Chapter 147

The week in St. Louis seemed to fly by, with the four Spencer-Rivera's more than busy. They were able to get their entire hotel staffed except for the hiring of a banquet manager. Rafe and Ava had done an excellent job hiring their general staff and Olivia and Natalia were able to find acceptable managers for each department. They had three decent candidates for the position of banquet manager, but none of them had that certain flair they were looking for. Maybe they expected too much since Greg always went above and beyond.

Ashely and Isabel had also done an amazing job in finding venders and, with the help of a few of their managers in Springfield, were able to order everything they would need to open. Including fully stocking the kitchen and bar. The necessary staff for the grand opening had been hired, including an up-and-coming D.J. Olivia was glad that every day the two were proving more and more that she had made the right decision in deciding to offer them both full time jobs after the opening.

Thursdays lunch had been a huge success. Although both chefs had done a marvelous job, Palo and his sous chef, Neal, had been chosen for the position. Palo had asked to at least be able to help in staffing the kitchen, which the Spencer-Rivera wives had agreed to, as long as he was aware that they had final say. Now it was Saturday evening and they were all preparing for the trip home in the morning. Isabel and Ashley had decided to join them, both wanting to be there for Rafe, as well as Ashley wanting to see her mom and Isabel wanting to check in on Clara.

Natalia was in she and Olivia's room packing their suitcase when Isabel knocked on the door. "Hey, you, come on in. How's it going?"

"Good. I've got my bag packed and ready for the morning already."

"Good, we were planning on leaving tomorrow evening, but since we were able to task Trinity and Christian with the final few things we needed to do, and have Jordan set up to start training on Monday, we decided to fly out early and get some time with the family."

"I'm glad. I really miss mama and Emma."

"Yeah, me too. Emma's been at her father's for the week, so, we wouldn't have seen her anyways, but, I hate being so far away from her."

"She really is the cutest kid."

"Yes, and so smart."

"Too smart."

"She is so much like Olivia, there is no denying who that girls mommy is."

"Or her mama. I swear, some of her mannerism, I could easily forget she's not biologically yours."

Natalia smile at that. In her heart, all three of her children were as much hers as they were Olivia's, but it was nice when other people noticed just how much all three of them were both of theirs. "Thank you."

Isabel returned her sister's smile. "So, when are you and Olivia gonna have another one?"

Natalia almost choked on the water she had been in the process of drinking. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on. I know you would love to have another baby."

"Isabel…"

"What? You two are both great moms, and you have always loved babies."

"I do love babies, but, I already have three children, and with the hotels…"

"Oh, stop it. I can see it in your eyes right now, you so want to have a baby with Olivia."

"Okay fine. The thought may have crossed my mind a time or two. But, I just don't know. I'm not sure Olivia wants more kids, and we really do have a lot going on."

"So."

"So, what?"

"Look Natalia, I know I don't have kids, I don't really want them…"

"What? You don't want kids, like ever?"

"Well, no. I mean, papa was so strict and controlling, and mama so passive, and after you left, things got so much worse. I decided a long time ago that I never wanted kids. I don't want to worry about someone else's life. I have a hard enough time with my own."

"I guess I can understand that. I always wanted to be a mother. Having Rafe, it was so hard, but, seeing his little face, hearing him say mama the first time, watching him take his first steps, and now, watching him become this amazing man, it was all worth it. Every dead-end job, every sleepless night, every second of worry, it was all worth it."

"I remember when we were little, you wanted a house full of kids. You were going to stay home and take care of them while your husband worked. Guess that didn't really work out for you did it?"

"No, but, what I got is so much better."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, for one thing, my wife is so much more amazing then any husband could ever be, and I enjoying working. I know I've earned everything that I have. I've fought hard to get where I am. I would never have known the pride I feel for myself if I had ended up as some man's housewife."

"Well, I'm really proud of you. I mean, you raised Rafe all by yourself, and now you have these amazing daughters, and Olivia loves you so much. I hope one day I find a love like that."

Natalia cupped her sister's cheek and looked into her eyes. "You will hermana. Have faith."

"Thanks. So, babies?"

Just then Olivia walked into the room, only half paying attention as she checked an email on her phone, but the word 'babies' caught her attention. She snapped her head up to look at the two women before her. "What about babies?"

Natalia walked over to her wife and placed a kiss to her cheek. "Nothing mi amor. Isabel is just being ridiculous." Natalia stated with a pointed look at her sister.

"Actually, we were just discussing whether or not you and Natalia…"

"Isabel!" Natalia warned.

"Oh fine. I'll leave you two to finish packing and go bug my niece and nephew."

"You do that." Natalia said, dismissing her with a wave of her hand.

Olivia turned to her wife. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing." Natalia said a little too quickly.

