*sniffles* Stupid plot lines… why the hell did I have to introduce a plot? Oh right… the comedy of it all… Hmph. Anyway- sadly I will NOT be using Lady Serena's awesome suggestion just yet (not telling just what that was yet…) I promise it'll be in the next chapter. 'stead, I'll be using a suggestion by Jennie-chan. *smiles at Jennie-chan, who gives her the thumbs up from under one of the tables in the Karoke Bar* You're welcome to stay J-chan. You're guest of honor today.
Heero: Omea o korosu, Jennie-chan.
Jennie-chan: heh- sorry Heero, you can't kill me! I'M AN AUTHORESS, TOO! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Heero: ...damn!
Lady: Actual insert from review. *grins* I LOVE being the author… otherwise I would probably be in traction now. *looks down at her dislocated knee* hmmmm… it appears they DID find a way to extract their revenge… *shrugs* It'll come back to haunt them ten-fold. Anyways, on we go. Thank you again, Jennie!
One more thing: I HATE *nsync. I hate them with a passion. I think it's the whole Justin Timberlake thing. I REALLY hate him. If I bash them in the course of this fic, please don't be offended. It's just my opinion. I'm entitled to it as you are to yours. *GLARES at CD player where 'No Strings Attatched' has been going for the last hour or so while she writes* it's almost over, Lady. Almost over… then you can throw it into the Abyss again…
________________________________________
Space Cowboy
A deranged songfic by Lady Lye
Disclaimer: Any threats on *Nsync's lives are to be ignored. I don't REALLY want to kill them. That's Heero job. *she exchanges malicious grins with Heero* O yeh, I don't own most of the stuff in here. If you try to sue me, I'll take out my anti-*Nsync rage on you. 'Nuff said.
________________________________________
Where we last left off:
The boys had finished their little performance of Gundam No. 5 (my apologies, it sucked, I know… I wasn't really up to writing it… I just wanted to show that I was indeed planning to continue…) and having taken the opportunity to threaten the author- Lady was VERY pissed at them. She threw them out onto the street so that the story and plot could continue, leaving her out of it, as it should be.
"So you're the guys who've put this bar on the map after only one song?"
The boys looked up at the figure from their heap on the dirty sidewalk. He was of average height, wearing a jacket that looked fairly expensive and his hair was neatly groomed. They quickly untangled themselves and stood, trying to regain their composure.
"May we help you?" Quatre tried to ask politely.
"I'm Cliff Hangar," the guy said, pulling out a business card.
"You've got to be kidding me…" Duo muttered skeptically. (AN: It just came to me… I realized I'd named him Cliff and it just came to me…Behold the power of Cheesiness.)
"My parents had a sense of humor," Cliff glared at him. A slight chill ran up the boys' backs… (AN: I'm watching you, boys…) Cliff coughed. "As I was saying, I'm a talent scout. I think you boys may have something here."
"Sorry pal, but you're out of luck," Heero gave him his usual penetrating stare.
"I don't get it," Quatre said, looking at Trowa who shook his head to show that he also didn't get it.
"What I'm proposing," Cliff said, "Is for a revival of a very old and very successful fad- the Boy Band."
Wufei's eyes bugged out. "BOY BANDS ARE WEAK! I WILL NOT BE PART OF IT!"
"I agree," Heero said. "We don't have time to waste on-"
Duo had been thinking this over. Fame… Screaming fans… A shot at a hit record… Girls… Fame… Didn't girls tend to take their shirts off at concerts? "We'll do it! Sign us up!"
"Duo!" they exclaimed.
"Great," Cliff said, giving his card to Duo. "I'll see you all at this address tomorrow at two for a trial run. If it goes well, we'll do lunch, yes?" he walked off towards his car around the corner.
"Maxwell…" Wufei growled through gritted teeth.
"Hey, come on! It'll be fun!" Duo said, putting a friendly arm around Heero's and Quatre's shoulders. "Who knows- maybe we'll end up on MTV!"
________________________________________
The next afternoon, Duo had to practically drag them all to the place Cliff had told them to meet him. He had had to confiscate all weaponry and other types of firearms and it was not a happy crew that entered the building. The receptionist gave them funny looks, but sent them upstairs to meet Cliff.
"Yo, Crag!" Duo called as they entered Cliff's office.
Cliff winced a little. "It's CLIFF. Not crag."
