So... it has been a really long time since I last upload a chapter for this fic. For a moment I thought I wouldn't continue, life has changed a lot for me and I was not having the inspiration to continue. I guess I had a major writer's block... But I finally decided to resume where I left it and I apologized for the delay. I'll try to keep the updates coming more often from now on.

I hope you have not forgotten me or this story and that you give it a chance again. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 23

Training with Kaede had been exhausting… even more than she remembered her formal training to be. The past couple of days had gone by in a blur between training and school for her. So much that she hadn't had almost any time to think about what had happened with Inuyasha. Kaede wanted to make sure she remembered everything from the basis, and even had her performing small purification rituals at the end of the day. Her seals and barriers had to be executed to perfection and she almost didn't feel her arms for all the arrows she had made her fire.

Today Kaede had made her skip her classes again because she wanted her to practice more of her seals. It seemed as though she would not be seeing much of her friends during the next couple of weeks. Kaede was so serious about this training that had talked with her school and arranged for her to receive her lessons at home. The school of course had agreed to it. Inuyasha on the other hand didn't like it so much…even though he was yet to come near her after what happened that Saturday he was constantly texting and calling to know where she was. And every now and then she could swear that he was rounding her house grounds without coming in. Sango had even told her that he hadn't gone to school that morning and that had had her distracted the rest of the day, so much that Kaede had reprimanded her for not taking things seriously. She had accepted the reprimand in silence and did her best to concentrate on her task but it had been useless, her mind was wandering far from her place in the real world, wondering where could he be at the moment… today was the third day, and she could feel less and less of his youki in her by then, the mark was disappearing, just as he had hoped, just as she had feared… and he had stayed true to his word and had stayed far from her. Part of her was relieved in a way, after tonight they could go back to normal again, he would be free to be in her presence without feeling guilty for putting her life in danger, but the other part of her, and it was the biggest part of her, was disappointed, she had been wishing he failed, and came for her again, she didn't want this opportunity to slip right through her fingers just like that, just because he was afraid. But it was no used now, if he managed to stay away from her tonight that was it. She let out an exasperated sigh and heard the cracking sound of the jar she was supposed to be putting a sealing spell on. "Great! There goes another perfect jar to waste…" she mumbled and hoped to be able to clean it and replace it before Kaede came to check on her and reprimanded her again.

As it was to be expected she never got to clean her mess before Kaede came in, and ended up with more work than she already had. Now here she lay in bed trying to get some so much needed sleep to get ready for her next tortuous day, but it was proving useless, her mind seemed to be working overtime and didn't allow her the enough peace to fell sleep… she huffed and stirred in her bed until she ended up tossing her sheets and decided to just give up sleep. She sat on her bed in the dark, and decided to try those breathing exercises Kaede had shown her in order to clear her mind and meditate. It was almost midnight now, in a matter of hours the deadline for her intended mark to disappear was approaching, and he was nowhere to be seen.

She took a deep breath trying to calm herself… she didn't know if she was sad of relieved or simply angry at him for that… she wasn't gonna tell anybody but she had been hoping… hoping that she wished for this to happen with enough force then he would accept it, after all, the way she saw it they shared a bound now, even though he had been so adamant in denying it existed, she could feel it, it was a bound that had him tied to her in ways that they were never before and that made her feel… powerful, having so much influence over him in some way or another. Her mind drifted back to the events of that night where he had gotten to her just in time to save her from the thieves. He was supposed to be avoiding her and yet he had been following her the whole time. Despite of all the other not so pleasant things that they were yet to address, meaning his intent on following her to death, she had felt thankful for this new bound that prevented him from being apart from her, having the knowledge that he was there for her to reach even when she was not aware of his presence gave her a sense of peace, even then, facing the danger she knew in some level that she would be safe.

