IF THE ROLLER FITS

Written by Zack Wanzer and Rachel Ravens

Set during Series 6-7

"Spot on, Buster! Ye'd make a mother proud!"

"Ah, just doing my job, ma'am." Buster and the rest of the Pack were helping to repair a pier at Norramby. Not too long ago, it had weakened due to an incident with James and a very fishy situation.

"You lot seem to have everything under control," called a cheerful voice. The Pack turned to see Arthur on the track nearby.

"Hello, Arthur," called Buster. "How are you settling in on your new branch line?"

"Swimmingly," the red tank engine grinned. "Figuratively speaking, of course," he added with a chuckle. "The fishermen here have plenty of stories to tell about their travels on the seas."

"I bet they do," laughed Buster. "You and Salty should meet up sometime. You both have a love for sea stories and the smell of fish."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Arthur. "It'll be good to have that pier restored."

"It'll be fixed faster than you can say 'Sir Topham Hatt'," chuckled Jack.

Later that day, the Pack's crews were on their lunch break, and Buster's driver had his son with him; his son was picked up early from school due to having parent-teacher interviews.

"So, dad," said his son, "could you read me this book?"

"Of course," smiled the driver. The book's title was Four Little Engines, and it had a picture of Henry and Peter Sam on the cover. However, instead of Peter Sam's dark green, he was in red with blue lining. Buster listened intently to the book; not all the stories were accurate, but this first story, "The Shining Light", seemed to be pretty good so far. The manager was described as "lazy", not "abusive", but being made for children, they had to tone it down. Sir Handel was a bit abrasive in that story, but, given what actually happened, Buster wasn't too surprised.

Then there came the second story named after Sir Handel.

"'What a small shed!' grumbled Sir Handel. 'This won't do at all!'" Buster's driver read. "'We're much too good for this small shack.' 'I think it's nice,' said Peter Sam. 'Huh,' grunted Sir Handel. 'What's that rubbish?' 'Shh, that's Skarloey, the famous old engine.'"

Rheneas should have been with Skarloey in that moment in time, but that was the least of this book's issues as the story continued.

"That Sir Handel is just awful!" cried the little boy. "He's rude to the old coaches, and he's rude to poor Skarloey! Why would Peter Sam think of him as 'nice'?"

"I'm not too sure," said his father. "Let's continue the book and see what happens…"

Buster closed his eyes. I never really got a chance to speak with Sir Handel… Is he always like that, or are the books missing details on how he actually behaves?

Meanwhile, Sir Handel was puffing along the Skarloey Railway with the bogie coaches, Gertrude and Millicent.

"A lovely day for a passenger run," he said to the coaches.

"Indeed so, Sir Handel," smiled Gertrude. "The weather sure is dry today."

"It is beautiful," agreed Millicent. "I don't think anything could spoil this day."

But Millicent had spoken too soon; as the trio pulled into Lakeside, they could see Rusty with George, and judging by the little diesel's expression, the encounter was far from pleasant.

"For Great Railway's sake, George!" cried Rusty. "Can't you go one day without causing an incident?!"

"What's he done now?" grunted Sir Handel. He glanced over at Rusty's spilled slate from his trucks. "O…kay… never mind."

"Dat little orange buzzbox on wheels wasn't payin' attention to where he was shuntin' his darned wagons," snapped George. "He didn't warn me about where he was puttin' 'em!"

"First of all, my name is Rusty," said the little diesel. "Second of all, I was told to put these trucks on that siding, and you backed into them without paying attention!"

"I'm calling someone to bring in the breakdown train," sighed Mr. Hugh.

"What's that rotten roller doing here, anyway?" asked Gertrude.

"He's supposed to be helping to repair the roads near Lakeside," sighed Rusty, still glaring at the steamroller. "Why the council couldn't send in another roller, I'll never understand."

"I'm in full agreement on that subject," said Millicent. "Surely the council has at least one other roller we haven't met yet?"

"I'd be a lot happier if I didn't have you old kettles an' oil guzzlers ta deal with!" growled George, rolling away.

"Let's hope someone gets here with that breakdown train soon," sighed Sir Handel.

But George hadn't noticed that, in his haste to leave, he was rolling the wrong way.

"George!" cried Peter Sam as he puffed in with Hilda. "Watch out for that…"

SPLASH!

"…lake."

"Oooh!" shivered George. "Get me out! Get me out!"

Everyone burst out laughing.

"George, George, George the steamroller, watch out for that lake!" sang Hilda.

"Serves him right," chuckled Sir Handel.

