A Hero's Sacrifice
DevoidJK
A/N: Scenes and dialogue may be graphic or violent, including references to sexual and child abuse, violence, and death. Please read with caution. None of the views presented are necessarily the view of the author.
Part 2: Contracted
Shirou didn't know how long it took for him to get back on his feet. Time had no meaning to him anymore. The gaps in his memories made minutes seem like hours. His eyes fluttered, straddling the line between painful consciousness and blissful death. His arms felt like lead weights, dragging him down into the dark ocean of sleep.
But despite his fatigue, Shirou haltingly hauled himself to his feet, almost tripping on the rubble surrounding him. He stumbled to his feet, his head spinning. His vision was blurry, and he blinked in order to clear his vision. His whole body felt like it had been run over by Berserker and flattened by the slab of rock he used as a sword. Shirou couldn't feel anything below his right shoulder, save for the grinding noise of swords growing from his bones. He tried to pick up his arm, but the shriek of metal grinding and twisting made his headache pound. Vaguely, Shirou felt the sour sting of acid rise in his throat. He coughed, and his chest groaned in protest as he felt the sharp pain of broken ribs fusing together like pieces of scrap metal. A burning sensation ran up and down his magic circuits, lighting his left arm up in neon green. He watched as the lines in his arms flickered like an unreliable fluorescent bulb, a sure sign that his energy reserves were running dry. Stumbling over a loose stone, he fell to one knee, hissing as scales of metal sprouted from his skin.
He glanced over to where the cratered stone floor was dyed in lines of crimson red and purple. Saber's body had already evaporated into golden motes of mana, having returned to the hill of swords. Only Excalibur remained, lying where Saber had dropped it when bracing her fall. He marveled as the black ooze crumbled off of it, melting away like snow in the spring sunlight. Even lacking his memories, he recognized the beauty of the blade, as pure and golden as the summer sun when the girl in a sky-blue dress chose to become king. As Shirou stumbled over to where Saber had been moments before, the last remnants of her sword burst into a shower of golden sparks with a crack, like a warm bonfire burning through the dark.
Maybe, even if it's corrupted, tainted by sacrifice and sorrow, my dream is worth chasing.
Dimly, Shirou reached out a hand, watching as the glow twinkled in the air like fireflies. He caught a handful of the light, marveling as its warmth seemed to seep into his hands and numb the shooting pain in his arms. Even in the damp, dark cold, the goosebumps on his skin began to recede. He hugged the sensation close to his chest, and for a moment he felt neither pain, nor cold, nor loss, nor fear.
Shirou knew he was cheating death with every heartbeat, but he greedily drank in the light regardless, marveling at how it calmed his nerves and steeled his resolve. The grimace of pain and weariness on his face began to melt away. His shattered brain no longer understood the meaning of "hope", but the dream that he had sworn to carry, that Sakura could be freed from her pain and sorrow, seemed just within reach. Her impossible future was just one step away.
All he had to do was keep fighting.
Bending down without a tinge of pain, Shirou picked up the iridescent dagger at his feet and began to limp down the hallway leading deeper into the mountain. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, unconscious of his surroundings. Even as his feet kept moving, his mind drifted far away.
Rin gaped in wonder as she descended into the cavern where the Greater Grail rested. For a moment, she forgot she was underground. Even craning her neck backwards to get a better view, she couldn't tell how high the ceiling extended into the darkness. The cave seemed to stretch on for kilometers in a massive circle. On the central platform, a black flame boiled like the shadow of an eclipsed sun. But despite the grandeur of her surroundings, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the monolith in the center of the cave.
"So this is the Greater Grail…"
The massive slab of dark stone which housed the Greater Grail towered high above, on a platform in the middle of the cave. The mana in the air swirled in a viscous blue spiral around it, and the pure energy in the basin glowed, shading the whole cavern in shades of red, pink, and purple. Even from a distance, Rin could feel the circuits in her body lighting up from her proximity to such a concentrated source of mana.
Like a beating heart, the black flame pulsed, and a wave of energy washed over her like a powerful gust of wind. Rin could almost taste the bitter ash of its burning hatred. Her lips pursed into a scowl. The Jeweled Sword in Rin's coat suddenly seemed pathetic when confronted with the veritable ocean of pure energy in front of her.
"Angra Mainyu. All the evils of this world." How are we supposed to dismantle this? This is more mana than the Clock Tower could use in decades, maybe even centuries.
"With this much mana, any wish you longed for could come true. As long as it didn't kill you first, I suppose." Even as she absentmindedly spoke to the empty air and walked forward casually, her eyes darted around, searching for any signs of Assassin and Zouken.
But not a single shadow stirred. With every step she took, the frown on Rin's face deepened. Zouken shouldn't let me get this close to the altar. He had plenty of chances to ambush me as I entered the cave. Even an Assassin wouldn't be able to hide in the glow of the Grail, so why—?
If someone had looked closely at Rin's face, they might have noticed how her jaw clenched ever so slightly as she came to a startling conclusion. She didn't want to believe it. But there was no other explanation.
She's killed them, hasn't she?
Sakura's cold giggle, devoid of sanity or empathy, drifted through the wind, sending a chill down Rin's spine. Rin whipped her head around, looking for the source of the mocking laugh, which had steadily grown in volume until it seemed to echo around the entire chamber.
"I'm glad, nee-san. You came back to me instead of running away."
A mass of black and red tendrils began to condense between Rin and the altar, forming a cocoon for the tainted butterfly within. Rin realized with growing dread that the shadow had only grown since that morning. Ribbons of darkness clung to the walls and the platform of the Greater Grail like poisonous, blackened ivy.
The coil of black ribbons on the platform exploded silently, revealing the distorted form of Sakura Matou inside.
Rin opened her mouth to speak, but for once no witty retort came to her lips.
Sakura had been transfigured even more severely than before. Her hair had been entirely bleached white, and webs of red corruption emanated from the tendrils that formed her dress, weaving across her face and limbs. But most starkly of all, the leering grin on her face stabbed Rin's heart in a way her magecraft never had.
Had she neglected Sakura so much that the embodiment of all evil brought her joy? Was her sister happier being the host of Angra Mainyu than being herself? In fact, what was her true personality? Rin's heart dropped into her stomach as she realized that the girl she had once called her sister might already have disappeared.
Rin resisted the temptation to immediately draw the Jeweled Sword. Looking at Sakura, she couldn't even gauge the seemingly-infinite depth of her mana reserves.
"Crap. This sword better live up to your promises, Shirou."
The cavern rumbled as the unborn god stirred momentarily, shaking boulders and rocks tumbling down into the pools of magma below. The very earth around them seemed to tremble in fear of the power contained within the Greater Grail's embryo.
"Tch. If Kirei were here, he'd call it one of God's blessings." More like a pain in my ass.
Sakura cocked her head, a triumphant smile plastered across her face. "What's wrong? Are you shaking, s̴i̴st̷e̷r̷? Don't tell me you've already lost your nerve. I always knew your look of bravado was just a sham."