Kagome had not been a bit afraid of the humans, to be honest, it was not as she had faced a situation like that before, but she had had to face some minor, trouble maker youkais during her training and those had scared her more that those three humans that seemed more confused in their actions than those past youkais that were hell bent on killing her and her group. She had feared for Rin, though, she didn't look as scared as she would have imagined her to be but she felt somehow responsible for her, Rin was like her little sister, the one her mother couldn't give her. Rin had been around most of her life. Her mother was Izayoi's great, great, great... great-niece so that made her kind of a cousin to Inuyasha, in other words, she was family. So under any circumstances would Kagome let something happened to her if it was in her power to prevent it. And that thinking had been the one that had pushed her to put herself in front of Rin to protect her from the erratic man threatening them with a knife.

She knew it had been a stupid idea, trying to fight them I mean, because that was what she had been thinking on doing when Inuyasha had gotten to them. She understood why he had been so angry, she had put herself in dangers way and he didn't like it, but did he have to be so rude? He had growled at her! And the weirdest thing was that she had understood the meaning of that growl and she had frigging obeyed him! She shut her mouth and cowered a little fearing that he would reprimand her again! she had been grateful when he let go of the man, but she had suspected he had only done it for her sake and she could swear that he had given him chase right after he left her home, she just hoped that he talked to his father before that, Toga would never allow him to kill a human. Kagome didn't want him to do that, people was never the same after their spill someone else's blood, it always took a bit of yourself when you do, she could feel it on herself even though the beings she had killed where minor youkais, the kind that where more like animals and were not really able to reason… she tried to avoid using her powers to kill other creatures as low as they were because of that. That had been also the main reason why she didn't want to practice too…

Rolling on her bed again, ready to force her eyelids to stay closed, as much as they hurt for the effort, she pictured him again. He really looked feral when he transformed, his aura so much heavier than normal, so much warm… was it normal that she liked it so much? She could not get used to the ruby and blue eyes, she loved his golden eyes the most, but she could get used to his purple marks… she hadn't noted it before that night, how his whole body changed when he was his youkai self, he was normally tall and with a well-defined body, not too muscular just what was right and necessary, that on itself made him look older than he really was, that had been a shock for her when she came back from her trip, all the boyish traces were gone from his face and body thanks to his transition and instead of her eighteen year old friend she found what it look like young man in his mid-20's, she looked like a little girl besides him, and not only because she was so short that she barely reached his shoulder… he in his normal self looked good, he in his youkai self looked even better, he looked so… feral… something out of this world, everything about him got amplified when he transformed, all in him screamed raw power and danger, and she loved it, mainly because she knew she was the only one that could get closer to him and get away with it, as she said before, it made her feel powerful... she shudder remembering how those arms had felt against her body every time he hugged her, the same hand that had almost crushed that man's neck could be so soft and gentle while holding her close to his warm chest… she stopped there… what the hell was she thinking? "Oh, gosh, I'm such a pervert…!" she mumbled against her pillow.

She changed her mind's course to a less… provocative path. But the only other options were things that she really didn't want to think about, for instance there was their discussion, which never failed to bring her guiltiness and anger and sadness up to the surface, and the fact that in an hour or so the intended mark would be gone for good... She sighed and tried to relax and free her mind from all thought. She needed to sleep something otherwise she wouldn't hear the end of it from Kaede the next morning.

Besides if she let her mind wonder on those things she surely would end up crying and she was not going to cry about it again. She had decided earlier that she wouldn't, Ayame had been right, she shouldn't be beating herself over something that may not ever happen. Kagome didn't like the way she had expressed her thoughts, but she had been right. Against all of Kagome's wishes her friends had discovered all about her and Inuyasha's argument regarding his decision to not live more than necessary. All because she hadn't been able to control her guilt after telling Inuyasha she hated him over the phone, resulting on Sango finding her in the middle of a crying fit by the time she had stopped by her house to pick her up, and Sango being Sango hadn't let things go until she explained what had her in that stated, which leaded to the latter conversation with their other friends at the pizzeria as well. In the end everyone knew what she and Inuyasha had fought about and decided to give their inputs on the situation.

