Breaking Point
Two long and de-energizing months had passed, filled with chemotherapy sessions and countless tests. Melinda's condition had stabilised for a few weeks before continuing to worsen. Her unhealthy white blood cell count was continuing to rise and with each unsuccessful chemo treatment, her body became weaker and her will to fight depleted.
It was barely 8am and Piper had rushed to get ready on just five hours sleep, now standing in the kitchen while she drank a cup of coffee. Phoebe sat at the breakfast bench, distractedly eating her cereal whilst taking in her sister's appearance. Piper was content on her mug of coffee, prepared to remain oblivious to Phoebe as she had most people in her life over the past months. Her eyes were rimmed by dark rings; a characteristic of her continual lack of sleep and long stressful days. She'd sunken into a depressing routine, her days spent at the hospital and nights running P3, content to remain busy and eliminate all forms of enjoyment.
"Morning Piper." Phoebe eventually said, looking up from the magazine she'd been hiding behind.
Piper just forced a weak smile, continuing to drink her coffee. "Morning." She replied half-heartedly, returning her stare to the mug as Prue walked in.
Prue glanced from Piper to Phoebe, their eyes meeting in a silent question to which Phoebe nodded her agreement. They refused to stand by and watch Piper annihilate herself; she'd all but forgotten Leo and was continuing to punish herself in a deadly form of self-destruction. Not eating, not sleeping...blaming herself every minute of every day for what her daughter was fighting.
"Phoebe and I thought we might come with you to the hospital today Piper." Prue said casually, waiting patiently for any reaction.
Piper sighed deeply, emptying her mug and placing it in the sink. "It's not a good day. Mel is having another spinal tap." The words were spoken slowly and deliberately; the technical cancer terms a far too common occurrence in all of their vocabulary.
Phoebe nodded slowly, accepting Piper's decision but wanting the conversation to continue before Piper could do her usual disappearing act. "Okay." She thought for a minute, searching for the right words, but finally relented when there weren't any. "Have you heard from Leo?"
"No." Piper stated simply, noticing Prue and Phoebe share another glance. "What? I should be making an effort to contact him?" She stared at both of them, anger creeping into her voice and the volume rising. "In two months, he has seen our daughter four times. Our daughter. She's not responding to treatment and every day is a constant struggle. And Leo...Leo obviously couldn't care less if he never saw Melinda again."
Prue moved quickly to stand opposite Piper, her voice soft and sympathetic. "Piper, you know that Leo loves Melinda." Piper smirked slightly in disgust, focussing her eyes on the floor when Prue took hold of her hands. "And you know how much he loves you."
"Do I?" Piper asked softly, slipping her hands out of Prue's and walking away, the front door heard slamming just seconds later.
"I hate seeing her like this." Phoebe whispered.
Prue gave a genuine smile. "I think that Piper's allowed to be a little stressed Phoebes." Phoebe just shrugged and nodded. "I'm going to visit the hospital today anyway, even if it's just for Piper."
"Try and get her to take a break and eat something Prue; otherwise she's going to completely fall apart and what good is that going to do Melinda?" Phoebe stated strongly.
"I know Phoebe." Prue gave a good-natured grin, intent on staying positive. "You're preaching to the wrong person."
~ ~ ~
Piper walked into the hospital, giving automated greetings to the appropriate people and constantly forcing a smile. She continued towards Melinda's room, now placed in a private room due to the constant monitoring needed. Piper suppressed a gasp as she entered, the room dark and depressing with the curtains pulled closed. Overnight Melinda had received a nasal oxygen line and she lay limply on the bed, her left arm extended where the IV line entered her vein. "Hi beautiful." Piper whispered, seeing Melinda's eyes flicker open as she heard the familiar footsteps.
"Mommy." Melinda whispered with barely the energy to speak, still managing to give a small smile.
"You not feeling good sweetheart?" Piper questioned, leaning over to cup her cheek and kiss her forehead, kneeling beside the bed and loosely holding her hand.
"No." Melinda shook her head, tears glazing her brown eyes.
"What is it Mel?" Piper reached up, trailing her fingers over Melinda's bald head, her hair had completely fallen out by the third chemo treatment.
"People go to heaven when they die, don't they?" Melinda asked.
Piper froze for a second, completely taken aback. "Yes, I think they do." She replied honestly.
