Return of Crazy Murder Fan - S1 E5

Part 1 of 4

DI Poole sits at his desk, poring over a cold case in his usual solemn mien but in a most unusual way. Yes, his suit is professional and magazine-perfect. Yes, his personal grooming is flawless. And, yes, his eyes are as sharp as ever… but… his feet are up on his desk and his trim ankles are crossed and his eyes spend quite a lot of time looking across the room…

… where DS Bordey works at her own desk, keeping her head down, and indulging him as he reads aloud the more salacious aspects of the file he is reading. As he does so, she can't help but notice that the soles of his shoes are spotless. They look brand-new and store-fresh. How does he do it? She shakes her head and scoffs. It doesn't matter HOW he does it. He simply DOES. What a wonder he is. She rolls her eyes at his gleeful tone and tunes back in to his chatter.

"It says here that the LeParc plantation was the scene of a most scandalous swindle that resulted in the death of the swindler by the swindlee in a duel." He looks up, "Did they still duel in the 1890's?" Camille shrugs and keeps on writing. He watches her happily for a few moments then returns to his page, "Hmm, the LeParc family then left the island under the cover of darkness, never to be seen again and… hmm, hmm, hmm…"

Whatever he is reading now has taken up all his attention and she sighs. She likes being the focus of his attention but he is still the Chief of Police and so must not shirk his duties. Not even for her. She sighs again. Thank goodness he's just Richard Poole when we are at home otherwise… the thump of his feet hitting the floor startles her and she looks up, "What? What is it?"

"The swindler, the one killed in the duel, his name was Francoise Louis du St-Rémy." He looks up, frowning, "You don't think he's related to… um, you know…?"

She frowns back, "Well, if there was a crime committed then I'd say yes. That whole family is no good!"

He nods absently, computer keys already clacking rapidly as he begins checking facts. Ten minutes later he sits back with a huge sigh. "Well now," he huffs, then again, "well now, that IS a strange coincidence." He raises an eyebrow at her and waits.

She holds out for almost a minute before slapping her pen down and raising her chin in defiance and giving him her familiar laser stare, "Oh, what is it? You don't believe in coincidences and you're dying to tell me so just tell me already!"

He smirks, totally satisfied with his effect on her. He sits back, laces his hands across his now much-flatter stomach, and smiles. Yes, he is totally satisfied in all things Bordey and NOW he gets to lecture her a bit! Which he loves. Bonus! "Yes, Francoise Louis du St-Rémy is the great great great uncle of the current St. Remy heir but, even MORE interestingly; the LeParc family are the direct ancestors of OUR Miss Park."

Camille sits up sharply, "No! What are the chances?" The she fixes a gimlet eye onto him, "And what do you mean OUR Miss Park?"

He begins shuffling papers, blushes faintly, checks his watch, glances out the door, "Oh, um, nothing, nothing at all really, just a figure of speech, isn't it time for lunch?" He gives her a sideways look to see how she's taking this.

She narrows her eyes at him. She isn't taking any of it at all! "Mmm, well, yes, I could do with some food right now as I suspect I will need all my strength to deal with not one but TWO rivals for your affections!" She stands, snap-clicks, "OK, you, let's go. You need tea and I need carbs."

He gives her a deadpan look before slowly rising to his feet. He straightens his tie as he comes around the desk, muttering, "Really, Camille, you must stop doing that. I'm not a trained animal, you know."

As she falls into step with him and they head for the front door, she pats his backside, making him veer slightly away but she takes his arm and draws him back, "Oh, no? Well, you seem pretty well-trained to ME! But, then, I'm biased as I have inside information, don't I?"

He purses his lips, stands aside to let her step out first before closing the doors behind them, "I am not going to dignify your frankly scandalous remarks in any way whatsoever!" He snorts quietly, "Rivals! As if women are queuing up to get to know me. Oh, Camille, stop teasing."

She laughs, takes his arm again, and they start down the stairs, "All right, I'll stop, for now, but I can see it plain as day on your face. You have a puzzle to solve, you are pleased, and I am pleased that you are pleased." She hugs his arm, "Oooo, nothing is sexier than a shy man… except maybe a shy man who loses all his manners when we're alone together."

He glares at her from under his lashes again and bites his lip harder but he doesn't answer. He doesn't have to and it would do no good to argue anyway… because she's right. She's always right.

Over lunch at La Kaz, Richard outlines the bare bones of the cold case. Suzie Park's great great grand-parents lost the family plantation over a double-cross with Octavia St. Remy's family in the 1890's. The LeParc's left the island and no one could trace them to return their property once a sworn witness admitted he'd been threatened and bribed to perjure himself. The St. Remy family was given temporarily governance and the years passed and soon people forgot and nothing was ever done to return the land to its rightful owners.

Once back in the office, Camille insists Richard call Miss Park immediately.

He holds the phone out to Camille, "Why me? YOU do it! Please?"

She backs up, waving him off and laughing, "Oh, no! Not me! She'll want to hear YOUR dulcet tones, not mine." She draws up her shoulders and coos softly, "Oooo, Inspector, how nice of you to call."

He flushes and stabs at the phone-pad, "Honestly, I bet she won't even remember who I…" His head shoots up suddenly and a nervous grin flashes across his face, "Ah! Oh, um, Miss Park? Miss Suzie Park? I didn't expect you pick up on the first ring and…"

An eyebrow goes up, "Well… well, that's remarkable, you memorizing the station phone number like that. Not many people can…" The other eyebrow goes up, "What's that? Why, yes, yes it is… how odd that you recognize my… um, no, I'm at work actually, why would I…"

Now both eyebrows drop and he frowns, "Oh, yes, well, um, I'm actually calling about some information I've uncovered about your family's past…" Now he runs a finger beneath his collar and rasps, "Yes, yes, um, no, I wasn't specifically looking into YOUR past but I've found something that I…"

His eyes have glazed over at this point and he has turned his back to the helplessly laughing Camille who cannot stifle her mirth. She staggers over to his rigid back and collapses against him, giggling and hanging onto his shoulders as he continues to try to make headway with his phone call.

End – part 1

*I bet you thought I'd forgotten all about Ms. St. Remy, eh? Non, non, she lurks still is a few more stories, some I haven't even written yet!*