"He knows that," Heero told him. "He thinks it's fun. Try to ignore him and maybe he'll shut up."
"Course if we leave then you won't have to listen to Maxwell anymore," Wufei said hopefully.
"Right…" Cliff could see this was going to be a LONG screening session… "Alright, I need you all to fill out these forms. When you're done I'll take you into wardrobe and then-"
"You want us to sing again?" Trowa asked, wide-eyed. Cliff had already left.
"Omea o korosu, Duo," Heero snarled.
"Aw, just do what Precipice said," Duo said jauntily and took a seat.
They reluctantly followed his example. All was not silent however.
"What sign am I?" Quatre blinked at the sheet.
"Mine's 'No Parking'," Heero said in his typical monotone.
Duo sweatdropped a little, unsure if that was a joke or not. "They mean Zodiac sign. Course that's sorta hard considering the whole not knowing when most of us were born…"
"Marital status?" Trowa said in surprise.
"Widow," Wufei said, checking it off.
"Favorite color?" Heero frowned at the form. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"Favorite animal? Favorite Ice cream? Favorite clothing brand- what are these?" Quatre looked through the small packet, completely surprised.
"Ah, I see…" Duo nodded in understanding. "It's for the fangirls."
"Pardon?" they blinked at him.
"Well, when girls fall in love with a band, they want to know everything about them. That's what these questions are. Ooh- my favorite underwear… boxers or briefs… boxers or briefs…" he tapped the pen against his knee, unsure what to write.
"This is stupid," Heero said. "I'm not doing this-"
"Heero, you have to! C'mon and lighten up!" Duo protested. "You agreed to come this far- you can't back out now!"
"Actually none of us agreed to anything," Trowa said judiciously.
"Everybody done?" Cliff came back in. "Great. This way," he lead them to Wardrobe.
________________________________________
While the boys changed, Cliff talked to his executive producer over the vid-phone or whatever the hell you call those things…
"So which one's which?"
"I'm faxing you a list now."
"Great," Cliff grabbed it from the printer and looked it over. Great. Thanks Eyl."
"Anytime."
He went to meet the boys as they emerged, fully costumed. "Hey, you guys look great." He shmoozed.
All but Duo glared at him. They had been thrust into cowboy outfits- and very skimpy ones at that. Duo, Heero and Quatre got hats. They all wore leather vests- no shirts- (AN: MEGA *drool* MEGA *grin*), and most of them looked very uncomfortable about this, especially Quatre. Each got a metal holster that Heero has been disappointed to find had no real guns or bullets in it. Their chaps were also leather and had the appropriate fringe along the outside of the legs. Each had also been given a bandana but they were still fixing those as they wanted them.
Duo tied his around his neck triumphantly and cocked his hat, giving a silly grin. "Howdy, pardner."
Quatre neatly folded his and stuck it in the pocket of his vest, like a gentleman. He then closed the vest as best he could to hide his bare chest.
Trowa frowned at the bandana before twisting his into a rope, unlike Duo's, which was folded in half in a triangle with only the two ends tied, and tying it around his neck that way. He waited for orders.
Wufei and Heero has both tied theirs the same way Duo had- but looked like bandits with the bandana's half covering their faces.
"Uh, nice idea- but that's really not great for performing," Cliff said to the two stony-faced soldiers.
"Hn," was the only response.
"Yeah, c'mon- no one will be able to hear you sing-" Duo yanked them both down around their necks.
"Baka," Heero GLARED at him.
"That was the POINT, Maxwell," Wufei growled. "Also so that we wouldn't be recognized!"
"Ooh, picture op!" Cliff cried, summoning over a camera guy, who took pictures of the mostly bewildered former pilots. "Or not. Let's get you your music and then onstage-"
________________________________________
"Why did we let you talk us into this?" Sally sighed.
Hilde and Catherine smiled at her and Relena beyond her. (AN: No Dorothy. Dorothy is evil. Dorothy will not appear here. 'Nuff said.) The ladies were sitting in the very small auditorium in the very same building our story is taking place. It was filled with both people asked to come and those, like themselves, who had just decided to show up. The stage in front was decked out like a real concert's would be and for now, it was empty.
"We thought it would be a fun girl's afternoon out," Catherine said.
"I hear they get some really kawaii guys in here," Hilde seconded. "And since Duo and the other guys took off, what else do we have to do?"
