play chess."
"You fought her for it?"
The aqua-haired psychopath rolled around on the ground, trying to claw his eyes out.
"Nope. Give up yet?"
"Fine..."
"I gave her Gene Starwind's address so she can kick him in the crotch."
"It's a win-win situation!"
"Yes, it is!"
The younger MacDougall brother stopped screaming, rolling, and trying to gouge his optical orbs out with a stick and stood up. He brushed the dirt off of his clothes and looked around.
"I... I can see! I know what Midori looks like now! Midori-chan, you're pretty! Maybe I should forget about Melfina and keep you!"
"Shut up or I'll give you more eyedrops."
"Yes, ma'am."