"And we can't visit people in heaven?"
"Only in our dreams." Piper answered, gently wiping away Melinda's tears. "Why do you ask?"
"Rachelle died." Melinda explained, struggling to keep her breath.
"I'm sorry Mel." Piper whispered, stroking her back as Melinda turned her cheek into Piper's forearm to cry.
"The doctor said I don't have to have the spinal tap." Melinda whispered, laying her head back to the pillow.
"Why's that?"
"Cause I'm too sick." Melinda hesitated for a few seconds, her fingers playing with a bracelet on Piper's wrist. "Will you visit me in your dreams when I die?"
"Please don't say Melinda." Piper shook her head determinedly. "You've got to keep fighting, you can get better."
"But I'm so tired Mommy. It's too hard." Piper placed her forehead to the matrass, her head resting against Melinda's exposed rib cage. Silent tears fell to the sheets as she held to her daughter, her raspy breathing giving the only comforting sound.
A few minutes later, Prue wound her way through the hospital halls to her niece's room, finding Piper still crying and Melinda staring guiltily at the ceiling. "Hi." Prue whispered and Melinda nodded tearfully, fighting to keep her eyes open. "Piper?" Prue stood behind her and pulled some hair back from her face, gently rubbing her arms.
"Aunt Prue?" Melinda whispered, her voice barely audible.
Prue rested an open palm on Piper's back and turned to Melinda. "Yeah?"
"I want to go outside. Can you make them let me go outside?"
Prue gave Melinda a confused glance but nodded, leaning down to Piper. "Come on Piper, let's go ask the nurses."
"No, you go. I'll stay here." Piper insisted, raising her tearstained face.
"Piper." Prue pressured to which Piper responded with equal sternness.
"No."
Defeated, Prue left the room, returning just minutes later with a nurse who nodded her approval. "Make sure you are careful with the IV line and I'll send someone to check on her if you're out there longer than a ½ an hour. Just wait here while I arrange a wheelchair."
"I can carry her." Piper answered, helping Melinda to sit up.
"That's not necessary, I can organise a chair in just a minute." The nurse insisted with a small smile.
"I can carry my own daughter thank you." Piper replied harshly and the nurse nodded, watching whilst Piper effortlessly lifted Melinda, her head resting on her shoulder and legs wrapped around her waist. "We'll be in the garden by the west exit." Piper muttered, leaving Prue to silently follow closely, holding the IV trolley.
Melinda slept through a nurse's check and Prue and Piper's occasional solemn sentences. Her breathing was laboured and her chest rose and fell shakily with each gasp for air, until her eyes flickered open and her fist tried to grip some of Piper's shirt. "Mom?"
Piper glanced down at her, rocking her gently. "What is it?"
"What did your mom look like?" Piper threw an alarmed glance at Prue, not understanding why Melinda would want to know.
"She looked just like your mom." Prue shrugged, reaching out and letting Melinda curl her fingers around her hand. "She had long brown hair and she had identical eyes to Piper."
Melinda slowed moved her gaze to meet Piper's eyes and her dry lips curled into a small smile. "I can see her Mom." Melinda whispered, her eyes being drawn back to the vacant lawn.
"You can see her?" Piper choked out, tears welling in her eyes.
"She looks so happy. I'm not scared."
"Prue...get Leo."
"Can I go to her Mom? She says I can."
"Now Prue!" Piper exclaimed, tears falling from her eyes as she leaned her face into Melinda's, pressing kisses to her forehead and cheeks. "No Mel. Please, stay with Mommy."
"Leo! Leo!" Prue threw a glance to the clear blue sky, the words coming out breathless and uneven, tears trickling down her own face.
"She's so pretty...can I go? Please?"
"No, please...no." Piper tightened her grip, as if holding on to her would make her soul stay on earth forever.
"Piper...it's not right." Prue whispered.
"Leo! LEO!" Piper screamed through her sobs, shaking her head.
"In...my...dreams." Melinda gasped; her lips shaded blue and her face ghostly white. "I'm not scared." She repeated, smiling slightly before her eyes drifted closed for the final time. A doctor and nurse stood metres behind them, watching and nodding as the inevitable arrived, checking her only momentarily before returning to the wards.
