A/N: Not sure when this story will finish. Should I finish it soon? I don't know. *Shrugs* Oh well. Enjoy the rest of the story!
On a very serious note: If any of my readers out there do anything like this or think about doing it seek help or just plain E-mail me. End of serious note. Very short chapter.
Chapter 5: Like Home
It had been days since the car accident. Carter knew, yet didn't, that he was falling slowly. Falling slowly into darkness and into his mind. He had asked Kerry for a few "personal" days. She didn't object, maybe she knew about what happened or was for once compassionate and didn't feel like knowing why, probably not though... He had left home. Told his gamma that he needed a vacation, he was stressed because of "work". He was now driving in his now fixed truck. Maybe being by himself would make him feel better. The road was completely empty and he just looked at the forest on both sides of him. He was happy he had rented a cabin all to himself. He had in the cabin a fireplace, a bedroom, a kitchen, two guestrooms and a living/dining room. He saw the cabin coming into view through the lush forestry.
'Now I can relax' he thought to himself. 'Unless I-. No, no I can't think about that!' He was angry with himself and felt horrible. Can't he get this over with and just kill himself? Waking up everyday, dread and horror filling him. Never being able to feel happiness? What was left to live for anyway? Who would want to help him? Everyone was probably annoyed with him by now. Thinking he only wanted attention. He wanted something. He wasn't sure but he felt lost and angry.
He stopped in front of his cabin and began to unpack everything from his car. At least no one knew that he was at the cabin, well except for his grandmother. He carried his one suitcase and his two gym bags to the cabin. When he stepped in side he felt alone. It was huge. His grandmother wouldn't let him go to a hotel room, it wasn't good enough he guessed. He soaked in each room and admired the view but then went to lie down on the couch. He was bored to tears.
All he did was turn on the TV, just like home, walked around getting food from the fridge, just like home, and falling in and out of sleep, just like at home. After all the infomercials were over and the TV station shut down for the night and showed those annoying colored stripes he went to his room. He was on his back looking at his ceiling. It was made out of wood so it wasn't interesting. He looked at his clock. It read '3:55'.
"That's great! I left home to be somewhere different." He laughed at himself, cruelly. " Well I left somewhere different but my habits are the same." He went to the kitchen and prepared some food. He took his sandwich to the TV room and put on two movies. He laughed a bit during the movies. He hadn't honestly laughed in a long time. It was sort of a relief actually.
When the movies finished he went to his room again. He thought of why he was there and grew angry. He went room to room pulling down the blinds and blocking off any window he saw. The entire cabin was dark and he liked it that way. He went to the bedroom and fell asleep. Of course it wasn't peaceful. The clock read 8:14.
///////////////////////////
"Kerry, where's Carter? I don't see his name on the board anywhere." Abby asked Kerry back at the ER.
"I let him take a few days off. Why?"
"No reason." Abby's worry grew instantly. There was some bad feeling she was getting in the pit of her stomach but maybe it wasn't Carter. She went on with her day, planning to call Carter's house just to make sure.
///////////////////////////
Carter sat up, sweat on his forehead.
"Another fucking nightmare. What am I ten?" He got up and went walking from room to room. "I can't take this anymore, I can't." He kept mumbling to himself.
In his gym bag he found the pocketknife. He let himself bleed even more than usual. He grew angry that he was so weak he had to resort to this. He kept slashing the knife aggressively across his arms. He threw the knife across the room. His arms were covered in blood. It wasn't completely curing his suffering like it once had.
"What the FUCK is wrong with me! Will someone tell me what's going on in my head!?" No answer. He stood up.
He yelled and trashed anything he could get his hands on. All the rooms turned into a mess. The bed was turned over, mirrors broken, tables turned, anything had not undergone his wrath. He went back to the room, now a war zone, and headed for the bathroom. The supply was scarce. He pulled out some Nyquil, a box of sleeping pills, aspirin and Dayquil. He opened the box but there was only two. The Nyquil and Dayquil were close to being empty. Aspirin was almost empty also. He swallowed the two sleeping pills; the four pills of aspirin and in four gulps finished both bottles. All he had to do was wait. He trudged on to the kitchen. After searching through the shelves he opened the refrigerator. Nothing good left to eat in the entire house. Only leftovers. His head became light headed. His vision was hazy but that was the least of his worries. His legs were becoming weak and he collapsed unconscious.