Relena rolled her eyes and glared at Hilde. "I wish they'd told us where they were going."
"Hmph. As if they would," Sally harrumphed.
"Ooh- it's starting!"
Cliff walked onstage and stood behind the microphone in front. "Welcome everyone. Thank you all for attending this week's screening session. Your input is very valuable to us, and so I ask you to turn to the screen on the back of the chair in front of you." All the screens switched on with the bios of all the groups performing today available on it's menu. "We ask that you take the next few minutes to review the information before you and become familiar with the system. As each act performs, any comments you may have will be more than welcome, and in fact, mandatory. (AN: *sigh* why can't reviewing be like that… *grin*) Enjoy the performance," he walked offstage.
"Hmmm… Act 1's got a cutie in it…" Hilde browsed through the options on the screen.
Relena did so as well and nearly chocked. "Heero! Oh my god! Duo! Quatre! Trowa! Wufei!"
"WHERE?!" all the girls stared at her screen.
"They're performing!!" they looked at the group shot of all the boys in their cowboy outfits in shock.
"I TOLD you they got kawaii guys in here!" Hilde said proudly.
"Oh wow…" Relena scrolled down.
"Those outfits are HOT," Sally couldn't seem to keep her jaw up.
"Look- they assigned them nicknames-" Catherine pointed.
~~~
Name: Trowa Barton
The "Older Brother"
~~~
Name: Chang Wufei
The "Rebel"
~~~
Name: Quatre Winner
The "Lovable Shy One"
~~~
Name: Duo Maxwell
The "Cute One"
~~~
Name: Heero Yuy
The "Hunky Leader"
~~~
"Well they sure got Quatre down," Relena said.
"Trowa too," Catherine agreed. "Even though technically I'm older…"
"Since when is Duo the 'cute' one?" Hilde demanded. "Why haven't I seen this 'cute'ness? Hmm? Does it just suddenly disappear when I enter the room?"
"You can make comments about that," Sally pointed out.
Hilde typed in Duo Maxwell: The Obnoxiously Stupid and Goofy But Loveable One". They all snickered.
"Damn, they're the third group. We'll have to wait," Relena pouted.
"Did you just swear?" the others blinked at her.
"YES, I swear," Relena said defensively. "Just because I'm a pacifist it doesn't mean I don't get angry! What!? Stop looking at me like that!"
________________________________________
Backstage, the boys anxiously awaited their turn. 'Anxious', of course, is used rather loosely. Wufei and Heero were trying to come up with the worst way to kill Duo. Trowa was leafing through a magazine. Quatre was biting his nails he was so nervous. Duo was watching the other acts.
"Ah, we're a zillion times better than they are," he said. "No contest. You guys ready? We're up next." He turned to them, saw their reactions and sweatdropped. "That's the spirit, eh heh…"
The little red light went on as the song ended. The group onstage exited to Stage Left. The boys were on Stage Right.
"It's Showtime!" Duo bounded out, followed much more slowly by the others.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Group #3," a mechanized voice intoned for the audience. Like they couldn't tell.
"WHOOO!" Hilde cheered and the four girls clapped enthusiastically.
The boys arranged themselves on the darkened stage, beginning to get the hang of this.
Trowa:
Sandrock, TB
Come in over
Yo, turn me up
I wanna be heard
See, I'm talking bout the future y'all
And the future looks bright
'specially when we rip in half
They came forward in a blaze of sparks from the equipment. The girls in front immediately decided that they liked this group…
Heero:
Here it comes, revolution
And we've come a long way to frikkin kick some-
Is this the beginning or beginning of the end?
Well, I've got other thoughts, my friend
Duo:
See, I've got my eyes on the skies
No fear to leave me paralyzed
If you're in the mood to start a fight
Then strap on a suit and get inside
Hilde, Relena, Sally and Catherine stared in absolute shock as the boys continued to move through the chorus. As they turned around, the girl's jaws in the floor. Those were some MIGHTY big holes in those chaps!!
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Sally started to laugh. "Gundam Asses! I love it!"
"No way!" Relena exclaimed. Ooh, her Heero's butt was SO cute…
Hilde let out another woop of joy and fished in her pocket for a ten. "Duo! I love yooooou!! Whoo!"
"Stop that!" Relena pulled her back into her seat. Course, those girls in front seemed to have the same idea as Hilde.
