A/N: I know what the producer's name is but I didn't feel like writing it out.
Narrator: Welcome back to ER: Life in the Windy Apple
(Scene opens in the doctor's lounge.)
Anthony Edwards (talking with producer): How can this be live!? We don't even have any lines memorized!
Producer: You have the cue cards.
Anthony Edwards: In case you didn't notice, they forgot the cue cards for half the cast!
Producer: I told that girl over there to write them!
Anthony Edwards: Yeah! It's a girl! She only wrote them for the actors she has a crush on or that she likes!
Producer: No she didn't.
Anthony Edwards: Oh really? I got the cue cards for Maura Tierney, Alex Kingston, Goran Visnjic, Erik Palladino and Noah Wyle! That's it!
Producers: Nonsense, she probably did it in alphabetical order.
Anthony Edwards: That's not in alphabetical order!
Producer: You're on!
Anthony Edwards: What? (Producer has already left) Wait until the next commercial break! (Clears throat)
Mark Greene looks around (yelling): Um, I wonder when, uh DOCTOR CHEN is going to get here? (We hear some shuffling in the background)
Ming-Na: Wait, no I don't want to- (She's pushed through the door)
Jing-Mei Chen: Hi, Doctor Greene. Did you, um, get to go over my patient?
Greene: The one with the, um, (he points at his head, then shoulder, then arm) chest-pain?
Chen: That's right her chart is around here somewhere. (Someone throws it to her) Okay...
Someone off camera: Dr. Greene we need you out here for a second.
Greene: I'll be right back. (We hear him in the background. Dr. Chen gets coffee)
Anthony Edwards: What did you want me- what are you doing with that cloth? No, wait! No- (After a few minutes of struggling we hear a loud thud. Some other man is pushed into the lounge. He has on glasses without any lenses. He is short, chubby and has a lot of hair with a hair cut like Elvis)
"Greene" (The man makes his voice deep): Hi Doctor, doctor, um-
Chen: Chen.
"Greene": Chen, sorry it's the whole head thing you know.
Chen: No I don't.
"Greene": Doctor...Chen. I have something to tell you.
Chen: What is it?
"Greene": I'm your biological father.
Chen: What are you talking about? I'm not adopted. Dr. Weaver was adopted.
"Greene": That right, I'm Dr. Weaver's father.
Chen: No you're not! You and Kerry don't have that huge of an age gap! I'm not doing this! Who ever thought of this idea should get fired! (She walks out. Dr. "Greene" follows her)
"Greene": I'm your cousin? Your uncle? Your lover? Please come back! I'm going to get fired.
(Cut to next scene)
(Scene opens on the roof)
Abby: What's wrong Dave?
Malucci: I'm dying Abby. [dum, dum, duuummm]
Abby: What?
Malucci: That's right and I'm afraid that I never found true love.
Abby: Oh Dave.
Dave: So what do you say? You and me just in case I never find it.
Abby: What?
Dave: I have a hotel room. Huh? (He raises his eyebrows. He smiles his classic Malucci smile and moves closer to her. Looking as sexy as he can [that last line was for the ladies] He licks his lips and begins to-)
Erik Palladino: Stop! Stop! Dave wouldn't ask Abby out! No offense. Dave wouldn't do what you have written there! That's sick and very X rated!
Maura Tierney: Who wrote out our cue cards? (A fan fiction writer raises their hand)
(Cut to next scene)
That's all for now. Please don't flame me for the last comment. It's just for laughs. E-mail is wildjunglebeast@aol.com
Narrator: Welcome back to ER: Life in the Windy Apple
(Scene opens in the doctor's lounge.)
Anthony Edwards (talking with producer): How can this be live!? We don't even have any lines memorized!
Producer: You have the cue cards.
Anthony Edwards: In case you didn't notice, they forgot the cue cards for half the cast!
Producer: I told that girl over there to write them!
Anthony Edwards: Yeah! It's a girl! She only wrote them for the actors she has a crush on or that she likes!
Producer: No she didn't.
Anthony Edwards: Oh really? I got the cue cards for Maura Tierney, Alex Kingston, Goran Visnjic, Erik Palladino and Noah Wyle! That's it!
Producers: Nonsense, she probably did it in alphabetical order.
Anthony Edwards: That's not in alphabetical order!
Producer: You're on!
Anthony Edwards: What? (Producer has already left) Wait until the next commercial break! (Clears throat)
Mark Greene looks around (yelling): Um, I wonder when, uh DOCTOR CHEN is going to get here? (We hear some shuffling in the background)
Ming-Na: Wait, no I don't want to- (She's pushed through the door)
Jing-Mei Chen: Hi, Doctor Greene. Did you, um, get to go over my patient?
Greene: The one with the, um, (he points at his head, then shoulder, then arm) chest-pain?
Chen: That's right her chart is around here somewhere. (Someone throws it to her) Okay...
Someone off camera: Dr. Greene we need you out here for a second.
Greene: I'll be right back. (We hear him in the background. Dr. Chen gets coffee)
Anthony Edwards: What did you want me- what are you doing with that cloth? No, wait! No- (After a few minutes of struggling we hear a loud thud. Some other man is pushed into the lounge. He has on glasses without any lenses. He is short, chubby and has a lot of hair with a hair cut like Elvis)
"Greene" (The man makes his voice deep): Hi Doctor, doctor, um-
Chen: Chen.
"Greene": Chen, sorry it's the whole head thing you know.
Chen: No I don't.
"Greene": Doctor...Chen. I have something to tell you.
Chen: What is it?
"Greene": I'm your biological father.
Chen: What are you talking about? I'm not adopted. Dr. Weaver was adopted.
"Greene": That right, I'm Dr. Weaver's father.
Chen: No you're not! You and Kerry don't have that huge of an age gap! I'm not doing this! Who ever thought of this idea should get fired! (She walks out. Dr. "Greene" follows her)
"Greene": I'm your cousin? Your uncle? Your lover? Please come back! I'm going to get fired.
(Cut to next scene)
(Scene opens on the roof)
Abby: What's wrong Dave?
Malucci: I'm dying Abby. [dum, dum, duuummm]
Abby: What?
Malucci: That's right and I'm afraid that I never found true love.
Abby: Oh Dave.
Dave: So what do you say? You and me just in case I never find it.
Abby: What?
Dave: I have a hotel room. Huh? (He raises his eyebrows. He smiles his classic Malucci smile and moves closer to her. Looking as sexy as he can [that last line was for the ladies] He licks his lips and begins to-)
Erik Palladino: Stop! Stop! Dave wouldn't ask Abby out! No offense. Dave wouldn't do what you have written there! That's sick and very X rated!
Maura Tierney: Who wrote out our cue cards? (A fan fiction writer raises their hand)
(Cut to next scene)
That's all for now. Please don't flame me for the last comment. It's just for laughs. E-mail is wildjunglebeast@aol.com