Disclaimers: "The West Wing" and all its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers, and all the other brilliant people involved. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just paying homage.
Author's Note: This is my first WW fic. I just wanted to see if I could write one. No real plot, just some Josh and Donna bantering about an actual project I learned about in my archaeology class. Questions, distribution email me at fredobsessed13@aol.com And my apologies about the title; I couldn't think of anything else.
GARBAGE PEOPLE
***
"DON-NA!" Josh yelled from his office.
"Yes, Joshua," Donna replied with forced calmness, appearing at his door.
He stood behind his desk, tired and aggravated, shirtsleeves rolled up, tie pulled down from around his neck. "Where's the stats the Justice Department faxed over about the thing?"
"On your desk."
"Where on my desk?"
"Somewhere under that pile of papers you love to keep for decorative purposes." She smiled.
"I'll have you know that I am aware of every single file that is on my desk."
"Except for the Justice fax," she retorted.
"Donna." He scrunched up his face and rubbed his fingers over his eyebrows, losing what little patience he had left.
Donna, quite deftly, leaned against the desk and picked up the correct paper she had placed there not ten minutes ago. Josh looked up at her with hidden awe.
"Thank you."
"And you have that meeting with the garbage people at 11," she said as quickly as possible before walking back to the bullpen.
"Donna!" Josh raised his voice.
Peeking her head beyond the door, she responded innocently, "Yes?"
"Garbage people?" he asked in disbelief.
"Yes."
"Okay, I'm gonna need more than just 'garbage people,'" he said, raising his arms. "Are they people made from actual garbage or do they just have an unnatural fondness for the stuff?"
"You don't remember." She stepped back into the office.
"Remember what?"
"Last week when you got a message from them asking for a meeting."
Donna's happy eyes were met by a blank stare.
"The garbage people," she repeated.
"Saying it ten thousand times is not going to help!"
"Josh, do you ever listen when I tell you things?" she inquired, folding her arms.
"Sometimes."
"Doubtful."
"Donna."
"They wanted to schedule a meeting with you but you didn't want to take the time to look into what they were about so you told me not to set up a meeting."
"Then why am I having a meeting with them?"
"Because I set up a meeting with them." She bit her lip and waited for Josh's surely fiery reaction.
"What the hell?" he exploded.
Trying to get the words out, she said, "I looked into them and they - "
"I'm not taking the meeting, Donna! I swear, I'm not taking it!"
"Josh!"
"It's not even Big Block of Cheese Day, and I have to deal with garbage weirdos," he shouted to no one in particular.
Noticing that some people had stopped what they were doing outside, she closed the door and started, "You can't just criticize people you know nothing about, people who, by the way, are part of an invaluable research and education team that has influential pull with the U.S.D.A., the National Recycling League, the Food and Nutrition Association, not to mention the Department of Health and Human Services and a number of members of Congress.
"O-kay. I never knew garbage could have such an effect on a person," he said slowly.
"I bet there's a lot you never knew about garbage."
"Like what?" he asked, playing along with her.
"Like did you know that almost seventy per cent of trash ends up in one of the country's five thousand landfills and that it costs more than $15 billion a year to run those landfills?"
"I did in fact... not know that. How do you know that?" He wouldn't admit it, even to himself, but Donna's ramblings were beginning to intrigue him.
"Because I took the time, Josh. I took the time."
"That still doesn't explain why I have to take precious time out my amazingly hectic life to sit down and talk to these people about garbage," he feebly tried to get himself out of it.
"Because garbage is important, Josh."
"Garbage is important? Frankly, I'm almost terrified to ask why."
"Have you ever heard of ethno-archaeology?"
"Was it in any of the Indiana Jones movies?"
"No," she said simply.
"Then, no, I've never heard of it."
"It's when anthropologists take the tools and methods normally employed for studying ancient civilizations and archaeological sites and use them to learn more about modern day life," Donna declared rapidly.
"Did you even take a breath when you said that?"
"You impressed?" She smiled again with subdued enthusiasm.
"So what you're saying is they dig up garbage and try to piece together how the people of today live? Don't we already know how people today live? Why do we need garbage to tell us?"
