Chapter One -
Ami's Solution
by Lady Aishiteru
Peasant: "She turned me into a newt!"
Questioner: "A newt?"
Peasant: sheepishly"......I got better."
REAL Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But I have some nifty sound clips....
~*~ Usagi's P.O.V. ~*~
We had all gathered around Makoto's kitchen table, and I was happily munching on her oatmeal rasin cookies. Everyone else was staring at me...you'd think watching me eat is an event or something. Makoto was grinning from ear to ear, happy that I liked her cookies. But how could I not? They're so good!
"Geez, Usagi, take a breath in between bites!" said Rei, grimacing
I paused just long enough to stick my tongue out at her.
"That's better!"
"Well, I think it's time we got down to business," Ami said matter-of-factly.
"Geez, Ames, this isn't a senshi meeting," moaned Minako.
Ami ignored that comment and continued. "I think we should all offer our suggestions to help Usagi sleep."
Everyone nodded, satisfied with Ami's idea. "Who's going first?" I asked.
"I think I will," said Ami.
"What's your idea?" I asked eagerly. 'Ami's so smart. She has such good ideas. I'm sure she'll be able to help me.'
"My mother says that warm milk usually helps people who have problems sleeping," she said. Her mom's a doctor, and she wants to be one herself someday.
I made a face. "Isn't warm milk for babies?"
Rei looked like she was going to say something, but Minako clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Actually, warm milk will help about anyone sleep. The heating process activates enzymes that will cause sonambulance."
"Could you repeat that, in MY language, please?" I moaned.
"Basically, when it gets hot, something happens to the milk that makes whoever drinks it sleepy."
"Oh."
Makoto shook the basket that held the cookies, indicating that it was empty. "Well, minna, it looks like I'm out of snacks."
"But you always have tons of food!" I said.
"Sorry, you tapped me out."
"Well, it's getting kind of late anyways. Why don't you try Ami's idea tonight, and if that doesn't work, one of us will offer our advice," said Rei.
"Sounds good to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be late for dinner!"
"Dinner? But you just ate!"
I waved Rei off with my hand. "Pfft. I saved some room."
"Geez, you got a second stomach or something?" asked Minako.
I laughed. "When it comes to Mom's fried chicken, yeah!"
After dinner, I played my Sailor V game for a few hours. At 9:00, I brushed my teeth and went straight to bed. Then I remembered the warm milk, and I ran back down the steps, eager to try it out.
I opened the fridge, got out the milk, and poured some in a coffee mug. Then I put it into the microwave and watched the turntable spin it around until I got dizzy. When it was finished, I took the mug out and raised it to my lips. "Bottoms up," I mumbled.
As soon as I drank it, I spat it out. That stuff tasted awful!
"Don't make a mess on the floor, dear," warned Mom.
"I won't."
I squared off against the foul brew, making a face. 'I have to drink this stuff....if I want to sleep tonight,' I thought.
I searched through the cabinet for something to make it taste better. After a minute of searching, I pulled out a stout canister with the label worn off. I pried off the lid and saw with satisfaction that the stuff inside was indeed brown. 'Smells a bit strong for cocoa...oh well.'
I took a generous spoonful of cocoa and stirred it into the milk. Frowning, I brought the vile cup to my lips again. It was strong, but sweet. It tasted like cigarette butts at first, but after my first sip, the stuff got really good. 'Gee, if I drink another cup, I'll be in dreamland in no time! I thought. So I watched the cup spin in the microwave a second time, stirred in the chocolate and gulped down the milk. Ah, that's good stuff!'
And it was. I couldn't get enough of it. The stuff was delicious! I repeated the process three more times, gulping down the heavenly liquid.
I went up to bed after rinsing out my mouth a bit. But as soon as I crawled under the covers, my eyes snapped open. Suddenly, I had tons of energy. I got up and decided to go for a walk. Yes, that will calm me down.
Luna opened a bleary eye and looked me up and down. "Where do you think YOU'RE going?" she asked.
"Out for a walk," I said.
"Phew! You have coffee breath!"
"Nonsense. I had chocolate milk!"
"Whatever you say," she said, and went back to sleep.
~*~ Mamoru's P.O.V. ~*~
I tossed and turned for who knows how long, then I gave up and got up. Sighing, I decided to stand on the balcony for awhile. I like the view on my balcony. I can see the whole city from there.
I looked out and stared at the lights in the city, which rivaled the stars in the sky. I could smell the cool, crisp air, and that made me feel a little better. I pondered what I could do to help myself sleep, then an idea hit me. 'I'll listen to a tape of that windbag Physics teacher, Mr. Cyprus. That always puts me to sleep.'
Smiling at my own brilliance, I scurried to find the tape player. Soon, I pulled it out, along with one of Mr. Cyprus's tapes. I set the tape on the balcony and pushed play.
Soon, his dull monotone filled the air, and I sat down in my favorite spot. I listened to the basics of Quantum Physics for half an hour, but even his ramblings failed to put me to sleep.
Just as I pushed the stop button, I noticed a pair of odangos moving down the sidewalk. Could that be Usagi? What's she doing out at this hour?' I wondered.
~*~ Usagi's P.O.V. ~*~
I had been wandering aimlessly through the streets of Tokyo for about two hours when I heard a voice from behind me
"Hey, Meatball head!"
'Only one person could be THAT rude,' I thought as I turned around to find the source of the voice, and came face to face with a pair of cerulean eyes. I couldn't tell for cetrain, the lighting was horrible, but was he...worried? Nah.
"Mamoru-baka? What are you doing here?"
"I live here."
"On the street? That would explain the pajamas."
"No, if you must know, I live up there," he said, pointing out a balcony.
"Oh," I said sheepishly.
"Have you been drinking coffee?"
"I had some cocoa before I left the house...." I started to say, but then it hit me. The 'cocoa' did look a bit chunky and crystalized, not to mention the smell...."Ah, damn it! I drank..." I counted on my fingers, "five cups of coffee!" I moaned.
He smiled a little. "That would do it. Well, this isn't a good place to be at this hour. Want a ride home?"
"In your pajamas?"
"Nobody will see my pajamas."
I thought about it for a few minutes. Come to think of it, I had to pee, bad. And I didn't really want to go into his apartment...it seemed a bit too...personal. "Okay," I said.
So I got a pajama-clad chauffer back home. "Thanks, Mamoru," I said, purposefully leaving out the "baka" because he had done me a favor.
"Usagi?" he asked as I was almost at the door.
"Yes?"
"Promise me you won't take any more walks at night."
I looked at him, puzzled. 'What does he care what I do at night? It isn't like he's my father or anything,' I thought. But I looked at him more closely, and I saw a flicker of emotion flash across his eyes. Was he worried about my safety?
"Promise me," he repeated.
Something in the way he said that made me want to agree. "Okay. I promise."
His face lit up, all smiles. "Good. Okay, see you around, odango," he said, and with that, he drove off, leaving me to wonder. But then, my bladder's needs resurfaced, and I rushed upstairs to the bathroom. I don't know if it was the coffee, Luna's snoring, or what, but for some reason, I didn't get a wink of sleep that night.
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