Title:
Title:                 New Beginnings

Summary:            Is Jack able to cope with the changes? Content has changed from first draft

Content:            WARNING: Character deaths, language

Disclaimer:        Dum de dum de de they don't belong to me.  Stargate belongs to MGM, Gekko and Top Secret, song lyrics are copyright Robbie Williams/ Guy Chambers

Authors Notes:  Feed back would be marvelous, I need to know what you think.  Oh yeah thanks to Matt for the constructive criticism which lead to this being altered.  Please review or e-mail me (arty117@hotmail.com) 

New Beginnings Chapter 1

            The infirmary seemed to be a lot quieter than usual.  Usual was several nurses running around tending to the latest victims of  the Goa'uld attacks.  They were a deadly foe and you had to be careful whenever you ran into them.  But a greater threat sat nearer to home.  The threat from the people who you believed to be your fellow man.

            Jack looked around and saw only a few patients this week.  All the teams had been recalled to look for SG-1 and now they were found it should be business as usual.  But no, no teams were off world, no teams collecting samples, no-one finding new languages for Daniel to interpret, not even finding any rocks for him.

            Daniel sat on a tall stool, looking across into some distant place.  He was lost in his own thoughts, concerns, hopes.  Through past experience Jack knew not to snap him out just yet.  Teal'c stood tall and proud, his impassive face focusing on the same spot as Daniel.  Jack just stood there, he moved around paced across the floor, trying the best he could to keep his mind off now.

            He was getting restless, he knew her recovery could take days but that didn't matter.  He wanted her to wake up now, and just be the old Sam he loved.  But that thing in her head stopped that.  The hate started to well up inside him, the surge running through his body electrifying every nerve.  The small glass vials sitting on the edge of a table crashed towards the floor with the table landing harshly on top of those who survived the fall.

            That snapped Daniel and Teal'c out of their dream world and a furious Jack stormed out, a small amount of damage done. "Jack" Daniel called in vain.  Jack didn't hear him, he was too caught up in his own rushing emotions.  His anger had consumed his body, it yearned to be released.  The brief release directed on the vials made it hungry for more, wishing for more release.

**********

            The halls buzzed with rumors, stories of what happened, what's happening to Sam Carter.  Careless whispers filtered around, from the astrophysics labs to the archaeology department.  "I heard they asked for it, pushed too hard" one voice said.  Another whispered "No that Harris guy did this and won't admit to it"

            Jack stormed down the corridors his anger and frustration building.  He didn't care where he was going, he didn't even know.  He just walked, trying to put aside the hatred.  He had already covered most of the SGC, most of the landmarks he had passed several times.  Officers snapped to attention when they saw the Colonel, he just ignored them, until he ran into them.  A group of three young soldiers apologized profoundly at Jack.  "I am so sorry Colonel, I didn't see you" one said.  He looked about 25 with cropped brown hair, too young for him to be in the SGC but then again that didn't matter.

            "Watch where your going" he snapped knowing really it was him in the wrong

            "Ah… Colonel do you mind if I ask?"  he said sheepishly

            "What?" he yelled his frustration building

            "Colonel with all due respect there are rumors"  he said quietly, trying not to stir an already angry man "Sir, we have to know what really happened or else…"

"Or else WHAT?" He yelled "The entire base is gone know how I nearly got my second killed" he was livid now.  Jack had blown up, his arms were flailing wildly as he talked.  "Yeah, go on, tell them what happened.  In fact why don't I make an announcement to the entire base"  Jacks shouting had caused an audience, whispering stopped and watched as Colonel Jack O'Neill exploded, pummeling every ounce of rage onto this young sergeant.

"Colonel I'm sorry, I…"

"Sorry" Jack screamed "How the HELL can you say that" Jack grabbed the young man and threw him against the wall.  His head snapped back, a dull crack as his head bounced off the wall and his body slumped into unconsciousness.  "Come on, come on you worthless piece of shit, come on"

Two large marines clumped around the corner and grabbed Jack roughly by the collar, throwing him down.  He didn't try and get up, he couldn't.  A knee in the middle of his shoulder blades kept him down as his hands were tied tightly and he was, literally, carried away.  A small group of medics rounded the corner as Jack was being escorted away.  Janet looked at him.  His face showed no remorse, no concern.  Only pure hatred.  An icy cold shiver danced up her spine as she got to work.

