Afterglow - Part 2

Zaiya had missed this, the silly fun moments she had enjoyed when she was young, before all these responsibilities. It had been far too long. She'd thought she could relax after leaving Kamino, but this trip had been proof that things were not as she'd thought they were.

She still skirted topics as they spoke, avoiding the mention of Zygerria, and about her eye. She wasn't sure if Maul would be comfortable talking about it. He'd gone to rest some time ago, albeit very reluctantly. Venn had launched into stories of their own adventures and conquests and… many many lovers they'd had. Zaiya didn't know how they had the energy. Or patience. The idea of taking so many to bed… well it didn't settle for Zaiya but she wasn't about to judge her friend for it just because it didn't make sense with her.

Most of the stories were wild, funny and chaotic, and it was a delight to not have to think about her own life for a while. The loss, the awkwardness… though like all things, eventually Venn mentioned the war and how well they knew a few of the clones. Zaiya grimaced at the mention. Not so much that Venn was familiar with them, only that she was once again reminded of her part in all of it.

"What? What's that face for?" Venn asked.

"I… well you were right, I was on Kamino, I was - I suppose it will get around anyway, I was Lieutenant-General of the Tipoca facility, I was in charge of training the elite clones and ARC troopers," Zaiya began. Venn let out a low whistle.

"Lieutenant-General huh? Are you gonna give me orders? I can be good~" they grinned and Zaiya rolled her eyes.

"No you cannot, you've never listened to a command in your life," she retorted. Venn laughed, then became more serious.

"You say was…"

"I had to leave recently, there was another invasion…" she trailed off and looked down again, "we lost a lot of good men that day." Venn didn't crack a joke this time, but reached out to pet Zaiya's arm in a comforting gesture.

"Oh honey…" they said softly, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine," Zaiya replied quickly, the lingering emotion becoming too uncomfortable, and settled back in her seat again. "It's just been…" her gaze trailed to the doorway where Maul had gone to rest. "...difficult."

After a moment she looked back, only to find Venn staring at her with a very nexu-like smile.

"What?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"You and him."

"He and I, what?" Venn scoffed, and rolled their eyes.

"I'm not blind, you two have a thing."

"We do not," Zaiya replied a little too quickly. Venn made a face. "That's not what- he doesn't…" Venn's brows rose. "Stop looking at me like that! He's my oldest friend, but I'm his Lieutenant."

"You're not just his Lieutenant, I've seen the way he looks at you," they said smugly. Zaiya looked at them rather startled and made a face of her own. Maul didn't look at her like anything! Yes his gaze was molten hot and intense… but he always looked like that!

"Don't be ridiculous… there's nothing-" Nothing there? Well that wasn't entirely true, now was it? Zaiya pursed her lips, the ache in her chest making it difficult to speak. "We had… a moment… but that's it."

"I knew it!" Venn whooped, but then clapped their hands over their mouth as Zaiya glared at them. They leaned forward, elbows propped on their knees and chin in their hands. "So what happened? Did you kiss?"

"Uhm…" she shouldn't say anything. This was mortifying. She'd never talked about anything like this to anyone before. "It was… a little more than that actually." Venn's eyes widened, practically glittering in the blue light of hyperspace.

"More? Like what?" Oh Fanged God's left knee, she was going to regret this.

"We - we um… we had… had sex," she admitted, it was so hard to say, and she waited for Venn to look at her in disgust.

"You- holy kriff! When?! How did it happen? Was it hot? How big is his dick? Did he make you cum?" The barrage of questions made Zaiya physically recoil and stare at Venn in shock. She hadn't been expecting that.

"It… well it was just before we left Nimban, we were in the cabin for two days and-"

"Two days?!" They made a show of wiping their mouth, "thatssofuckinghot-" then they frowned. "So why the kark are you two looking so miserable for? Shouldn't he be grinning like a madman to have tapped this piece of ass…?" Venn gestured to Zaiya and one of Zaiya's hands went to her chest. She didn't know how to feel about it. That was a compliment, wasn't it?

"I… well I…"

"What did he do?"

"What makes you think that?" Zaiya frowned slightly.

"Siren, sweetie… he's a man…" That was hardly an explanation, Zaiya thought. She'd hardly put Maul in the same category as the rest of the Galaxy. Though perhaps-

"I hardly see-"

"What happened between then and now?" they pushed and Zaiya sighed, Venn was like a massif with a carcass, they weren't going to let it go. She wasn't even sure why she was telling Venn all of this, but it was burning in the forefront of her mind that she needed to get it off her chest before it suffocated her.