Piper continued to shake to her head, refusing to believe that Melinda was truly gone. "How could she take her? How could our mother take my baby away, Prue?"
Prue shook her head, helplessly wrapping an arm around Piper's shoulders as she cried every last tear she held inside.
Oblivious to the world, Leo orbed in behind a tree, finally escaping the elders' stranglehold to respond to his wife's call. It took a moment to process...Melinda's still form...Piper's sobbing body...Prue's tearful support. His hands drifted to his mouth, his forehead creasing and face crumbling as his brain processed what his eyes saw and his heart felt.
He wanted to go to them, to mourn the tragic loss of his only child as other families did. To sweep Piper into his arms and whisper that it wasn't her fault. That is was out of her hands. But...he couldn't. He knew his wife and he knew what would be in her entire body and soul at this moment. She would detest the mere sight of him, not solely because he had deserted her for months, but because she still loved him. Her heart still remembered his comforting embrace and the love they shared; but her mind remembered the pain of coming home to an empty apartment, to see him for only a few moments before having to bid him goodbye.
With a final lingering glance and a silent sob, Leo disappeared into blue orbs, retreating to the solitude of a secret place where the world of witchcraft did not exist and he could let life leave him behind.
~ ~ ~
Exactly three days and two hours later, the funeral was slowly drawing to an end. Piper stood between her sisters, a death grip on their hands and an untouched strength persisting. Leo had appeared for a few minutes, approaching Piper but retreating when she stared through him and muttered a few words of a tortured spirit. He now lingered over the gathered crowd; watching as they lowered the child sized, pure white coffin into the earth.
Piper turned to bury her face in her sister's shoulder, her body trembling with unreleased sobs. The gentle arms that held her, providing only the slightest comfort to the eternal pain she would hold inside forever. Above, Leo also turned away; returning to a place where heaven meant a renewed spirit and everlasting happiness. An attitude he would become to despise and a lifestyle he would soon regret.
Final words drifted to his ears as he disappeared and infiltrated Piper's subconscious. The minister bowing his head and giving the slightest hope where there appeared to be none.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward,
Many are strong at the broken places."
FINISH
There will be a sequel...Holding On To Dreams. Thanks for reading! :-)
Two long and de-energizing months had passed, filled with chemotherapy sessions and countless tests. Melinda's condition had stabilised for a few weeks before continuing to worsen. Her unhealthy white blood cell count was continuing to rise and with each unsuccessful chemo treatment, her body became weaker and her will to fight depleted.
It was barely 8am and Piper had rushed to get ready on just five hours sleep, now standing in the kitchen while she drank a cup of coffee. Phoebe sat at the breakfast bench, distractedly eating her cereal whilst taking in her sister's appearance. Piper was content on her mug of coffee, prepared to remain oblivious to Phoebe as she had most people in her life over the past months. Her eyes were rimmed by dark rings; a characteristic of her continual lack of sleep and long stressful days. She'd sunken into a depressing routine, her days spent at the hospital and nights running P3, content to remain busy and eliminate all forms of enjoyment.
"Morning Piper." Phoebe eventually said, looking up from the magazine she'd been hiding behind.
Piper just forced a weak smile, continuing to drink her coffee. "Morning." She replied half-heartedly, returning her stare to the mug as Prue walked in.
Prue glanced from Piper to Phoebe, their eyes meeting in a silent question to which Phoebe nodded her agreement. They refused to stand by and watch Piper annihilate herself; she'd all but forgotten Leo and was continuing to punish herself in a deadly form of self-destruction. Not eating, not sleeping...blaming herself every minute of every day for what her daughter was fighting.
"Phoebe and I thought we might come with you to the hospital today Piper." Prue said casually, waiting patiently for any reaction.
Piper sighed deeply, emptying her mug and placing it in the sink. "It's not a good day. Mel is having another spinal tap." The words were spoken slowly and deliberately; the technical cancer terms a far too common occurrence in all of their vocabulary.
Phoebe nodded slowly, accepting Piper's decision but wanting the conversation to continue before Piper could do her usual disappearing act. "Okay." She thought for a minute, searching for the right words, but finally relented when there weren't any. "Have you heard from Leo?"
