Chapter 4- All Hell Breaks Loose in amusing and painful…
Ways
+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
WHOO HOO! No, Selphie has
not taken over the fic- the fic is officially safe from Selphie. (unless we're
feeling random ^_^) The reason for this great and indescribable joy is… We
have… A NEW CHAPTER!!!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GODS KNOW HOW LONG!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Er… excuse us for that little lapse of sanity. We have waited,
have waited so long. We have discussed during classes what will happen with
great anticipation. We have made up new, cruel and horribly unusual tortures
for our little Vincy-wincy. They tried to give us tests, THEY TRIED TO MAKE US
STUDY, and… we did… ^ ^;;; That left us no time for the fic. But now, we have NO
MORE TESTS, and… DE DE DUM! Holidays are here! Fic, HERE WE COME! We won't tell
you what's in this chapter other than the Vincent torture. After being put
through so much to write it, we wish to put you through something similar… ^_^
Actually, it's a pathetic attempt at revenge for you, the great and almighty
reader, haven't actually done. So, don't mind us. And also…
We apologise. WE'RE SORRY
WE'RE SORRY WE'RE SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT- now it's here, so… READ ON!
+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
'AAAAAAAAAAAH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? VINCY'S A PERVERT!'
Vincent recoiled
in shock, jerking back his head from the sudden blast of noise. He had no idea
what was going on, and was about to say so when he suddenly realised exactly
what position he was in. It was a very compromising position, to say the least.
Immediately the pale face turned bright red. '…I-'
'WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?' Without another
word, Vincent was swiftly and violently ejected by means of a solid kick to the
stomach. As Vincent staggered backwards, he was vaguely aware through the pain
of Yuffie's furiously shrieking.
'Damn, missed!'
Scrambling to his feet, various confused
thoughts raced through Vincent's mind. WHAT was going on? HOW did this happen?
Here the mental tone became increasingly more frantic. WHY was there a Chocobo
in his cave? SINCE WHEN- Another swift kick to the rear sent him sprawling down
among the pizza slices now scattered on the floor. Snatching up a pillow,
Yuffie chased after him and proceeded to beat him with it, punctuating her
blows with enraged shouts. 'HOW… DID… THIS… HAPPEN?' She screamed in perfect
imitation of Vincent's previous thoughts.
Oh my gawd! Thus were the words
chasing through the thief's mind as the pillow rained down her wrath upon the
helpless Vincent's head. Like, nothing like this had EVER happened to Yuffie
before… and she was pretty sure this was the way you were supposed to act-
wasn't it? Oh well, like it mattered. This was kinda fun… Anyways, like Vincent
even knew about that stuff! Besides- she had caught him LYING ON TOP OF HER! If
that wasn't sus, WHAT WAS? Righteous indignation filling every vein of her
teenage body she grinned with evil satisfaction at the yelp issued from Vincent
accompanying her latest whack. Hey- Vincent wasn't being fun… He should of
started protesting his innocence by now. Then I can get him to confess his
guilt, and then… and then…lets just see what he thinks about THAT!
Vincent wasn't thinking too much at the
moment, except for how much a pillow could hurt when sufficient force was
applied to striking one repeatedly over the head. Flailing wildly to protect
himself from the thief's terrible retribution, Vincent was being forced
backwards.
Vincent was still (barely) conscious enough
to wonder why the hitherto bearable pain had suddenly intensified. Vincent
winced as his back hit the wall, slumping against it for much-needed support.
His crimson eyes snapped open with shock as his claw came into contact with
something soft, warm and squishy.
Chocobos don't tend to be too well endowed on
the intelligence side of things. Despite living through multiple materia raids,
escapes and frequent tantrums, Yuffie's Chocobo was no exception. This
statement was proved by the fact it had not yet run away from its unruly
mistress, and this furthered by the even more conclusive evidence that it had
not escaped from its aforesaid unruly mistress in her current state. This
Chocobo did, however, have a breaking point. This breaking point was reached when
something large, metallic and spiky stabbed it in its sensitive region of its
tail feathers, an area generally associated with the attack of other sparring
Chocobo males. Chocobos have many basic instincts, one of which being that if
someone pecks you in the tail feathers, you peck back. Harder. Much harder.