**********

Daniel was getting bored of staring at that one spec on the wall.  Nothing had happened in the last few hours apart from Jack disappearing Janet being called out for some reason.  He yawned loudly, and dragged his tongue around his dry mouth.  A lingering taste of caffeine swilled around, a nauseous taste making his stomach turn.  Scrapping the wooden chair as he moved, Daniel got up and flopped to the water cooler in the corridor.  The machine stood about four foot high.  A beige color for the stand and a tint of blue in the plastic container.  Placing one of the small cups under the tap, and pulled on the shiny metallic lever.  The bubbles fluttered up to the top of the holder as the water poured steadily into the tiny plastic cup.

He swigged a large mouthful, allowing the cool water to flow down his throat and filter the fresh water through his system.  The beep of the heart monitor was all that could be heard.  The single continuous tone indicating some life, but Daniel wished there could be more than that annoying dull blare on the eardrums.

He glanced at the clock and registered the time as three o'clock.  He stretched and placed the now empty cup on the table.  The shards of glass crunched underfoot, scratching the floor.  He knew he couldn't do anything for Sam here, he knew he should get something done, more to get his mind off worrying.  But he wanted to be here when she woke up, show he still believes in her, even though Jack seemed to have disserted them.

He looked around, the room had not changed in the last hour and a half and was not likely to if he went to grab something from the mess hall.   Teal'c stood guarding the doorway.

"Hey Teal'c do want anything from the mess hall?"

"I am fine Daniel Jackson" he replied

"Okay, well I'm gonna grab a bite to eat.  I'll be back in ten"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow

"Just tell someone if she wakes up"

He bowed his head and moved aside to allow Daniel to move past.  Resuming his position after he had passed, Teal'c stood and watched intently over his friend, a single bleep being emitted.

**********

General Hammond was not having a good day.

First of all there was the disappearing Senator act so no-one could answer to what happened, then there was a damn good officer on the brink of falling into a coma.  To top all that off he had a hot headed Colonel in the brigs after attacking another officer.

He walked purposefully down towards the brigs.  They were all at maximum capacity all yelling to see different Commanding Officers but only getting a stiff look from the General.  Only Harris had been given a single cell.  They were still trying to get answers from him and those they saw running towards the bunker.  Hammond was looking for O'Neill now.  He could not be doing with insubordinates now, especially when there were more important things to worry about.

Jack was found in the interrogation room slumped patiently in the chair, solemnly looking out of the small window.  He smiled as he saw Hammond, the kind of smug smile you would expect from a criminal mastermind.  Hammonds anger showed as he stormed into the room.  "Colonel I am going to give you one chance to explain yourself" he said slowly and quietly.  "Now start talking"

"What's there to say?, you no what happened you know why I blew up" he said calmly

"Colonel I am in no mood to play games"

"Ooh, poker" he said bolting upright, like child being bribed

Hammond was not going to have this.  He was pissed off as it already was.  "Okay Colonel, you want to play a game.  Try go pack your bags.  You are suspended indefinitely for unruly behavior and you will not spend more time on my base then needed"

Shock fixated itself over Jacks face, he didn't expect this.  He slumped into his chair, he didn't argue, he couldn't.

**********

Daniel strolled along the corridors, blissfully unaware of Jacks recent actions.  He munched on his sandwich, tuna and sweetcorn, and washed it down with a cola.  Nervous glances were exchanged between many of the officers he passed.  He smiled pleasantly and didn't follow their concern.  He walked peacefully along the corridor, taking a detour half way.  He stared at the door to Sam's lab, a crack of light filtering through the door.  Intrigued Daniel pushed open the door.  Jacob sat on a tall wooden stool, hunched over something.  He was back in the tunic provided by the Tok'ra, plainly decorated with a simple leather case to compliment the light brown fabric.

"Jacob" Daniel said softly

He shot round and looked at him.  His eyes were red, they looked sore.  He had been crying, not even Selmak could mask the pain he had been through over the last few months.  He sniffed and started talking, his voice broken "Daniel, what are you doing here?"

