Love isn't
jealous, love is kind, love isn't hated, love never knew an end, and love never
knew Hikari Yagami. A perfect girl in a less than perfect world. An
acquaintance as she knew me but an angel as I knew her. I see her from a
distance but when her eyes meet mine I would melt into them. She was everything
I wanted and everything I needed but I was everything she didn't want, a mere
shadow in her wondrous world.
I know
where her heart resides where and who she'll love and how happy she'll be,
because I see, I see it in her eyes when she is with him, Takeru Takashi. For
many a year I envied him for his charming ways and how he had Hikari but now I
know better, hating him won't bring her back to me and its best if I support
and watch from the sides. But inside I feel like I can fall apart and nobody
knows it but me.
I don't see
her as often in high school but if I do she'll wave to me and smile, I only
wave back. And if I play a soccer game that day I'll win the game for Hikari, I
haven't lost a game yet on day she's waved to me.
Sometimes I
think she might have given me a chance if I wasn't the jerk to Takeru as I had
been but, I always will and can regret what I've lost her. I've never seen
anyone like her.
I have
tried dating but I always end up comparing the girl to Hikari and how much the
girl isn't Hikari and why she doesn't act like Hikari or talk like Hikari or
laugh like Hikari. There I go again remembering all her little features that I
hold so dearly to me.
I don't
think I'll get over her and I don't want too. I think I will be successful in
life and still have a good soccer career, for her or maybe I'll do something
world wide and it will be recognized nationally and she call me out of the blue
and say "Wow Daisuke I'm so glad and proud of you what a good friend you are!"
I dream of that day too bad it's only a dream, but I still hope.
Why am I
not friends with her? Despite my digimental of courage and friendship I still
and will probably never, ever have the guts to even go up and talk to her but
someday I will, someday, someday when I realize exactly what I need to say and
do but right now I don't and I don't think I'll know for awhile but I'm content
with that, for I know it will soon come to me.
Sometimes I
think about Takeru and what a great guy he is how he rarely blew steam and
anger at me and how he would have been more than happy to befriend me, but I
didn't and I won't think of changing the past because I can't and it won't help
to think of it.
When I
think of feelings for emotions I have most of the time I come up with a blank,
sure I may sound heart broken but mainly I want to do something meaningful for
Hikari so that in some way she won't forget me.
I want her to see I am not a selfish, annoying teenager but a
person who cares for her a lot and wants to give everyone a smile; even in the
most dire situations I could always find courage to make everything all right. But
that was the days of the digital world,
I believe I have changed since then especially after I lost V-mon. I now look
fondly at my D-3 and remember him, not in sadness but in gladness at all our
times together and our adventures. Maybe I still haven't been looking for what
I need to know and right I know I've
only seen half of the jigsaw puzzle of life because I was too blind to realize
that there was more of it. That I think I might have chose to ignore, only
looking straight ahead at Hikari, not left nor right or toward opportunity, I
looked for it in all the wrong places.
So now I
know what I need to find and think I need is to know what to think about to
start looking for in my life. I just know its all for the best, she's not mine.
Maybe I'll find myself in this world, all I can do is look. But I found her,
and I believe I helped her in someway I've yet to figure out. But now I leave
her to her happiness, in her perfect world.
