Hunter hadn't slept in days. Not since they arrived in the human realm, and everyone could tell. His eyes looked bruised, his bags became a deeper shade of purple. However, he couldn't sleep every time he did, all he saw was Belos dying; the other grimwalkers pulling him down into the depths of the Isles to die with them. These nightmares plagued him, whenever he slept but everyone insisted that he take a nap and he couldn't resist the temptation of sleep forever. His friends were forcing him to take a nap and although he didn't want to, he didn't complain much. He was actually hoping to ease the pain in his eyes, they burned from exhaustion. He laid down on the couch as his friends commanded. It wasn't as comfortable as his bed at the palace or the spare bed at Gus's but it was soft and he fit perfectly on it. He felt safe sleeping there, Flapjack chirped happily as he snuggled into the crook of his neck. Hunter closed his eyes, focusing on the warmth and softness of Flapjack's feather. His mind faded into the familiar embrace of sleep.
Hunter opened his eyes and looked around. He was on the edge of the forest, overlooking the boiling sea, as sunset approached. It was different from his usual dreams. This was quiet, serene, and peaceful, not like his previous nightmares. Where he was scared and screaming, hoping someone would save him. This unnerved him more than any of his nightmares ever could.
"You should really sleep more often. It's good for you… but I understand why you don't want to. The nightmares are unbearable."
Hunter sighed, annoyed. The voice was his own. He was apparently scolding himself for not sleeping. He turned to look at the source of the voice, to silence it and make it go away. When he looked over he saw a man, instead of himself. His annoyance fell, quickly being replaced with confusion. It was him but it wasn't him, this version of him was too old. This Hunter was taller than him by a foot, had longer hair, blue eyes, rounded ears, and the same forelock that hung in his eyes. He was dressed in a plain shirt and overalls. Horror overtook Hunter as he looked at this person, this version of him. No not him, his predecessor, the person Belos wanted him to be, wanted all of them to be. Hunter's legs turned to jelly; they couldn't support him anymore as he fell to the ground, his lungs squeezed in his chest, he was panicking. Hunter felt dread and fear mix into his panic as he looked at his predecessor. His predecessor looked back at him concerned. Clearly, he was worried for Hunter. Hunter backed away from him as best he could, terrified of him. His predecessor kneeled down and extended his hand out to him. Hunter looked at his hand, fearfully. Then he looked at his face, he was smiling at him, a gentle, warm smile, and his eyes were kind. Hunter had never been given such a look from anyone. Hunter felt his lungs constrict again as he looked at his predecessor again. His lips were moving, he was saying something but Hunter couldn't make out what it was. It felt like cotton was stuffed in his ears as they rang with the sound of his own heartbeat. Hunter watched as he lowered his hand and took a deep breath, in and out. It reminded him of the breathing technique Gus showed him so started to follow along. Hunter felt the panic dispelling, his nerves calming. He pulled his knees to his chest as he looked at his predecessor confused. His predecessor sat down on the cliffside and tapped the ground next to him. Hunter hesitated for a moment but came over and sat next to him. Hunter looked at him again, there was no malice or anger on his face. He looked happy to see Hunter. Hunter looked away as he swallowed down his bubbling fears.
"Uh… you're … my… uh.."
The words died on his tongue, dread washing over him. His predecessor smiled at him, something warm in his eyes. Hunter didn't recognize that look. His voice, so similar to his own.
"Yes, I'm Caleb Wittabane. I'm the person that Philip used to make you."
Hunter went pale as another wave of panic ran through him. Caleb chuckled weakly.
"Hunter, I'm not upset or anything. I've never been upset at you or any of the others."
Hunter swallowed trying to calm himself.
"Y-your not?"
His voice trembled. As the sound of his own heart thumped loudly in his chest. Caleb tilted his head, smiling sweetly.
"I could never be mad at you. Everything that happened to you wasn't your fault. I know it was Philips's fault…. Right, he was Belos to you, not Philip."
"Uh, why are you here?"
Hunter questioned him, it felt like needles were pricking his insides as he looked at Caleb. Caleb blinked at him, surprised for a moment. A smile returned to his lips as he answered. His tone was sweet.
"I wanted to meet you."
"Huh?"
The sound escaped his lips before he could even think. Hunter didn't understand, his answer was too simple. He replayed the words over again in his mind. Hunter held his head, it felt like it was overheating as the words replayed again. He started to ramble.
"Meet me? Why? This is a dream so you're not real? This is just my mind playing a trick on me, right?... But if that's true, why do you look so normal? I don't know what you look like so you shouldn't look so normal. I don't understand. Why would anyone want to see me? I'm not that important or special. I don't get it, this has to be a joke! A sick, cruel joke."
