Chapter 29: /gamemode s

We sat there for a while, locked in an embrace. No words were shared between us at first, but I could feel how staggered Alex was. She broke the silence, but her speech was unusually shaky. Not that mine was any better.

"Steve...did you... Did you really remember?"

"I did, Alex. I saw and remembered so many things... What we built; what we shared; what we went through... But I don't know if..."

Enunciating my thoughts took far more effort than I was expecting. Alex showed understanding, thankfully. She broke the embrace, but kept her hands on my shoulders.

"Take your time. I can wait all night if I have to," she stated confidently.

"I don't know if...I have the full picture. Those visions felt so foreign, like they belonged to someone else..."

She glanced to the side before nodding slowly.

"I understand. I'm on the same boat, myself."

She sat down next to me, and Sunbeam rested on her lap. The allay was looking up at us with interest. I briefly wondered how much of our speech she could understand, but didn't dwell on it; there were more pressing topics to think about. With some mental bracing, I felt ready to talk.

"I'd like to tell you what I saw," I started.

"I'm listening."

I gave her a very detailed description of my visions. Unfortunately, the events weren't quite as streamlined when I tried to put them into words as they were when I saw them.

There were a few details that I definitely remembered, but there were also others that I couldn't tell whether they were real or not. Fortunately, Alex would supplement with her own knowledge. On that note, I helped her by telling her things she had no memories of.

Ultimately, we ended up with a concise, yet clear idea of what had happened. We used to belong to a kind of immortal, benevolent, and almost omnipotent people, that became mortal by a twist of fate. Even though I felt strangely distant toward the facts, just thinking of my encounter with the Wither brought back some unwanted emotions...

Anyhow, this seemed simple to understand, but it was very difficult to realize and internalize. There were moments where I still couldn't believe what I was saying and hearing. At least I found solace in the fact that Alex was having similar trouble accepting this.

Well, no matter what our attitude was, history wasn't going to change. Once we were done with the review, we stayed silent again. Sunbeam fell asleep shortly. She had done a good job of listening, so she deserved some rest.

"...So," Alex spoke up quietly. "In the end...those endermen...saved us, didn't they?"

It was a strange thought to have, but in the end, it was probably true. Our former friends had saved us. It was a shame that I couldn't remember their names, or even what they looked like, though.

"I guess? We'd be one of them now if they hadn't pushed us off..."

I didn't want to think of that moment anymore, so I didn't say anything else.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"...I'm feeling a strange weakness, for some reason."

"That's normal. Enchanting is taxing on the body, because it subtracts a few levels off you almost instantly, so it's only natural you feel that way."

Checking my level, I could see that she was right. I was now three levels lower than I was before. What a strange way to finally learn what their purpose was...

Alex scooped up Sunbeam in her arms, and rose to her feet.

"We should end it here for tonight. Take some rest, Steve."

"Okay..."

It was night by the time we left the hidden enchanting room. We split off in the hall, but before the distance between us could grow too big, Alex called out to me.

"Could you...please join me for breakfast tomorrow? I eat in the office on the first floor, past the cell where you first saw the allays."

"Yeah, I'll join you," I replied without a second thought.

"...Good night, Steve."

"Good night, Alex."

As I laid on my bed and closed my eyes, my thoughts wouldn't stray from the unearthed knowledge. Even as I tried to clear my head, I couldn't help but think how much sense this all made.

For as long as I could remember, I always felt some sort of familiarity toward the world. Mining, crafting, the names of animals, even the very feel and look of the terrain felt natural to me, despite how I didn't have anyone to explain these things to me.

At first, I assumed it was just instinctual. Now, I knew there was more to it than that. There were more things my mind wanted to conjure, but at this point, I just wanted to rest. I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

...

...

It was very early in the morning when I woke up, and the third time in a row where I actually felt well rested. Who knows how long that would last...

Yesterday's events rushed back to me within seconds, my promise to eat with Alex being no exception. As I headed to the first floor, I felt strange at how naturally her real name came to me. Her previous alias barely crossed my mind. It was...reassuring, in a way.

Once I got past the groups of illagers and reached the hall, I decided to check on the cell that held the allays captive. It felt like a long time since I last set foot in that cobblestone room, but I still remembered the eeriness I felt. In hindsight, it was odd. If Alex had such a close bond with Sunbeam, then why did she keep the allays confined?

