Chapter 3: The Second Day
Author's notes: Glad you like the stories, so I'm coming out with a new chapter right now! Keep reviewing.
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"Why me?!" whined Ryouga as Kuno and Mousse shoved him toward a cannon. "Because, you have the hardest head of any of us. You would be doing our crusade well." Kuno said, tears streaming down his eyes. "You have an even thicker head." Muttered the lost boy. "What was that?" snapped Kuno. "Nothing."
Ryouga gave a dejected sigh as he climbed into the canon. Mousse aimed it towards the castle's weak spot, a window. Due to the activity with in the room(they had a pretty good idea of which,) the pane had shattered. The girls had put up a plank of wood until a replacement could come.
"Ready…"
"Uh, guys…"
"Aim…."
"You know I don't think I want to do this…"
"FIRE!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
Ryouga went hurtling at his destination, a solid object. He shut his eyes and braced for impact.
Akane was looking at a magazine with an annoyed look while lifting a 10 lbs. weight in the other hand. "I wish I could test this on someone.." she glanced at the other occupants. "Ukyo looked up from the cook book she was reading. "Don't look at me." Shampoo and Kodachi gave her looks that said "No." "How about Ranma?" suggested Shampoo.
Akane shook her head. 'I think he need some rest right now." The girls pondered the situation for a moment before hearing faint screaming that kept getting close till the all jumped when Ryouga's head burst through the make-shift shutters. Akane grinned broadly as Ryouga snapped out of his daze and began to shake when he saw her smile.
Kuno and Mousse watched from the outside as the Eternally Lost Boy's head went through the window shutters. "Excellent! Now let us in!" Mousse called up to him. Ryouga's body didn't move then it twitched slightly. Scratching their heads the other two boys watched the lost one as he suddenly began to thrash violently, his screams coming clear and loud. Mousse and Kuno watched with horror, then Kuno bowed his head out of respect, and ashen faced, Mousse pulled out a small bugle and began to play Taps. Then Ryouga's body was pulled in all the way.
Suddenly the front door opened and Ryouga stumbled out. "Visit sometime again, sugar." Ukyo called out. He ambled over the drawbridge and up to his comrades. They stared blankly at him for a moment then turned red in the face and burst out laughing, tears running down their faces. "What's so funny?"
Ryouga's head was a riot. His hair had been dyed bright orange with some purple highlights. His eyebrows had been teased until the curls had curls. His face was powder white, and his eye's were drowning in eye shadow. His lips had black lipstick and to top it off, there was a comb stuck in his hair, tangling it into a very messy knot. They had mercifully left his bandana alone, save tying a polka dotted ribbon to it.
"My god, they turned him into a mime!!" Mousse gasped in between fits of hysterics.
"Laugh it up. Laugh it up. Now if excuse me, my blush is smudged." Ryouga stomped off. Mousse and Kuno looked at each other, then burst once again into peals of laughter.
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The Next Morning….
Ryouga leaned ageist a tree as he and Mousse watched Kuno climb up to the tallest tree near the castle. The would be samurai was tying a rope to one of the higher braches. "Now the golden wigs of Lamoure shall guide me to yonder portal and to the fair lady Tendo!" Mousse slapped his face with his hand and Ryouga feigned death. "Yoinks and Away!" Kuno cried, putting a rose in his teeth and swinging out on the rope.
Ryouga and Mousse where awed by the Blue Thunder's excellent swashbuckler rope swing. They would have applauded him, if he didn't hit the tree in front of him. Kuno then continued cry "Yoinks and Away!" And every time he crashed into various environmental objects such as trees, really large boulders, cattle, and other barriers after each time he would try again still crying his cry. Each time sounding more drunk until finally smacking into the castle wall with a cry of " Yoinks and….aw hell with it."
Kuno moaned as he began to slowly peel off the wall and fell into the moat. The surface was still and peaceful…then one bubble came up, then another, and several more, then the surface broke. A very wet and mangled Kuno was screaming, while holding the jaws of Mr. Turtle apart with his feet, forcing him to do a very painful split. "HEEEELLLP MEEEE!!!"
On shore Mousse and Ryouga were eating their breakfast in companionable silence. After awhile of screaming Ryouga turned to face Kuno, who was hanging on to the back of the gator's neck as it bucked and twisted. "Hey Kuno, quit playing with Mr. Turtle and come get your breakfast!" Ryouga turned back to his food. "What the hell is he doing over there?" asked Mousse. "He's perfecting his alligator wrestling skills." The Hidden weapons master glanced causal in Kuno's direction. "He certainly needs practice." Mr. Turtle floated lazily on the surface, a pair of kicking legs were sticking out of his jaws.