Rin batted away the insult with a scoff. "Where's old Zouken? You're a coward, so shouldn't you be hiding behind his back right now?"
Sakura bit her lip and closed her eyes, as if remembering a delicious meal she had recently eaten. She let out a satisfied sigh, almost giggling to herself in the process. "Grandfather and Assassin were bothering me, so I squashed them like the insects they were." The palpable pleasure in Sakura's saccharine voice caused the crease in Rin's brow to deepen.
"So, you're free at last. If Zouken Matou is dead, then you're no longer bound by his wishes. There's nothing to be afraid of, now that you've killed him, is there?"
"Not yet. I can't stop, even after killing ojii-sama. Even with this power, there are still two things that bind me."
Sakura's crimson eyes flashed, and for a split second, Rin stared into the soul of her sister. She saw nothing but loathing despite the smile on her sister's face.
"Even as insignificant as you are, nee-san, you won't stop torturing me inside my head. So, as long as you live, I can't be free." Even as she revealed her murderous intent, Sakura's voice remaining lilting, as if she was singing a song, yet her words cut like knives. Yet, despite the twisted hatred emanating from Sakura, the grin on her face had only grown wider.
Rin's eyes narrowed. "Even so, you seem happy enough. If you killed Zouken and Assassin, I can assume you killed Kirei as well." At least one good thing came from this. Getting killed by the incarnation of the world's evils? More than he deserves, honestly. "For someone who used to shy away from the sight of blood, you seem quite acquainted with murder now. Are you proud?"
Sakura laughed, as if Rin had said something truly absurd. Rin gave her an icy glare, and Sakura only doubled over, cackling all the while. Even after she caught her breath, she could not help giggling as she responded.
"What's the difference between killing someone and consuming them? Isn't it normal to want to have fun? And don't people need to eat and drink to survive? I'm no different. I'm the same as all of you. I'm just taking care of myself."
Rin scoffed and rolled her eyes out of force of habit. "Do you really believe your twisted logic? You're being ridiculous right now."
For a moment, the smile on Sakura's face morphed into a snarl of rage before she quickly restored her mask of amused disdain. "I'm not wrong. You are. It's different because—because I'm strong now. I'm strong, so it doesn't matter. Everything is forgiven if you're strong."
Rin's brow furrowed as Sakura continued to rant, as if she was trying to reinforce her own deluded convictions: "…Yes, yes, y҉e̡s̵. I'm not wrong. If I'm strong enough, no one can beat me. No one can say that I was wrong. If I'm not weak, I'm not responsible for what happens. It's just the nature of—of things."
Sakura's chest heaved with anger, and her melodic voice had turned into a grating growl.
"Do you understand, nee-san? I'm going to become strong. Strong enough that no one can defeat me. And then I can kill as much as I want. It's just natural."
Rin shook her head. Clearly, their childhood bond no longer mattered to Sakura. "But what about Shirou? He still believes you can be saved. If you're going to take your anger out on everyone, are you going to kill him too?"
There! It was slight, and she disguised it well from years of practice, but Sakura could not hide the subtle flinch in her posture as her back stiffened reflexively. Rin's eyes narrowed and a chill ran up her spine as Sakura seemed to draw a deep breath in and rearrange her features back into a serene smile, her mask of false tranquility masking the all-consuming madness within.
"Yes. Senpai is no exception. Actually—he's the one I want to kill most."
Rin's hand closed around the hilt of the Jeweled Sword. The knuckles on her hand were white with strain.
"…Yes. I just—want to quickly devour senpai too."
Rin's eyes closed for a moment until the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes receded, though the lump in her throat stayed stubbornly stuck despite her best efforts. Only by forcing the icy edge of a decade of isolation into her voice did she manage to force out her next question. "Then what about Angra Mainyu? You let yourself be consumed by it, and you've long since stopped being human."
The edges of Sakura's mouth curled upwards in a self-satisfied smirk. "Please, there's no need to lie to ourselves. You're just jealous of me and my power. That's the only reason you'd try and come kill me, even though you can't. All you'd do is take it away so you can keep any happiness for yourself."
The red veins lining Sakura's face glowed as she raised her arms and a wind blew through the cavern. Rin felt every shadow in the cavern begin to take shape and form as they rose up to cast her into darkness. The shadow familiars that had led her to the Greater Grail grew until they blotted out everything except the eerie red glow emanating from Sakura's frame.
"This power… is mine alone. The only things I'll give you are regret and despair. After all, nee-san, I learned from you."
Four of the shadow giants, each embedded with the power of a Noble Phantasm, descended on Rin as she finally drew her blade.
Rin's reinforced ears caught Sakura's final self-satisfied whisper: "No one will come to help you this time, just as no one did for me. You will have the honor of drowning in the Grail of Heaven, like a bug dropped in a lake."
The shadows began to move. Though she had stood in the blinding light of the Grail moments ago, a wave of darkness, blacker than night, descended upon Rin Tohsaka.
The Second Magic cut a fissure in reality as Rin drew a circle in the air. The prismatic light drew an endless fractal, opening windows to an infinite sea of alternate dimensions. But her mind could not resist asking the one question that she had never dared to voice:
"Was there another path? If I had changed things sooner… would it still end up this way?"
The kaleidoscope of universes shifted as a scene from the interdimensional tapestry came into focus.
The girl lay in the grass beneath the blooming cherry tree, cradling a handful of fallen flower blossoms to her chest. Her shoes lay in the grass by her side, and she smiled lazily as she felt the grass tickle the soles of her feet. The tresses of her long brown hair swept down to the small of her back, and half-lidded sapphire eyes glittered as the sunlight filtered through the branches and flowers. An ever-shifting pattern of shadows and light played across the grass.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pendant, which glittered like a crimson ruby in the afternoon sun.
"I wonder how you're doing, Nee-san."
The scene shifted as another lens of the kaleidoscope flickered into focus.
The young girl walked down the steps, careful not to slip and fall. Even from a distance, it was apparent that her jaw was clenched and her legs were shaking. The man at the top of the steps pressed a switch, causing the ancient incandescent lightbulb suspended high above the basement floor to flicker on. The girl continued down the steps as tears began to leak from her eyes, which were now squeezed intently shut.
The girl approached the floor, and slowly began to remove her clothes. Her shoes, dusty purple dress, and underwear were placed in a neat pile at the foot of the stairs before she untied the twin ribbons in her hair. With a calmness eerily unnatural to a 7 year old girl, she approached the lone platform in the center of the room. She laid down on the barren, cold stone and tried to keep her limbs still as a sea of crest worms began to crawl over every surface of the room and envelop her body in a cruel, torturous embrace. The last glimpse of her face before the light flickered out showed only her dilated aquamarine eyes and gaping mouth, frozen in a silent scream.
Beads of tears began to leak from the corner of Rin's eyes. The light flickered and morphed again.
The car began to drive away, as the first raindrops of the summer afternoon storm fell. The little girl tugged on her mother's sleeve. Naive, innocent eyes met a pair of empty ones.
"Mommy, where is she going?"