When Yuffie's anger had first erupted,
Vincent had thought that all hell had broken lose. He was in fact wrong. All
hell broke lose round about now. Any previous rage directed at him paled in
comparison to what he was about to experience. Imagine you were to sleep on a
bed of sharp, pointy nails. Times the pain by 10, and add to the image being
whacked in the head by two more spiky beds. You may possibly be coming close to
how Vincent felt at the current moment.
In the cave, there was one, huge, greatly
enraged Chocobo that felt its dominance was being questioned. There was also a
screaming, hysterical and very pissed off ninja who didn't have any idea in
hell what was going on, but somehow knew that in some way Vincent was at blame,
and if she ever managed to escape this torture with her life, she was going to
make that VERY clear to him.
This section of the cave also had a couple of
chairs, hand-hewn shelves, a table, etc, but they didn't last very long. Their
destruction didn't really occupy the space in anybody's mind, however, as they
all had far more important things to worry about. And in the midst of it all,
there was Vincent. Poor, downtrodden, bewildered and confused Vincent. Vincent
had just about had enough. So when he saw the Chocobo heading toward the fire
in a blind rage, he wasn't particularly sympathetic.
WHERE IS HE? WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY IS THE
CHOCOBO GOING PHYCO? VINCENT IS SURE GONNA PAY FOR THIS! I know that bringing
the Chocobo inside was probably a mistake, but this is completely ruining my
cute, Shoujo, getting pissed off scene- An inhuman shriek jolted Yuffie's
usually uninterruptible train of thought; and the fast reflexes of a ninja
caused her to jerk her head around. Suddenly her instincts seemed to fail her,
as the hideous smell of smouldering feathers infiltrated her nostrils,
smothering her senses. For a while, it was all she could think of. Then,
through the smoke that stung her eyes, a shape came into focus- and she could
finally comprehend what was happening around her. That the shape, rushing at
her, limping and spasming in a way that just very wrong, was…
Mr
Boki…
Time seemed unperceivably slow as the next
few events unfolded before her horrified brown eyes. Frozen in a state of
shock, she could only stare as the massive Chocobo charged towards her. He was
near enough for her to pick out the grotesque details… The whites of Mr Boki's
eyeballs rolling wildly in his skull, the indescribable pain clear… The slight but
sickening frothing at the edge of his beak… And held out unnaturally at the
giant bird's side, the charred, black, bloody, raw foot, a shrivelled claw
dangling by only a tendon onto the unrecognisable stump. Despite the
havoc-filled situation, Yuffie found herself shuddering at this bloody mess
somehow filled up her range of vision. It seemed to be far away, but a part of
her knew that it would be there any second, and tiny voice of lasting sanity
told her; you're going to die. It's going to kill you. You're going to be gored
upon its beak. That beak…if you think about, it has such a cruelly hooked
end to it. I
never really noticed it before… Then, as the realisation hit her, a thought came
unbidden to her mind, almost calmly. I wish I'd said goodbye to dad… and…
poor Vincent…
Without knowing she was doing it, Yuffie
screamed.
+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
Ooh! Cliffhanger! And, thank gods, you wait who knows how
long for the next one this time. So, what's gonna happen to Yuffers? What do
you think? Who votes she gets impaled? *All put up their hands and run off with
Vincent* Damn… Maybe that wasn't such a good idea… We wanted him for ourselves!
And… about the fire. A certain annoying little sister complained that poor Mr
Boki could not possibly be so horribly burned (trust a sister to think of
something like that!) Um… It was a really, really HOT fire, okay? Vincent used
it to… um… to fire his pottery (the pottery returns once more!) In the next chapter, there will be… Charades!
And inanimate objects dancing! Now you don't know whether we're lying or not,
do you? And, we guess we MAY have to save Yuffie. Maybe. Possibly. AND NO, THAT'S
NOT YOUR CHOICE ANYMORE! ^_^
+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
