Too Hard To Fight
Three days later when Melinda had finished her first lot of chemo, Piper was pulled aside by one of the paediatric oncology specialists, another of the many strange faces she'd grown accustomed to. "Mrs Wyatt. If I could have a moment please." His face was forcing a smile, but the dark rings under his eyes and worn expression betraying his genuine attempts.
"Yes?" Piper questioned rather than stated, her arms automatically crossing in front of her chest.
"Our team has been reviewing Melinda's case and we think it would be a benefit for her to receive some precautionary treatment." He stated slowly, leading a reluctant Piper to his office.
"And this treatment would be what Doctor?" Piper asked again, she was already becoming frustrated with long-winded explanations; she just wanted her daughter happy and well. Out in the park chasing butterflies or swimming in the pool, not lying miserable in a hospital bed.
"She would undergo a spinal tap." The doctor suggested quietly, awaiting one of the two reactions he commonly received, that of confusion or immediate defiance.
Piper stared back at him for a few moments, taking a few deep breaths before nodding. "Is it really necessary?"
"Yes, we think so. Melinda is what we classify as high risk. It's important we make sure that the leukaemia doesn't spread into her central nervous system.
"When would you do it? She just finished yesterday."
"We would prefer almost immediately if you give consent. Do you need to contact your husband?"
"No, that won't be necessary. I've been trying to find out if I can take Melinda home during the times she isn't receiving treatment. Is that possible?" Melinda had begun to plead with Piper to go home, to sleep in her own bed play with her own toys.
"Melinda's immune system is far too low at this stage, I'm sorry but I wouldn't recommend it. She will also be requiring another bone marrow biopsy in a few days to check on her progress."
Piper closed her eyes momentarily before narrowing her eyes and creasing her forehead. "Another one?"
"It's all standard procedure Mrs Wyatt. We need to see what effect the first lot of chemo had on Melinda and change the medication being used in response to this." The doctor hesitated for a moment before continuing. "To be honest with you, Melinda is a very sick little girl. The chemo has been hard on her and her body has virtually no defence against any infection, we feel the most vigorous attack on the leukaemia is necessary if she is to be given the best chance at a recovery."
Piper was suddenly jerked to attention, his brutal honesty finally giving her an idea of just how serious this was becoming. "Is she going to recover?" Piper asked quietly, images of the past few months flashing across her eyes. The constant colds and fevers, the pale face she'd become accustomed to, not recognising her own daughter's struggle to keep her eyes open during the long school days. The bruises that seemed to appear for no apparent reason and take up to a week to fade not to mention Melinda's complaints about her aching arms and legs. Piper brought a hand to her mouth, blinking back tears that threatened to start and never stop. She hadn't done anything...she'd allowed Melinda to get so sick without doing a single thing. It was complete ignorance on her part, a silent fear of the impossible preventing her from getting Melinda early treatment...the impossible that became reality. Suddenly this was more serious than she could have ever imagined. Things were never going to be the same again. No amount of hugs and kisses were going to take the cancer cells from her daughter's small body.
Piper's eyes refocussed and the doctor was staring into her eyes, a hand resting on her shoulder. "Mrs Wyatt?"
"I'm sorry." Piper whispered, her voice hoarse and hesitant. "What did you say?"
"I was just saying that at this stage it's impossible to predict Melinda's future. As the treatment progresses and we continue with the tests it will become more apparent."
Piper nodded and hesitated a few seconds before glancing back at the seemingly caring doctor. "If Melinda had been brought in earlier, would this all be different?"
He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "There is no point in playing what if games, it's possible Melinda would be better off, it's possible it would have made no difference at all. We deal with what we get Mrs Wyatt and right now, we're focussed on giving your daughter the best treatment possible."
"Okay." Piper said quietly, the thoughts still lingering in her mind but she pushed them aside. "This spinal tap. Will Melinda be conscious? I understand it's a painful procedure."
"Yes, Melinda will be conscious, we don't like to do it under anaesthesia unless absolutely necessary. Instead we use an EMLA emulsion, which is basically a short acting, numbing cream. It is still a painful procedure, but we will be able to talk with Melinda the entire time and you can also be in the room if you wish."
"Where do I sign?" Piper asked after a few seconds of silent processing, a casting a small glance to the ceiling, wondering for the umpteenth time in the last four days, where her husband was.
It was two days before Leo finally walked down the hall of the hospital, following the now ritualistic path that Piper traced numerous times a day. He stood at the door for a minute, his breath catching in his throat as he stared at his wife and daughter. Melinda was lying on her back, her skin as pale as the bed sheets and her body lethargic and unmoving. Piper sat cross-legged on her bed, one hand constantly enclosed over Melinda's, the other gesturing as she told story after story.
"Hi." Leo finally said; making sure he had a smile on his face, if only for Melinda's benefit.
"Daddy!" Melinda exclaimed, her dull eyes exposing just a hint of happiness.
"How's my girl?" He asked, meeting Piper's eyes before she deliberately looked away.
"Okay." Melinda shrugged, reaching her arms up to Leo and hooking them around his neck as he hugged her tightly. "Where have you been?" She asked innocently as Leo laid her back to the pillow.
