Minna, Megan, Crystalline, Juugo, Juuni, and Juu are made up characters. (AKA The friends who liked it)
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Triezio and Wuliet
Revised Version by Crystalline (And evil Grim Duo)
Original by Morpha (www.geocities.com/ragnarok_2384/Play.text)
Juugo: FIVE MINUTES TILL WE START!
Duo: What am I?
Juugo: THE NURSE STUPID! YOU 'N CRYSTALLINE!! REMEMBER YOUR LINES!
Duo: Oh, forgot that part. *walks away*
Trieze: Lo! What light blinds my gorgeous face? Why, 'tis Wuliet!
Juugo: No! It's 'What light from yonder window breaks? Why 'tis Wuliet!'
DON'T SCREW UP, AND NO DUMPING PROPANE ON WUFEI'S HEAD AND LIGHTING IT!
Trieze: *walks off muttering weird versions of his line*
Juugo: Trowa, do you know your lines?
Trowa: I know my lines.
Juugo: WUFEI! Get out here!
Wufei: NEVER! Not in this costume! I plague your house! Dishonor to
you!
Juugo: NO! THAT'S NOT YOUR LINE! GET OUT HERE NOW!
Wufei: NO!
Juugo: CRYSTALLINE!!!
Crystalline: Yes?
Wufei: Fine, I'm coming out.
*Wufei comes out and slips on Duo's spilled soda. He slides onto the
stage*
Act 1:
Wuliet: ...
Juugo: Get off the stage!
Wuliet: ...Hark! I must go suddenly! *walks off the stage*
{Crystalline walks on stage in a dress with Ryo-Oh-Ki.}
Crystalline: If I saw a Capulet I would tear him to pieces!
Wuliet: Hey! I'm a Capulet! AHHH!! It's Crystalline!! And the cabbit
thing!!
Crystalline: Oh, my! What a interesting Capulet! Want to be experimented
on by my mistress, miss Washu?
Wuliet: I SHALL KILL YOU!! *takes out a giant carrot Ryo-Oh-Ki eats
the top of it*
Crystalline: Ha! Ha!
Audience: *laughs their heads off*
Wuliet: *blushes* Oh, yes, Onna's are not allowed swords. This is a
problem. *pulls Ryo-Oh-Ki off the carrot* I'm not supposed to be on stage
right now. Um... Getting off now. *walks off*
Juugo: *trying not to kill Wufei with her castor riffle* Skip to another
part!
*curtain goes down and Grim Duo does a dance. Curtain goes up*
Triezio: Oh, unhappy day! My love shall never be returned! *holds up
mirror* This beautiful face must be too much!
Audience: ... *sweatdrop*
*Heevolio walks up*
Heevolio: Cousin! *eye starts to twitch a lot* Why cousin, do you sit
and mope when one could be happy and gay? *snickers*
Triezio: Why does one snicker? Is something on my face?
Heevolio: No. No. 'Tis a pitiful sight to see you mopping here. *so
only Trieze can hear* After the play I'll kill you. *back to acting voice*
So be happy! You live! There are more girls in this world! True, they might
be ugly and called Wuliet, Crystalline, *sees Crystalline pointing castor
riffle at him* well she's not so bad. Or Nurse, god is she ugly *Crystalline
points another castor riffle at him. (The audience can't see any of this)*
but just think of the... money you'll inherit! Come! Let us crash the Capulet's
party!
Triezio: *stands up* But I had a dream last night!
Heevolio: Everyone dreams! Be not afraid!
Triezio: But, 'twas a dream of death!
Heevolio: You were probably high on something last night and you had
a bad dream! NOW LET'S GO BEFORE JUUGO-GOU KILLS US!! *drags Triezio off
stage*
Act 3
*Triezio and Heevolio enter*
Heevolio: See! 'Tis a masquerade! Be happy and gay! *walks away*
Triezio: Very well then.
*Wuliet enters in long velvet dress*
Triezio: HARK! My breath must be taken away! But I see an angel!