"Not nothing. I can tell something is on your mind. What is it sweetheart?" Olivia asked gently, taking Natalia's hand, and leading her to sit on the bed.

"Nothing, it's just…" She trailed off, unsure of how to bring it up. It had been mentioned in the past, but never really talked about. Now the thought of having a child with Olivia was at the forefront on Natalia's brain and she really wanted to know if it would ever be something Olivia wanted.

Olivia placed a hand on the small of her back and rubbed soothing circles. "Just what?" She asked softly.

"Well, Isabel was asking if we would ever…you know…maybe have another child." She said barely above a whisper, looking down at her lap, afraid to see Olivia's face after she said it.

Olivia took a deep breath; she had not been expecting that. She had thought after Emma that that would be it. And then Ava came back into her life and now Rafe. She was so blessed to have all of her children in her life and she hadn't much thought about adding more. "Is that something you want? More children?"

"Maybe, I don't know." Natalia said softly, still refusing to make eye contact with her partner.

"Hey, look at me." Olivia gently commanded, tilting Natalia's chin so she could see those expressive brown eyes. "Do you want to have another baby?"

Natalia tried to look away, but Olivia wouldn't allow her too. She did want a child with Olivia. A baby that was just theirs. But she was worried that Olivia didn't and that this would only drive a wedge between them. Make Olivia run, claiming she couldn't give Natalia everything she wanted and deserved. As much as she wanted another baby, she could live happily without one. She has three beautiful children and an amazing wife, she didn't need more, even if she wanted it.

Natalia's eyes said what her mouth wouldn't. Olivia knew that Natalia truly wanted another baby, one that they planned and raised from the start together. She couldn't deny that the thought made her burst with happiness. Although she had never thought about having more children, the thought of a pregnant Natalia made butterflies flutter in her tummy and knowing it would be their child made her heart grow.

Taking Natalia's hand, she kissed each of her knuckles and then turned it over and kissed her palm. "I wouldn't mind having another one." She finally said, seeing worry cloud her wife's beautiful face.

Natalia's smile beamed as she stared into Olivia's eyes, looking for any doubt in them. Wanting to make sure that Olivia really wanted this and wasn't just trying to make her happy. She found nothing but sincerity staring back at her. "Really?!"

"Yes! I would love to have a baby with you. To pick out a donor together and watch them grow inside you. Maybe even be a part of inseminating you. Then I could tell people I knocked you up." She said with a cheeky smile.

Natalia swatted her stomach. "Oh you. So, you really want another baby?"

Olivia cupped Natalia's face in both hands and leaned in close. "I would love nothing more." She said, closing the gap between them to seal it with a kiss. When they parted, she took both of Natalia's hands and brought them to her chest. "I really want to do this honey, but, I think we need to wait. We have Rafe's hearing in a couple of days, and we need to get this hotel open, but after that, we can start looking at our options. Okay?"

Natalia nodded vigorously. "Yeah. Okay. I know we need to let things settle first, and honestly, although I had thought about it, I never intended to bring it up now. We have been through so much lately, and we are still trying to get our lives back to normal in the wake of what happened in January, but, Isabel brought it up and…"

"I know baby. I want this, I want everything with you, I just want it to be right. I want to know that you aren't going to spend the entire pregnancy stressed out. I want to know that our other children are in a good place, and that we are too. There is still a lot of healing to be done in our family after all we've been through. I just don't want to rush into anything."

"I know. And you're right. I'm just glad that this is something we both want." Natalia paused as something clicked in her head. "Hey, why do you just assume I'll be the one to carry?"

"Well, you are younger, and besides, I've already given us two, it's your turn."

"I suppose it does make more sense for me to carry, you are kind of old." Natalia said with a smirk, shoving Olivia in the shoulder playfully.

"Hey! Just remember, you married this old lady." Olivia shot back with a smile.

Natalia brought her wife into her arms and kissed her soundly. "And I'd do it all again. I love you so much."

Olivia leaned in for another kiss. "I love you too."

After a few more kisses, the two finished packing and joined the others for dinner and a movie before calling it a night and getting some sleep. The following week was going to be just as busy as this one had been and they needed to be well rested.

When they arrived back in Springfield the following morning, everyone separated. Ashley went to see her mom, Ava and Rafe went to get settled back at home, Isabel decided to meet up with her mom at the church, and Olivia and Natalia headed to Phillips to collect Emma and then meet back with everyone at the farmhouse.

Before they could even knock, the mansions front door flew open and an excited Emma came running out. "Mommy, mama. I missed you." She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around both of their legs.

"We missed you too Jellybean." Olivia said, bending down to kiss the top of her daughter's head. "Did you have fun with your daddy?"

"Yup. We watched movies, and ate pizza, and Payton and me got to help Hilda make cookies, but they weren't as good as ma's."

Phillip chuckled as he walked up behind his daughter, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Yes, she did make that point known. I'm not sure Hilda will ever make cookies again."