"I've had to work honey, I'm sorry." Leo explained regretfully. "You know how busy I get sometimes."
"Have you finished now?"
"No, not yet. But I wanted to see you. I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten you." Leo smiled and lightly tickled Melinda, feeling Piper's critical stare on his back.
"Now, why would she think that?" Piper muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for Leo to catch a few words, Melinda eying them both suspiciously but too exhausted to truly understand.
"Is it alright if Mommy and I have a chat outside Mel?" Leo asked lightly.
"Yeah, but don't leave without saying goodbye. I miss you Daddy."
Leo grinned and nodded, walking out of the room, relieved when Piper followed him without protest. "What's happening? Why is she looking worse than she has for months?" He asked quickly.
"That would be known as chemotherapy Leo. Not to mention sitting at Death's door." Piper replied bitterly.
"I'm sorry?"
Piper's tone changed slightly, her stance was still defensive but her voice softened. "She's sick Leo. Really sick."
"It's not like she's going to die Piper, her body's just fighting...getting better."
Piper looked up at him, staring into his eyes suddenly feeling pity for him then anything else. "That's where you might be wrong Leo. They're doing more tests tomorrow, that'll tell us more."
"This is crazy, she's not that sick." Leo insisted, before casting a disgusted glance skywards. "I have to go, but I should be home tonight."
"I won't be there." Piper muttered.
"You what?"
"I'm moving back into the manor." Piper paused for a second. "You're not the man I fell in love with Leo."
"You've got to be kidding Piper. This is just..." He trailed off, lost for words.
"I'm not saying this is it, but for now, I can't be waiting every night, hoping you'll come home. I'm tired of being disappointed, I need to be with my sisters who I know are going to be there for me."
"I'm here for you...I love you. It's them, I can't help it."
"Right now, I just...I can't do it. I can't do this alone." Piper shook her head at him; things were so different this time. She wasn't overcome with anger or being ruled by her emotions, she was at least in control of something in her life.
"I don't want to walk away." Leo whispered.
"You're not...you're just doing as they want you to." Piper shrugged and started back towards Melinda's room. "Don't forget to say goodbye."
Leo nodded, following Piper despite the familiar pull at his body. "I'm sorry Mel, but I have to go."
Melinda's face fell, but she nodded. "Okay Daddy. Will you come back soon?"
"Of course sweetheart. Very soon. I love you okay?" Melinda gave a half-smile and blew him a kiss. Leo turned to face Piper, their eyes meeting and hearts breaking. "Goodbye Piper."
Three days later when Melinda had finished her first lot of chemo, Piper was pulled aside by one of the paediatric oncology specialists, another of the many strange faces she'd grown accustomed to. "Mrs Wyatt. If I could have a moment please." His face was forcing a smile, but the dark rings under his eyes and worn expression betraying his genuine attempts.
"Yes?" Piper questioned rather than stated, her arms automatically crossing in front of her chest.
"Our team has been reviewing Melinda's case and we think it would be a benefit for her to receive some precautionary treatment." He stated slowly, leading a reluctant Piper to his office.
"And this treatment would be what Doctor?" Piper asked again, she was already becoming frustrated with long-winded explanations; she just wanted her daughter happy and well. Out in the park chasing butterflies or swimming in the pool, not lying miserable in a hospital bed.
"She would undergo a spinal tap." The doctor suggested quietly, awaiting one of the two reactions he commonly received, that of confusion or immediate defiance.
Piper stared back at him for a few moments, taking a few deep breaths before nodding. "Is it really necessary?"
"Yes, we think so. Melinda is what we classify as high risk. It's important we make sure that the leukaemia doesn't spread into her central nervous system.
"When would you do it? She just finished yesterday."
"We would prefer almost immediately if you give consent. Do you need to contact your husband?"
"No, that won't be necessary. I've been trying to find out if I can take Melinda home during the times she isn't receiving treatment. Is that possible?" Melinda had begun to plead with Piper to go home, to sleep in her own bed play with her own toys.
"Melinda's immune system is far too low at this stage, I'm sorry but I wouldn't recommend it. She will also be requiring another bone marrow biopsy in a few days to check on her progress."
Piper closed her eyes momentarily before narrowing her eyes and creasing her forehead. "Another one?"
"It's all standard procedure Mrs Wyatt. We need to see what effect the first lot of chemo had on Melinda and change the medication being used in response to this." The doctor hesitated for a moment before continuing. "To be honest with you, Melinda is a very sick little girl. The chemo has been hard on her and her body has virtually no defence against any infection, we feel the most vigorous attack on the leukaemia is necessary if she is to be given the best chance at a recovery."