Rin had seemed surprised to hear, Ayame had only averted her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "You don't have to feel guilty about this, Kagome." Ayame had told her in her authoritative tone of voice "I understand how you feel, but I also get why he thinks that way. It is difficult to do, but we must respect his reasoning." She added and Kagome felt mad at her for suggesting she accepted his decision. How could she? "Listen, I am not saying that you should happily accept it, just don't fight it, he is just talking out of his fear of losing you, which may not ever happen. So I think is useless for you to feel worried about something that may never happen." She defended her opinion before Kagome could say something. "What you should be worrying about now, is how you would make his lose his fear regarding that other matter." She had concluded.

Ayame was on her side regarding that, and she was thankful for having at least one person thinking the same way. The wolf youkai female had been struck when she discover that they were not really mated, to her eyes and nose they were no different from the real thing, and she didn't see the point on Inuyasha denying it or saying that there was no way for him to know for sure that she was the one. She thought, just as Kagome did, that he was letting his fear cloud his judgment. "It may seem too basic for you, but our instincts play a big part in every decision we made, they are never wrong, Inuyasha. You should learn to trust them. Your life would be a lot easier if you do." She had told him once their group had cornered him to explain things after the first hearing with the board that week. Of course Inuyasha hadn't liked this and now they were giving each other the silence treatment.

She had been able to get over it after that, just a tiny bit over it. Ayame had given her hope again. it was true, if she and Inuyasha were to become mates then she would live for as long as he did and so he wouldn't have to be worried about ending his own life once she die. With that she had decided not to cry anymore and had gotten on better spirits after that, even being able to enjoy the night.

Still, her decision about not crying over it didn't made things easier, she was still a mess of emotions on the inside and she didn't like it because she knew he could feel it too. She desperately wanted to find a way to shut her brain off, or at least turn off her emotions so that they both had a rest of all this and continue with their lives, at least until… until they were no longer connected this way and she could get her feelings back to herself and suffer in private without disturbing him. Eventually sleep came to claim her and she willfully let herself go for now.

This couldn't be good… he had somehow managed to stay away from her for the past two and a half days, not without difficulty, but he had managed, he hadn't slept at all during those days either but if he could survive this night it would be done, Kagome would be safe again, and that thought was the only thing keeping him still locked in his room, despite the ache and fever that was consuming him whole. Inuyasha felt like he was losing his mind, could feel the ache in every muscle of his body for the force he had been using to stay where he was even though all he wanted to do was running to her. Then there was the agonizing feeling that he was losing something very important, and that he was neglecting his mate by letting the time go by without redoing his claim. It was a voice inside his head that had been whispering the past day or so saying how bad he was for letting her alone and unprotected for so long. It was eating him alive.

He lifted his arm to his mouth and bit himself until he felt his own blood pouring down his throat when he started to feel the tale tales of his transformation. He had lost count on how many times he had had to bite his own arm to stop himself from turning into full youkai, it was something that he had discover along the way on his battle to see this through, self-inflicted pain caused his mind to wake up from the stupor of his own transformation. But this time it didn't seem to be working as well as the others. He let go of his arms and started hitting the back of his head against the wall, a feral growl coming off his mouth, his now elongated claws piercing the blankets along with the matters where he was crunched in the darkness on his room. "fuck…it hurts…" he let out between pants…. He could hear the whispers of his parents on the other side of the door, his mother asking his father to do something to relive his pain, and the tired voice of his father saying that there was nothing he could do to help… he hated being the cause of his mother's distress but there was nothing to be done, they couldn't help him and he know he had to go through this in order to achieve his goal.

The unexpected noise of the door opening offered him a mild distraction of the pain that was consuming his body, he didn't know if he was relived or pissed to see his father coming in. in his current state of mind he could barely reason with himself that he was no threat to him, only the familiar scent that signaled him as the leader of his pack keeping him from launched himself at him with bared fangs.