"No." Piper stated simply, noticing Prue and Phoebe share another glance. "What? I should be making an effort to contact him?" She stared at both of them, anger creeping into her voice and the volume rising. "In two months, he has seen our daughter four times. Our daughter. She's not responding to treatment and every day is a constant struggle. And Leo...Leo obviously couldn't care less if he never saw Melinda again."
Prue moved quickly to stand opposite Piper, her voice soft and sympathetic. "Piper, you know that Leo loves Melinda." Piper smirked slightly in disgust, focussing her eyes on the floor when Prue took hold of her hands. "And you know how much he loves you."
"Do I?" Piper asked softly, slipping her hands out of Prue's and walking away, the front door heard slamming just seconds later.
"I hate seeing her like this." Phoebe whispered.
Prue gave a genuine smile. "I think that Piper's allowed to be a little stressed Phoebes." Phoebe just shrugged and nodded. "I'm going to visit the hospital today anyway, even if it's just for Piper."
"Try and get her to take a break and eat something Prue; otherwise she's going to completely fall apart and what good is that going to do Melinda?" Phoebe stated strongly.
"I know Phoebe." Prue gave a good-natured grin, intent on staying positive. "You're preaching to the wrong person."
~ ~ ~
Piper walked into the hospital, giving automated greetings to the appropriate people and constantly forcing a smile. She continued towards Melinda's room, now placed in a private room due to the constant monitoring needed. Piper suppressed a gasp as she entered, the room dark and depressing with the curtains pulled closed. Overnight Melinda had received a nasal oxygen line and she lay limply on the bed, her left arm extended where the IV line entered her vein. "Hi beautiful." Piper whispered, seeing Melinda's eyes flicker open as she heard the familiar footsteps.
"Mommy." Melinda whispered with barely the energy to speak, still managing to give a small smile.
"You not feeling good sweetheart?" Piper questioned, leaning over to cup her cheek and kiss her forehead, kneeling beside the bed and loosely holding her hand.
"No." Melinda shook her head, tears glazing her brown eyes.
"What is it Mel?" Piper reached up, trailing her fingers over Melinda's bald head, her hair had completely fallen out by the third chemo treatment.
"People go to heaven when they die, don't they?" Melinda asked.
Piper froze for a second, completely taken aback. "Yes, I think they do." She replied honestly.
"And we can't visit people in heaven?"
"Only in our dreams." Piper answered, gently wiping away Melinda's tears. "Why do you ask?"
"Rachelle died." Melinda explained, struggling to keep her breath.
"I'm sorry Mel." Piper whispered, stroking her back as Melinda turned her cheek into Piper's forearm to cry.
"The doctor said I don't have to have the spinal tap." Melinda whispered, laying her head back to the pillow.
"Why's that?"
"Cause I'm too sick." Melinda hesitated for a few seconds, her fingers playing with a bracelet on Piper's wrist. "Will you visit me in your dreams when I die?"
"Please don't say Melinda." Piper shook her head determinedly. "You've got to keep fighting, you can get better."
"But I'm so tired Mommy. It's too hard." Piper placed her forehead to the matrass, her head resting against Melinda's exposed rib cage. Silent tears fell to the sheets as she held to her daughter, her raspy breathing giving the only comforting sound.
A few minutes later, Prue wound her way through the hospital halls to her niece's room, finding Piper still crying and Melinda staring guiltily at the ceiling. "Hi." Prue whispered and Melinda nodded tearfully, fighting to keep her eyes open. "Piper?" Prue stood behind her and pulled some hair back from her face, gently rubbing her arms.
"Aunt Prue?" Melinda whispered, her voice barely audible.
Prue rested an open palm on Piper's back and turned to Melinda. "Yeah?"
"I want to go outside. Can you make them let me go outside?"
Prue gave Melinda a confused glance but nodded, leaning down to Piper. "Come on Piper, let's go ask the nurses."
"No, you go. I'll stay here." Piper insisted, raising her tearstained face.
"Piper." Prue pressured to which Piper responded with equal sternness.
"No."
Defeated, Prue left the room, returning just minutes later with a nurse who nodded her approval. "Make sure you are careful with the IV line and I'll send someone to check on her if you're out there longer than a ½ an hour. Just wait here while I arrange a wheelchair."
"I can carry her." Piper answered, helping Melinda to sit up.
"That's not necessary, I can organise a chair in just a minute." The nurse insisted with a small smile.
