Chapter 1- Of Pizza's and Men (Cute Men!)
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Authors: Hi! This is our first fanfic on Fanfiction.net,
despite multiple promises to ourselves to submit various half-finished fics of
various descriptions ^^;;; This is a little joint fluff fic written via phone
on the last day of holidays for all those who love Vincent/Yuffie…The real
purpose of this authors note was that Vincent is just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit
out of character… as in… he makes pottery! But we always thought our
Vincy-wincy was an artistic soul at heart! Aaaaaaaaaah… Vincent goodness…
drool… This is the first offering. It's about pizzas. And Men. And ninjas. And
much breaking of crockery… Just read the damn thing already! ^_^ Oh, and review
us… pleeeeeease… We are sad little people whose lives revolve around YOUR
reviews. Don't be worried about flaming us if it's crap, though… o_~ Oh yeah,
and… *sob* SQUARESOFT OWNS VINCY AND WE DON'T! Same goes for every other
character from FF7…
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The
sea was a soft grey, reflecting the sombre clouds looming above it.
'Is it all… worth it?'
Cold spray splattered over an unflinching
face staring steadily into the horizon. The harsh breeze ruffled an untamed
black mane, momentarily flickering across scarlet eyes deep and full of pain.
For an instant the silhouette's arm was held aloft, details indistinguishable
in the twilight, but something was… wrong. Something about the darkening shape,
the smooth curve, the deadly sick appendages rising almost… mechanically, was
somehow grotesque…Clenched in the grip of this unnerving limb was a tiny scrap
of material, worn and grimy. On close inspection, the cloth might have been
thought to once have held a pattern of daisies, but these were now all but lost
under decades of dirt, stains and in dark brown splashes the unmistakable
traces of blood.
'Lucrecia…'
Suddenly, his deep reflective mood was
interrupted by an enormous bundle of noise and energy in the form of a teenage
girl jumping on him from behind in a mass of limbs and armour.
'HI VINCY-WINCY!' The girl screamed as she
landed on him. Unprepared for this as he was, he found himself up to his neck
in seawater, gasping and spluttering for air.
'Oh, did you get WET? Poor Vincy-wincy! Bet
you're wondering what I'm doing here, huh? Well you know what? That mean and
awful daddy o' mine chucked me out and said I had to learn responsibility or
something, I wasn't really listening, and none of the others wanted me for some
reason, Cait Sith laughed at me, but you love me, don't ya Vincy-wincy? Ooh,
what are we having for dinner? Pizza? I LOVE pizza! YAY!'
Put under this tirade of hyperactive
excitable babble, poor Vincent didn't stand a chance. He merely stood there
blinking in confusion as the young thief Yuffie continued to talk. What had he
done to deserve this, he wondered. At this rate, he would forget what peace was
entirely. With a sigh, he set down to an evening of listening to Yuffie.
'Wow! Funky place you got here Vincy-wincy!'
yelled the girl as she ran into Vincent's abode of 2 months, causing a few
flakes to fall off the ceiling and multiple small animals to run in terror out
the cave mouth, (luckily) unnoticed by Yuffie. 'You got the whole, like cave
guy thing happening! COOL!' Vincent could only watch in despair as she stormed
his carefully arranged home, knocking over furniture and throwing things around
with gay abandon, and all the time pelting him with an unceasing bombardment of
questions.
'Like, what's this, did ya carve it yourself,
looks awful pretty, oops, you can mend it right? WOW, like an ancienty-type
fireplace thingy, wow, what the hell is that…' came the shrill and breathless
squeaking from somewhere in the interior of his cave. ' Like, WHAT is THIS? Do you
reckon it could, like, hold my weight?'
'Wait, no…' For the first time in months,
Vincent broke into a full run, dashing desperately to the corner that served as
his kitchen. He was just in time to hear an abominably loud crash, such as
would be made by twenty pieces of crockery breaking simultaneously, and ran in
to see a decidedly dusty Yuffie sprawled on the floor surrounded by the remains
of his delicately handcrafted clay plates, cups and bowls.