His father couldn't hide the conflicted emotions showing on his face at the sight of him, he clicked his tonged and pinched the bridge of his nose "I came in because your mother is worried about you…" he informed, "I told her that there is nothing I can do to help you through this, but she insisted…" Inuyasha didn't open his mouth, at this point he feared that the only thing that was gonna come out would be unintelligible growls. "You know you don't have to suffer like this…" to that he let out a growl, he didn't want to hear that again… Toga sighed defeated and rose his hands "ok, I get it… but this is worse than what I expected… you look like crap, son…" He added "I can call Jinenji, maybe he has something to relive the fever or something…"

"Save it" he panted "I'll be alright in the morning…just a few hours and this will be over." He said trying to sound sure…

"Okay… I can stay with you, if you want, you don't have to go through this alone."

"No. go to mom. I'll be fine. I can do this" he said with more conviction this time. Trying to convince himself more than his father. Toga seemed to get the point and nodded and walked out the room closing the door behind him again.

The truth was that Inuyasha was not sure to be able to make it. Each passing minute the pain was getting worse, and it seemed as though he would die at any minute, the relief to his pain only a five minute run away… his fever was getting worse, his mind was getting more and more clouded, why was he doing this again? why was so much pain worth the effort? He could end this pain, he could end it now! He only had to go to her, go to Kagome…. Kagome… her name fall from his lips like a sweet caress, Kagome… he was doing this for her… he could live this pain for her… it was worth it if it meant that she would get to live…. He braced himself for the next spasm that he could feel coming. How much more of those would he had to take? Another agonizing growl left him… and cleaned with the sleeve of his shirt the blood that poured from his mouth "shit! I bit my tongue again" he growled spiting the blood and cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand.

He was so very tired… and there were still a few hours left until midnight… at least that last spasm had let him drained enough that his blood had stopped from trying to get over, it seemed that even his body had a limit to the pain he could get… his eyelids felt so heavy too, and he fought to keep them up, knowing that the moment he allowed them to close sleep would take him, and sleep was something he could not allow himself, at least not tonight…

He was in a semi awake state when he heard it… lately he had been hearing her calling his name in his mind, it was so vivid that he was almost sure that it was not his imagination, it often happened at night when it was most likely that she was sleeping. He liked to thinK that it was because she was dreaming about him, and called for him in her sleep, it was especially hard not to respond to that call, but he had resisted it well enough, tonight didn't have to be any different. He allowed himself to be lulled by her voice, and in his trance didn't realize he had closed his eyes. He knew he had fallen asleep when he found himself on a clearing, too sunny and too green to be real, he was completely sure it was a dream when he saw her, laying on the grass eyes closed enjoying the warmth of the sun on her skin. She didn't opened her eyes but a knowing smile appeared on her face when she heard the soft sound of his footstep as he inched closer to where she was laying.

"I wondered when you would come…" she said "you had me waiting long enough." She opened her eyes to see him when he didn't say a thing and immediately got to a sitting position an alarmed expression on her face. "Inuyasha, what… what happened to you?" she said and rose to her feet rushing to his side when he stopped on his tracks "what's this?" she asked again taking his arm between her soft petit hands to inspect the various cut his fangs had made on his arms, most of them where already healed, the dried patch of blood the only proofs that the skin had been pierced, others were pink, tender scaring tissue still forming in other places. "Inuyasha" she pressed when he didn't say anything again.

"It's nothing" he finally answered "I did it to myself, I had to do something or I would have transformed…" he tried to rest it importance and tried to free his arm from her hand. But she was having none of it and pull it with both hands inspecting the marks more intently

"why?" she mumble at the time she rubbed her thumb over one of the cuts

"I told you, I had to stop the transformation…"

"why did you have to hurt yourself so much in order to stop it?" she interrupted him "do you hate the idea of me becoming your mate that much?" she lifted her face to see him, tears dorming in her eyes.

"hey, no, don't cry!" he told her cupping her head and cleaning her face of her tears "you know it's nothing like that"

"you are lying!" she screamed pushing him away from her "you hate me, I know it, you hate me so much that you rather cut your arms that making me your mate!"