It was later that evening when George could finally be fished out of the lake. Butch was towing as hard as he could, but it was quite a struggle.

"How deep did you get in there?" Butch grunted.

"No one told me dat dis lake was right in my way!" protested George.

"In other words, you didn't look where you were going," sighed Butch. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

After much struggle, Butch finally pulled George out of the lake. The grumpy steamroller was very muddy, wet and miserable.

"This may take a while to get you repaired," Butch muttered to himself.

At the sheds, Peter Sam, Rusty and Sir Handel were telling the other engines about the mishap.

"I say thank goodness we don't have to put up with that oversized rolling pin for very long," said Sir Handel.

"From the way you lot have described him," said Fred, "he doesn't sound all that pleasant."

"Not in the slightest," agreed Peter Sam; he remembered all too well the insults George had thrown regarding Duke, both directly and indirectly.

"I hate to interrupt," said Skarloey, "but is the road at Lakeside completely mended yet?"

"No," said Rusty. "It's still got lots of potholes. That won't be good for the cars or buses."

"Where are they going to find another roller?" asked Rheneas. "George can't be the only one the council owns."

"I guess we'll just have to sleep on that," said Rusty.

"On the rollers?" asked Flyer.

"No, Flyer," chuckled Duke. "He means to sleep on the subject until the morning."

"Oh, I see," the inspection trolley smiled.

Thankfully, by morning, the little engines did not have to speculate for too long. Miss Jenny had agreed with the council to loan Buster to help repair the roads near Lakeside. The red steamroller was eager to help out.

"I haven't had a chance to see all the narrow gauge engines personally yet," said Buster.

"Watch out for Sir Handel," said Nelson, who was due to transport Buster to the site. "He had some bad run-ins with George."

"Oh, yes," winced Buster. "I just hope he doesn't get the wrong idea…"

Buster soon set to work repairing the road. As he was flattening the tarmac, he heard the whistle of one of the narrow gauge engines and frowned nervously, hoping it wasn't Sir Handel.

"Good morning, Buster! It's been ages, hasn't it?" It was Rheneas, with the old coaches in tow, who had called out to the red steamroller.

"Oh, hello there, Rheneas," greeted Buster, relieved. "Yes, it has been a while since the Boulder Quarry project. Shame that all our efforts to get it reopened went nowhere…"

"Yes, it's one of those things, I'm afraid," agreed Rheneas. "But on the plus side, I did hear some rumors about a new quarry being opened beyond Lakeside and north of Shane Dooiney."

"You mean, as in one of the mountain engines?" asked Buster.

"No!" laughed Rheneas. "Shane Dooiney as in the mountain north of Shen Ven! It translates to 'The Old Man' from Sudric, like how my name means 'divided waterfall'."

"Ohhh, I understand," said Buster. "I'm glad to hear about the new quarry."

"It's only a rumor," said Ruth. "We're not sure how much of that is true."

"Though we still get lots of tourists," added Lucy. "Even if that quarry falls through, that will be able to hold us for a while."

Rheneas, Buster and the old coaches chatted amicably together until it was time for Rheneas to depart.

"See you later, Buster," smiled the old engine. "With you here, the road will be fixed in no time."

That went a lot better than I'd expected, thought Buster to himself. Hopefully, I'll have the same sort of luck with Sir Handel when I see him.

But I'm afraid to say that this was not going to be the case; Sir Handel was heading up to Lakeside once again with Gertrude and Millicent in tow. No prizes as to what he was talking about…

"He's always causing trouble," grumbled Sir Handel. "No matter what we say or do, George always comes back to bite us in the buffers."

"How low can he go?" grunted Gertrude. "First he made a rude remark about 'engines being sheeted up for eternity'..."

"Then he knocks Cora over," added Millicent.

"And don't forget when he tried to tear apart the family I have with Duke and Peter Sam," sighed Sir Handel. "And yet that George seems to come back for more! It's as if his sole purpose is to make our lives a misery!"

As he was working, Buster could hear Sir Handel's ranting about George, even before the dark blue tank engine arrived, and began to lose focus on what he was doing.

"Oh, I was afraid of that…" sighed Buster. "I hope I can make this right…"

But then there was trouble; as Sir Handel was coming into view, Buster didn't notice there was a wet patch on the road, and he started skidding towards the railway.

"What are you doing?!" gasped Sir Handel.

"Whoa!" cried Buster; he was heading right for Gertrude and Millicent!

"Girls!" Sir Handel quickly moved them out of the way. He was just in time, as Buster rolled over the tracks, but managed to come to a safe stop just before he rolled off the edge of the harbor.