Caleb frowned at Hunter for a moment before laughing. Hunter stopped his line of questions as he looked at Caleb bewildered. The sound of laughter was foreign to him, at least the sound of his own laughter was foreign to him. Caleb's laughter died down as he gazed at Hunter. He sighed, happily.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath collecting his thoughts.
"Hunter, the Isles are wonderful and can do amazing things. Even in death, I'm still amazed by the magic that the Isles have."
Hunter cocked his head to the side, confused, asking.
"So, you're not part of my mind? You're actually here? Like a…ghost? Spirit? Apparition?"
Caleb smiled and nodded at Hunter. Hunter's lip quivered, his brow knitted into confusion. He looked away from Caleb, watching his hands shake.
"But, I'm not in the demon realm. I'm in the human realm. So, how can you, a ghost, of someone Belos killed in the demon realm be here? That doesn't make sense."
Caleb shrugged as he chuckled weakly at him.
"Well, you were made with my bones."
Hunter looked at him wide-eyed, fear and surprise mixing together on his face. Silently asking how he knew that. Caleb continued, his voice taking on a softer tone.
"Which means that my spirit is attached to you. Although I can't really talk to you when you're awake and I can't really do much else. When you're awake all I can do is watch and follow you around if I want to. It's been like that for decades actually. I'm always attached to… them… must be a side effect of making a grimwalker. But that's okay because when you're asleep I can talk to you."
Hunter was about to ask why he never talked to him before, however, Caleb silenced him with just a look. Hunter felt something warm in his chest starting to rise.
"I never talked to you before because Philip was always close by. I didn't want him…I didn't want any of you to know I was with you because if he knew he might have done something to you. Something horrible, like kill your spirit and put me in your body against my will. You know, evil magic stuff. But he's no longer here. So, I thought it was time I finally met you, after all, we're family."
Hunter grabbed his knees tightly. He felt the fabric pull into his hands. That warmth in his chest spread throughout him, his cheeks growing warmer. Caleb watched as Hunter's face grew red, spreading to his ear tips. Caleb chuckled at him.
"Your ears turn red when you blush, you know. And I find that simply adorable, mine certainly don't do that."
Hunter looked at him, slightly annoyed. He felt his face get hotter as Caleb looked at him smiling. Hunter stammered.
"T-t-they do not! And we aren't family!"
Caleb tilted his head, frowning.
"Why would you say that?"
The color fell from Hunter's face as a frown replaced the bashful smile he allowed himself to make. He looked at his knees again, unable to look at Caleb any longer. He blinked, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. His chest ached.
"I'm just a copy of you. I'm not even a real witch or a human. I'm nothing but a clone and even that I can't do right. I'm not you or maybe I am you. I don't know what I am. I'm not even my own person and I never will be…. Besides a copy can't be family to the original because I'm just some imperfect thing made from pailstrom wood, skelidomius scales, and a galdorstone."
Hunter sounded defeated as he closed his eyes, allowing his tears to fall. His stone heart ached, as dread filled him again. Caleb looked at him, his long-dead heart ached for him. Caleb moved closer and placed a hand on Hunter's shoulder. Hunter flinched and looked at him sniffling, wiping the tears away. Caleb gave him a sympathetic smile.
"You are real and you're not me. You never will be me. The only thing we have in common is our appearance and a love for magic. Besides that, we're nothing alike. You're perfect the way you are. And I think the person you are is amazing."
Hunter pulled his knees up to his face and frowned, looking away from Caleb.
"You're lying… just like Belos."
Caleb gasped letting go of his shoulder. He gazed at Hunter, bewildered. He knew that Philip had done awful things to him but he didn't know that the scars from it ran so deep. Caleb took a deep breath unsure of what to do next. He didn't think that Hunter would react this way. He had hoped for a happy meeting but Philip's abuse had ruined that. Hunter clearly didn't want to meet him and clearly believed he too was a liar. Caleb looked at his hands, twiddling his thumbs, tiring to find the words to ease him. Find the words that would help them understand each other but couldn't find them. They sat in silence.
"Why did you say that?"
Hunter broke the silence between them. Caleb looked at him, unsure of what he meant. Hunter's eyes moved and looked at Caleb for a moment before returning to his knees. He asked again, clarifying his question.
"Why did you say we're family? I know it's a lie but…"
Caleb smiled weakly answering in a sweet tone.
"It's not a lie we are family."
"No, we aren't. I don't know you and I'm just a copy of you. Belos…. Philip was the only family I had and even that was a lie. I don't have anyone."