"What? No, it's not that… I don't hate you…Kagome, wait!" he said reaching for her arm when she turned running away from him. "Wait, Kagome"

"If you didn't hate me you wouldn't have left me alone all this time" she said suddenly stopping and turning to see him

"Kagome, I don't hate you, I love you, and you know that" he tried reasoning with her

"Then why don't you take me as your mate?" she demanded

"You know the reason, I can't" he said defeated.

"No, you don't want to, you can but you won't because you hate me…" she accused him, tears rolling down her face

"Stop this, Kagome. Do you hear yourself? Can't you see how ridiculous this is?" he pleaded walking in long strides the distance between them reaching for her hand

"You're right, Inuyasha. I'm sorry. Talking about this is pointless, you already made your mind. You don't want me…" she murmured and the sound of it broke his heart even more.

"Kagome…" he didn't get to finish his sentence, cause of all a sudden she was standing on the edge of a cliff, she sent a glance his way, tears falling freely from her eyes before taking a step back and letting herself fall.

Inuyasha woke up with a scream of her name caught up in his through, his face and body damped with his transpiration, he could feel his heart beating so fast it was hard to breath. His mind was a mess, there wasn't space for any thoughts, no other than the terrifying image of her falling of that cliff because she thought he hated her, because he had left her alone all this time. It was his fault; he had made her do that! He had neglected her well enough, he needed to make sure she was all right, and he needed her to know what she meant for him, but most importantly he needed to make sure that she was safe.

In a matter of seconds, he was out and away of that room where he had kept himself captive for the past 24 hours, he had to admit that feeling the cold air against his feverish skin was nice. The moon was half way up the sky, a couple of weeks more and it would be right where he needed it to be. He smirked despite himself and the pain he still felt in his bones, things were moving slowly but he could wait, he would wait, everything would be perfect just as her. He would make sure to make it up to her for leaving her alone all this time. He would make it up to both of them.

The moment he entered her room thoughts of going slow and waiting flew out of his mind, the moment he breathed her scent his blood caught on fire again, but a different more pleasant kind… the pain in his muscles start to go away just by being in her presence, his mouth started to salivate, he knew what he had to do.

The first thing he noticed when he entered her room was that there was not a trace of his scent in the room or her for that matter, he could barely felt her inside him and that had been the main reason of his agitation once he woke up of that nightmare, his connection to her was almost nonexistent now, and that had him crawling in his skin, that only meant that she was dying or that he had neglected her long enough for his mark to disappear.

Something in the back of his mind screamed at him that it was the last option, was screaming at him that he had wanted to make the mark disappear, but he shut it up, it was impossible that he would willingly give up his right over her. She was his and no force in this planet would make him forget that. So the only thing he could do was go to her side, where he belonged, and make sure his mark was still in place and that she was not in dying.

She was sleeping, though she was not having a restful dream, she was rolling from one side to the other on her bed, and mumbling things in her sleep, her aura was as disturbed as his was and she looked just as drained as he felt. He growled when it was obvious that the reason for the lack of her scent on her was because his mark was about to disappear, which meant that he had been far from her for a very long time, but why? He couldn't remember the exact reason why he was keeping himself away from her, another growl left him, what could have been more important than his mate? it felt like a kick in his stomach to see what he had done to her by keeping himself away for so long. He felt equal parts of embarrassment and anger towards himself for neglecting his mate for so long. But he would correct that in that moment. He climbed up the bed and hover over her sleeping form, purring her name in her ear calling her to come back to him in the waking world, he felt her tensed up for a moment when she found herself caged between his body and the bed and then relax once she took notice that it was him.

"Inuyasha?" she asked a bit of uncertainty in her voice "what…what are you doing here?" he did not answer her question instead he started making the purring sound he knew she liked, all the while he traced kissed and little nips on her jaw and neck, he felt her push him on the chest at the same time she asked him to stop what he was doing and look at her, he growled this time to tell her to stop but she did not listen "Inuyasha I need you to look at me now!" she demanded instead "you are not yourself right now, you don't want this, remember?" she insisted, what was she saying? He didn't get it and actually he didn't care, he was himself and he was on a mission at the moment, a mission to recover his mate.