"She's… going to live with the Matou family now."
Though the rain only began to intensify, Aoi's umbrella hung loosely at her side.
"Why did she have to go?"
"Your father had an… agreement with their family."
"Will she ever come back?"
"I don't think so. I'm sorry."
The little girl closed her eyes as she got in the car with Byakuya Matou. She didn't say a word as he drove a practiced route through Fuyuki to a large manor, before shutting off the engine and jerking his head at the front door, where a decrepit old man stood.
As she got out of the car, slinging a small bag containing her few remaining possessions over her shoulder, the old man raked his eyes up and down her body, before finally flashing her a cold, predatory smile.
"Welcome home, Tohsaka… Rin."
The light dissolved as the images bled into the Jeweled Sword, causing it to emit a golden glow within the dome of darkness surrounding Rin.
Under her breath, she whispered: "I'm sorry, Sakura. To make up for all those times I failed to understand you, please, just once, lend me your strength."
The shadow enveloped her in the darkest of nights—
"Es lässt frei. Werkzeug—!"
—and a jet of prismatic light cut through the shadow like the breaking dawn.
Despite reinforcing her strength to levels beyond even those of world-class athletes, Rin's entire body burned with exertion. Her arms felt as if they were falling apart at the seams. She had naively underestimated the amount of recoil the Jeweled Sword could have, especially when using unleashing mana on the scale of a Noble Phantasm with every blow. She had quickly learned to brace her legs when using the sword, lest she be tossed away by the force of her own strikes.
And worst of all, there was no end to the massive shadow giants threatening to crush her with a single blow. Every time she struck one down, another would unfurl itself from the dark corners where the Grail's light could not reach.
I have to get to Sakura before she deduces how much strain this puts on my body. I can't get a clear shot at her without one of her giants flattening me in the process, so I'll need to get closer and do it with my own two hands.
She waited as two more shadows lined up before planting her feet and swinging her blade. "Gebühr, Zweihänder!" She winced as the muscles in her arm tore with the strain and her feet dug grooves into the floor. But even before the swirling blast of prana had faded into the air, she had already begun running up towards the altar, ignoring the screaming pain in her arms and legs.
Sakura watched in disbelief as Rin began to advance towards the foot of the altar, seemingly unfazed by the overwhelming magical energy leveled against her.
"H-How…? You shouldn't be able to strike down even a single one of my shadows… it's impossible!" The words tumbled out of her mouth as her voice wavered between incomprehension, terror, and unbridled fury. The shadow looming over Rin exploded into smaller fragments as Sakura screamed with rage.
"WHY?! WHY W̷O̴N̴'̴T Y̷̓Ô̴U̸̔ J̶̙̄̾Ú̸ͅS̶͘̕T D̷̂ͅIȆ̴?!"
Rin spun on her heels, wincing at the mounting pain in her legs, as she realized that several of the miniature shadows now surrounded her.
The Jeweled Sword is powerful enough to destroy all of them at the same time, but if I miss even a single one, I doubt I'm quick enough to charge the sword and swing again. She's catching onto my weaknesses.
The stone floor cracked beneath her feet as she leapt into the air, narrowly dodging several of the incoming shadows' limbs. Twisting in midair, she thrust the Jeweled Sword downwards and shouted: "Es lässt frei. Eilesalve!"
Shards of bedrock flew across the cavern, superheated by the colossal burst of mana until they glowed a deep orange. Sakura flinched as a jagged pebble grazed her cheek, leaving a thin trickle of blood in its wake. And as thick tendrils of mana began to evaporate into the air like clouds of steam, Sakura opened her eyes in horror to see the figure inside carelessly dust off her jacket.
Rin flicked a loose strand of hair over her shoulder and scoffed, pointedly ignoring how Sakura's fists shook with rage. "What a waste of power. You have more mana in your grasp than the entire Magus Association could use in a year, and this is the best you can do? What a waste of my time and energy."
The knot in Sakura's stomach twisted viciously. "How can you stand there and kill my shadows so casually? I'm using thousands of times more mana than you could ever handle, so how…? HOW? T̵̙̉E̵̜̐L̵̩̽L̸̲͑ M̶̼͠Ȇ̵͕!"
Sakura grit her teeth as her sister rolled her eyes and unconsciously crossed her arms, pointing a finger into the air as if giving a lecture to an unruly child.
"You've got it all wrong. Even if you have all the power in the world, how much you can use depends on the caster's output. And since we have the same capacity, I don't need as much energy in store as you. I only need enough mana to destroy one of your shadows, and pull energy from the endless supply parallel worlds and timelines with Magic. So if your supply of energy is inexhaustible, mine is truly infinite."
With a snarl, Sakura sent forth another pair of giant shadows with the flick of her hand, and yet they were mercilessly cut down by the sword's light. And though Sakura tried to maintain her facade of anger, Rin noted how her eyes flicked up towards the ceiling, where a shower of pebbles rained down from the web of cracks that had begun to crawl across the stone ceiling.
If I can't redeem Sakura, or even defeat her, I'll at least bring the mountain down on top of us, and crush Angra Mainyu and the Grail in the process. Not the most honorable thing to do, but my primary goal is making sure this corrupted abomination never sees the light of day. With any luck, she'll come to her senses before then. No matter how much I bluff, there's a limit to my ability to handle this sword.
She cleaved downwards with the sword, wincing as the muscles in her calves tore slightly from her power's backlash. "Sakura! You must understand by now. This isn't a battle you can win. You need to calm down, otherwise this cavern will be destroyed and both of us along with it."
Over the din of battle, Rin caught Sakura's desperate wails: "How is it, even now, that you're still stronger?"
A shadow wrapped around her and compressed downwards, only to be burst open with an explosive burst of light—
"It's unfair…"
—tendrils of darkness that shot towards her sister like a wave of blades bounced off the rainbow-colored, prismatic sword—
"… it's unfair…"
—and the final shadow giant burst into a cloud of darkness with a final thrust of the Jeweled Sword.
"Why, Rin? Why was it always you! I could never win! Yes, I've always been jealous of you! Is that what you've wanted me to admit all along? You've always been better than me!"
The cavern rumbled as the embryonic form of Angra Mainyu stirred in the altar of the Greater Grail, mirroring the volatile emotions radiating from Sakura. Tendrils of darkness crept up the walls of the cave as the shadow expanded.
"You were the one our parents wanted! They always loved you more! And you never had to struggle like I did. That's why I always wanted to defeat you at something, so you could look at me as an equal! So you could recognize me as your sister in some way! But you treated me like a stranger, as if I was beneath your notice!"
Sakura's voice broke, her screams rendering her voice hoarse. "And I was only an object to the Matou! They violated me, over and over and over, with crest worms and worse! I wanted to die every day, and the only reason I didn't was because I believed that my sister would save me one day, that I had to survive until you could free me from the Matou!"
Sakura blinked the tears out of her eyes as her despair turned back into an icy rage, her grating voice sending chills down Rin's nape.