"Oh my," gasped Buster, looking down at the water below. "That was a close one!" He rolled away from the edge and over to where Sir Handel, Gertrude and Millicent stood. "I-I-I'm very sorry about this-" Buster began, but Sir Handel cut him off.

"What in the name of Hughes did you think you were doing?!" the dark blue engine shouted, furiously. "You could've hurt my coaches and passengers had I not moved out of the way!"

"I-I didn't mean to- I mean, I wasn't trying-"

"It's bad enough we have to deal with one troublesome steamroller, and now we have to deal with you too?!" Sir Handel growled. "I swear, you rollers are all the same; always clumsy, rude and having disrespect for railway engines and rolling stock alike."

"Sir Handel!" gasped Gertrude. "That was quite uncalled for!"

"You've only just encountered Buster," added Millicent, "and you don't even know if he's anything like George!"

But unfortunately for the coaches, Sir Handel wasn't listening. Poor Buster was so shaken up by the dark blue engine's words that he rolled away and back to work, trying not to cry.

"Smooth move, Sir Handel," grunted Gertrude.

"We're very sorry about him, Buster," called Millicent, but before she could say anymore, the guard's whistle had blown, meaning that they had to depart.

Later, Sir Handel met up with Duncan at Rheneas station.

"…and that was when Buster had a near miss with Gertrude and Millicent," he was saying.

"Huh, that dinnae sound like a near miss ta me," remarked Duncan. "It was more lak a near hit! A collision's a near miss. 'Look, they nearly missed!' 'Aye, but not quite!'"

"It's always technicalities with you, isn't it?" muttered Sir Handel.

"Ah heard aboot it from mah driver's television set from an American comedian," explained Duncan. "Sounds lak he says it the way it is."

"I see," said Sir Handel. "Regardless, my passengers, Gertrude and Millicent could have gotten seriously hurt!"

"That may be true, Sir Handel," said Duncan, "but… are ye sure Buster did that on purpose?"

"He was heading right for Gertrude and Millicent, and…"

"He looked distracted when he was coming towards us, Sir Handel!" cried Millicent. "Buster was in tears when you left Lakeside!"

"Have ye ever spoken ta Buster before today?" asked Duncan. "If Ah recall, ye two never met during the Boulder Quarry project."

Sir Handel blinked, unsure of how to respond.

"Think back ta when Rusty was new here," continued Duncan. "Remember how he was unfairly judged because of Diesel's actions… by both of us?"

Sir Handel did remember; it was because of his misjudgment towards Rusty that led to Peter Sam's accident at the old slate quarry, an accident which still haunted him to this day, wishing he could take it all back. Yes, Gordon had given him some bad advice, but Sir Handel still felt it was entirely his fault that his closest friend got damaged.

"Y-yes…" Sir Handel stammered. "I was really unfair to Rusty back then… Oh, Great Railway, I've really messed this one up…"

"Ye can make this right," said Duncan. "Ye just need another chance ta talk ta Buster."

Up at Lakeside, Buster was chatting with Duke, Ada, Jane, Mabel and Cora about the situation.

"I… I'm so sorry I nearly hurt everyone…" the red steamroller sighed.

"I know you meant no harm, Buster," assured Duke. "As long as I've known Sir Handel, he's many things, but heartless isn't one of them, in spite of what the books based on Sodor's railways would have you believe."

"Oh…" winced Buster. "Yes… er, my driver picked up Four Little Engines and read it to his son. Let's just say he didn't take to Sir Handel very well."

Duke sighed. "There's a lot of details missed in that book, but I'll tell you more another time."

"You've known Sir Handel since day one of his life, haven't you?" said Buster.

Duke closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes. Sir Handel may seem tough, but deep down… he's got a warm heart. It can take a while for him to let his walls down."

"Thanks for letting me know," said Buster. "I'll try and speak with Sir Handel later."

"Thank you, Buster," said Cora. "He's really nice deep down."

That afternoon, Sir Handel was going up the line with Gertrude and Millicent again.

"I hope Buster's still there," sighed Sir Handel.

"I'm sure he will be," said Gertrude. "Even a hard worker like Buster wouldn't finish the road this quickly."

"Besides," added Millicent, "his driver's got to have a lunch break in there somewhere."

As Sir Handel pulled into Lakeside, he caught sight of some children playing in the park near the lake; two boys and a girl.

"Last one to that tree over there is that pompous and rude Sir Handel!" cried one of the boys as he raced off. Unfortunately, the dark blue tank engine overheard that.

"Don't tell me he's got his hands on that bogus story too…" he sighed. "I wasn't anywhere near as bad as that book suggested!"

