AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Gretchen writes a letter to Dawson :)
RATING: TV-PG
SPOILER: Eastern Standard Time
DISTRIBUTION: My site, http://planetinconsistency.homestead.com will feature this story and all my other DC works in a few weeks
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters within - they are the brainchild of Kevin Williamson, one of my idols
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Don't ask, don't complain, just read and send CONSTRUCTIVE commentary 'cause I'm sick of whiny people yelling at me for this or that.
AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: Does anyone else wonder just how desperate the series writers were with this title? It's pathetic.4/19/01 - 6/18/01
Dear Dawson,
At first, I thought this would be so cruel. Leaving you in the middle of nowhere with no money and no phone. I'd be gone forever, and the only thing you'd have left to remember me by is this letter.
I'm probably crazy, but I couldn't do it.
I couldn't leave, because I care about you too much to hurt you like that, even if space is probably the best thing for us right now.
I decided to write the letter anyway, because I knew it would make me fell better, even if I never show it to you, which I probably won't.
It's just that.....I love you, Dawson. From the moment I opened that letter you left on my porch, the one you wrote me when you were twelve years old, I knew.
I knew that I was in love with you.
It's so very soap opera of us. So Days of our Lives or All My Children. I came home for a vacation and wound up falling in love with my little brother's best friend. The boy who used to make faces when I painted my toenails at the kitchen table, and who told me I had dog breath when he was only seven.
At first, I thought you were only interested in me to piss the Hell out of Pacey. Why wouldn't you do something like that? He stole Joey right out from under you. Dating me and then dumping me would break my heart and infurirate Pacey. Two birds, one stone.
I didn't think you were serious about me, which is why I kept my distance for song long. And then you left me that letter...
I'm, not gonna go on and on and on about nothing. I'm just going to tell you that I was afraid. I am afraid.
I'm afraid of getting hurt, and that's why I was going to leave.
I think it may also have been because this teensy, tiny part of me wanted to hurt you. I wanted to save myself and at the same time, punish you for loving two girls at the same time. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, because you do. You're crazy about Joey and you're always going to love her. That's life.
I just hope there's some room left in your heart for me.
I think I also thought that if I left, if I took the time to write this letter and then hitchhiked back to Capeside, I'd somehow forget about how much I care about you between her and there, and it wouldn't hurt me to lose you because I never had you in the beginning.
Except that isn't true. Love hurts. I think that's half the point. The pain leads to happiness and vice versa.
Sitting here, watching you sleep, I'm wanting to stay.
I'm going to stay.
It feels right to be here. WE feel right.
I know it's not forever. I know it won't last, maybe not even six months, but I'm staying anyway.
Because I love you.
Love,
Gretchen