"But you never came for me. You lived a happy life, oblivious to whether or not your own flesh and blood was raped or eaten by those filthy insects! So don't look at me like I'm some sort of demon or monster. I've spent eleven years being turned into something subhuman, with the Makiri magic changing every cell in my body to suit their needs. I should have died, rather than suffer at their hands!"
"I know there's something wrong with me, or maybe I'm crazy, like you all think I am. But this was the only way to make you all stop. Everybody delighted in my suffering for so long that it's only fair if I find my happiness in theirs. So I'm not perfect like you, nor am I a kindhearted person like senpai. I'm just finding the only source of happiness in my life after you abandoned me—!"
Unable to simply listen any more, Rin interrupted: "Sakura."
She took a deep breath, and prepared to say what she had never been brave enough to say for her entire life.
"I can't pretend to understand your pain. Like you said, I've been able to overcome most of the challenges in my life, and I've never been taken away from my family and tortured like you, so I never really thought about what you suffered through or felt like. I'm not going to try to understand what happened to you, because I can't do it without living through your experiences."
Try as she might, tears began to leak from the corners of Rin's eyes. She took a rattling breath to steady herself, clenching her fists to prevent them from shaking.
"I wish that I could have saved you. Had I known the extent of your suffering, I would have stormed into the Matou household and burned it to the ground to take you back. But Mother and Father forbade me from talking to you when I was younger, and after they died, I was too scared to look after you, and I will forever regret that."
"But this isn't the right way to solve your problems either. Zouken and Shinji deserved to suffer for what they did to you, but what about Shirou? What about your classmates at school? What about the rest of Fuyuki, or Japan, or the world when Angra Mainyu awakens? Do they deserve to suffer just because you did? That's why, despite all your pain, I can't let you keep doing this."
The veins of glowing red light on Sakura's face continue to creep across her face and neck as Angra Mainyu exerted even more influence on her shattered psyche. Sakura let out a deranged laugh.
"Don't even pretend like you're doing this for unselfish reasons, nee-san. You just need me dead so you can forget that you abandoned me. I won't let you win, because I'm the one ugly thing about you, and I'm going to make sure nobody forgets what you did to me."
As Sakura raised her hands, several dark tendrils rose from the ground to flank her, poised to strike Rin down at a moment's notice.
"I won't forgive you, nee-san. And I don't care about your excuses. I don't need you anymore."
Damn it, I can't stall her any more, Shirou. I'm so sorry, Sakura. But I need to end this, for both our sakes.
Just as Sakura flicked her fingers, and the tendrils around her shot towards Rin, she heard her sister's voice choke out, her voice broken by grief: "I'm sorry. I love you."
Rin hurled the Jeweled Sword high into the air, glowing as bright as a second sun, just before one of the dark tendrils punched through her abdomen, and she collapsed soundlessly on the ground, blood pooling around her.
Sakura only had a moment to take in the sight of her sister, a look of horror spreading across her face, before a massive explosion shook the cave, throwing her to the ground. The last thing she saw before her head hit the ground was a sea of blinding, white fire.
Everything around her burned, even the stone floor she lay on.
That's not possible.
The white flames illuminated the cave in a kaleidoscope of prismatic light. Sakura stood up, her hands and legs burning wherever they touched the ground, even as her flesh regenerated from the endless stream of mana flowing through her body. She staggered as the pain in her legs redoubled, and let out an incoherent scream of pain as the nerves and muscles in her legs melted and reformed in the sea of flames.
She looked up to see what was left of the Jeweled Sword embedded high above, in the ceiling of the cavern, a web of cracks having spread all across the cavern. Bits of rubble and stone fell from the ceiling as the mountain rumbled from the aftershock of the blast.
What… did you do, nee-san? I… I killed her. Even though she loved me.
S̸h̷e̷ d̷e̸s̴e̸rv̶e̶d i̵t̷. S̷h̵e ̷ab̶a̶n̶d̷o̷n̴e̸d y̸o̶u t̵o s̶u̵f̶f̸e̸r̴,̵ ̵t̷o̵ ̷di̷e̷.̴
But she wanted to protect me from the pain of magecraft. She wanted a better life for me than this. What… have I become? Now that I've killed nee-san?
Y̵o̷u̶'̶r̸e b̷e̷t̷t̴e̴r o̴f̸f w̵i̵t̶h̴o̷u̶t h̷e̴r. S̸h̵e̸'̵s n̷o̷t d̸ea̷d̷, f̴in̵i̸s̷h h̷e̴r̷ o̴f̴f̴. O̵n̵l̷y t̴h̶e̸n w̷i̷l̸l y̸o̵u b̷e f̷r̵e̷e.
She's… alive? …I won't do it. You'll have to make me. I won't be the monster that ojii-sama wanted me to be.
Y̵o̶u̵r r̴e̴s̵i̴s̵t̷a̴n̶c̸e i̶s̸ f̵u̷t̷i̵l̶e. I̵ w̵i̵l̷l d̷o ̵w̶h̸a̷t y̸o̸u ̷c̵a̸n̴n̶o̵t.
Angra Mainyu summoned the tendrils of the Shadow to her side. Sakura watched helplessly as they curled above the flickering flames, their movement suddenly out of her control. Just as the shadows were positioned to slash through her sister's body, however, Sakura saw the approaching silhouette of a broken man, oblivious to the hell that surrounded them.
Senpai…
The shadows slowly turned to face the approaching figure instead.
The flames didn't hurt. His mind no longer understood the concept of pain, even if the nerves in his legs had not already turned to steel. Even as the steel under his flesh glowed red-hot, he kept walking, eyes fixed on the girl in front of him.
I… I promised you something… What was it?
Distantly, he recognized her voice. Was she talking to him? It didn't matter. There were no words she could use, nothing she could do to turn him from the path he had chosen. He had no name, no power, no goal but to save the girl he loved, the one he had thrown everything away to protect.
Your name is… S-Sakura. Sakura. I have to remember.
Something spilled from the corner of his mouth, and he absently wiped it away with a hand covered in metal. The muscles in his arms and legs tore as his soul's swords tore through his remaining flesh. With every step, he felt the distinctive grinding of metal against metal as the bones and tendons in his joints solidified over time.
Out of the corners of his half-lidded eyes, he noticed the Shadow's whips, shrouded in darkness, poised to strike him down. It didn't matter. She could never hurt him, no matter how much she thought she wanted to.
His mind acted of its own volition, using the blades growing from his right arm to deflect the first tendril, aimed at his stomach. Two more followed, and his body moved to dodge one and block the other with his hand, covered in scales of steel. He kept walking forward, heedless of the danger.
What… was her name again?
The girl ahead of him fell to her knees as the tendrils' movements became more erratic, occasionally more restrained and at other times more aggressive, circling the girl like the blooming of a deadly flower. One tendril, aimed directly at his face, shot toward him like a bullet. And though his arm was stiff, the muscles and tendons inside already having turned to steel, it shot up at inhuman speeds to parry the blow upwards, his iron skin impervious to damage.