"Same thing you are, holding on as best I can" he replied

Jacob looked distant now, his mind changed focus

"She'll pull through"

"I know but…" he looked down at what he was holding.  A framed photograph lay in his hands.  The simple metal frame covered a picture of Sam and Jacob.  There was someone else, from what he could tell this was Mark, her brother.  He had never seen him before.  He had short brown hair, his eyes were the same blue as Sam's.  They were all smiling,  the sun beating down around them, only masked by the shade of the trees they were under.  Jacob looked down and forced back another tear.

"Don't worry Jacob.  When she gets out she will want to see him"

"The question is will she get out?"

"Look I was heading back there, come on.  She'll be awake soon"Jacob nodded and placed the picture gently down on the work bench.  He got up, following Daniel out.  He flicked off the light and the room was suddenly consumed by the dark.

**********

Jack threw together his possessions.  A few clothes, books (which Daniel didn't believe he had) and a few photographs.  These had mainly been taken around the base.  Several shots of various labs.  A couple of group photos.  Janet taking care of Daniel.  Teal'c with that  look.  And Carter, working like a trooper despite he CO's distractions.  He ended up knocking over a pretty expensive piece of equipment.  He smiled at one, but put it down.  He turned out and headed straight for the surface.  They'll find out eventually he thought.

Sitting comfortably on the dresser, the picture smiled upwards.  On it, Jack and Sam laughing hysterically as Daniel tried desperately hard to pick up the huge piece of metal resting on the floor.  The memories of the old Sam were too much for Jack, he was starting to resent them, wish they had never existed, all because of some new beginnings.

*********

            Trekking along the corridors Daniel and Jacob moved in unison, reacting to awkward glances and condemning stares.  Daniel frowned.  'What's wrong with everyone today?' he asked himself.  The corridor went silent as they turned the corner.  All eyes seemed to be fixated on the two men standing unaware at the top.  In the middle of the corridor a small red puddle of blood was spilled on the floor and a nervous captain looked on as the crews tried to clean it up.  Daniel asked.  He shouldn't of.  "What happened?", he asked innocent from the knowledge.  He was met with worried, frantic glances around each and every person in that small cramped passageway.  "What happened?" he asked again this time, serious.  The lightness had gone from his voice, replaced by a forceful apprehensive tone.

            "Colonel O'Neill…" one man started coyly

            "What? What's happened to him?" Daniel replied

            "No, Colonel O'Neill did this to Lieutenant Bailey.  He just, flipped, went berserk"  The realization hit Daniel hard.  Jack was beyond it if he has already gone completely total already.  Daniel had expected a little, but attacking another officer was beyond his comprehension.  Why would he do this?  He didn't like 'snake heads' but the Tok'ra were different.  "What's happened to him?" he asked the dread showing in his voice

            "The General suspended him, told him to leave the base"

            "Hammond must have been really cheesed off with Jack if he did that" he mumbled

            "I'll talk to Hammond" Jacob added carefully "See what I can do, but first…"  He gestured towards the Infirmary and both men continued onwards.  Daniel was caught up in the middle of a war where someone was going to get hurt, guaranteed.  He shoved his hands into his pockets and dragged his feet childishly along.  He yanked off his thin black frames and rubbed his eyes.  This was going to be a long day.

**********

            Jack threw his belongings into the trunk and flopped in lazily.  The tall peak of Cheyenne was dusted over with this years snow.  His normally blue car was now a pure sheet white.  Obviously these guys had never heard of garages.  He fumbled around trying to poke the keys into the ignition.  The car rumbled into life and the wipers swept away gracefully the snow attached to the windscreen.  He threw he car into gear and pulled out of the main gates to a quick salute from the unlucky guard.  He turned onto the road, twisting the tuner into a station.  The music blared out of the speakers causing nothing more than noise in the car.  But it drowned out the cries of others, it blocked the nagging and the disapproval.  A deep voice talked slowly through the microphone, introducing the next song.  It was soft, slow.  A simple guitar line repeated several times.  A strong male voice added to this.  The lyrics were strong, they were full of hurt and as the title says 'No Regrets'