Caleb felt his heart twist. He could see how broken Hunter was, how upset he was becoming over this. Caleb winced, hoping what he said would comfort Hunter.
"That's not true, Hunter. I'm your family, your not-"
"Yes, it is!"
Hunter snapped back, cutting him off. He was sobbing, finally allowing himself to mourn, to feel his grief. Hunter hated this feeling, the feeling of being weak, of showing someone, anyone how broken he was. He hated that his predecessor was the one who had to see it. His heart twisted as his tears spilled, unable to keep it bottled up any longer. His face was a mixture of anger, grief, and sorrow.
"I'm a grimwalker! I was made with your bones! Belos, Philip whatever you want to call him killed you and remade you, me, us for years! I have no one! Even with your bones, I'm not a person. I'm a tooI and I never asked to be made…. I have no family! Belos made that clear! So why?"
Hunter's voice broke.
"Why are you being nice to me? How come you're not lying? Why do you have to be here? Why are you telling me we're family when you're already dead? Why couldn't you just leave me alone like everyone else? I don't deser-"
Caleb knew it was stupid but he couldn't help it. Hunter was hurting and needed comfort. He had hugged him, tears falling from his eyes into Hunter's hair. Hunter stopped and froze, his breathing hitched as he felt Caleb embrace him. He felt something falling into his hair, as he sat there in Caleb's embrace. It was warm, warmer than when Gus and Willow had hugged him at Hexside. A part of him wanted to pull away but he couldn't, something about it was comforting. Caleb started to wipe away Hunter's tears. Caleb sighed softly, whispering.
"I'm sorry."
Hunter gasped, his eyes darting back and forth tiring to figure out why Caleb would apologize to him. Caleb continued.
"I'm sorry Philip made you think you're worthless. Made you feel like you didn't matter. That he hurt you for years…. But you do matter and people care about you. Willow, Gus, Luz, Darius, they all care about you. I care about you, and I cared about all the others too. I always considered every single one of you family. That you're all my children no matter how you were born. Besides, I can't bring myself to hate any of you…. You're right, you never asked to be born but yet you're here and I love you. I love how different you are from me and all of your brothers. I love your enthusiasm to learn, your tooth gap, and how stubborn you are. I love your chipped ear and the fact that you like bitter food. That you get up early on your one day off just to watch the sunrise. That you like whistling while you work and talking to yourself to solve your problems. That you want to sew, play sports and go to school… I love everything about you, Hunter. Because you're my child, my son and I'm sorry. Sorry, I couldn't tell you or protect you…. You're right, I am dead after all…. But please, please don't compare yourself to me, ever. You're not just a copy or a galdorstone or skelidomius scales. You are flesh and blood and you're alive… they all were."
Caleb couldn't continue, his throat burned as he held Hunter. Years of words and emotions had bubbled up. Caleb couldn't hold back his tears anymore as he sobbed into Hunter's hair. The other grimwalker's deaths came to mind. As he watched them bleed out and die, as they decayed without ever knowing how much he loved them. Hunter leaned into the hug, trying to find any kind of deceit in his words. But he couldn't because they were warm, really warm; they didn't hold a false warmth like Belos's had. They sat like that for a while before Hunter asked.
"Is it really okay that I'm a grimwalker? That I was made from a dead person. Won't everyone hate me?"
Caleb tightened his grip on him.
"No one will hate you. I certainly don't and you were made with my bones. Besides they don't know me, they know you, Hunter. It doesn't matter to Luz and it won't matter to your other friends either. They already like you for you."
That warm feeling crept back into his chest. Hunter decided to return the hug, he wrapped his arms around Caleb. He buried his face in his chest and cried again. Caleb rubbed his back in a soothing manner, hoping to calm him down. Hunter allowed himself to cry until a question he had been asking himself for days crept forward. Freezing the warmth he felt in his chest, the question tumbled out of his mouth.
"Is it wrong that I miss him?"
Caleb had started to stroke Hunter's hair in a comforting manner. Something about it soothed him as he thought of an answer to Hunter's question. Caleb closed his eyes.
"Is it wrong that I miss him too?"
Hunter shifted slightly in his grasp, letting go of him. He looked up at Caleb. Caleb had a sad look in his eye as a melancholic smile crossed his lips. Caleb sighed as he let go of Hunter.
"You know I talked to him before coming to you."
Hunter gasped, surprised. Caleb wiped his eyes.
"Yeah, I know. Why would I do that but I couldn't help it. He is my little brother after all. And I know everything he did was because he thought it was for the safety of our home, his home but it was all wrong. He did things that hurt people, no matter what his reason was he hurt them…"
Caleb looked at Hunter, quickly working out what to say next. His tone was soft, somehow careful as he spoke.