As he approached the girl, he noticed the water welling in the corners of her eyes despite his blurry vision. He reached a hand out to brush away the tear slowly rolling down her cheek, taking care not to cut her with the innumerable blades piercing through his skin.
The nameless man once known as Shirou Emiya reached out with his left arm and loosened the Shroud of Martin for the last time. He hesitated, searching for words that his mind no longer recognized the meaning of, before instinctively embracing the girl, now openly sobbing into his arms. Just before he touched the tip of Rule Breaker to her, he spoke the one final truth he knew:
"I love you, Sakura."
Ah… Sakura. Like the… cherry blossoms in spring. We agreed… to see them… together…
He closed his eyes for the last time and pressed Rule Breaker to the girl's chest, just as a dark tendril lanced toward the embraced pair. The nameless hero died in peace, blissfully oblivious to Sakura's cry of pain, which ended as abruptly as it began.
With a monumental effort, Rin looked up from where she had collapsed. The world around her seemed to spin, and in some corner of her mind, she noted that the air somehow felt heavier. Blood dripped from her side, slowly turning the hem of her coat a deeper, rusty red. She blinked some stray tears from her eyes before glancing around her.
The flames that had blanketed the cavern when she had overloaded the projected Jeweled Sword and detonated it were finally dying out, revealing the bodies of Shirou and Sakura, slumped together in a heap.
Sakura's skin was eerily pallid, and she lay inhumanly, excruciatingly still. Despite the agonizing gash in her abdomen and the torn muscles in her limbs that screamed out in agony with every movement, Rin began desperately crawling over to her sister, silently praying that she wasn't too late. But even as she told herself to maintain hope, an ice-cold hand closed further around Rin's heart. She already knew she would find only a corpse.
This was the cost of her choices, her misplaced convictions, her entire life's work. An unending series of mistakes. She had let her sister without protest, both too obedient and ignorant to believe her father could make such a grave mistake.
Tears spilled forth from Rin's eyes as she cradled the lifeless form of her sister. Her skin was cold, and even despite the saccharine taste of mana in the air, Rin couldn't feel any energy emanating from her sister's body. A small stream of blood trickled down from a clean cut in her back, deep enough to pierce her heart.
I can handle everything except the most critical step. All those times in the hallways, in the archery club, in the cafeteria, where I turned a blind eye… I never once smiled or talked to her. Every time I turned my back on her out of duty or a misplaced sense of pride… was it worth it? I made myself unapproachable and cold, all for what? Despite all my magecraft, what does it matter if I can't use it for the right reasons? I can't save anyone I care about.
Shirou's body lay next to Sakura's, reaching out with arms that would no longer move. Swords of all sizes had sprouted from almost his entire body. What little remained had a reflective shine as his body slowly turned into steel, even the final melancholic smile that graced his lips in death. Faintly, Rin heard the dripping of blood, and a wave of nausea washed over her when she saw a sword protruding from Shirou's heart, having drained the last vestiges of life from his broken body.
Rin's body shook as she began to sob silently. Before long, she was gasping as her cries filled the cavern. She struggled to draw breath with each passing tear that fell onto the glowing stone at her feet. She cradled Sakura's limp body in her arms, weeping at the sight of the red ribbon tied in her purple tresses.
Even when I got a chance to reconcile with her during this worthless Grail War, I told myself that killing my sister was the right thing to do. Some sister I am. More like a sociopath. When her tears ebbed for a moment, Rin looked down at her blood-stained hands. Despite it all, she laughed. The jagged, hoarse wail that tore itself from her throat carried through the cavern before it morphed back into another tortuous sob. Snot and tears streamed down her face as her breaths slowly grew ragged.
I never deserved to be called a sister or a friend. Sakura, Shirou… I'm so sorry. I've failed you both.
Far above, on the platform, Kirei Kotomine's lips curled in a sadistic smirk.
Rin's hand trembled as she removed the Azoth Sword from Shirou's belt and pressed it to the bloody gash in her stomach, trying to summon the strength to pull it inwards. She closed her eyes and grit her teeth, arms shaking from the tension of her despondent thoughts rebelling against her primal instinct to survive.
Just do it. End it! It's what you deserve, and you know it.
Damn it, Sakura and Shirou wouldn't have wanted this either. Pull yourself together, for their sakes!
Do you think you have any right to live after what you did to her? Eleven years of torture, you heartless sociopath! And you got your only close friend killed in the process of trying to cover up your mistakes! You don't deserve to live, and you know that, you coward!
It's not over yet. Even if I want to die, I can't yet. Not before I destroy Angra Mainyu. I still have to finish this last labor to atone for my sin. Only then can I rest.
When her eyes opened, her voice came out in a cracked, hoarse whisper, barely audible above the ambient hum of mana in the air and the sounds of All the World's Evil.
"I can't. Not without cleaning up my own mess."
Slowly, Rin stumbled to her feet, staunchly refusing to look at the corpses at her feet, and picked up Sakura's hair ribbon and Shirou's ruby pendant. A memory of the only friends I ever had in this world.
Rin hesitated, then also took the Azoth Sword hanging from Shirou's belt, strapping it under her jacket. She began limping slowly up the narrow walkway to the Greater Grail's basin, where the nascent God was stirring. A trickle of tears and blood ran down her right arm to her hand, which was clenched so tightly her knuckles ached from the strain. The laceration in her stomach felt as though a knife was being twisted with every step, but she kept walking, cognizant yet indifferent to the amount of blood she had already lost.
But all the thoughts in her mind evaporated as Rin locked eyes with the lone figure in the distance, who turned to face her as she climbed the final steps to the Grail's basin.
That's impossible. Sakura killed him, she said so herself. And if even Servants stood no chance against the Shadow, then how is he here? He should be dead.
But Kirei Kotomine looked very much alive as he discarded his cross necklace and cracked his knuckles, smiling all the while.
"I see you've returned for one last lesson, Rin."
Perfect.
That was the only thought that ran through his head. This was a golden opportunity to break that stubborn Tohsaka spirit of hers by finally telling her the truth of her parents' death and reveling in the futility of her suicidal plan to destroy the Grail. Telling her that her only friend, her sister, and the rest of her family had died for less than nothing, and that the world would soon come to ruin with no way to stop it… the very thought of her breaking down in front of him, mentally and physically, brought an incorrigible smile to his lips.
I hope the girl cries again. It's been a very long time since I've seen her tears, and I find I've missed them dearly. How should I end this? Should I let Angra Mainyu kill her? Or should she end like her mother, wheezing and choking for air, clawing at her throat as her windpipe collapses beneath my hands? Yes, I think that's best. Seeing the life draining from their eyes as their futile struggles slowly stop is always… entertaining.
Before he could say anything, Rin interrupted him with a snarl: "Kirei. What are you doing here? And how are you still standing? Sakura led me to believe that you were quite dead."
Kirei noted how she held her back straight, trying but failing to seem unaffected by the wound in her stomach. A sloppy job. Even an amateur could see how she's favoring her left leg, not to mention the uneven breathing and how pale she looks, likely from blood loss.
I need her to be pliable, and speaking evasively and using emotional attacks always frustrate her. When she's mad, she makes mistakes.