"First of all, they don't dig up garbage. Well, they do sometimes, in landfills, but it's mostly garbage taken off the curb before the truck comes by. Then it gets sorted and weighed and recorded. Second of all, a lot of surveying processes of household behavior is not as effective as the random and non-intrusive practices of the studying of garbage. It gives a more accurate portrayal of everyday life you wouldn't get if you took a poll about, say, how many apples a family of four eats in week. The apple cores in the garbage can tell you how many apples were eaten. Plus, the results of the garbage study help the government with making public policy, like welfare in certain regions, and lets private industry know what consumers are doing with their products." She proudly took a long breath.
"Okay, now I'm impressed. When do you even have time to look into all this stuff? Do I not give you enough things to do to occupy you during working hours?"
"It was in my archaeology book."
"You have an archaeology book?"
"Yes," she said seriously.
"What are you doing with an archaeology book?"
"I do own books, Josh."
"Donna - " He hadn't meant to offend her. He knew how smart she was.
"For a while back in Wisconsin, I thought I might major in archaeology. It seemed like an exciting and fulfilling career."
Knowing Donna as well as he did, though, he knew there was more to it. "And?"
"And...my archaeology professor was hot."
"Ah, yes. Donnatella Moss and the Legend of the Lost Cup of Coffee."
"So will you meet with them?"
"The garbage people? What do they want?"
"Just some extended budgets, access to more areas in the Southwest, a larger outlet to promote their work, something to add to the next census, basic stuff."
"I'll see what I can do."
"That means yes?" she asked, almost triumphantly.
"Yeah. I've never met a real live archaeologist before."
"Thanks, Josh." She started to leave.
"Hey, Donna. How many other meetings do I go on that I told you not to but you set up anyway?"
With a beautiful shine in her eyes she replied, "I guess you'll never know."
From her desk for the next few minutes, she could hear Josh mumbling to himself.
"Donnatella Moss and the File Cabinet of Doom. The Quest for the Missing Paper Clip. The Search for the Lost Treasures of..."
Donna smiled to herself and returned to the open file on her desk.
Author's Note: This is my first WW fic. I just wanted to see if I could write one. No real plot, just some Josh and Donna bantering about an actual project I learned about in my archaeology class. Questions, distribution email me at fredobsessed13@aol.com And my apologies about the title; I couldn't think of anything else.
GARBAGE PEOPLE
***
"DON-NA!" Josh yelled from his office.
"Yes, Joshua," Donna replied with forced calmness, appearing at his door.
He stood behind his desk, tired and aggravated, shirtsleeves rolled up, tie pulled down from around his neck. "Where's the stats the Justice Department faxed over about the thing?"
"On your desk."
"Where on my desk?"
"Somewhere under that pile of papers you love to keep for decorative purposes." She smiled.
"I'll have you know that I am aware of every single file that is on my desk."
"Except for the Justice fax," she retorted.
"Donna." He scrunched up his face and rubbed his fingers over his eyebrows, losing what little patience he had left.
Donna, quite deftly, leaned against the desk and picked up the correct paper she had placed there not ten minutes ago. Josh looked up at her with hidden awe.
"Thank you."
"And you have that meeting with the garbage people at 11," she said as quickly as possible before walking back to the bullpen.
"Donna!" Josh raised his voice.
Peeking her head beyond the door, she responded innocently, "Yes?"
"Garbage people?" he asked in disbelief.
"Yes."
"Okay, I'm gonna need more than just 'garbage people,'" he said, raising his arms. "Are they people made from actual garbage or do they just have an unnatural fondness for the stuff?"
"You don't remember." She stepped back into the office.
"Remember what?"
"Last week when you got a message from them asking for a meeting."
Donna's happy eyes were met by a blank stare.
"The garbage people," she repeated.
"Saying it ten thousand times is not going to help!"
"Josh, do you ever listen when I tell you things?" she inquired, folding her arms.
"Sometimes."
"Doubtful."
"Donna."
"They wanted to schedule a meeting with you but you didn't want to take the time to look into what they were about so you told me not to set up a meeting."