He had planned to do it slow, make her get a bit of pleasure out of all of this instead of just biting at her neck to redo the mark but she was making it impossible for him with all the pushing and struggling she was doing to get out of his embrace. He stopped his kisses at her neck and with a huff he lifted his face to gaze her in the eye, despite of the darkness of the room he was perfectly able to see her face, her eyes dilated and her heartbeat increased when she got to see his face, and a mix of fear and excitement rose from her, it confused him, why would she be scare? Having his connection to her so weakened made it hard for him to be able to read what she was really feeling and decipher her reaction, that irritated him because that meant he would have to ask, and he wasn't in the mood to talk right now, but his mate comfort came first to him, even before redoing his mark that was right on the brink of disappearing completely from her body

"what are you scared of?" he asked her, he watched her gulped and then shake her head in denial

"I am not scared… I am just…Inuyasha why are you here?" she asked instead trying to divert his attention from her current emotions

"are you scare of me?" he pressed

"No!" she hurried to answer "I said I am not scare, it just that you are not yourself at the moment…" he looked at her not getting the meaning of her words

"what you mean? I am myself" he added and watched her bit at her bottom lip looking worried and as if she was having an internal struggled "what is it?" he asked this time barely containing the irritated growl

"Inuyasha, you have to get off me now" she finally said pushing him again "you don't want this, remember? I don't want you to feel all guilty and sorry when you come back to your senses for doing this again" this time he did growl at her and she cowered a little, despite being almost completely disconnected she got the meaning of his growl, he immediately regretted growling at her and a whimper left him, she gulped again but other than that she didn't do or say more, he nuzzled her throat and lick at his disappearing mark, almost instinctively she move her head to the side to give him more access, he smile internally, he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her, without more delay he sank his fangs on her skin again, a bit of her blood got to his mouth and he drank it happily, it had been just in time, one second more and the mark would have disappear completely, and then he would had to start everything over again.

She tensed a little when he bit her but his soothing words inside her head make her relaxed again, though, a chant of "this is wrong" plagued her mind, the moment he started licking and kissing her neck it had all disappeared. Once he sank his fangs on her again she decided she didn't care anymore she would enjoy the moment, she would enjoy him as much as he allowed her with his presence and attention. She hadn't realized how much she had missed the feeling of him biting on her neck until that moment and she was surprised to notice that she didn't care how dirty and slutty that thought made her appeared. She felt whole again, the surge of his missing youki inside her warming her up, the longer he stayed with his mouth pressed against her neck the hotter she got, she didn't realize the moment she had crossed her legs around his waist and her arms around his torso, hand gripping tightly the shirt on his back until he tried to move and she didn't let him. she felt him smirk against her neck and then let go of her and start licking the wound to make it heal.

"I see you missed me" he joked

"you don't have an idea how much" she said and without warning took him by the hair and pull him closer to get a so much needed kiss that he willingly responded to.

She could feel her blood boiling with pleasure and her mind going blank until there was no other thought but the feeling of him on top of her and his mouth moving against her heated skin. She needed more, she wanted more but she didn't know exactly what it was until he managed to free himself from her embrace and pull off the shirt he was wearing and used his claws to rip open her pajama tops, with a growl of satisfaction he laid onto her once more and she shuddered at the contact of bare skin against bare skin.

"I missed you" she murmured when he rested his forehead against hers and then reached to touch his face, those now red and blue eyes boring into her very soul transmitting all the love and adoration he was feeling at the moment, she could feel tears forming in her eyes, they were a sort of guilty tears, she knew this was not what he wanted, this was surely going to bite her in the ass morning come or even before once he turned back to himself, she knew this would torment him but she couldn't make herself stop him from doing it because this was all what she wanted.

