by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)
fanfic at http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online
PG-13, S/J, part 2/6
THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD II
The Road to Hell
He was shutting down again. Daniel stared pensively at Jack from across the briefing room, and frowned. It was like watching time slide slowly backward. As every day passed with still no word of Sam, the Colonel moved a little closer to the person he had been when Daniel had first met him, the man still grieving over his son's death, hating the world and everyone around him. But most of all, hating himself...
He blamed himself, Daniel knew. Despite what everyone told him, despite all logic, Jack blamed himself. While his team was being ambushed and Sam shot, captured -- and perhaps killed -- Jack had been on Edora. Having dinner. He hadn't been there when she had needed them. He had let them -- her -- down.
It wasn't true, of course. Daniel had been there. The archaeologist knew that there was nothing Jack could have done, nothing anyone could have done to change the series of events that had taken place on PX3-1142. But Jack refused to accept that and every day another piece of the person he had become over the last three years broke away and vanished. Unless they found Sam soon, Daniel thought unhappily, there would be nothing of Jack O'Neill left to save.
She had been missing for three weeks, one day, and thirteen hours now. Daniel had only been conscious for two of those weeks. Whatever new weapon the Goa'uld were using, its effect on human physiology was devastating. He had awakened in the infirmary to Doctor Frasier's relieved gaze, with the mother of all headaches and an arm that still hadn't fully recovered from the damage that had been inflicted upon it. He had been limping around the SGC, his right arm in a sling for almost two weeks now, trying to help, trying to keep Jack sane. And failing to do either.
She wasn't dead. That was all the Colonel would say on the subject. Despite the fact that they had found no sign of Sam on PX3-1142, nor on any of the other planets they had searched; despite the fact that the Tollans, the Tok'ra, and the entire resources of the SGC had failed entirely to find even a trace of her, Jack still refused to accept that she was truly gone. It was probably all he had left to cling to, Daniel thought. If the Colonel admitted to the possibility that Sam was dead, even to himself, even once... Daniel shook his head slightly. He didn't know what would happen to him then. But it wouldn't be good.
They all missed her. Daniel himself had spent far too many hours
wondering what might have happened if he hadn't been shot, if Teal'c had
been free to help Sam instead of dragging him to safety. If only...
But no. That didn't help. He had to focus on the present, not
on "what ifs". The past was dead and gone. Nothing could change
the past.
Daniel sighed gloomily and looked down at the table. This briefing
had been just like all the others. Nothing. No sign of her.
No leads. Just...nothing. The galaxy was far too big, and she
was just one woman... Every time they met, Daniel wondered if this
might be the day that General Hammond finally called an end to the search,
finally declared Major Carter gone for good and forced them all to move
on. But each time, he didn't. Part of Daniel wondered why.
It was hopeless. The odds of finding her were astronomical, no pun
intended. And by now... What were the chances of her still
being alive, a prisoner of the Goa'uld all this time? No. It
made no sense to continue the search.
Then again, maybe it did. One glance at Jack, at all the concerned faces around the table, told Daniel all he needed to know. They were part of a brotherhood and a mindset that Daniel had could never fully share. Yet, even though he might never really understand the military mind, he still recognized the force that was driving them. Sam was one of them. She was family and she had been taken from them. They wouldn't abandon her. Not yet.
But soon. Someday soon, they would have to give up. Surrender. Daniel's eyes wandered back to Jack, sitting a little too still across from him, his gaze a little too focused on the General, and a faint shudder went through him. That would be a bad day, the archaeologist thought.
* * *
When the attack came, it wasn't really a surprise. Everyone had admitted to the possibility, at least to themselves, had known that their defences could be compromised. Compromised. What a horrible euphemism for the word that no one would say. Precautions had been taken. Every computer code had been changed, the entire base had been on standby alert for the last three weeks, and a terrible sense of waiting had descended on them all. But no one would speak of it. No one would say what they had all thought at one time or another, as if by not saying it they could make it not true.
The Goa'uld attack on the Stargate and the SGC was fast, bloody...and over quickly. The aliens made mistakes. Elementary mistakes, mistakes that allowed the humans to fight them off and send them retreating back through the still-smoking Stargate.
Not that it was easy, mind you. Daniel's head was still reeling from where it had impacted violently with a steel wall. Of course, that had been mostly due to Teal'c, flinging him to one side to avoid a blast from one of the enemy Jaffa, but it still hurt. Friendly fire was no less lethal, in his mind. His ears ringing, Daniel picked himself up dizzily, reached for the gun that had fallen when he did, and set out towards the Gate Room and the distant sounds of fighting in a stumbling run.
It took longer than it should have. Daniel's vision kept blurring and his legs kept wanting to buckle beneath him, but he made it at last, coming to a gasping halt to lean against a nearby wall while he tried to focus his vision and maintain his grip on the gun with his right hand.
Not that it mattered. The battle was already over. The last of the Goa'uld were fleeing up the ramp and through the Stargate. Apophis turned, surveying the humans, an expression of fury on his ruined face, then he too plunged into the wormhole. Silence briefly descended and the only movement was the wreaths of smoke coiling through the Gate Room.
Then: "Shut it down! Get that Iris working again! And somebody put those fires out!" General Hammond's command cut through the silence like a blade, spurring everyone back into action. Daniel was turning wearily, gathering what was left of his energy, when a shout made him look back toward the Gate. Something was coming through it, emerging only an instant before the wormhole shut down, landing heavily as if it had been thrown. Two dozen soldiers turned as one, aiming their weapons at... At the...
Daniel went cold and he reached out a hand to the wall again to keep from falling. The sounds around him were beginning to fade and he could hear only the uneven pounding of his own heartbeat. His legs were moving, he noted distantly, as if of their own accord, carrying him forward, toward...toward... Someone -- Jack -- brushed savagely by him.
Oh god. It was Sam. Bloody, battered, and...not moving. Daniel came to a horrified stop a few paces away, unable to go any farther. No one else had stirred. It was as if time itself had stopped.
Jack crashed to his knees beside her, reaching out a shaking hand to check for a pulse. After a long moment he pulled his fingers away, his arm dropping limply to his side.
Something deep inside Daniel began screaming. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. She wasn't supposed to die. Not Sam. Not...
His vision had blurred again and he automatically reached up his good arm to rub at his eyes. The back of his hand came away wet and he blinked at it in confusion. Oh. Tears.
With an effort he looked back at the man kneeling before him. Jack's shoulders were shaking. Was he crying too? With almost the last of his strength, Daniel took the final few steps toward the Colonel and reached out a hand.
Daniel's fingers were still centimetres away when Jack whirled, hitting his hand away violently and hurtling back to his feet. For an instant the two men's eyes met...and the chill the archaeologist had felt earlier became a hundred...no, a thousand times colder.
There was no one left behind Jack O'Neill's eyes. Only hatred and fury were staring back at him. The man Daniel had known for the past three years was gone. Completely and irrevocably. For an eternity neither one moved, and then O'Neill stalked past him, looking at no one and saying nothing. In complete silence, he left the Gate Room, oblivious to the many eyes upon him.
Daniel did not watch him go. Instead he swallowed and looked back down at the motionless form at his feet. The tears were beginning to swell again in his eyes. Samantha Carter was dead...and from what he had just seen, she had taken Jack O'Neill with her...
END OF PART TWO