Tell me a story, where we all changed

And we live our lives together, and not estranged

I didn't loose my mind, it was mine to give away

Couldn't stay to watch me cry, you didn't have the time

So I softly slip away

            The chorus broke in a smooth transition into his feelings on the aftermath

No regrets, they don't work

No regrets now, they only hurt

Sing me love song, drop me a line

Suppose it's just a point of view

But they tell me I'm doing fine

#

I know from the outside, we were good for each other

Felt things were going wrong when, you didn't like my mother

I don't want to hate but that's all you've left me with

A bitter aftertaste and no fantasy

Of how we all should live

#

No regrets, they don't work

No regrets now, they only hurt

I know there still talking, the demons in your head

If I could just stop hating, you I'd feel sorry for us instead

#

Remember the photographs, insane

The one's where we all laughed, so lame

We were having the time of or lives well thank you

It was a real blast

#

No regrets, they don't work

No regrets now, they only hurt

Sing me love song, drop me a line

Suppose it's just a point of view

But they tell me I'm doing fine

#

Everything I wanted to be, every time I walked away

Every time you told me leave, I just wanted to stay

Every time you looked at me, and every time you smile

I felt so vacant, you treat me like a child

I loved the way we used to laugh, I love the way we used to smile

Often I sit down and think of you for a while

And then it passes me but I think of someone else instead

I guess the love we once had is officially

Dead

            The song ended abruptly.  A painful tail of a broken heart.  Jack felt exactly the same way.  Everything had changed.  Every thought, emotion came screaming up to the surface once more.  He had felt something for Sam, but that had changed.  She's not the same.  The demons are real.  The pain was real.  The photographs were real.  He threw the car into top gear and charged past anyone on the road.  He was going to end this, soon and at any cost.

**********

            Daniel walked into the infirmary distracted by Jacks actions of late.  He looked up to see Teal'c still stood there, guarding his friend.  Only a few nurses were in the room, tending, caring for the patient.  "You alright?" he asked

            "I am fine Daniel Jackson" he replied

            Daniel looked like he was, distracted, worried.  Janet was in the main part of the infirmary making sure Jacks victim had nothing more than a serious concussion and a deep cut to the back of his head.  He looked on Sam and was glad she didn't know what was happening in the real world.  He dragged the chair over to her bed side and motion for Jacob to sit down.  He declined the offer, opting to stand over her.  They just watched in silence.  Not even an exchange of glances, except stealing one at the clock, 8 o'clock.

            Janet walked in on them and saw a very worried team of people.  "Watching her every none movement won't make a difference" she said softly, understanding they were worried "She'll wake up in her own time" she finished as she grabbed a quick look at the board hanging on the end of her bed.

            "I know it won't help but" Daniel paused for a second mid sentence "I just want to be here when she wakes up.  I'll feel guilty otherwise" he finished

            "Why because she was always there for you?" she inquired

            Daniel smiled and nodded.  He looked over at the heart monitor, wishing he could do something more.  He leaned back in his chair and leaned his head backwards, looking up at the ceiling.  He rubbed his face roughly and sat up.

            "General Carter, General Hammond asks when you are planning to return to Vorash" Janet said standing up right slightly upon addressing him.

            "He knows when I'll go back" he said, his eyes still fixed on his daughter

            The silence resumed as they were all now watching.  Janet was the first to move.  In her past experience no one had ever taken a bullet to the heart and lived.  Then again, those she treated didn't have an alien living in them as well which helps healing.  She just walked out the door when a chair scrapped the floor and landed with a thud on the floor.  Janet turned around to see Daniel stood bolt upright, his eyes dancing over Sam's body.  Jacob was stood, slack jawed at the end of her bed.  Teal'c had now even positioned himself closer.

            Janet came back in quickly and then saw a miracle.

            A clenched fist moved slowly along the bed.  The previously lifeless shoulders now animated themselves a scrunched up around the owners head.  Sam mumbled softly as she fought her way back into the living world, he body fighting to stay alive.  Janet moved past slowly, she pulled of the oxygen mask around her face.  Jacob moved over to the right hand side of the bed with Daniel and prayed that what they were seeing wasn't a horribly vivid dream.  A strangled cough, and an unhappy moan preceded an eye opening slowly, only being able to do half a job.  The other side joined in and some form of focus was gained.

            Sam woke up her eyes tried to focus but she knew where she was.  The shot still rang out in her ear, but that wasn't the last thing she remembered.  There were voices telling her ordering her to wake up.  These voices were coaxing her again trying to get her to wake up .  She opened her mouth to speak but her throat was dry.  She scrunched up her face and shifted her body into a more upright position.  She  tried to talk again.  Her voice was hoarse, staggered but still with that edge of confidence "Hello Campers"

**********