Catherine was laughing her head off. She quickly pulled out a camera and started snapping. "Since we don't have any pictures of Trowa naked as a baby- these will have to do!"
"Make us copies!"
Wufei:
We don't need all these politicians
Telling us who we're gonna fight (gonna fight)
Cause paranoia ain't the way to live your life from day to day
So leave your doubts and your fears behind
Quatre:
Don't be afraid at all
Cause up in outer space there's no gravity to fall
Put your mind and your body to the test
Cuz up in outer space it's like the wild, wild west
The girl's jaws dropped again. The girls in front started screaming their heads off, much to the discomfort of the guys stuck up there with them. Had- had- had Quatre just made a suggestive movement?!?!
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
(rap)
Heero:
Boom! And never let you try to stop me
Born to fight sky high up to the top see
Nothing to fear, no doubts and no tears
Trowa:
Revolution sound to motivate the future years
And you can either be scared or prepared
Against all odds I bet you never would've dared
Duo:
To make these moves and take flight like me
To come through for the world, just like me
Space connect to overthrow your interception
Ready or not, make it hot
Wufei:
That ain't no question
Get your gun and put your eye to the fun
Quatre:
Keep the dream
One love from Q-kun
He winked at the screaming crowd. Heero was looking a little pissed. HE was the star around here…
The four in the back instantly changed their minds as to just which pilot was best. Ooh, Quatre… SEXY little Quatre…
(regular)
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight
Come and take a ride
Take a space ride with a cowboy
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
The sight of those nice, tight, exposed little asses on that last chorus sent the crowd up front into hysteria. They swarmed at the foot of the stage, reaching out for the pilots.
Hilde leapt over the seats to join them, waving her money, as more than a few other people seemed to be doing.
Sally was nearly in collapse. "I'm gonna bust Wufei for this SO much…"
Relena had found herself a new quandary. "Heero's got penetrating eyes… but Quatre's got those sweet blue ones that tell you everything… and he's got that angelic face and that golden hair… but Heero's hair is so wild and untamed… and Quatre's unattached while Heero's always pushing me away… hmm…" she wondered outloud.
"Don't even think about it!" Catherine told her, clutching the precious film to her chest. "Quatre's MINE now."
"I sure hope you got some great ass shots," Relena threatened.
Catherine grinned. "How many sets should I put you down for?"
On stage, the boys took their bows and quickly exited, not wanting to test the invisible ropes holding the crowd back. They'd had WAY too much experience with that.
As they left, Duo caught sight of a certain navy-haired figure joining the throng. "HILDE?!?! KUSO!" He beat his head against the wall as soon as they were offstage. "Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso!"
"What's wrong, Duo?" Trowa asked.
"Hilde was out there!" he continued to bang his head. "Crap crap crap crap crap!"
Quatre still seemed a tad high on adrenaline and the thrill that he had gotten from the crowd.
Heero sustained a glare at him. HE was the cool one… it somehow turned into a pout.
Wufei looked rather full of himself.
"That was great!" Cliff came backstage to greet them. "Absolutely terrific! Did you see what you did to that crowd? Wow- baby- I don't think that's happened since Frank Sinatra! We're just gonna get you guys cleaned up and then I think we have some contracts to discuss."
They all looked from Cliff to each other. "Contracts?"
________________________________________
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I've seen those chaps before… Can't remember where, but they just seemed SO appropriate… In case my explanation sucked somehow- the chaps have big holes right over each butt cheek exposing that fine, fine flesh. *grin/drool*
OK. *Nsync is hereby semi-tolerable. Damn now I have this stuck in my head… Anyway, thanks Jennie-chan! *beams at J.C. underneath the table* All suggestions are welcome!
In case you noticed, I didn't have to doctor too much- the feel of the song's pretty appropriate, no? Hmmm… what am I forgetting? Oh yes! Disclaimers and Copyrights! Erm, I dislike *Nsync… and I love GW… but I don't own either. I don't pretend to. But seeing as it's *NSTYNC (oops, did that slip?) we'll say that we care cause they're rich with legions of screaming fangirls behind them and probably a dozen lawyers ready to kick my ass for threatening Justin Timberlake. (Or threatening to threaten him more like it… I never actually did… Damn plot…)
End note getting long SO-
Love it? Hate it? Think I should roast in hell for marring the so-called good name of *Nstync? (oops… DAMN my typing }:) Not.) Think that all is forgiven cuz I put the GW boys in leather vests and chaps that showed their beyond kawaii asses? GIVE ME FRIKKIN FEEDBACK!