"Come on, Falcon," said Gertrude. "Just ignore that child and let's see where Buster is."

Sir Handel steeled himself and looked around, trying to find a red steamroller. "Surely he can't be that hard to find…" He then broke off when he saw that the children were heading towards a sharp rock near the tree. "Kids!" he whistled suddenly. "STOP!"

"Huh?" cried the little girl. "Whoa! Boys, look!"

"What do you mea… Oh my!" cried the second boy. "Where'd that rock come from?"

"Goodness!" exclaimed the first boy; he skidded to a stop moments before he could hurt himself on the rock. "How did I miss that?!"

"We could've gotten hurt if we hadn't heard a warning," agreed the girl. "But who was it that warned us?"

Just then, Buster came over on the road next to the station. "Is everything alright, kids?" he asked with concern.

"We were heading for that sharp rock!" said the first boy. "And… a whistle saved us."

"It couldn't have been mine," said Buster. "I was somewhere else when I heard it."

"Well, look at the engine on the tracks," giggled Millicent. Buster and the three children looked over towards Sir Handel; one of the kids had an especially shocked expression on his face.

"Y-you?!" stammered the first little boy.

"Yep, name's Sir Handel; don't wear it out," he said matter of factly.

"I… th-the book," he stuttered. "I thought you'd…"

"Don't judge a book by the cover," said Sir Handel. "There's a lot of things the Thin Clergyman didn't write about us. Some things were excluded from the books to… shall we say, tone things down for publication. Although, in that process, a lot of context was lost."

"Oh… Sir Handel, I…" the first boy sighed. "I'm… I'm so sorry I misjudged you."

"Yeah," added the second boy. "You really thought quickly."

"The Thin Clergyman must've left out some details in his research," said the little girl. "I bet you're really amazing, Sir Handel."

Sir Handel blushed. "Th-thanks," he turned to Buster. "Buster… I… I am so sorry for what I said to you earlier. I guess… I judged you for your cover too, all because of my bad experiences with George."

"Hey, it's alright," smiled Buster. "Water under the bridge."

"Besides," said Buster's driver, "you saved my son a trip to the hospital. I'd say that is worthy of forgiveness."

"One of those boys is your son?!" gasped Sir Handel.

The first boy nodded. "Yes. And I definitely have a new outlook on you now. Thank you, Sir Handel."

"My mom has the book Gallant Little Engines, which covered that story of your race with George," said the little girl. "Er… I don't suppose there's events that are inaccurate there too?"

"Well," Sir Handel said, "what if I told you that the reason I went after George was because he tried attacking my Granpuff and my little brother at the same time?"

"What?!" gasped the little girl. "The book showed you getting cocky and then Skarloey set you up to go after George. What actually happened… you're really noble, Sir Handel."

"Tell us everything, please!" said the second boy.

The children settled down, and Sir Handel launched into the details about his story, happy that some children were able to see him for who he truly was. Buster was happy too, as he and Sir Handel both learned something valuable that day.

Meanwhile, in his study, the Thin Clergyman was responding to some letters concerning Sir Handel's portrayal in the books. He was rather taken aback by what they had to say, wondering how he would respond to them. There had been questions in the past that he'd been able to answer like Henry mistakenly being drawn with Gordon's buffers - although that was an error on the part of a previous illustrator - but this was a question that, no matter what answer he came up with, there would be readers left unsatisfied.

But then, a reason seemed to click in his mind.

"The reason for Sir Handel acting more grumpy than he usually was is because he is missing someone near and dear to him… but I can't tell you too much, or I shall spoil one of my future books…"

Of course, that didn't satisfy everyone, but they hoped that when the book in question did come out, there would be a more positive turnaround. But I'd spoil another story if I say anymore…

THE END

Author's Comments

Capping off the top five picks for a poll is a story focusing on the most unlikely of duos. An episode featuring the Skarloey Railway and the Pack together would've been incredibly unlikely in the model era due to expenses (sure, they both appeared in The Great Discovery, but never in the same scene), but in CGI, anything would've been possible. Sir Handel and Buster seemed like just the right pair to clash given the former's history with a troublesome steamroller in George, and Buster is the complete antithesis. In addition, this story also establishes the Seventyverse's equivalent to the Railway Series, along with how some characters react to how they differ from reality; Sir Handel is among those who's appalled at how he's portrayed without any nuance to his character, and that, I believe, is only the tip of the iceberg. There's also a few hints at things to come for the rest of Series 6-7 Redux; keep an eye out for those!

More stories to come!