Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Avatar the Last Airbender.
A/N: hello all, I hope this chapter makes up for my absence! Enjoy Opame's journey.
Ceba bounced on the balls of his feet, looking between Opame and Aang and the open air in front of them. Opame met his gaze when he looked at her and tried to smile but she could feel that it was forced.
Aang smiled at the both of them, his staff held tight in his hand. "I think you're both ready."
It had been about two weeks since they had arrived at the Western Air Temple, since Aang and Zuko's trip to the Sun Warrior Temple. Over that course of time, Zuko and Aang had been working very hard on Aang's Firebending and, when he had time, Aang worked with the siblings on their Airbending.
That part had been fine. Opame had learned techniques and stances that she wouldn't have been able to find in any of their scrolls. Aang praised their knowledge and skill. But still . . . .
Ceba was surpassing her.
Aang never said anything, he was really good at acknowledging both of their accomplishments. But Opame saw it, felt it in the confused glances she sometimes caught him sending her way. She was phenomenal at the Air Gates but she thought that didn't take as much skill as the Air Scooter or an air sphere or even a hurricane. While she could pick up the movement, the steps easily enough, she just didn't seem to be as strong as her little brother.
Now, Aang wanted them to fly.
"We will practice using your staff as an extension of your bending later," Aang explained, "but I thought you both deserved some fun."
Out in the air, Teo cried out in joy as he swooped by them, his new glider attached to his chair. The others were of course watching as well; Opame really wished they didn't have to do that. Zuko was off training himself though like normal. He felt watching other people train was a waste of time.
If anything, Ceba's bouncing increased in his excitement. "What do we do? What do we do?"
"You'll have to bend the air currents around you as you move, but that does take practice. For now, you can just practice gliding, like Teo is doing."
Ceba approached the ledge, looking over. "Do I just jump?"
"Sometimes, a running start helps!"
Nodding, Ceba hopped back about ten feet, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth. "Running start."
The little boy ran forward, his steps sure as he neared the edge. Opame's heart jumped into her throat as she let her brother jump over the edge of the cliff, disappearing out of sight.
"YAAYYYYYYY!" Ceba cried out as he spun back into their line of sight. He did a loop and glided through the air. "THIS IS AMAZING!"
Their friends cheered for him, applauding as he flew. Aang's grin widened. "Quick learner! Your turn!" he said, turning to Opame.
She hadn't expanded the wings of her glider yet, gripping the staff in front of her. Her eyes felt wide as she turned to look at Aang, shaking her head. "I can't."
"It's fine! I'll be right here if you get nervous."
"I can't."
"Like I said, a running start helps. And, you don't have to worry about bending just yet, you can just –"
"I can't, okay?" she said, raising her voice louder than she meant too. Aang jerked back startled and Opame flinched. It wasn't like her to yell. She didn't even do that with Ceba. "I'm sorry. I just – I hear what you're saying but I don't think I can. I see them out there, I know it's possible but my body won't let me take that leap. I'm – I know I'll fall."
She handed her staff to Aang who took it hesitantly. She crossed her arms at her stomach, clenching the sides of her top as if she was trying to hold herself together. Aang titled his head, watching her. "You're Anchored."
"I'm – what?"
"Anchored. It's a phrase we used to use. Something heavy, mentally, is keeping you from getting off the ground. That may explain why – well, you know," he added sheepishly. "You're a good Bender, Opame. You have a lot of talent and I can tell that you've put in the work. But, until you let whatever is in your heart go, it's going to be hard for you to Airbend."
He made it sound so easy. Let it go, move forward. . . . But he had no clue what she had been through, he had no clue how hard her life had been. For a terrifying moment, Opame felt the anger that always seemed to be reserved to the Royal Family rear up, ready to lash out at Aang.
How dare he?
It was his fault.
He had run!
He had left them all to die!
He had –
Opame took a breath. "I'm going to take a break."
Aang nodded and she spun on her heel, hurrying away from the cliff and the others, who were also watching her, confusion across their faces. She ducked her head and ran away.
Farther down, as far as she could get from the others, Opame sat on the edge of the cliff, kicking her legs. It felt so fresh up here, so freeing. She and Ceba had finally made it home . . . And she felt so lost. In the far distance, she could see Aang, her brother, and Teo still flying around, no cares in the world.
A pebble scuttled off the edge of the cliff and Opame looked up as Zuko sat down next to her. He met her gaze for a moment before looking off into the distance, across the chasm towards the trees. She returned her gaze in that direction as well, twisting her fingers in her lap. Part of her felt ashamed, him finding her like this, sulking. Part of her was glad for his company.
Part of her was always glad for his company.
"I gave Aang the day off from training so that he could train you and Ceba,' Zuko started. 'But here you are. Do I have to make Aang do flame laps for thirty minutes?"
"He's still training Ceba,' Opame explained, nodding her head in that direction. 'I – I needed a break."
"I see."
The two of them lapsed into the silence again and she knew he was waiting for her to elaborate further. After another moment, she sighed. "I was feeling discouraged. . . . It's been two weeks and I can't seem to grasp . . . whatever it is that Ceba has. He picks up concepts so easily and meanwhile I feel like . . Like I can't accomplish anything."
"Azula was like that. I always felt so far behind her, even though she was my younger sister."
Opame nodded. "And today, we were supposed to fly and I just – I froze. I was so afraid. Aang says there's something anchoring me to the ground, something that I can't seem to let go of."
"What do you think it is?'' Zuko asked her.
Opame lifted her hand to her chest, wrapping her fingers in the soft fabric of her garments. Orange and yellow, lightweight fabrics, perfect for air benders. "I've waited my whole life for this. I've hid this side of me away for 18 years. . . . Maybe – maybe it's too late for me. Maybe I'm too angry and bitter to ever truly be an Airbender."