-Lady *grin- starts thinking of pilots in chaps and vests and starts drooling…*
Heero: Omea o korosu, Jennie-chan.
Jennie-chan: heh- sorry Heero, you can't kill me! I'M AN AUTHORESS, TOO! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Heero: ...damn!
Lady: Actual insert from review. *grins* I LOVE being the author… otherwise I would probably be in traction now. *looks down at her dislocated knee* hmmmm… it appears they DID find a way to extract their revenge… *shrugs* It'll come back to haunt them ten-fold. Anyways, on we go. Thank you again, Jennie!
One more thing: I HATE *nsync. I hate them with a passion. I think it's the whole Justin Timberlake thing. I REALLY hate him. If I bash them in the course of this fic, please don't be offended. It's just my opinion. I'm entitled to it as you are to yours. *GLARES at CD player where 'No Strings Attatched' has been going for the last hour or so while she writes* it's almost over, Lady. Almost over… then you can throw it into the Abyss again…
________________________________________
Space Cowboy
A deranged songfic by Lady Lye
Disclaimer: Any threats on *Nsync's lives are to be ignored. I don't REALLY want to kill them. That's Heero job. *she exchanges malicious grins with Heero* O yeh, I don't own most of the stuff in here. If you try to sue me, I'll take out my anti-*Nsync rage on you. 'Nuff said.
________________________________________
Where we last left off:
The boys had finished their little performance of Gundam No. 5 (my apologies, it sucked, I know… I wasn't really up to writing it… I just wanted to show that I was indeed planning to continue…) and having taken the opportunity to threaten the author- Lady was VERY pissed at them. She threw them out onto the street so that the story and plot could continue, leaving her out of it, as it should be.
"So you're the guys who've put this bar on the map after only one song?"
The boys looked up at the figure from their heap on the dirty sidewalk. He was of average height, wearing a jacket that looked fairly expensive and his hair was neatly groomed. They quickly untangled themselves and stood, trying to regain their composure.
"May we help you?" Quatre tried to ask politely.
"I'm Cliff Hangar," the guy said, pulling out a business card.
"You've got to be kidding me…" Duo muttered skeptically. (AN: It just came to me… I realized I'd named him Cliff and it just came to me…Behold the power of Cheesiness.)
"My parents had a sense of humor," Cliff glared at him. A slight chill ran up the boys' backs… (AN: I'm watching you, boys…) Cliff coughed. "As I was saying, I'm a talent scout. I think you boys may have something here."
"Sorry pal, but you're out of luck," Heero gave him his usual penetrating stare.
"I don't get it," Quatre said, looking at Trowa who shook his head to show that he also didn't get it.
"What I'm proposing," Cliff said, "Is for a revival of a very old and very successful fad- the Boy Band."
Wufei's eyes bugged out. "BOY BANDS ARE WEAK! I WILL NOT BE PART OF IT!"
"I agree," Heero said. "We don't have time to waste on-"
Duo had been thinking this over. Fame… Screaming fans… A shot at a hit record… Girls… Fame… Didn't girls tend to take their shirts off at concerts? "We'll do it! Sign us up!"
"Duo!" they exclaimed.
"Great," Cliff said, giving his card to Duo. "I'll see you all at this address tomorrow at two for a trial run. If it goes well, we'll do lunch, yes?" he walked off towards his car around the corner.
"Maxwell…" Wufei growled through gritted teeth.
"Hey, come on! It'll be fun!" Duo said, putting a friendly arm around Heero's and Quatre's shoulders. "Who knows- maybe we'll end up on MTV!"
________________________________________
The next afternoon, Duo had to practically drag them all to the place Cliff had told them to meet him. He had had to confiscate all weaponry and other types of firearms and it was not a happy crew that entered the building. The receptionist gave them funny looks, but sent them upstairs to meet Cliff.
"Yo, Crag!" Duo called as they entered Cliff's office.
Cliff winced a little. "It's CLIFF. Not crag."
"He knows that," Heero told him. "He thinks it's fun. Try to ignore him and maybe he'll shut up."
"Course if we leave then you won't have to listen to Maxwell anymore," Wufei said hopefully.
"Right…" Cliff could see this was going to be a LONG screening session… "Alright, I need you all to fill out these forms. When you're done I'll take you into wardrobe and then-"
"You want us to sing again?" Trowa asked, wide-eyed. Cliff had already left.