It would have been easy, really easy to push him away and restraining him using just a tiny bit of her powers, that would have snapped him back to normal and end all this the moment he entered her room and trapped her in his arms, but she didn't and she knew she would also regret that decision in the morning, "latter" she said to herself pushing back all the guilty thoughts "I'll worry about it later. For now, let me enjoy this moment, this moment where even with those red eyes he can see me with the same love and need that I feel for him, without guilt or duty troubling him." She bit her bottom lip and moved her hands from his chest to fist his hair at the back of his head and pulled him down to reach his mouth, he growled and kissed her proving with his tongue asking for access that she willingly gave, they stayed like that for a while kissing and enjoying the warm embrace they were in, she enjoying the newfound freedom to roam her hands on his naked back and chest, after some time just that didn't seem to be enough, she wanted him closer and tried to trap him between her legs again but with an agile movement that only he could make, he disentangled himself from her embrace and got off the bed, a cry of protest left her mouth but he smirk at her and told her to stay still when she attempted to move towards him.

"I want to see you" he said and she felt a trill of excitement run down her, because he was seeing her, waist up exposed thanks to the work of his claws. She could feel goosebumps all over her skin just being under his scrutinizing eyes, his eyes fixed in her breast and she wondered what was he thinking, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispering that maybe he did not like what he saw and comparing her size to those of her cousin, she shut the voice telling her not to be stupid, the way his eyes shone and the way he was liking his lips was in no way a sing that he dislike what he saw, and if that was not proof enough she would only had to glance a bit lower than his torso to notice the evidence of how much he liked her. "You are beautiful, Kagome" he suddenly said, as if he could read the thoughts running in her mind "you are the only one for me" he added "never doubt that" and with that he crawled in the bed again and kissed his way from her belly to her lips leaving a trail of fire over her skin, he nipped and lick all the skin he encounter and with a raged breathing told her how much he wanted her and how sorry he was for being away from her.

"it's okay, Inuyasha" she said running her hands over his face and hair

"I love you" he murmured against her lips but he didn't gave her time to prosess what he had said as he started to cloud her mind with his kisses, this kiss was slow and sweet all the opposite of the previous kissed they had shared that night and it seemed to her that he was trying to regain control over himself, the rate of his heartbeat was as erratic as hers and the heat of their bodies combine was burning but not at all unwelcomed, for a moment she thought that this was it, this would be the moment when he finally made the decision to take her, she could feel the desire that they both share for the other and she did not need to be able to feel what he was feeling through any bond because she could see it in his eyes, he wanted her as much as she wanted him, but she knew better, his will even in that state of mind was so much more strong than hers.

When they finally broke contact he rested his head over her chest right above her heart and stay there hugging her with one hand around her waist and the other bent by their side in an effort to support part of his weight and not put it all over her. She felt him tense after a moment but he didn't move or say a thing, so she did the same and tried to soothe whatever thoughts crossing his mind by stroking his hair with her fingers.

After a few minutes in silence he finally spoke, it was so soft that she almost did not hear him and it took a while till she finally understood what he had said. "Look at me, Inuyasha" she said pushing at his shoulders to make him raise his head when he finally did, albeit reluctantly, she made a point to look him in the eye when she told him "you did not fail me in any way" he adverted his by then golden eyes from hers and denied

"I redid the mark; I wasn't able to control myself. I failed you Kagome" he made an attempt to get up but she crossed her arms around his neck and her legs over his waist trapping him where he was, he let out a soft growl and said her name in a warning manner asking to let him go

"No" she said.

"Kagome, let go" he repeated.

"No" she said again, with a huff he got up taking her along with him and then move away from the bed and to her sofa and sit there with her straddling his lap. She raised a brow to him in a quizzical manner and all he answered was "less temptation this way" she rolled her eyes and suppress a laugh.

"Seriously Kagome you need to let go now, and put on some clothes." He said averting his eyes again and she noticed the red that was forming on his cheeks, he was also avoiding to touch her bare skin and had purposely placed both of his hands by his sides on the sofa.

"it was not me the one who ripped mi tops, so I don't see why I should be the one searching for a new one. Besides if I let go of you now you will surely jump out from my window right after I turn to look for something and I am not letting you go before we talk things over" she told him fighting her own embarrassment, it was pointless to cover herself now, and they both knew it, not after what they had been doing on her bed just a few minutes ago. "Look at me Inuyasha" she said taking his face in her hands "I'm not mad at you for what just happened, you know that, right?"