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'Well now what do we do?" asked Mousse. Ryouga shrugged. "Maybe we could dig another tunnel?" Kuno snorted derisively. "Yeah, and perhaps we'll end up in Tibet." Ryouga glared at him.
"How about we pose as sales men?"
"Nah, I just saw two of them go up. Shampoo smooshed them her maces and threw them in the moat."
"Maybe we could flood the castle?"
"Akane can't swim!!"
"Not my problem."
'Shut up! Maybe we could….OW!"
"Maybe we could what?"
Ryouga rubbed his head and held up a brick. "Hey up here!" They looked up to see Ranma leaning out a window. "What do you want, you insufferable woman snatcher?" asked Kuno. "Oh nothing, nothing at all. Just have a word from the inside." That got their attention.
"What do they want?" asked Kuno hopefully. "Oh nothing, they're just inviting Ryouga up." Ranma ad hardly finish speaking before seeing Ryouga jump over 5 ft in the air with joy. "WAHOOO!!"
"Wait, there's a catch, he has to be P-chan."
"No deal Saotome! Either we all get in or none of us do, Right Hibiki? Hibiki?" Kuno and Mousse sweat dropped as they saw Ryouga running up the draw bridge. "SO LONG LOSERS!!" Ryouga shouted as he poured a canteen of water on his head. Then to rub it in his ex-comrade's faces, P-chan began to moon walk the rest of the way in. "I didn't know pigs could do that." Muttered Mousse. "You should see him tap dance."
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Earlier that morning……
"Oh what a wonderful day!" Kodachi sang as she danced down the stair case, the black robe with rose imprints fluttering out as the gymnast pirouetted on one foot. "Well, look who finally come down." Akne said. Kodachi shrugged as she walked into the kitchen. "Where, Arien?" asked Shampoo suspiciously. "Oh, he be along. He's a little….out of sorts right now." She said with a wink. The other girls shook their heads. A few minutes later Ranma stumbled down the stair case, ambled over to his chair at the table and after sitting down, let his head fall forward.
"Morning Ranma."
"Mo…morning." He mumbled picking his head up. He girls gave him a look of concern. "I lived the night, congratulate me." He then eagerly grabbed the breakfast that Ukyo set before him. "Just what did you do to him?" asked Ukyo with a dangerous gleam in her eye. Kodachi sipped her tea.
"Nothing *too* kinky."
"He was screaming for half the night."
Before Kodachi could answer a whip fell out of her robe's sleeve. Akane picked it up and gave the gymnast a withering look. "I didn't actually hit him with it." She said defensively. "Then why, Arien scream during night?" asked Shampoo. "She faked me out." Ranma answered wiping his chin. The girls glared at Kodachi, who sighed with frustration. "Okay, no more dominatrix……for a while." She added the last part quietly.
"Ranma?"
"Mmm?"
"Could you invite Ryouga in? Tell him he has to be P-chan though."
"Why?"
"So the others won't get jealous."
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Present….
"Don't let Hibiki's mutiny get you down, men. We shall prevail!" Kuno was giving Mousse a failed pep talk, which he was naturally ignoring. Kuno went on for another 20 minutes before Mousse marked his place in War and Peace and slipped it back into his sleeve.
"Well if your quite finished, I suggest we find away in there before the end of the summer." Mousse proposed. They both sat down and though for a moment before Mousse's face brightened. "I have an idea. But first…do you know the name of this castle?" Kuno shook his head and then noticed a sign. "Hello? Let's see here….oh. The name is in Gaelic." Kuno scratched his head, Mousse pulled out an extremely thick Maderian to world language book and flipped through a few pages. "Let's see…ah here it is! Castle…Ku..Kumbuquet."
"That name sounds familiar…"Kuno said thoughtfully. "No time for that now. We have to get to the post office." The blind martial artist cried as he dragged Kuno off to a near by village.
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A Few Short Hours Later……
The girls and Ranma were in the small gym working out. Akane heard the faint whistle of the postman and stopped mutilating the punching bag. "Hey Shampoo, could you go get that?" Shampoo put down the barbell she was lifting and grabbed a towel as she exited.
Shampoo opened the door and found a large package on the threshold. The box itself looked battered and warped. She curiously checked it out. That's funny, no return address. It looks broken, I'd better send it back. With that the Amazon took her bicycle and set off for the town.
In Nermia………..
The post truck drove by the Tendo Dojo, the previously mentioned box being punted out of the truck. It was covered by stamps and labels. A few groans emitted out of it and it feel apart, releasing an equal batter and bruised Mousse and Kuno.
"Damn it! We're right back where we started!" Moaned Kuno. "We have to get back…but first, get me to Doctor Tofu's. Quick!"
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End of Chapter 3