"Omea o korosu, Duo," Heero snarled.
"Aw, just do what Precipice said," Duo said jauntily and took a seat.
They reluctantly followed his example. All was not silent however.
"What sign am I?" Quatre blinked at the sheet.
"Mine's 'No Parking'," Heero said in his typical monotone.
Duo sweatdropped a little, unsure if that was a joke or not. "They mean Zodiac sign. Course that's sorta hard considering the whole not knowing when most of us were born…"
"Marital status?" Trowa said in surprise.
"Widow," Wufei said, checking it off.
"Favorite color?" Heero frowned at the form. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"Favorite animal? Favorite Ice cream? Favorite clothing brand- what are these?" Quatre looked through the small packet, completely surprised.
"Ah, I see…" Duo nodded in understanding. "It's for the fangirls."
"Pardon?" they blinked at him.
"Well, when girls fall in love with a band, they want to know everything about them. That's what these questions are. Ooh- my favorite underwear… boxers or briefs… boxers or briefs…" he tapped the pen against his knee, unsure what to write.
"This is stupid," Heero said. "I'm not doing this-"
"Heero, you have to! C'mon and lighten up!" Duo protested. "You agreed to come this far- you can't back out now!"
"Actually none of us agreed to anything," Trowa said judiciously.
"Everybody done?" Cliff came back in. "Great. This way," he lead them to Wardrobe.
________________________________________
While the boys changed, Cliff talked to his executive producer over the vid-phone or whatever the hell you call those things…
"So which one's which?"
"I'm faxing you a list now."
"Great," Cliff grabbed it from the printer and looked it over. Great. Thanks Eyl."
"Anytime."
He went to meet the boys as they emerged, fully costumed. "Hey, you guys look great." He shmoozed.
All but Duo glared at him. They had been thrust into cowboy outfits- and very skimpy ones at that. Duo, Heero and Quatre got hats. They all wore leather vests- no shirts- (AN: MEGA *drool* MEGA *grin*), and most of them looked very uncomfortable about this, especially Quatre. Each got a metal holster that Heero has been disappointed to find had no real guns or bullets in it. Their chaps were also leather and had the appropriate fringe along the outside of the legs. Each had also been given a bandana but they were still fixing those as they wanted them.
Duo tied his around his neck triumphantly and cocked his hat, giving a silly grin. "Howdy, pardner."
Quatre neatly folded his and stuck it in the pocket of his vest, like a gentleman. He then closed the vest as best he could to hide his bare chest.
Trowa frowned at the bandana before twisting his into a rope, unlike Duo's, which was folded in half in a triangle with only the two ends tied, and tying it around his neck that way. He waited for orders.
Wufei and Heero has both tied theirs the same way Duo had- but looked like bandits with the bandana's half covering their faces.
"Uh, nice idea- but that's really not great for performing," Cliff said to the two stony-faced soldiers.
"Hn," was the only response.
"Yeah, c'mon- no one will be able to hear you sing-" Duo yanked them both down around their necks.
"Baka," Heero GLARED at him.
"That was the POINT, Maxwell," Wufei growled. "Also so that we wouldn't be recognized!"
"Ooh, picture op!" Cliff cried, summoning over a camera guy, who took pictures of the mostly bewildered former pilots. "Or not. Let's get you your music and then onstage-"
________________________________________
"Why did we let you talk us into this?" Sally sighed.
Hilde and Catherine smiled at her and Relena beyond her. (AN: No Dorothy. Dorothy is evil. Dorothy will not appear here. 'Nuff said.) The ladies were sitting in the very small auditorium in the very same building our story is taking place. It was filled with both people asked to come and those, like themselves, who had just decided to show up. The stage in front was decked out like a real concert's would be and for now, it was empty.
"We thought it would be a fun girl's afternoon out," Catherine said.
"I hear they get some really kawaii guys in here," Hilde seconded. "And since Duo and the other guys took off, what else do we have to do?"
Relena rolled her eyes and glared at Hilde. "I wish they'd told us where they were going."
"Hmph. As if they would," Sally harrumphed.
"Ooh- it's starting!"