"You know he told me he cared for you, in his own weird, twisted way. That he was sorry that he hurt you."
Caleb watched Hunter's reaction carefully. Hunter gasped, his breathing seemling hitched. He shook his head in disbelief, as he grabbed his chest, the fabric of his shirt pulled tightly into his hand. He squeezed his eyes shut. He started taking quick, short breaths. Caleb wrapped his arm around him, Hunter leaned into him. Caleb saw his breathing shift back to a normal rhythm. Tears pricked at Hunter's eyes again as his throat burned. One word made it past the thorny forest that had overtaken his throat.
"Why?"
Caleb sighed. He didn't have an answer to that question. It was one that only Philip could answer. A question that Hunter would never get an answer to.
"I don't know, Hunter. Maybe it's because you looked like me or maybe it's because he genuinely loved you. It's something I can't answer because I don't understand him anymore."
Hunter opened his eyes and sighed, he felt exhausted. Caleb smiled at him again.
"I'll never forgive him for what he did to you or the others but it is okay to miss him. Unlike him, you cared about him and loved him. I loved him too, so missing him is a natural thing to feel even if he was awful to you."
Hunter nodded his head. They let silence fall over them again as the sun finally set. The black and purples took over the red sky above. Hunter asked, his voice shaky.
"Can you…. Will you come back sometime? I um…"
He was nervous to ask him. It didn't feel right to ask it of Caleb but he wanted to.
"I really liked having someone to talk to who… understands… what.. I uh.."
Caleb chuckled at him, grabbing him into another hug.
"Sure thing kiddo…. You know even when you wake up I'll still be around, you just won't be able to see me."
"That's kind of… creepy."
Hunter laughed weakly. Caleb laughed at him.
"Yeah, I guess so but I'm stuck to you and I don't hang around that often. I can go places in the physical world without you… just not very far. And besides, you have Flapjack he'll keep you safe."
Hunter nodded his head. He asked suddenly.
"Did you make Flapjack?"
Caleb looked at Hunter, he looked worried. Caleb smiled brightly at him.
"I did crave him. I'm glad he found a new witch after so long. And don't worry he didn't pick you 'cause you look like me. He likes you for you, I can tell."
Hunter blushed, quickly turning away from him.
"D-don't say it that way!"
Caleb laughed at him.
Hunter woke up finally feeling rested, the burning feeling in his eyes was mostly gone.
"Are you okay?"
He looked over to the voice and stared at Luz. She looked worried, Flapjack was sitting on her shoulder. The little bird flew over to him and started rubbing his face. Hunter looked around scanning for the others but he only saw Luz. He ignored the affection from Flapjack as he answered her.
"I'm fine. Why are you asking?"
Luz bit her lip and looked around for a moment, obviously looking for the others as well.
"Well you were… uh… mumbling in your sleep and then you started to cry. You sounded upset but I didn't want to wake you."
"Wha?"
He genuinely questioned what she said, as he touched his cheek feeling the dried tears on them. He pulled his hand away, dread washed over him as he asked.
"Did the others see?"
Luz shook her head.
"No, my mom took them out a while ago. They came back after you stopped. I stayed behind since you needed the rest and mami didn't want you here alone."
He sighed, asking.
"How long did you let me sleep for?"
Luz looked at the clock on the wall.
"It's been about six hours."
Hunter looked bewildered, he hadn't slept like that in a long time. Luz asked cautiously.
"Was it a nightmare about Belos?"
Hunter looked at her, his bewilderment was replaced with a smile. He looked at Flapjack and patted the little bird.
"No, it wasn't a nightmare. I can't really remember but it was… warm, nice."
Luz looked at him puzzled.
"It was nice?... But you were crying."
Hunter shrugged at her.
"I just know it was nice."
Luz wanted to ask and have him explain what he meant but couldn't bring herself to do so. She noticed how happy he looked, a part of him was at peace it seemed. She figured it wouldn't last and didn't wanna ruin that for him. Besides his eye bags were lighter in color and looked exactly how they looked when she first met him. It wasn't much of a win but it was something that he deserved after everything that happened to them. Luz smirked at him.
"Alright, if you say so. You know it's almost dinner time."
Hunter looked to Luz asking.
"Really?"
Excitement laced his voice. He coughed trying to mask his excitement.
"Really, what is your mother making?"
Luz snorted at him as she headed towards the kitchen.
"You'll see. I know you'll love it. But first, wash your face so the others don't see the tear tracks on it."
Hunter rolled his eyes at her.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Luz."