He spoke nonchalantly, trying to fuel her anger."She tried to crush my heart. Unfortunately, she didn't get a very good look at me, otherwise she would have finished the job."
Rin narrowed her eyes, staring intently at his chest as a spark ran through her frosty eyes: "A heart of physical curses, then. I always knew you were a heartless monster, but I never thought it would be so literal."
"You wound me, Rin." Kirei said, taking feigned offense. "I hope you don't insult all your teachers to their faces."
Rin scowled. "I'm in no mood for your games, Kirei. Answer the question: Why are you here? You'll die in minutes anyway from that so-called heart of yours."
Kirei's smile sent shivers going down Rin's spine. "Is it not obvious? I am here to bear witness to the birth of these curses."
Rin's eyes narrowed. What is he trying to do? He always has an angle to play, another card held back when you least expect it. He's doing this for a reason. "Why? If it's born, it won't attach itself to you. You can't control it, nor could you stop it in your current state if you wanted to."
Kirei clicked his tongue in disappointment. "How crude. I have no intentions of interfering with Angra Mainyu, nor could I, as you have said. But I will bless anything that is to be born, as stated by my duties as a priest. And it is also my responsibility to protect it from those who would wish it harm."
Rin scoffed. "I don't buy that for a minute. You always have a reason for even the most mundane decisions. Why go so far to protect something so obviously evil? What do you gain from it being born?"
So she's finally cutting to the chase. A pity. "This is the only way I can find pleasure in my final hours, as my only happiness comes from the suffering of others." An unfamiliar feeling of joy welled up in his stomach as he saw Rin's jaw clench with anger. Kirei's smile grew eerily wide. "It is presumptuous to consider something evil when it is not yet born. It is love that drives me to protect something that wishes to bring itself into the world."
Rin scoffed. "And what about the people it will kill? Surely senseless murder is evil to you, even with your twisted sense of morality?"
Kirei inclined his head. "We can only be judged by our actions. Humans have the capacity for both good and evil, but there is no crime in being born. If humans have the capacity for both good and evil, yet choose to do good, are they not superior to the angels, who do good because that is all they know? To call Angra Mainyu evil before it is born is itself immoral, and thus I will see it born."
"So you allow Angra Mainyu's existence? This god is only capable of killing and destruction. You and I both know he'll destroy the world if he's allowed to be born! If he's not capable of good, his life can't be anything but evil!"
Kirei nodded. "You are correct. His nature is evil, as he was made that way by others. But neither of us know what he thinks of that evil. If he is conscious of his actions and has emotions like humans, then he is evil for continuing his own existence. But what if he has no conscious understanding of his own actions? If the world wished for him to act this way, and he did so without comprehending his own actions, he is not intrinsically evil, only his creators."
"What the hell?" Rin muttered under her breath. I knew something was wrong with him, but I never knew he was this depraved.
Kirei continued as if he had not heard her. "Have you ever given thought to those who were born broken? Those people who were never wanted, even before birth; what is the meaning of their existence? I want to know if Angra Mainyu can forgive its own existence, if it can bear to live with the ability to only do evil."
The abyss in Kirei's eyes, normally devoid of any emotion, danced with a fire that made Rin freeze. His voice had a sound of urgency, of excitement. I've never seen or heard him like this. I need to stall him longer and find a way to kill him or take down Angra Mainyu. If I only had the Jeweled Sword, then maybe I could collapse the cavern on us. But I don't have the energy or any jewels strong enough to—
"And that is why I stabbed your father in the back and allowed Sakura Matou to be possessed by the spirit of Angra Mainyu. To find the answer to my life's existence, and understand if a life spent enjoying the suffering of others can still have some meaning."
—he… what? He… killed Father? And allowed Sakura to suffer, without telling me? You… LIAR! YOU—!
Rin's voice came out in a grating growl, her teeth aching as they clenched together: "You hurt Sakura…"
Kirei laughed again as the smile on his face twisted into a sadistic leer, and yet his voice rang with more sincerity than Rin had ever heard: "You finally understand. I have killed many people for the sake of understanding myself, and I will not change course now, even on the verge of death."
His words didn't register with Rin, whose face morphed from shock, to grief, to despair, and finally to a white-hot, blinding fury, as a lone tear fell from her eyes. Her throat, hoarse from the magical fire she had accidentally inhaled while unconscious, made her words tumble out in an ear-splitting shriek: "You…hurt Sakura! You let her DIE!"
Rin's breaths came ragged, irrespective of the wound in her side or the torn muscles in her limbs. Her icy blue eyes burned into Kirei's casual smirk. It didn't matter how hurt she was. Kirei Kotomine would die by her hand, and she would make it as slow and painful as possible.
First order of business is punching the teeth out of his godforsaken smile and shoving them down his throat. She clenched her fists as she tested the strength in her arms, reinforcing her limbs with the remaining dregs of her mana.
"Normally, I don't experience what you call 'happiness', but when I see you so riled up, I think I almost understand." Kirei remained unfazed as he discreetly shifted his foot into a modified bajiquan stance and cracked his knuckles. "It's interesting that you care so much about the girl now, only after she's dead and gone. Maybe had you acted earlier, she might even be alive right now."
Unable to control herself any longer, Rin kicked off the ground, ignoring the searing pain in her side as she launched herself at her former teacher, her blazing eyes swearing to repay Sakura's pain and suffering tenfold.
"SHUT… UP!"
The torn muscles in her limbs screamed as she forced them to move past the point where exhaustion should have set in. The wound in her side, where the Shadow had stabbed her, had thankfully stopped bleeding so profusely, but every movement felt as if a knife was being twisted under her ribcage, centimeter by centimeter. Her lungs burned from exertion and the poisonous air, tainted by the mana emanating in such close proximity to the Grail.
Keep… going. You have to kill Kotomine and Angra Mainyu. Only then will the nightmare end. You can't stop now. Shirou and Sakura died for this. Do it for them. Do it for them. Do it now—!
As Rin approached Kotomine's stance, she lashed out with a punch strong enough to dent solid steel, aiming to directly crush his windpipe and end the fight.
He can't avoid this. Even injured as I am, I've never reinforced myself to such a degree when sparring with him before.
And yet, as her fist extended, it passed only through empty air. For only a split second, Rin's foot slipped as she overextended her balance. But that was enough for Kirei's elbow to bury itself in her stomach, inches away from her earlier wound.
Rin thought she knew pain. Her whole body had been blistered by the shadow's attack when Archer had died, her whole body aching from mana burns and the feedback of her Servant's death on her through their mental bond, not to mention the conspicuously absent voice in her mind that made her tear up unexpectedly in the days to come. And yet, none of those came close to the agony radiating through her whole body.
Blackness crept around the edges of Rin's vision as she fought to keep her consciousness, stumbling away as Kirei straightened up, his gaze cold and disapproving.
"Did you think a head-on attack would work? I fear you've learned little from our past bouts. A careless mistake."