Cliff walked onstage and stood behind the microphone in front. "Welcome everyone. Thank you all for attending this week's screening session. Your input is very valuable to us, and so I ask you to turn to the screen on the back of the chair in front of you." All the screens switched on with the bios of all the groups performing today available on it's menu. "We ask that you take the next few minutes to review the information before you and become familiar with the system. As each act performs, any comments you may have will be more than welcome, and in fact, mandatory. (AN: *sigh* why can't reviewing be like that… *grin*) Enjoy the performance," he walked offstage.
"Hmmm… Act 1's got a cutie in it…" Hilde browsed through the options on the screen.
Relena did so as well and nearly chocked. "Heero! Oh my god! Duo! Quatre! Trowa! Wufei!"
"WHERE?!" all the girls stared at her screen.
"They're performing!!" they looked at the group shot of all the boys in their cowboy outfits in shock.
"I TOLD you they got kawaii guys in here!" Hilde said proudly.
"Oh wow…" Relena scrolled down.
"Those outfits are HOT," Sally couldn't seem to keep her jaw up.
"Look- they assigned them nicknames-" Catherine pointed.
~~~
Name: Trowa Barton
The "Older Brother"
~~~
Name: Chang Wufei
The "Rebel"
~~~
Name: Quatre Winner
The "Lovable Shy One"
~~~
Name: Duo Maxwell
The "Cute One"
~~~
Name: Heero Yuy
The "Hunky Leader"
~~~
"Well they sure got Quatre down," Relena said.
"Trowa too," Catherine agreed. "Even though technically I'm older…"
"Since when is Duo the 'cute' one?" Hilde demanded. "Why haven't I seen this 'cute'ness? Hmm? Does it just suddenly disappear when I enter the room?"
"You can make comments about that," Sally pointed out.
Hilde typed in Duo Maxwell: The Obnoxiously Stupid and Goofy But Loveable One". They all snickered.
"Damn, they're the third group. We'll have to wait," Relena pouted.
"Did you just swear?" the others blinked at her.
"YES, I swear," Relena said defensively. "Just because I'm a pacifist it doesn't mean I don't get angry! What!? Stop looking at me like that!"
________________________________________
Backstage, the boys anxiously awaited their turn. 'Anxious', of course, is used rather loosely. Wufei and Heero were trying to come up with the worst way to kill Duo. Trowa was leafing through a magazine. Quatre was biting his nails he was so nervous. Duo was watching the other acts.
"Ah, we're a zillion times better than they are," he said. "No contest. You guys ready? We're up next." He turned to them, saw their reactions and sweatdropped. "That's the spirit, eh heh…"
The little red light went on as the song ended. The group onstage exited to Stage Left. The boys were on Stage Right.
"It's Showtime!" Duo bounded out, followed much more slowly by the others.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Group #3," a mechanized voice intoned for the audience. Like they couldn't tell.
"WHOOO!" Hilde cheered and the four girls clapped enthusiastically.
The boys arranged themselves on the darkened stage, beginning to get the hang of this.
Trowa:
Sandrock, TB
Come in over
Yo, turn me up
I wanna be heard
See, I'm talking bout the future y'all
And the future looks bright
'specially when we rip in half
They came forward in a blaze of sparks from the equipment. The girls in front immediately decided that they liked this group…
Heero:
Here it comes, revolution
And we've come a long way to frikkin kick some-
Is this the beginning or beginning of the end?
Well, I've got other thoughts, my friend
Duo:
See, I've got my eyes on the skies
No fear to leave me paralyzed
If you're in the mood to start a fight
Then strap on a suit and get inside
Hilde, Relena, Sally and Catherine stared in absolute shock as the boys continued to move through the chorus. As they turned around, the girl's jaws in the floor. Those were some MIGHTY big holes in those chaps!!
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Sally started to laugh. "Gundam Asses! I love it!"
"No way!" Relena exclaimed. Ooh, her Heero's butt was SO cute…
Hilde let out another woop of joy and fished in her pocket for a ten. "Duo! I love yooooou!! Whoo!"
"Stop that!" Relena pulled her back into her seat. Course, those girls in front seemed to have the same idea as Hilde.
Catherine was laughing her head off. She quickly pulled out a camera and started snapping. "Since we don't have any pictures of Trowa naked as a baby- these will have to do!"
"Make us copies!"
