Disclaimer: The usual.
Note: Since many people seem to love this sort of fic, I've decided to make many, many more! And sooner too. Enjoy! =) Oh and read The Career, Another Day, Another Job, & Vegeta: The Bus Drivin' Man before this!
Note #2: I'm trying something new with this one. And there will be at least two more after this.
Saiyans in Space
A man comes out to a podium at what looks like a press conference. "On this day, in this month, of this year {'cuz I don't really know... ::sweatdrop::}, the citizens of Chikyuu have made startling advances in the space sciences and one man, er saiyan started it all..."
~FLASHBACK~
"ONNA! What in flaming hell do you want me to do now?!" Vegeta yelled to his wife at the kitchen table that morning. Bra and Trunks shook their heads. Not again.
"Yeah!" Trunks chimed in. "Haven't you learned your lesson yet?" Bulma glared him into silence.
"Why don't you try something you would actually like this time? Here's the want ads." She tossed the paper over to him and he caught it easily.
"Do I have to?" he almost whined.
"You know the penalty if you don't." He sure did and he knew she would do it to. He still couldn't believe that she would actually hide his pocky! He just loved the chocolate kind.
"Fine." Vegeta grumbled as he scanned the paper. Lawn mower? No. Professional lap dancer?! Hell no! Clown college? Tempting but no. Astronaut? Hmm...
"I've found one!" He announced.
"Good!" Bulma beamed. "Veggie-chan, please don't mess this one up."
"I'll try." He stood to go get into his black convertable. Bulma berated him severly about the last time he flew in the city.
Bulma kissed him on the cheek. "Ai shiteru." Trunks pretended to gag at the unusual display of affection.
Vegeta merely nodded as he left the Capsule Corp.
***
He drove to the Institute of All Space Things in Central Capital, pondering all the way. Don't know what an astronaut is, but I guess I'm willing to try it out. He sort of thought it had something to do with the green, grass-like stuff that he had seen on one of his favorite shows, The Brady Bunch.
"Yes, can I help you?" Asked a bored secretary at the front desk.
"I want to be an astronaut, woman!"
"Fine." She handed him several forms. "Fill these out and give them back to me. You will then proceed to the next step."
Vegeta took them, the clip board, and the pen, and moved to a chair. Name? Okay, that's easy. Naturally he scrawled Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyan Planet of Vegeta in his weirdly neat handwriting. Age? Wouldn't they like to know. And that was exactly what he put. Birthday? When is my birthday exactly? Father never told me. So for that one he just said 'yes'. Level of education completed? And 'degree required' is marked in bold, red letters?! K'so! Okay, for this one I'll fib a little. It's isn't like I'm a first timer. So he decided to put degree in nuclear physics (it was the only one he knew of) and add 'doctorate' for good measure. He finished the rest of that form and the others without too many problems.
He gave it to the woman who had now started filing her nails.
"Okay." She scanned it briefly. And one thing caught her eye. "You're allergic to 'Kakarott's stupidity'?"
Vegeta shrugged. "I think it's contagious and that question was too stupid to even have on there."
She sweatdropped. "Okay... You may go to that room over there." She pointed to a door that simply said 'Testing Lab'.
"Fine." Vegeta knocked and after a short wait he disappeared through the door.
***
"Why hello! You're in need of the standard eye and hearing exam right?"
"I guess. Why does the door say testing lab?"
"Because I am also the head scientist for that. We're lowly funded." He motioned to a chair in the center of the room. "Sit here."
Vegeta complied and he began to look him over. "You're completely healthy." He pulled something from his pocket. "Here, have a tootsie roll pop." Vegeta glared at it a second before he snatched it. The doctor wrote something on another form and handed it to him. "All you have to do now is take this back to the secretary and you're all set. We'll call you if we need you. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get the job."
***
It was several days later before they called. He was sitting in the living room, watching tv, and eating his precious pocky.
"Moshi moshi? Oh, it's you. You need me to come there today?" He looked longingly at the tv. He would miss Gilligan's Island! Then he sighed. "All right. I'm on my way."
***
"Here, put on this space suit. We need you to assist with repairs on a space satellite and since you have a degree, you should know how to do it."
"Uh hai."
"Good." The scientist shoved a suit at Vegeta and directed him toward a dressing room.
"Could you get one my size?" Vegeta's voice drifted to him moments later. He emerged looking ridiculous. He was fine as long as he didn't have to walk. That caused disasterous results.
After that problem was taken care of, Vegeta was all set to go.
"It should take no less than an hour at your expertise. I really hate having to do things like this, but all of the good space exploration is reserved for big shots like NASA."
"As long as I get paid."
The scientist nodded even as he sweatdropped. "Sure, sure. Now go fix it!" Vegeta glared at him. "Please?"
***
One small step for me, one giant leap for saiyan kind! Vegeta tried his best at the repairs, but all he suceeded in doing was get extremely frustrated where he proceeded to 'beat the crap' out of the offending object.
"K'so! Piece of worthless junk!" he kicked it again. "Were you made by the Capsule Corp.? Bulma in particular?"
"Talking to machinery is one of the first signs that you're not 'all there' you know." A woman they called Minna said to him.
"Did I ask you?" Vegeta growled. "Don't think so!"
"Well excuse me!" She huffed as she walked by him. "By the way, I'm not as stupid as those others so I know you've never seen the inside of a college before. You better not push me." She continued on her way.
"Damn!"
***
After he blew up the satellite and made it back home, Bulma was there waiting for him at the backdoor.
"What's this I hear about you insulting my work?"
"Nani? Whatever do you mean?" he asked innocently.
"A woman named Minna called. You should no better than to do that! You know I will find out!"
Vegeta started to mumble curses as Bulma continued to talk. "Now, you can go be with your gravity chamber, because you aren't sleeping in here!" She shoved a pillow and a blanket at him and slammed the door in his face.
"Damn, damn, DAMN!"
~END FLASHBACK~
The man looked around. "Okay, so he didn't advance the sciences. He didn't do much of anything at all!"
The crowd laughed a bit at this.
A beam of light sliced through the air and into the man's heart. As he was dying, Vegeta came over and began to speak. "I guess a promise of life wasn't good enough for him."
~OWARI~
Don't worry, there's more.
Definitions for those who didn't know
Pocky - A really good japanese snack food. It comes in a variety of flavors from chocolate to strawberry to chocolate almond. You can buy it online at japanesesnacks.com.
Ai shiteru - I love you.
K'so (same as kuso and chikuso) - shit