Piper was suddenly jerked to attention, his brutal honesty finally giving her an idea of just how serious this was becoming. "Is she going to recover?" Piper asked quietly, images of the past few months flashing across her eyes. The constant colds and fevers, the pale face she'd become accustomed to, not recognising her own daughter's struggle to keep her eyes open during the long school days. The bruises that seemed to appear for no apparent reason and take up to a week to fade not to mention Melinda's complaints about her aching arms and legs. Piper brought a hand to her mouth, blinking back tears that threatened to start and never stop. She hadn't done anything...she'd allowed Melinda to get so sick without doing a single thing. It was complete ignorance on her part, a silent fear of the impossible preventing her from getting Melinda early treatment...the impossible that became reality. Suddenly this was more serious than she could have ever imagined. Things were never going to be the same again. No amount of hugs and kisses were going to take the cancer cells from her daughter's small body.
Piper's eyes refocussed and the doctor was staring into her eyes, a hand resting on her shoulder. "Mrs Wyatt?"
"I'm sorry." Piper whispered, her voice hoarse and hesitant. "What did you say?"
"I was just saying that at this stage it's impossible to predict Melinda's future. As the treatment progresses and we continue with the tests it will become more apparent."
Piper nodded and hesitated a few seconds before glancing back at the seemingly caring doctor. "If Melinda had been brought in earlier, would this all be different?"
He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "There is no point in playing what if games, it's possible Melinda would be better off, it's possible it would have made no difference at all. We deal with what we get Mrs Wyatt and right now, we're focussed on giving your daughter the best treatment possible."
"Okay." Piper said quietly, the thoughts still lingering in her mind but she pushed them aside. "This spinal tap. Will Melinda be conscious? I understand it's a painful procedure."
"Yes, Melinda will be conscious, we don't like to do it under anaesthesia unless absolutely necessary. Instead we use an EMLA emulsion, which is basically a short acting, numbing cream. It is still a painful procedure, but we will be able to talk with Melinda the entire time and you can also be in the room if you wish."
"Where do I sign?" Piper asked after a few seconds of silent processing, a casting a small glance to the ceiling, wondering for the umpteenth time in the last four days, where her husband was.
It was two days before Leo finally walked down the hall of the hospital, following the now ritualistic path that Piper traced numerous times a day. He stood at the door for a minute, his breath catching in his throat as he stared at his wife and daughter. Melinda was lying on her back, her skin as pale as the bed sheets and her body lethargic and unmoving. Piper sat cross-legged on her bed, one hand constantly enclosed over Melinda's, the other gesturing as she told story after story.
"Hi." Leo finally said; making sure he had a smile on his face, if only for Melinda's benefit.
"Daddy!" Melinda exclaimed, her dull eyes exposing just a hint of happiness.
"How's my girl?" He asked, meeting Piper's eyes before she deliberately looked away.
"Okay." Melinda shrugged, reaching her arms up to Leo and hooking them around his neck as he hugged her tightly. "Where have you been?" She asked innocently as Leo laid her back to the pillow.
"I've had to work honey, I'm sorry." Leo explained regretfully. "You know how busy I get sometimes."
"Have you finished now?"
"No, not yet. But I wanted to see you. I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten you." Leo smiled and lightly tickled Melinda, feeling Piper's critical stare on his back.
"Now, why would she think that?" Piper muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for Leo to catch a few words, Melinda eying them both suspiciously but too exhausted to truly understand.
"Is it alright if Mommy and I have a chat outside Mel?" Leo asked lightly.
"Yeah, but don't leave without saying goodbye. I miss you Daddy."
Leo grinned and nodded, walking out of the room, relieved when Piper followed him without protest. "What's happening? Why is she looking worse than she has for months?" He asked quickly.
"That would be known as chemotherapy Leo. Not to mention sitting at Death's door." Piper replied bitterly.
"I'm sorry?"
Piper's tone changed slightly, her stance was still defensive but her voice softened. "She's sick Leo. Really sick."
"It's not like she's going to die Piper, her body's just fighting...getting better."
Piper looked up at him, staring into his eyes suddenly feeling pity for him then anything else. "That's where you might be wrong Leo. They're doing more tests tomorrow, that'll tell us more."
"This is crazy, she's not that sick." Leo insisted, before casting a disgusted glance skywards. "I have to go, but I should be home tonight."
"I won't be there." Piper muttered.
"You what?"
"I'm moving back into the manor." Piper paused for a second. "You're not the man I fell in love with Leo."
"You've got to be kidding Piper. This is just..." He trailed off, lost for words.
"I'm not saying this is it, but for now, I can't be waiting every night, hoping you'll come home. I'm tired of being disappointed, I need to be with my sisters who I know are going to be there for me."
"I'm here for you...I love you. It's them, I can't help it."
"Right now, I just...I can't do it. I can't do this alone." Piper shook her head at him; things were so different this time. She wasn't overcome with anger or being ruled by her emotions, she was at least in control of something in her life.
"I don't want to walk away." Leo whispered.
"You're not...you're just doing as they want you to." Piper shrugged and started back towards Melinda's room. "Don't forget to say goodbye."
Leo nodded, following Piper despite the familiar pull at his body. "I'm sorry Mel, but I have to go."
Melinda's face fell, but she nodded. "Okay Daddy. Will you come back soon?"
"Of course sweetheart. Very soon. I love you okay?" Melinda gave a half-smile and blew him a kiss. Leo turned to face Piper, their eyes meeting and hearts breaking. "Goodbye Piper."