Wufei:
We don't need all these politicians
Telling us who we're gonna fight (gonna fight)
Cause paranoia ain't the way to live your life from day to day
So leave your doubts and your fears behind
Quatre:
Don't be afraid at all
Cause up in outer space there's no gravity to fall
Put your mind and your body to the test
Cuz up in outer space it's like the wild, wild west
The girl's jaws dropped again. The girls in front started screaming their heads off, much to the discomfort of the guys stuck up there with them. Had- had- had Quatre just made a suggestive movement?!?!
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
(rap)
Heero:
Boom! And never let you try to stop me
Born to fight sky high up to the top see
Nothing to fear, no doubts and no tears
Trowa:
Revolution sound to motivate the future years
And you can either be scared or prepared
Against all odds I bet you never would've dared
Duo:
To make these moves and take flight like me
To come through for the world, just like me
Space connect to overthrow your interception
Ready or not, make it hot
Wufei:
That ain't no question
Get your gun and put your eye to the fun
Quatre:
Keep the dream
One love from Q-kun
He winked at the screaming crowd. Heero was looking a little pissed. HE was the star around here…
The four in the back instantly changed their minds as to just which pilot was best. Ooh, Quatre… SEXY little Quatre…
(regular)
All:
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight, come and take a ride
Take a space ride, with a cowboy, baby
If you wanna fight
Come and take a ride
Take a space ride with a cowboy
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay
Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo
The sight of those nice, tight, exposed little asses on that last chorus sent the crowd up front into hysteria. They swarmed at the foot of the stage, reaching out for the pilots.
Hilde leapt over the seats to join them, waving her money, as more than a few other people seemed to be doing.
Sally was nearly in collapse. "I'm gonna bust Wufei for this SO much…"
Relena had found herself a new quandary. "Heero's got penetrating eyes… but Quatre's got those sweet blue ones that tell you everything… and he's got that angelic face and that golden hair… but Heero's hair is so wild and untamed… and Quatre's unattached while Heero's always pushing me away… hmm…" she wondered outloud.
"Don't even think about it!" Catherine told her, clutching the precious film to her chest. "Quatre's MINE now."
"I sure hope you got some great ass shots," Relena threatened.
Catherine grinned. "How many sets should I put you down for?"
On stage, the boys took their bows and quickly exited, not wanting to test the invisible ropes holding the crowd back. They'd had WAY too much experience with that.
As they left, Duo caught sight of a certain navy-haired figure joining the throng. "HILDE?!?! KUSO!" He beat his head against the wall as soon as they were offstage. "Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso- Kuso!"
"What's wrong, Duo?" Trowa asked.
"Hilde was out there!" he continued to bang his head. "Crap crap crap crap crap!"
Quatre still seemed a tad high on adrenaline and the thrill that he had gotten from the crowd.
Heero sustained a glare at him. HE was the cool one… it somehow turned into a pout.
Wufei looked rather full of himself.
"That was great!" Cliff came backstage to greet them. "Absolutely terrific! Did you see what you did to that crowd? Wow- baby- I don't think that's happened since Frank Sinatra! We're just gonna get you guys cleaned up and then I think we have some contracts to discuss."
They all looked from Cliff to each other. "Contracts?"
________________________________________
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I've seen those chaps before… Can't remember where, but they just seemed SO appropriate… In case my explanation sucked somehow- the chaps have big holes right over each butt cheek exposing that fine, fine flesh. *grin/drool*
OK. *Nsync is hereby semi-tolerable. Damn now I have this stuck in my head… Anyway, thanks Jennie-chan! *beams at J.C. underneath the table* All suggestions are welcome!
In case you noticed, I didn't have to doctor too much- the feel of the song's pretty appropriate, no? Hmmm… what am I forgetting? Oh yes! Disclaimers and Copyrights! Erm, I dislike *Nsync… and I love GW… but I don't own either. I don't pretend to. But seeing as it's *NSTYNC (oops, did that slip?) we'll say that we care cause they're rich with legions of screaming fangirls behind them and probably a dozen lawyers ready to kick my ass for threatening Justin Timberlake. (Or threatening to threaten him more like it… I never actually did… Damn plot…)
End note getting long SO-
Love it? Hate it? Think I should roast in hell for marring the so-called good name of *Nstync? (oops… DAMN my typing }:) Not.) Think that all is forgiven cuz I put the GW boys in leather vests and chaps that showed their beyond kawaii asses? GIVE ME FRIKKIN FEEDBACK!
-Lady *grin- starts thinking of pilots in chaps and vests and starts drooling…*