A/N I'm so glad so many of you liked this story! Thankyou all for your kind reviews. Also, as answer to a question that was asked: Lily Weasley asked "If Sirius is Harry's father, how is he the spitting image of James?" – you misunderstood. What I mean was that Lily and James had been round at a party at Sirius's place and they had got drunk. Because they were drunk, they lost their inhibitions, and Harry was conceived between Lily and James. Anyway, on with the story!
Zaphod's Just this Guy, You Know?
Part 2
"Professor Commander Dumbledore. Here are the Hitch Hikers we picked up whilst travelling through Sector Seven." said Guard Malfoy Number Two.
"Thankyou Guard Malfoy Number Two. You may go now." Replied Professor Commander Dumbledore.
Guard Malfoy Number Two left, leaving behind the three Hitch Hikers who were now examining all the control desks.
"Hey, this place is hoopy." Said the one with two heads.
According to the Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy, the fact that a human being has two heads, would in fact suggest that the said human being was in fact not a human being, but an alien.
For once, this is true.
For Zaphod Beeblebrox was in fact an alien.
"Hi Guys. This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, I just wanted to let you all know that we're approaching the ground at an alarmingly fast rate. We're going to crash in 5 minutes."
"Eddie?" one of the Hitch Hikers (who is now to be called Ford Prefect) said.
"Hi guys."
"What are you doing here? This isn't The Heart Of Gold."
"I know. You guys were getting unbearable to live with, so I applied for a divorce."
"We were never married."
"Exactly. That was why it was so easy to get a divorce." Replied Eddie.
"I've been floating around in space for the past five years, and now I think I'm going mad." Said the third and final Hitch Hiker, who by process of elimination, is Arthur Dent.
"Hey, shut up Monkey Man. Didn't you hear what the crazy computer said? We're going to crash." Said Zaphod.
"Eddie?" asked Dumbledore.
"Share and Enjoy, guys, Share and Enjoy."
"What planet are we going to crash into?" Dumbledore said, trying to be patient.
"Earth of course." Replied the computer.
Those of you who have read The Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy, will know that this is quite impossible.
This is not true.
After travelling in space for many years, the ultra modern School/Spaceship had passed through a large black hole that had inevitably sucked them into the past. So instead of being in the year 2001, they had gone back in time to the year 1960.
"So you're telling me that we've gone back in time 41 years? Now I know I'm going mad." Arthur said.
"MARVIN!" Dumbledore yelled.
"Coming, coming." Replied the paranoid android.
Slowly the android made his way from the adjoining room (which was a toilet [what else would adjoin onto a broom cupboard?])
"Marvin!, how you doing old guy?"
"I've just worked out how to destroy the universe. I can do it now if you want." Replied the android gloomily.
"Thanks Marvin, you can destroy the universe later. Right now, I want you to go and fetch Trillion."
"Always the slave. Always the slave. Always the slave. Always the slave. Always the slave. Always the slave." Marvin wondered out into the corridor, muttering this under his breath.
According to the laws of Physics, the fact that the announcement made by Eddie ten minutes ago that the spaceship was going to crash in five minutes, the spaceship should have crashed by now. Of course, this hasn't happened, otherwise there would have been a resounding bang. The reason that it hasn't crashed is because there needed to be time for us to tell the story.
Now, even though the spaceship was supposed to crash six minutes, thirty five seconds ago, doesn't matter, because it has now been revealed that the spaceship won't crash at all.
Far away, at the other end of the spaceship, were the apartments.
Here lived al the survivors of the Earth crash.
In flat 7 B, lived Harry Potter and his girlfriend, (who's identity will not yet be revealed).
In the five minutes after the five minutes when the spaceship was supposed to crash, Harry Potter and his girlfriend (who's identity still won't be revealed) were doing something you can't do until you have reached sixteen years of age. The fact that they were doing this, caused the spaceship to shift positions, so they no longer were going to crash into the Earth of sixty years ago.
Marvin, who had been sent on a mission to find Trillion, eventually found her with Sirius Black in Apartment 24 D.
"Trillion. Professor Commander Dumbledore wishes to see you."
"I'll be right along Marvin. Go and tell him that." Replied Trillion.
"Okay. I'll just tell him and Zaphod and Arthur and Ford what you're doing with Sirius Black and then I'll tell them you're here and they can come and find you. It doesn't matter. I'm a slave with the largest brain in the universe. It doesn't matter."
"Marvin, did you say Zaphod's here?" Trillion asked.
"Yes."
"Why is he here?" Trillion asked.
"Well, Zaphod's just this guy, you know?" Marvin replied. Then he turned and trundled off down the corridor to report back to Professor Commander Dumbledore.