"I can carry my own daughter thank you." Piper replied harshly and the nurse nodded, watching whilst Piper effortlessly lifted Melinda, her head resting on her shoulder and legs wrapped around her waist. "We'll be in the garden by the west exit." Piper muttered, leaving Prue to silently follow closely, holding the IV trolley.
Melinda slept through a nurse's check and Prue and Piper's occasional solemn sentences. Her breathing was laboured and her chest rose and fell shakily with each gasp for air, until her eyes flickered open and her fist tried to grip some of Piper's shirt. "Mom?"
Piper glanced down at her, rocking her gently. "What is it?"
"What did your mom look like?" Piper threw an alarmed glance at Prue, not understanding why Melinda would want to know.
"She looked just like your mom." Prue shrugged, reaching out and letting Melinda curl her fingers around her hand. "She had long brown hair and she had identical eyes to Piper."
Melinda slowed moved her gaze to meet Piper's eyes and her dry lips curled into a small smile. "I can see her Mom." Melinda whispered, her eyes being drawn back to the vacant lawn.
"You can see her?" Piper choked out, tears welling in her eyes.
"She looks so happy. I'm not scared."
"Prue...get Leo."
"Can I go to her Mom? She says I can."
"Now Prue!" Piper exclaimed, tears falling from her eyes as she leaned her face into Melinda's, pressing kisses to her forehead and cheeks. "No Mel. Please, stay with Mommy."
"Leo! Leo!" Prue threw a glance to the clear blue sky, the words coming out breathless and uneven, tears trickling down her own face.
"She's so pretty...can I go? Please?"
"No, please...no." Piper tightened her grip, as if holding on to her would make her soul stay on earth forever.
"Piper...it's not right." Prue whispered.
"Leo! LEO!" Piper screamed through her sobs, shaking her head.
"In...my...dreams." Melinda gasped; her lips shaded blue and her face ghostly white. "I'm not scared." She repeated, smiling slightly before her eyes drifted closed for the final time. A doctor and nurse stood metres behind them, watching and nodding as the inevitable arrived, checking her only momentarily before returning to the wards.
Piper continued to shake to her head, refusing to believe that Melinda was truly gone. "How could she take her? How could our mother take my baby away, Prue?"
Prue shook her head, helplessly wrapping an arm around Piper's shoulders as she cried every last tear she held inside.
Oblivious to the world, Leo orbed in behind a tree, finally escaping the elders' stranglehold to respond to his wife's call. It took a moment to process...Melinda's still form...Piper's sobbing body...Prue's tearful support. His hands drifted to his mouth, his forehead creasing and face crumbling as his brain processed what his eyes saw and his heart felt.
He wanted to go to them, to mourn the tragic loss of his only child as other families did. To sweep Piper into his arms and whisper that it wasn't her fault. That is was out of her hands. But...he couldn't. He knew his wife and he knew what would be in her entire body and soul at this moment. She would detest the mere sight of him, not solely because he had deserted her for months, but because she still loved him. Her heart still remembered his comforting embrace and the love they shared; but her mind remembered the pain of coming home to an empty apartment, to see him for only a few moments before having to bid him goodbye.
With a final lingering glance and a silent sob, Leo disappeared into blue orbs, retreating to the solitude of a secret place where the world of witchcraft did not exist and he could let life leave him behind.
~ ~ ~
Exactly three days and two hours later, the funeral was slowly drawing to an end. Piper stood between her sisters, a death grip on their hands and an untouched strength persisting. Leo had appeared for a few minutes, approaching Piper but retreating when she stared through him and muttered a few words of a tortured spirit. He now lingered over the gathered crowd; watching as they lowered the child sized, pure white coffin into the earth.
Piper turned to bury her face in her sister's shoulder, her body trembling with unreleased sobs. The gentle arms that held her, providing only the slightest comfort to the eternal pain she would hold inside forever. Above, Leo also turned away; returning to a place where heaven meant a renewed spirit and everlasting happiness. An attitude he would become to despise and a lifestyle he would soon regret.
Final words drifted to his ears as he disappeared and infiltrated Piper's subconscious. The minister bowing his head and giving the slightest hope where there appeared to be none.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward,
Many are strong at the broken places."
FINISH
There will be a sequel...Holding On To Dreams. Thanks for reading! :-)