"...Alright fine… ever since we reached the depot on Nimban and got on the transport, he pulled away from me. While we were… together, he said things that made me think-" she cut herself off and shook her head, "even I know people don't mean the things they say during intimacy." Her gaze dropped to her knee, where her gloved hand rested, long fingers tapping idly.

"Oh fuck him," Ven scoffed and Zaiya's eyes turned hard as she glared at them.

"Do not speak about my Lord that way," she warned.

"No, fuck him if he is going to treat you like that, Si!" Venn replied vehemently. "What gives him the right?"

"Venn," Zaiya sighed, "He is my-"

"Yeah yeah, Lord Grumpy Pants, sure… but you don't deserve that bullshit! You're not some paid whore for him to walk away from!" Zaiya made a face. She didn't deserve…? Was Venn blind? She shook her head. "No!" Venn continued, their voice rising, "you deserve far more-"

"I don't-"

"Yes you do Siren!"

"Look at me!" Zaiya snapped, suddenly on her feet, she gestured to herself even though it was obvious. "I'm a kriffing monster! Of course he distanced himself! The only mistake made was that I thought I wasn't for those brief moments, that I thought I could be…" She grit her teeth, "but I'm not. I'm this." The Nightsister sighed, she heard movement in the other room and rubbed her temple, ignoring Venn's protest and shock. "I need to sleep, I'm becoming emotional." The disgust with herself was barely concealed as she headed to the back of the ship.

She made her way to what appeared to be the 'lounge' of the main area. She didn't wish to disturb Maul while he slept, she just wanted to sleep herself, she hadn't really done so over the last few days. Not just the cabin but Kamino too. She took a seat, she needed to rest.

Venn however had other ideas, and stomped in behind her. They looked her over and glared, seemingly unimpressed with their friend.

"You don't get to walk away from that, Siren," they said and took a seat beside her. "You're not a monster, I don't know where you got that idea from, the eye doesn't mean- it's really cool." Zaiya almost sighed, it was a kindness, but she remembered Venn's initial reaction, they'd been afraid.

"I burn the things I care for, and I ruin all I touch…" she muttered. Venn reached out and grabbed one of Zaiya's hands, placing it on their breast.

"Mm yep, I feel ruined," they said with a sly grin. Zaiya yanked her hand away and glared. "Alright, alright, you know I gotta try to make you laugh."

"The only reason you aren't is because I was gone for so long," Zaiya retorted.

"'Scuse you… if I am going to ruin my life or be ruined, I will do it all on my own, thank you. You don't get to dictate my life," they huffed and folded their arms.

Zaiya thought about that for a moment. Perhaps she was being selfish thinking she alone could do such damage to a person. Would Maul have still been taken if she weren't around? Would Havoc still be alive if not for her? Would Colt? Or Ninety nine?

Would Maul still be on Lotho Minor?

That question haunted her. She didn't know if she was helping or hindering those she cared for, or if she meant nothing. She bit her lower lip, she was so tired, and emotions swirled in her.

"It's going to be alright," Venn soothed, and guided Zaiya to lay down. The Dathomiri woman began to resist but quickly realised she was too tired. Venn coaxed her, letting her rest her head on their leg as she closed her eyes. She was so exhausted, she didn't even notice the tear running down her cheek as Venn watched. She didn't see her friend's face harden into one of disapproval as they began to caress her hair gently.

After two days of sleeping beside him again, she missed Maul already.

How pathetic.

Maul returned to the room after a few hours of meditation and rest, he had hoped they would be there by now but instead he was greeted by the sight of his Lieutenant, sleeping serenely… but practically in the lap of the filthy little heathen that was the smuggler. A feeling of rage crawled up his back, powerful and hot. He wanted to tear the Iridonian limb from limb and hurl them out the airlock. His lip curled.

"Should you not be tending the controls?" he growled. Venn looked up.

"No, that's what the auto controls are for," they replied. Maul wanted to strike them, but Zaiya was right there, he couldn't risk… there it was again, these stupid thoughts that made him weak.

"Then I shall take Lady Siren to rest properly," he said, stepping forward. It made him weak… but he still seethed at the thought of anyone else touching her.

"She's resting here, you don't want to wake her," Venn said, a smug smile on their face that made Maul want to reach for his lightsaber. He stared them down, but of course they had to speak again. "You don't deserve her."

Maul was incensed.

"What do you know of what she wants and deserves?" he snarled viciously.