"I know" he mumbled still refusing to look her in the eyes "and that's the fucking problem. You should be cursing me right now, you should have snapped me with your powers and send me flying out your window, you should have screamed for help the moment you saw me, but you didn't, you wouldn't and that's the fucking problem" he snapped at her.

"now you are asking me to hurt you in order to stop you?" she asked not wanting to believe what he was telling her.

"I am asking you to do whatever you need to do to stay alive" he almost pleaded "if I'm not strong enough to keep you safe from myself you have to do what it takes to survive" he added finally looking at her.

"don't be ridiculous" she protested "it ain't no way I would hurt you, besides you are not doing anything to hurt me" she watched him took a deep breath and close his eyes in a clear attempt to control whatever emotion her words had caused in him and she rushed to add "Inuyasha, I know you love me, and I know you think you are doing this in order to protect me, and I respect your decision even when I don't share it but please don't ask me to hurt you because I would also rather die than cause you any real pain with my powers, do you understand me?" he sighed and opened his eyes again, he opened and closed his mouth not finding the right words to express what he wanted, but he didn't need words, she could understand him, just by looking at him in the eyes she knew, the pain and the sadness, the longing and the fear, the inner battle he had with himself, she could see it all. She pressed her head to him and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs "I know" she murmured "I'm okay, we'll be okay, it is not the end yet, we can try it again, I promise I'll help you more this time. Just don't push me away, hum?" she asked and rested her head in his shoulder pressing herself against his body, looking to feel his warmth against herself for a little longer. He tensed a little at the contact of their exposed skins but quickly surrendered to it and wrapped his arms around her too resting his head on top of hers. "there has to be a way to make things easier on you. You don't have to suffered through this alone and definitely you don't need to hurt yourself in order to keep you from redoing the mark" she accused wanting to make him aware that she had seen the bite marks on his arm.

"it was the only way I could find to stop my transformation" he explained, though how well had that turned! It seemed pointless now, he had failed and had let his guard down and ended up doing what he had fought so hard to prevent.

"we did this your way and it didn't work, it only brought us pain. Now let me try to do things my way, hum?" she rose her head to see his face again.

"how?" he almost didn't dare to ask fearing the answer. She smiled and he knew for certain that he will not like her answer.

"you'll see" she said "now that I've been retaking my lessons with aunt Kaede I have come across some very interesting things I'd forgotten" she added with a growing smile on her face "and I might have found something that could really help us out"

"what is it?" he dared to ask.

"Tomorrow" she simply said "I'll let you know tomorrow. Now let us go back to bed, I really need to sleep" she said pushing herself up and back to bed, once there she took her phone and looked the time, 2 in the morning she really needed to go back to sleep, Kaede had asked her to be back at the temple after sunrise, which meant at 6 in the morning, she only had 4 more hours to sleep. She groaned at the thought of how tired she felt and tucked herself in the bed again then looked to see what Inuyasha was doing since he hadn't gotten in with her. "are you planning to go?" she asked when he found him standing closer to the window with his shirt in hand.

"I think that would be the wisest idea, don't you think?" he said a bit uncertain, after all what he had feared had already happened, now he was feeling a lot better and there was not a trace of his fever which meant his blood was not trying to take over, he tried not to think about the reason for that change.

"come into the bed Inuyasha" was her answer "you agreed to do things my way this time" she remembered him.

"I don't think you gave me any other option" he accused her

"don't leave me again. You promised you would not leave me alone anymore, remember?" she threw his words to his face, another remainder of how many promises he had been braking lately. He didn't say another word just put on his shirt and climbed on the bed to lay next to her. She made a happy sound and tucked herself against his side. "good night, Inuyasha" she mumbled falling sleep almost immediately.

"Good night, Kagome" he whispered and kissed her temple before letting himself fall in a much needed sleep for the first time in three days.