"Then why am I having a meeting with them?"
"Because I set up a meeting with them." She bit her lip and waited for Josh's surely fiery reaction.
"What the hell?" he exploded.
Trying to get the words out, she said, "I looked into them and they - "
"I'm not taking the meeting, Donna! I swear, I'm not taking it!"
"Josh!"
"It's not even Big Block of Cheese Day, and I have to deal with garbage weirdos," he shouted to no one in particular.
Noticing that some people had stopped what they were doing outside, she closed the door and started, "You can't just criticize people you know nothing about, people who, by the way, are part of an invaluable research and education team that has influential pull with the U.S.D.A., the National Recycling League, the Food and Nutrition Association, not to mention the Department of Health and Human Services and a number of members of Congress.
"O-kay. I never knew garbage could have such an effect on a person," he said slowly.
"I bet there's a lot you never knew about garbage."
"Like what?" he asked, playing along with her.
"Like did you know that almost seventy per cent of trash ends up in one of the country's five thousand landfills and that it costs more than $15 billion a year to run those landfills?"
"I did in fact... not know that. How do you know that?" He wouldn't admit it, even to himself, but Donna's ramblings were beginning to intrigue him.
"Because I took the time, Josh. I took the time."
"That still doesn't explain why I have to take precious time out my amazingly hectic life to sit down and talk to these people about garbage," he feebly tried to get himself out of it.
"Because garbage is important, Josh."
"Garbage is important? Frankly, I'm almost terrified to ask why."
"Have you ever heard of ethno-archaeology?"
"Was it in any of the Indiana Jones movies?"
"No," she said simply.
"Then, no, I've never heard of it."
"It's when anthropologists take the tools and methods normally employed for studying ancient civilizations and archaeological sites and use them to learn more about modern day life," Donna declared rapidly.
"Did you even take a breath when you said that?"
"You impressed?" She smiled again with subdued enthusiasm.
"So what you're saying is they dig up garbage and try to piece together how the people of today live? Don't we already know how people today live? Why do we need garbage to tell us?"
"First of all, they don't dig up garbage. Well, they do sometimes, in landfills, but it's mostly garbage taken off the curb before the truck comes by. Then it gets sorted and weighed and recorded. Second of all, a lot of surveying processes of household behavior is not as effective as the random and non-intrusive practices of the studying of garbage. It gives a more accurate portrayal of everyday life you wouldn't get if you took a poll about, say, how many apples a family of four eats in week. The apple cores in the garbage can tell you how many apples were eaten. Plus, the results of the garbage study help the government with making public policy, like welfare in certain regions, and lets private industry know what consumers are doing with their products." She proudly took a long breath.
"Okay, now I'm impressed. When do you even have time to look into all this stuff? Do I not give you enough things to do to occupy you during working hours?"
"It was in my archaeology book."
"You have an archaeology book?"
"Yes," she said seriously.
"What are you doing with an archaeology book?"
"I do own books, Josh."
"Donna - " He hadn't meant to offend her. He knew how smart she was.
"For a while back in Wisconsin, I thought I might major in archaeology. It seemed like an exciting and fulfilling career."
Knowing Donna as well as he did, though, he knew there was more to it. "And?"
"And...my archaeology professor was hot."
"Ah, yes. Donnatella Moss and the Legend of the Lost Cup of Coffee."
"So will you meet with them?"
"The garbage people? What do they want?"
"Just some extended budgets, access to more areas in the Southwest, a larger outlet to promote their work, something to add to the next census, basic stuff."
"I'll see what I can do."
"That means yes?" she asked, almost triumphantly.
"Yeah. I've never met a real live archaeologist before."
"Thanks, Josh." She started to leave.
"Hey, Donna. How many other meetings do I go on that I told you not to but you set up anyway?"
With a beautiful shine in her eyes she replied, "I guess you'll never know."
From her desk for the next few minutes, she could hear Josh mumbling to himself.
"Donnatella Moss and the File Cabinet of Doom. The Quest for the Missing Paper Clip. The Search for the Lost Treasures of..."
Donna smiled to herself and returned to the open file on her desk.