//////////////////////////
"Good evening, is Carter there by any chance?" Abby called his house.
"No I'm sorry. He left, but would you like to leave a message?"
"Would you happen to know where he left? It's very important I talk to him." She lied, partially.
"Yes, hold on one moment while I get you the directions." After a few minutes his grandmother came on the phone. "Do you have a pen and paper?"
"Yes I do." Abby wrote down, carefully all the directions. She hung up the phone. She wouldn't be able to see him until the next day. She was working until night. She would drive in the dark if she had to. Her feeling wouldn't go away.
Finally, she never thought he shift would be over. She wasn't expected there two days from now. She got in her car and just drove to the cabin. She was exhausted but the cabin wasn't that far, maybe an hour or two. She arrived, looking at her directions and the road. She was amazed at the size of the cabin, but immediately discarded her amazement; he was a Carter after all. She stepped out and knocked on the door. He was probably asleep. She looked at watch.
"2:45. It's very late. He's probably sleeping or something." She knocked again. Her feeling was growing. She opened the door slightly and saw the cabin a mess. She opened the door all the way and gasped. The entire cabin was in pieces as if a burglar had broken in.
"Carter! Carter, are you in here? Are you all right?" She went from the living room to the kitchen. "Carter!" She ran to his side. He was unconscious in front of the refrigerator. Everything in there was also in pieces. On his arms were red marks that were covered in dried blood. BOTH his arms were covered in blood. She dragged him away from the cold as much as she could. She put her fingers to his neck. He was freezing! But he had a pulse. She went to the bedroom, she guessed, and carried with her as many blankets as possible. She covered him up and started a fire in the fireplace. She then dragged him close to the heat and covered him again. All she could do was watch him. His breathing was very shallow and light. Constantly she had to make sure he was alive. She tried to clean up the rooms but they were too trashed. After she did all she could she checked on Carter. His breathing became silent. He stopped breathing! She ran and began CPR.
"Don't die Carter! Not now!" She kept breathing for him but nothing worked. She took a pulse. I was almost gone! He was going to die! He was going to die and there was nothing else she could do!
Told you guys it was short. Sorry, everyone but I'm planning to end it soon. I don't have much inspiration for it anymore, but maybe a few reviews might make me change my mind though...
On a very serious note: If any of my readers out there do anything like this or think about doing it seek help or just plain E-mail me. End of serious note. Very short chapter.
Chapter 5: Like Home
It had been days since the car accident. Carter knew, yet didn't, that he was falling slowly. Falling slowly into darkness and into his mind. He had asked Kerry for a few "personal" days. She didn't object, maybe she knew about what happened or was for once compassionate and didn't feel like knowing why, probably not though... He had left home. Told his gamma that he needed a vacation, he was stressed because of "work". He was now driving in his now fixed truck. Maybe being by himself would make him feel better. The road was completely empty and he just looked at the forest on both sides of him. He was happy he had rented a cabin all to himself. He had in the cabin a fireplace, a bedroom, a kitchen, two guestrooms and a living/dining room. He saw the cabin coming into view through the lush forestry.
'Now I can relax' he thought to himself. 'Unless I-. No, no I can't think about that!' He was angry with himself and felt horrible. Can't he get this over with and just kill himself? Waking up everyday, dread and horror filling him. Never being able to feel happiness? What was left to live for anyway? Who would want to help him? Everyone was probably annoyed with him by now. Thinking he only wanted attention. He wanted something. He wasn't sure but he felt lost and angry.
He stopped in front of his cabin and began to unpack everything from his car. At least no one knew that he was at the cabin, well except for his grandmother. He carried his one suitcase and his two gym bags to the cabin. When he stepped in side he felt alone. It was huge. His grandmother wouldn't let him go to a hotel room, it wasn't good enough he guessed. He soaked in each room and admired the view but then went to lie down on the couch. He was bored to tears.
All he did was turn on the TV, just like home, walked around getting food from the fridge, just like home, and falling in and out of sleep, just like at home. After all the infomercials were over and the TV station shut down for the night and showed those annoying colored stripes he went to his room. He was on his back looking at his ceiling. It was made out of wood so it wasn't interesting. He looked at his clock. It read '3:55'.
"That's great! I left home to be somewhere different." He laughed at himself, cruelly. " Well I left somewhere different but my habits are the same." He went to the kitchen and prepared some food. He took his sandwich to the TV room and put on two movies. He laughed a bit during the movies. He hadn't honestly laughed in a long time. It was sort of a relief actually.