"I know she is mad about you. I know she is in pain… and I know you hurt her." The crimson zabrak scowled, this pathetic womp-rat thought they knew Zaiya? His Lieutenant and oldest companion? It was laughable. And to be accused of harming her?!

"I did no such thing!" he spat, but it tasted like a lie.

"You think telling her sweet words then dropping her like a cheap hook up is any way to treat her?" Venn's voice was rising from a harsh whisper.

"How dare you speak of-"

"That's what you're acting like! You act like her being close repulses you and she thinks she's a monster!" Rage was blinding him but the words registered in some part of his mind.

"You know nothing!" he hissed, taking another step forward.

"She is loved, Lord Maul… by many people. If you don't look after her, they - and I will."

A roar ripped from his throat as he launched himself at them, lightsaber in hand - ignited in an instant. Venn's eyes widened but he barely saw it. The red glow of his weapon filled his vision as he swept the blade toward the Iridonian.

Neon green flames sparked.

His blade met another and suddenly Zaiya was in his path, blocking his lightsaber with one of her long knives. His eyes darted up to her face, her expression twisted in concentration, and teeth bared.

Their blades locked but he didn't strike again, just stared at her in shock for a moment, then his own teeth grit and he shoved her back. She stumbled but stood between him and that pitiful degenerate.

"Stand aside, Lieutenant," he growled. Holding out his lightsaber.

"No," she replied, standing in a defensive stance and holding her ground.

No? What had gotten into her? Did she not realise what he needed to do?

"I will not ask again," he warned.

"You did not ask. You commanded," she retorted and stood a little taller. "I will not allow you to kill our pilot and my friend, Maul." His teeth grit.

"You would choose this backwater ingrate over your loyalty?"

"I choose loyalty," she replied, "and I am loyal to my friends. All of them. I may just be your Lieutenant, sire but I will not be commanded like that. Never again!" Maul frowned… he'd never…? Then he felt that pain in the Force again. He relaxed his stance.

"Why does he have a lightsaber?" Venn asked, seemingly recovered from nearly dying at his hand. "Siren… it's red… Why does he-?"

"Because he's a Sith, Venn!" she snapped, "the Sith do as they wish and have no loyalty but for power and they care for nothing and no one!" She spoke to Venn but looked into his eyes. He felt the anguish but her words were like a slap to the face.

"No, a Sith does not," he replied quietly, and deactivated his lightsaber. He shot them one final glare and turned away to return to the room he'd been meditating in.

He was furious. He wanted to tear her throat out. This was her choice? Clones and bounty hunters and smugglers and common filth of the galaxy?!

He recalled the way she had clung to him and promised him everything. Promised she was his. Where was that devotion now?! Where was the woman that would walk through fire for him? Had she had her fun and discarded him? Abandoned him like everyone else?

You don't deserve her.

Didn't he? Or was it that she did not deserve him? Was he not loyal to her? He came back to her, didn't he? He had allowed her to heal him, to share her memories with him… to share his bed. The only woman he'd ever- and she threw it back at him like this?!

Sith, she said. Was that her way of telling him she rejected him? Had she finally given up on fixing him? Good. He did not need fixing. He didn't need anything! He didn't need her! He didn't need anyone!

He had his skills and his cunning. He could destroy all his enemies all on his own. He didn't need her at all.

But why did it feel like his very chest had been ripped open?

Notes:

Hello yes this is angsty. Erm... Maul is becoming jelly af. He might need to do something about that. Poor Venn! T^T

Hope you guys are doing alright, it has been a very slow week for progress. And I'm afraid you might be upset with me... There will be no chapter updates from me for the next two weeks! I am taking a short break because I have a a holiday coming up and I want to focus my time on my family - that I have not seen in years. I doubt I will be able to write much and so I am taking a break in order to hopefully come back refreshed and hopefully ahead of the chapters.
I also realise that I have left you on a cliffhanger... That was not intentional I swear!

But to be clear, there will be no posts from me for the next two weeks.
Sins returns : Wed 26th Oct (Tales of the Jedi Day!)
APOD returns : Halloween! Mon 31st Oct.
From there I will be back to my regular schedule!

I hope you are all well and that you enjoyed this one. My wonderful beta reader (so precious, so pure!) told me this was their favourite chapter so far and I certainly hope you enjoyed it too!
As always I welcome feedback, if you have a comment or suggestion please feel free to post it, it brings me joy! I love reading them and it helps keep me motivated!

See you in a few weeks!