Olivia tried to hide a chuckle behind her hand but failed. "Olivia!" Natalia chastised with a slap to her lover's stomach.

"What?" The look in her lover's eyes told her exactly what. "Oh, come on, you have to admit, it's kind of funny."

Natalia just shook her head at her child like wife. "Emma, why don't you go get your things so we can head home."

Emma nodded and took off up the stairs to her room with an 'okay ma' shot over her shoulder.

"Would you ladies like to come in for a minute?" Phillip asked as he opened the door wider.

Olivia and Natalia stepped through the door and into the foyer. "How was she this week?" Olivia asked, glancing up the stairs to make sure Emma was out of earshot.

"Good. She had a couple of rough nights, but nothing to serious, and Beth took her over to Doris's on Thursday for a few hours. Seems our little girl can't go a full week without some Auntie Doris time." He said with a smile, thinking how strange it was that the once cold-hearted mayor was completely wrapped around his baby girl's pinky finger.

"Yeah. I think Doris was more excited than Emma. She called as soon as Emma left and sounded like a ten-year-old after her first sleepover." Olivia laughed at the mental image.

"Well, I for one am glad that she has Doris." Natalia stated. As much as she had disliked the mayor at one time, she had grown to love her as a part of their family over the last few months and was more than grateful that she had been there for Emma, all of them really.

Olivia slipped an arm around her wife's waist and kissed her cheek. "We're just fooling honey. We are all very happy to have Doris in our lives."

Before anything more could be said, an excited nine year came bounding down the stairs, backpack thrown over one shoulder and her coat halfway on. "Can we go home now? I wanna see Ava and Rafe and Grandma and Aunt Isabel." She said in a rush.

"Yes baby, we can go home now, say goodbye to your father." Natalia said gently, also wanting to get home after being gone for a week. Emma hugged and kissed her father goodbye and the three headed out to their car and home to the farmhouse.

Olivia barely had the car in park before Emma was flying out of the back seat and dashing up the walk and into the house, calling for her brother and sister the whole way. "Ava, Rafe, where are you guys?"

Natalia and Olivia followed their rambunctious daughter into the house, depositing their suitcase by the door before heading into the kitchen, also looking for their eldest two.

Emma came running in out of breath after checking the entire house for her siblings and plopped into a chair. "Where are they? You said they would be here."

Olivia turned from the coffee pot she was setting up to take in her daughters sad expression. "I'm sure they are here somewhere Jellybean. Rafe's truck is in the driveway and Clara has Ava's car. Did you check out in their apartment?"

A smile lit up Emma's face as she realized that no she had not in fact looked there. She had forgotten that Rafe had moved in with Ava. Shooting up from her chair, she sprinted out the back door and towards Ava and Rafe's apartment.

Natalia chuckled as she stepped up behind Olivia at the sink and wrapped her arms around her. The two watching from the window as Ava opened her door and scooped up her little sister. Rafe joining them and tickling Emma's belly, making her laugh and squirm out of Ava's arms. They watched with happy smiles until the door shut behind Emma entering the apartment.

"They seem happy to be home." Natalia said, kissing Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia turned in her arms, placing her hands on slender hips. "Yeah, they do. And, it seems them living together is working out too."

"Well, they haven't spent much time out there since the move, but, I think they will be just fine. They spend most of their time together anyways. Although, Ava did mention a few squabbles while they were in St. Louis."

"Really, neither of them said anything to me."

"That's because they both know you would have gone all mommy Spencer on them. It was nothing major, just normal sibling stuff. I'm actually kind of glad they had some disagreements."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad our family is so close and gets along so well, but, I was starting to think something was wrong with the two of them. I mean really Olivia, what siblings, or two people at all for that matter, spend that much time together without a single fight? Just look at us. We have arguments all the time, it's natural."

"I guess you're right. All we did was fight at the beginning and look at us now."

Natalia leaned forward, pressing her body against her wife's as she locked their lips in an intense kiss. "Must have just been sexual tension." She whispered before pulling away and heading into the laundry room.

Olivia stood stunned for a few minutes, then shook her head and trailed after her love, catching her by the waist as she was loading the washing machine. "You can't just say something like that and then walk away."

Natalia giggled as kisses were peppered to the back of her neck. "It would appear I just did." She stated through her giggles, playfully swatting back at Olivia's hips. "Now stop it you, I need to get this laundry started and then lunch."

With a sigh and one last kiss, Olivia released her love to go and see what they had to make lunch with. Just as she was finishing up, Clara and Isabel walked in from church and sat at the table after saying their hellos. The family enjoyed sandwiches and getting caught up with one another before playing some board games. Natalia and Rafe decided to join Clara and Isabel for the evening service at church after dinner since they had missed so many Sundays, leaving Olivia to spend some much-needed quality time with her girls.