When the movies finished he went to his room again. He thought of why he was there and grew angry. He went room to room pulling down the blinds and blocking off any window he saw. The entire cabin was dark and he liked it that way. He went to the bedroom and fell asleep. Of course it wasn't peaceful. The clock read 8:14.
///////////////////////////
"Kerry, where's Carter? I don't see his name on the board anywhere." Abby asked Kerry back at the ER.
"I let him take a few days off. Why?"
"No reason." Abby's worry grew instantly. There was some bad feeling she was getting in the pit of her stomach but maybe it wasn't Carter. She went on with her day, planning to call Carter's house just to make sure.
///////////////////////////
Carter sat up, sweat on his forehead.
"Another fucking nightmare. What am I ten?" He got up and went walking from room to room. "I can't take this anymore, I can't." He kept mumbling to himself.
In his gym bag he found the pocketknife. He let himself bleed even more than usual. He grew angry that he was so weak he had to resort to this. He kept slashing the knife aggressively across his arms. He threw the knife across the room. His arms were covered in blood. It wasn't completely curing his suffering like it once had.
"What the FUCK is wrong with me! Will someone tell me what's going on in my head!?" No answer. He stood up.
He yelled and trashed anything he could get his hands on. All the rooms turned into a mess. The bed was turned over, mirrors broken, tables turned, anything had not undergone his wrath. He went back to the room, now a war zone, and headed for the bathroom. The supply was scarce. He pulled out some Nyquil, a box of sleeping pills, aspirin and Dayquil. He opened the box but there was only two. The Nyquil and Dayquil were close to being empty. Aspirin was almost empty also. He swallowed the two sleeping pills; the four pills of aspirin and in four gulps finished both bottles. All he had to do was wait. He trudged on to the kitchen. After searching through the shelves he opened the refrigerator. Nothing good left to eat in the entire house. Only leftovers. His head became light headed. His vision was hazy but that was the least of his worries. His legs were becoming weak and he collapsed unconscious.
//////////////////////////
"Good evening, is Carter there by any chance?" Abby called his house.
"No I'm sorry. He left, but would you like to leave a message?"
"Would you happen to know where he left? It's very important I talk to him." She lied, partially.
"Yes, hold on one moment while I get you the directions." After a few minutes his grandmother came on the phone. "Do you have a pen and paper?"
"Yes I do." Abby wrote down, carefully all the directions. She hung up the phone. She wouldn't be able to see him until the next day. She was working until night. She would drive in the dark if she had to. Her feeling wouldn't go away.
Finally, she never thought he shift would be over. She wasn't expected there two days from now. She got in her car and just drove to the cabin. She was exhausted but the cabin wasn't that far, maybe an hour or two. She arrived, looking at her directions and the road. She was amazed at the size of the cabin, but immediately discarded her amazement; he was a Carter after all. She stepped out and knocked on the door. He was probably asleep. She looked at watch.
"2:45. It's very late. He's probably sleeping or something." She knocked again. Her feeling was growing. She opened the door slightly and saw the cabin a mess. She opened the door all the way and gasped. The entire cabin was in pieces as if a burglar had broken in.
"Carter! Carter, are you in here? Are you all right?" She went from the living room to the kitchen. "Carter!" She ran to his side. He was unconscious in front of the refrigerator. Everything in there was also in pieces. On his arms were red marks that were covered in dried blood. BOTH his arms were covered in blood. She dragged him away from the cold as much as she could. She put her fingers to his neck. He was freezing! But he had a pulse. She went to the bedroom, she guessed, and carried with her as many blankets as possible. She covered him up and started a fire in the fireplace. She then dragged him close to the heat and covered him again. All she could do was watch him. His breathing was very shallow and light. Constantly she had to make sure he was alive. She tried to clean up the rooms but they were too trashed. After she did all she could she checked on Carter. His breathing became silent. He stopped breathing! She ran and began CPR.
"Don't die Carter! Not now!" She kept breathing for him but nothing worked. She took a pulse. I was almost gone! He was going to die! He was going to die and there was nothing else she could do!
Told you guys it was short. Sorry, everyone but I'm planning to end it soon. I don't have much inspiration for it anymore, but maybe a few reviews might make me change my mind though...