Distantly, Rin saw his foot planting into the ground hard enough to crack the stone floor, and threw her hands up in the sloppy approximation of a stance, praying that she could parry his blow before it landed. Kirei's punch crushed through her guard as if it were wet paper, only missing her chin by a hair as Rin tumbled backwards and rolled back to her feet, her breath heaving.
Panting for air, Rin gritted out: "How are you still this strong? You all but admitted you're a walking corpse." Her left arm, which had caught the brunt of Kirei's attack, hung limply at her side, and her right arm clutched at her abdomen, which had begun bleeding again. Shit. Another exchange like that, and I'll be finished. I can't rush in blindly like that.
Kirei laughed again. "I am dying, just as much as you are. The only difference is a few more minutes of survival. I only hope I taught you well enough to make these next few moments interesting."
As soon as his sentence ended, he lunged, feinting a punch before rising into a vicious right knee that Rin barely dodged, feeling it scrape by her ribs before she swung back with a vicious right elbow. Kirei swayed back like a leaf in the wind, letting her arm brush by his chin with centimeters to spare and checking her with his shoulder immediately after.
Rin's staggered back, shocked at the force of his blow. If he hits me in the head or heart, I don't think I can keep going. I'm almost out of mana, and he barely looks winded. I've got to trick him somehow and lure him into attacking so I can end this quickly.
She danced into his guard, throwing a few testing blows, before punching towards his face once again. This time, however, she abandoned her blow halfway through, kneeing upwards into his face as he reflexively ducked to avoid her first blow. Kirei's neck snapped back with a loud crack, and it was his turn to stagger back this time, one hand cradling his nose, which now sat at a crooked angle. A trickle of blood ran down his lip and chin, outlining his grimace of pain.
"Good, you do still have some fight in you. At least you'll die fighting, unlike your father."
Rin growled. "Father trusted you, and you betrayed him for the Grail. I'll never make the same mistake."
"And you were wise not to," Kirei said with a nod of grudging respect. "But you're mistaken. I didn't betray Tokiomi Tohsaka for the Grail. I simply killed him because it made me happy to see him suffer."
Rin didn't deign his taunt with a response, and instead lunged forward. Slipping her leg inside his guard, she curled her heel around his ankle and lunged forward with her shoulder, knocking him off balance. As she reared back to strike him, however, an iron grip on her shoulder sent her tumbling, and only seeing the shadow of his leg allowed her to throw herself out of the way of a subsequent stomp that would have broken ribs and crushed her organs.
As Rin clambered to her feet, Kirei pounced, his blows falling hard and fast. Punch after punch brushed by her head or landed punishing blows on her trembling arms, until a sudden headbutt sent her reeling, stars swimming in her eyes as she felt the warmth of fresh blood on her face.
He's… got no openings. If I go for a lethal blow with the Azoth sword, he'll strike me down before I can land it. But if I keep fighting him like this, I can't win.
Blindly, she struck in Kirei's direction, and felt the impact of her fist on his guard, using the time to dance away and clear her vision. She stomped down at his ankle, and smiled grimly in satisfaction as she heard the sound of bones and tissue cracking.
Her satisfaction died as Kirei's other foot swung upwards, aiming directly for her stomach. Instinctively, Rin took a step back, immediately throwing both arms up to block a backhand aimed directly for her face. Even though her arms took the brunt of the blow, her whole body staggered to the side, buffeted by the strength of his assault.
Kirei frowned. "Disappointing. You were more entertaining when you cried over your sister's corpse than you are now. That brave facade of yours was always… off-putting." He began limping towards Rin, who lowered into a stance, though her entire body trembled with the strain and exhaustion.
I swore to protect you, Sakura. I failed, and I will always be sorry. But I won't let the world punish you for the sins of Zouken Matou. Kirei has no goal. But I have someone to avenge. I have a reason I want to win… a reason I need to win! So… get… the hell… out of my way!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH—!"
Rin's voice came out like the scream of a wounded animal, and even the normally stoic Kirei hesitated for just a moment.
But a moment was all Rin needed.
Summoning the last reserves of her strength, she lunged forward, and struck Kirei in the face as hard as she could, faster than he could react. Rin smiled grimly as she felt something crack underneath her knuckles.
"GET—!"
Another blow landed hard enough to break something in Rin's hand.
"THE—!"
A third blow struck squarely on Kirei's broken nose.
"HELL—!"
A fourth cracked several of his ribs, and he gasped in pain.
"OUT—!"
The fifth blow caught him squarely on the chin, snapping his head backwards as his lip split open, blood running freely down his neck.
"OF—!"
A sixth blow split open a cut above his eye, gashing half his face with fresh blood.
"MY—!"
A seventh blow landed directly on his cheekbone.
"WAY—!"
The eighth blow—
—was caught by Kirei, despite his rapidly swelling eye and the blood running down his face, before he drove his forehead straight into Rin's with a crushing headbutt and picked her up by the neck, his thumbs crushing the arteries on her neck.
When he spoke, his voice was raspy with pain, but the joy in his voice was clear to hear. His undamaged eye gleamed with unbridled elation. "Did you ever figure out who assaulted your mother during the last war? It was your friend, Kariya Matou. I manipulated him into strangling Aoi Tohsaka, and watched as the life slowly drained from her eyes."
Rin grabbed and pulled at his hands, but his grip was stronger than iron. Desperately, she heaved in the air, trying to stay rooted as Kirei lifted her towards the edge of the Greater Grail's basin. Below, liquid mana boiled like lava.
I can't strike a lethal blow with the Azoth Sword in this position! I need… to get… closer…
Kirei's smile grew to grotesque levels, despite the wounds on his face. "It was the second time I'd ever felt joy, after killing your father. I regret never seeing the same despair on Sakura Matou's face while feeling her life drain from underneath my fingertips, but I'll have to make due with you!"
As her vision began to grow dark around the edges, Rin closed her eyes tightly shut and grabbed the pendant in her pocket. Flinging it in Kirei's face with the last of her strength, she breathlessly mouthed a command, and the pendant flashed with a blinding explosion of crimson light.
Kirei grunted in pain as he clutched at his eyes, trying to blink the glare from his eyes. Rin desperately wanted to retch and clutch at her heavily bruised neck as she fell to the ground, but she stood up shakily and drew the Azoth Sword with her intact right arm.
Though his left eye was swollen shut and his right eye was barely functional due to sensory overload, Kirei heard Rin's unsteady steps and turned to face her just as she put her entire body's weight behind a final thrust aimed to pierce his heart.
Rin's hopes died as he caught the blade with his bare hand out of some preternatural instinct, stopping the tip of the blade just above his chest. But instead of ripping the blade from her trembling hands or taking advantage of her vulnerable positioning, Kirei simply looked down at his chest with his lone good eye.
"… so this is how it all ends. A simple lack of time."
A black stain had spread across his undershirt from the corrupted, black mud that had served as his heart for ten long years. When he met Rin's eye, his face again wore his apathetic, blank mask, and his one good eye was again devoid of any recognizable emotion.