Qubalt: Uncle! *goes over to Capulet* Uncle! I see a Montague!
Capulet: He is not causing any bloodshed in my house so let him be!
Qubalt: But he is the enemy! We cannot let such foul blood in your
house!
Capulet: I said let 'im be Qubalt!
Qubalt: Fine! But I shall have re... re... reven... I can't say it!
Crystalline: *puts hand on his shoulder and whispers* Then spell it.
Qubalt: R-e-v-e-n-g-e! *walks off with Crystalline comforting him*
Triezio: *grabs Wuliet's hand* Why fair maiden I have sinned!
Wuliet: PERVERT!! *hits him with a cup* PERVERT!!!
Triezio: Hey! Ouch! Stop! OW! Play along Wufei!
Wuliet: NEVER! *takes sword from under his dress* DIE!!
*Juugo runs onto the stage, hits Wufei over the head, and takes the
sword away. Wufei is stunned*
Triezio: *grabs Wuliet* Why maiden I have sinned! Please take my...
my... WOW!
Wuliet: *escapes Triezio's hold* What?!
Triezio: How did you get such big breasts!? You didn't have them before!
Wuliet: *hits him over the head* THAT WOULD BE THE WATER BALLOONS YOU
IDIOT!
Triezio: Oh. Well, there um... nice.
Wuliet: PERVERT! NURSE MAXWELL!! CRYSTALLINE!!! HELP ME!!!!
Triezio: No! That's not what I meant!
*Nurse Maxwell and Crystalline walk in*
Crystalline: What troubles you Wuliet?
Nurse Maxwell: What's wrong?
Wuliet: *points to Triezio* HE'S A PERVERT! KILL HIM!!
Nurse Maxwell: Gladly! *takes out scythe* DIE!!
Crystalline: DUO!
Triezio: HELP!
Juugo: No! NO!! NO!!! *Grim Duo winks*
Quatre: Calm down Juugo.
Juugo: I'll kill them! *Juu, Juuni, Juusan, and Juuhachi hold her back*
*Trocurtio enters*
Trocurtio: ...... I forgot my lines. *sweatdrop* maybe I should have
been something else...
*Heevolio walks over to the fight*
Heevolio: Idiots.
Nurse Maxwell: Well at least we don't wear tights like you do!
Heevolio: *grunt* You shall die! *throws desks at them*
Juugo: NO!!!!!
Triezio: I'VE GOT PROPANE!! *soaks stage in it*
Wuliet: SO!? I've got FIRE!!
*everyone stops*
Wuliet: *laughs insanely* This... is... for making me... the girl!!
Juugo+Crystalline: NO! You kisama!
*Wufei throws torch next to insane Trieze*
Audience: *All run away*
Crystalline: *Grabs Duo and Quatre and shields them* Brace your selves!!!
*Big explosion occurs*
Trowa: *hack, hack* Great job. I plague all of your houses. *hack*
Hirashimi: Trowa-kun! Your hair!
Trowa: AHHH~!!!! *waves arms in circles*
Duo: CRYSTALLINE!! Wake up!!
Quatre: Is she okay?
Duo: The roof collapsed on her! I don' think she's 'okay!!'
Megan: Quatre!! Are you okay!
Quatre: Yeah sis. I'm fine.
Trieze: My hair!!!
Wufei: My... dress!! Crystalline~!!
Quatre+Megan: Our stage!!
Heero: My gun!!
Minna: Get over it.
Heero: *cries*
Minna: It's okay Hee-chan.
Juugo: You will DIE WUFEI!!! I'M GONNA SEND YOU TO HELL!!!!
Androids+Cyborgs: *chanting* Go Juugo! Go Juugo!
*Jim walks in*
Jim: Wasn't Gene supposed to be the friar? ...Juugo? Are you okay?
Juugo: Heh... Heh... Heh... HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Wufei: We're all...
Trieze: Going...
Grim Duo: To hell! *flies around Duo's head giggling*
End.
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