"So, mom, what's on the agenda tonight?" Ava asked, plopping down on the couch next to her little sister.

"Well, I was thinking, we might head down to the nail salon and get manicures. I called and they agreed to stay open a little late for us."

"Really mommy, we can go get our nails done?" Emma asked excitedly, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Yup." Olivia replied, popping the p. "But, we need to hurry. Go get your shoes on." Emma jumped up and ran to the back door where her shoes were, putting her coat on as well. Ava and Olivia followed close behind and the three headed out for some pampering and bonding.

As soon as they returned home, Olivia put Emma to bed, with the exhausted girl falling asleep before she even finished one chapter in her book. There was still about an hour before the rest of their family would return since Natalia had text stating they were staying late for a bible study group. Olivia took the opportunity to check in with her eldest child. Although things were going very well for them as of late, Olivia knew all too well how old feelings could continue to linger.

Joining her daughter in the living room, Olivia sat on the couch opposite Ava. "Tonight, was nice, fun."

"Yeah. It really was. I enjoyed having time with just you and Emma." Ava said, looking up from the magazine she had been reading while waiting for Olivia to put Emma to bed.

"Me too. It's been awhile since it was just the three of us."

"Yeah. I think Emma liked it too." Ava agreed with a wistful smile.

"I know. We should do it more often. Spend time with just us. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love Rafe and Natalia and our ever-expanding family, but, it's nice to have time with just my girls again."

"I miss it sometimes. I mean, I know I never lived with you and Emma back then, but, it was cool to hang out, just the three of us. Even just the two of us. It was kind of fun scheming with you to take Gus from Ma."

"Okay, that isn't weird at all." Olivia said with a smile.

"What?" Ava asked confused.

"You just talked about me trying to take my wife's husband and referred to her as Ma. It's been so long since I thought about that. Seems like a lifetime ago. I would have never believed then that I would be married to Natalia now."

"I know right." Ava agreed with a snicker. "What was it you used to call her? Oh yeah, Mother Teresa, or 'miss goody two shoes."

"God, back then all I cared about besides you girls was getting Gus. It was so important to me, I didn't even care about Natalia getting hurt, or Rafe losing his father again." Olivia shook her head at her former self, wishing she could somehow take it all back, to have never hurt the love of her life the way she did.

Ava noticed the sad faraway look in her mother's eye's. She understood what she was feeling all too well. Maybe if she hadn't been so hell bent on getting Bill, Max would still be alive and she and Remy might have been a family. Not that it mattered now. Remy had Christina and their new baby, Bill had Lizzy who was very pregnant, and she had the family she never knew she needed. Yet, even knowing all of that didn't make the what if's hurt any less.

Olivia shook herself from her thoughts and glanced up at her daughter, seeing the same sad look in her eyes she herself was wearing. Reaching out, she took her hand and squeezed. "You wanna talk about it?"

Ava looked up at her mother as a few tears leaked from her eyes. She shook her head and tried to stop from crying. "No, I'm okay."

"You don't look okay. What are thinking about? Max?"

Ava nodded. "Yeah. I just, maybe if I would have just been honest with myself, with Bill and Remy, then maybe I wouldn't have been so stressed and he would still be here."

Olivia had tears of her own now as she moved closer to her eldest and wrapped her in a tight hug. "I know honey, it's hard not to think of what could have been, but, the truth is, we will never know if it would have made a difference. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Max. It just happened. It wasn't fair, and it hurt, and it just plain sucked. But, we have to believe that Max is in a better place. I may not be a religious person, but your Ma sure is, and she says he's watching over us with Gus and Jeffery. And, I have enough faith in her to believe that's true."

Ava nodded against Olivia's shoulder and then pulled back from the hug, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. "I know. It's just, I guess I get scared sometimes. What if I never have another child mom?"

Olivia smiled sadly at her daughter. "You will baby. I know you will. When the time is right. And Natalia and I are going to spoil the hell outta that kid." Her smile was lighter thinking about grandchildren running around the farmhouse while she chased after them and Natalia baked cookies. Maybe the child her and Natalia wanted to have would still be in the house to play with them, and maybe Emma would still be in the house too, complaining that they were too loud while she was on the phone with her friends.

Ava let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I can just imagine you and ma as grandmas. My kids will come home hopped up on sugar from ma and toting the latest gadget from you."

"Sounds about right."

"Thanks mom." Ava said seriously.

"For what?"

"For listening to me and being here for me."

Olivia cupped her daughters cheek in her hand. "I will always be here for you. Any time, anywhere. I love you Ava."

Ava leaned into the touch and let her eyes close for a moment. Savoring the warmth. "I love you too mom."

Olivia leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead. This kiss was a mother's love being passed to her daughter, offering comfort, protection, and most of all, deep unconditional love.