When he spoke, his voice was calm, almost bored: "I concede victory to you, Rin. You are the final remaining master. The Holy Grail will grant any wish you desire." As he finished his sentence, his grip on the Azoth Sword loosened, and without any resistance, Rin drove the blade through where his heart should have been.
Normally, Rin thought she would have been happy to see Kirei die, but between the haze of adrenaline, the pain of her wounds, and the emotions broiling in her stomach, she only felt disgusted. "For Sakura, Shirou, my family, and however many others you've hurt… this is less than what you deserve."
Kirei wordlessly shrugged his shoulders slightly, his lips curled up in a faint smirk. Rin narrowed her eyes and touched the base of the sword.
"Läßt."
The magical energy embedded within the sword, from when it had been used as the base to project the Jeweled Sword, released within fractions of a second. Kirei stumbled backwards, a gaping hole having been blown straight through his chest, and fell.
Rin picked up her pendant and began limping to the basin of the Grail, paying the forgotten corpse behind her no mind.
Rin's eyes and mouth burned as she stopped walking at the edge of the Grail's basin. The air was so saturated with mana that even breathing it felt like swallowing acid.
She stared up with a mix of fear, hatred, and desperate resolve in her eyes at the god being birthed in the Grail's basin.
I could run. I could run, and survive with my remaining assets for another few days, maybe a week. I could stop now and just let it end. Another day, an extra hour, even one more minute. Anything to not die right now.
My left arm is probably broken, I have lacerations and internal bleeding all over my stomach, and all the muscles and tendons in my body are either strained or tearing. I'm completely empty of mana, and I have no more jewels left. Everything… hurts. And I… can't kill it. I don't have the power.
Rin's legs, which had long since passed their limit of endurance, gave beneath her as she sank into a kneeling position. All around the cavern, bedrock and stone splintered and cracked as Angra Mainyu struggled against the mana cocooning it to the altar of the Grail. The mountain shook with the nascent god's burgeoning movements.
But I told Sakura that I loved her. I wanted to protect her from the horrors of this world, so I can't turn back now. Because after all I've done to her, the one thing I can do is keep my promise.
No matter what, Sakura, I love you. I will always protect you, no matter the cost. Because even though you've changed in many ways since you left, you will always be my sister.
I guess this is it, then. The only thing I have left to give is my life. If I pour everything in me into a single spell, I might be able to collapse the mountain and destroy this "Holy Grail" once and for all.
Rin drew a shaky breath, trying to quiet the trembling in her limbs before she tore the ruined sleeve of her jacket off, exposing the magic crest that covered her left arm. The circuits in her arm created an intricate pattern, converging and diverging from certain nodes which weaved together the results of generations of Tohsaka mages' research.
If I touch this node, it all comes undone. And everything my family's worked for, everything I've worked for… disappears as I die with a bang.
I wish Archer was here right now. A Guardian like him would probably have a better solution to these world-ending threats. Actually, shouldn't Alaya be concerned about this? Shouldn't someone be sent right now to deal with this before humanity goes extinct? Unless it thinks someone is already equipped to deal with this issue, which means the responsibility falls to… me.
Just as the thought passed through her mind, a gust of air blew through the cavern from behind her as a vortex of lightning coalesced into a ball of blue flames, surrounded by two concentric halos. Impossibly, flames as blue as the sea covered the rocky ground. And yet, even though the thing before her did not speak, somehow, Rin understood what it wanted.
The world wants to contract with me to ensure its continued existence. And in exchange, it would give me a chance to correct my wrongs someday. This really isn't a choice. If I don't do this, everybody dies along with me. You're really forcing my hand here, Alaya. And yet… even though I'm being manipulated for your gain, I can't pass up this chance to fix my past mistakes.
I always thought it would be you who made these sorts of heroic sacrifices, Emiya-kun, but I guess Alaya knows how to push my buttons.
Rin reached out towards the impossible spiral that called out to her, and tendrils of blue began to creep over her arms, torso and face. Waves of mana began to feed into her circuits, repairing the extensive damage throughout her body. The wound on Rin's abdomen closed as flesh and skin appeared from thin air, and the muscles in her limbs knit together as her exhausted circuits were flooded with fresh mana.
Rin looked up as more tendrils reached all across the cave, and her mouth fell open as hundreds of prismatic crystals coalesced into the intact form of the Jeweled Sword.
A weapon to destroy Angra Mainyu. I suppose it was more efficient to recreate something that already existed in this world, rather than give me a new weapon altogether.
She turned the blade over in her hands, marveling at how it seemed to be a perfect reconstruction of the blade she had held minutes prior. A flick of the wrist made the blade glow with iridescent power.
This Grail can't grant me my wish. But to repay the lifetime with me that you never had, Sakura, I'll sacrifice everything. Even if it means I never truly find peace, I will not let you bear the responsibility of others' sins. The burden of magecraft should never have been put on your shoulders, nor was it fair that you were neglected for being born after me. In another time, in another world, we should have been sisters not only in blood, but also in spirit. I only hope I can experience that one day. Even after I die, I promise I will always look after you.
Rin thrust the Jeweled Sword into the air, watching as it drew in the ambient mana from the air, before doing the same from parallel worlds in different times and spaces. The heat from the energy contained within began to blister and burn at Rin's hand, but she simply reinforced it and persisted. Even as Angra Mainyu began to thrash in its embryo, struggling to free itself and stop its impending destruction, Rin only laughed.
If I'm going to die, you're coming with me.
The rainbow colored light in the Sword began to mesh together, blending into a golden light that threatened to blind Rin. She shut one eye and kept collecting more energy, until the crystal itself began to vibrate with the strain.
Sakura… Shirou… I wish I could have… I should have done more. This is my atonement. I hope you'll forgive me.
Rin braced herself against the collapsing cave's rubble and swung the blade, and the world around her dissolved.
Sometime, Somewhere
The first thing she was acutely aware of was the feeling of cold, musky air on her face and the smell of rotten death.
The woman stood up and opened her eyes, the memories flooding back as she realized where she was. She looked up to see the twisted, disfigured face of the man in front of her, who gasped for breath as something under his skin moved. But she forgot about him completely as her eyes found the young girl behind him, who stood with a doll-like, apathetic face and blank eyes. The woman reached into her pocket and grasped the worn-down red hair ribbon, a perfect replica of the one tied in the young girl's hair.
She was so engrossed in the girl she had not seen in eons that she almost flinched when the man finally spoke, with a raspy, grating voice:
"I ask of you. Are you Servant Caster?"
Sakura. I've finally found you again.
End: Sacrifice
A/N: So… it's been a while. Since I last posted, I've started two concurrent part-time jobs while still in college, had a near-mental breakdown, accidentally poured acid on my hands at work (enough to blister and make my skin peel apart for days after), built a map for a video game, and moved into an apartment alone for the first time. It's been a hectic, stressful year, so sorry for the wait!
Also... please review! I'd like to know what I could improve upon. I'd like to try my hand at some pretty long-form stuff, including a Mass Effect fic bouncing around in my head, but I'd rather not attempt anything while still learning to write better prose.