'Oops…' She coughed, oblivious to the look of
horror in Vincent's eyes as he knelt among the pieces. 'They were kinda nice,
huh?' she said, picking up one ornately sculpted shard. Vincent said nothing.
'Oh well!' she cried, chucking the white clay over her shoulder, only half
looking around at the resulting crash. 'Serves ya right for not making strong
shelves! COME ON!'
She jumped to her feet and dived down to grab
his hand, only to rapidly pull back her arm as she was confronted with his
claw. Fear showed briefly in her eyes but was gone in another second as she
grabbed his free arm and dragged him, stumbling, to explore the rest of his
home.
'Wow! What a neat
little sculpture thing you got here! How long did THIS one take you to make?
Must of taken AGES… Oops! Oh well, guess you can make another one, right?'
Yuffie babbled as she successfully saw and destroyed yet another handcrafted
sculpture Vincent had worked on for months. 'I didn't know you were so
ARTISTIC! Who would have thought you were more than just a freaky face?' Not
even noticing that last comment, Vincent looked on in horrified despair as he
watched her run around his cave like some kind of human cyclone, displaying her
usual relaxed attitude about the importance of other people's possessions.
When she had
finally finished in her spree of destruction, she looked at her surroundings
critically. 'Kind of messy, huh?' Spinning around, she pounced on a pile of
furs in the corner. 'Hey, can I sleep here? Cool, thanks Vincy-wincy! Yay!'
Burying herself deep within the Behemoth hides, she turned Vincent with a happy
look on her face.
'When's the pizza
coming? Do they like deliver here or what? Can I get Meat lovers? And Ham and
Pineapple? And a Super Supreme? And, and, and, a Chocobo deal, with garlic
bread? You get a free materia with every meal!' Here the ninja began to drool
at the thought of her two favourite subjects, food and materia, combined so
deliciously. She brightened visibly. 'Oh yeah, and I want a Vegetarian as
well!'
Vincent didn't
bother explaining to her that she had just taken his bed, nor did he tell her
he couldn't afford that many pizzas, especially not large which experience had
taught him she would be demanding. Long
years of experience with Yuffie had also taught him that to argue would futile.
Instead, he just stood there and refused to move. There was a pause in which he
avoided her gaze. Yuffie took a deep breath and began to yell.
'You ARE gonna
get them for me, right? ……………. YOU'RE NOT, YOU DON'T LOVE ME EITHER
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' She screamed as she sprang out of the furs to give her voice
opportunity to reach its full pitch and potential.
'YOU'RE JUST
GONNA ABANDON ME LIKE ALL THE OTHERS! HOW COULD YOU?!' She took a step towards
the shocked and wincing Vincent, staring in anger with hot tear-filled eyes she
continued.
'AND NOW YOU'VE
MADE ME CRY! NOBODY LOVES ME…WAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAA!'
Normally Vincent
would distraught by this display, but he had sat through many of Yuffie's
identical tantrums that he was wondering whether they had lost their effect.
Suddenly he shuddered as Yuffie's shrieking reached brand new heights.
'Urgh…' He
clutched head in pain as Yuffie proceeded to burst his eardrums. They still had
their effect…
'NOBODY WANTS ME
AND YOU'RE JUST SO TERRIBLE AND WAH HAH HAAAAAAAA!' With a final wail, the
hormonal teenage thief sank to her knees and collapsed, kicking and screaming
on the sandy cave floor. Without a word, Vincent turned around and walked out
of the cave. After a while, a small brown head popped up and yelled after his
receding figure.
'So, was that
like a YES?'
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With
that, the first chapter ends. But the question still remains- WILL HE OR WILL
HE NOT GET THE PIZZAS?! Hey, don't be
surprised, we SAID it was fluff! Find out in the next chapter (and yes this
thing actually has a cohesive plot), full of Vincy, Chocobos and a very pissed
off ninja- Coming soon, VINCY'S A PERVERT (in loud and annoying tones)
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