"You've never seemed angry and bitter to me," Zuko responded.
A wry smile came to her face. "I hide it well. . . . But, it's fighting against me now."
Opame pulled her knees to her chest, clenching her fists. "Zuko, I'm so angry all the time. I'm angry with my mom for passing on this – legacy. I'm angry at Ceba for not having to deal with the burden. I'm angry with your family for destroying everything. I'm angry at Aang for running away. I'm furious."
She bit her lip, forcing herself to stop the torrent of words ready to fall out of her mouth. She had never confessed any of that to anyone before. She was almost afraid to look at Zuko, to see the disappointment on his face.
Zuko didn't respond. After a moment he stood and held out his hand to her. She met his eyes finally, surprised to find sympathy there. Hesitantly she took his hand, letting him walk her away from the ledge, mentally and physically. She tried to focus on the path he walked, rather than his warm hand wrapped around hers . . . Strong fingers, sure grip, holding her firmly as he quickly walked in the direction of the Echo Chamber. This seemed to be becoming a normal occurrence, him taking her hand to guide her, help her.
She found she didn't mind.
Since everyone was out watching Aang and Ceba trained, the Echo Chamber was empty. She was glad for it; she didn't really want to see anyone after her outburst.
"What are we doing?'' Opame asked quietly to avoid an echo, missing Zuko's hand when he let go.
Rather than answer, Zuko leaned back his head and yelled. His wordless cry bounced around the walls, loud and strong. Opame threw her hands over her ears until the sound dissipated, frowning at the boy across from her. "What was –"
"I think you have every right to be angry,' Zuko interrupted her, whispering. "You lost a lot. You gave up a lot. It's okay for you to feel a little betrayed and, honestly, I'm surprised you're not even angrier. . . . But, Opame, you did it. You took care of your brother and the two of you are safe. You're stronger than you realize. . . . And maybe it's time you let go of some of your anger. I thought yelling might help."
His words touched her heart, but she still frowned at that last part. "Why is that?"
Zuko huffed, looking away with a slight blush. "Because one time when I was really angry, I stood on a cliff and yelled at the lightning. I seemed to feel better the next day."
A slight smirk came to Opame's face. "So, you have always been dramatic."
"Shut up. Give it a try."
Opame gave him a skeptical look which Zuko met with a stubborn gaze. Rolling her eyes, she tilted her head back, sucked in a deep breath and screamed. Her voice echoed off the walls of the walls of the chamber, circling around her, filling the space. She yelled again and this time, she could have sworn it wasn't just her voice. It sounded as if a thousand voices screamed alongside her own. That searing anger gripped her heart as she screamed again and again and again, and she felt more pain, more loss, more suffering.
She was the thousands of Airbenders lost. She was the Sisters and the Monks. She was the Sky Bison and the other creatures of the air. She was the children.
They had all died.
Their homes, their families, their lives had been destroyed.
The Fire Nation took everything away from them.
Aang did nothing to stop them.
Why them? Why did this happen? Why why why why why?
It wasn't fair.
Her next scream petered off into a sob.
"Opame?"
She wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to stifle her cries as she doubled over. There was a pressure bearing down on her, a weight that was too heavy. "It's too much," she whispered.
"Opame." Zuko sounded so concerned, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Let it go, my love," another voice said near her ear. She knew this voice, from nighttime stories, soft admonishments, loving praises.
Momma.
"You've carried it long enough," her mother whispered. "Let it go."
Opame took another breath in and then she let herself do something she hadn't done in a very long time.
She sobbed.
She sobbed and sobbed, feeling it through her entire being. Hands gripped her arms by the elbows as she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She reached forward, gripping onto Zuko's shirt as she pressed her face to his chest. Hesitant arms wrapped around her, one hand pressed to the back of her head, threading into her hair.
Again, her sobs echoed around her, filling the room. Voices that weren't hers sobbed with her, the pain tangible. Men, women, children. They all cried, the hurt, the despair flowing from her. Someone wrapped their arms around her middle, pressing their forehead to her right shoulder blade. Another hand gently rested on her other shoulder.
She continued to sob, her throat growing sore, her body growing weary. How many tears were there left for her to cry? It felt never ending.
Another, gentle hand rested on top of her head, a kiss pressed to hair just above her ear as a voice whispered, "Thank you."
Opame took a couple of gasping breaths as her sobs quieted, turned into whimpers and then sniffles. The tears still dripped from her eyes but she was able to breathe normally again.
Slowly, she sat back on her knees, taking a deep breath. "Oh."
Zuko, who had let his hands slide back down to her elbows, was watching her with no small amount of concern. The hand on her shoulder was connected to Aang, his gray eyes wide.
The little body on her back detached itself from her middle, moving around next to Zuko. "Opame, are you okay?" Ceba asked.
She looked past him, to the mouth of the echo chamber. All of their new friends stood there, looking worried, as if they shouldn't enter. She supposed they must have heard her crying.
She met Ceba's eyes again, raising a hand to his cheek. He had been crying too, but she knew it wasn't his voice that she had heard or his kiss that she felt.
Opame gave him a soft smile. "I'm fine now. I'm sorry for worrying you all."
She moved to stand, Zuko helping her to her feet. The Prince looked lost for words as he watched her warily, as if she may break. She turned her smile on him. It centered her, just for a moment, his familiar, warm campfire scent. This man who should have hated her, a man she should have hated, this man whose family warred against hers all those years ago, holding her as she had weeped. "Thank you."
And then her body gave in to the exhaustion she felt.