Right as I finished that thought, the cell's appearance made me do a double take. Its outline and layout were the same, but it didn't look like a cell anymore. The walls were now made of birch planks and cobblestone, while some of the iron bars were replaced with glass panes.

The inside of the cell was now properly lit, allowing me to see that the floor was covered in multicolored carpet, ranging from blue, to white, to orange and pink. There was also a jukebox that was playing a cheery tune, and a bookshelf.

The 'imprisoned' allays saw me, but didn't pay me much attention. Most of them were too focused on passing paper balls to each other, and shooting them through make-shift hoops. Others were reading books that were spread out on the floor. It was peculiar how much the cell resembled a child's bedroom.

Even more surprising was that Sunbeam was playing with the others. There was a strange aura around her that allowed me to recognize her among the rest. It was an interesting spectacle, and I was happy to see her have fun with her kind.

Putting that detour aside, I got back on track. After reaching the end of the hall and taking a right corner, I got to the office. It was a small room, of a design philosophy similar to the other rooms. There were two tables made of cobblestone, but one of them was way taller than the other, and had a single wooden staircase of similar height to act as a chair.

Alex, who had arrived earlier than me, was sitting at the shorter and wider of the two tables, which had one chair on the long side, and another on the short side. On top of the table were two red tulips, planted in pots. All in all, I could see how this room could serve as a dining room for one or two people. It had a cozy feel to it.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too."

I sat down next to her, as she readied our breakfast. I offered to help her, but she declined.

"Thank you for coming. I usually eat alone," she said while laying some cookies, a couple milk buckets, and bread in front of us.

"Don't mention it."

We started eating wordlessly. I tried to come up with something to talk about in between bites, but wasn't sure where to start. The person I was eating with wasn't a stranger to me, nor was I to her, but at the same time, it was clear that we weren't as close as we once were.

This made conversation trickier than it needed to be. Small talk would feel disingenuous, but at the same time, would it even be a good idea to jump straight into the heavy topic of our pasts this early?

...

"Ah, I forgot to give you back your sword last night," I pointed out and offered her the blade.

"You may keep it. I have one of my own anyway."

"Alright, then. Thank you."

"..."

"By the way, I noticed that you renovated the allays' room."

"In actuality, I changed it back to what it was," she replied after taking a sip of milk.

"Why did you make it look like a cell in the first place, then?"

"It's...not really a reason I'm proud of, but I did it so you'd feel bad for them. They weren't happy with me taking their stuff..."

"Why did you want that?"

"It was...a test to see if you were as empathetic as I remembered... I also did it to see if you'd form a special connection with one of them, like I did."

There was a very subtle tint of guilt painting her words. All things considered, what she did wasn't that serious from my understanding, but maybe she just loved the allays to the point where she didn't want to sadden them.

"Well, in any case, you took a gamble. For all you knew, I could've been a totally different person."

"Perhaps..."

"Anyway, I can't say you didn't succeed. I did grow close to Sunbeam."

She smiled subtly, and turned her head away.

"That's true. I didn't expect her to grow attached to you too, but I'm glad for it."

We resumed eating. As we did, I realized that what I said wasn't totally correct. Although not completely different from my former self, I couldn't really identify with that optimistic and care-free person anymore...

"Alex, we're not the same people we used to be, are we?"

"Why do you think that?"

"I just can't really relate to the person I once was."

She thought about my answer for a minute, and responded with a frown.

"No...we're not. Sometimes, I think back to how naïve and obnoxious I was... It'd be foolish to deny the changes we've endured. It's just how it is."

"..."

She finished her meal earlier than me, but to my surprise, she didn't leave.

"Fortunately, I took the day off and let Matilda in charge, so we'd have time to talk," she commented offhandedly, as if she read my mind.

"It must be a hassle to run an operation like this one, I'd imagine."

"It can be, but I've got ways to keep everyone at bay. Besides, things have been getting a little more laid back as of late."

"That's good to hear."

I finally finished eating, and decided that this much small talk was enough. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Alex, would you please tell me what happened in the time frame between our awakenings? How did you end up in this position?"

She placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her crossed hands. Her gaze was focused on a random point on the wall.

"It's a very long story, but I'll retell it to the best of my ability. Are you sure you're ready to hear it?"

I nodded, and she cleared her throat.

"Just like you, I awoke with no recollection of who or where I was. I was merely guided by instincts, and a feeling of faint familiarity. For the longest time, I was wandering and exploring the world, with survival being my main motivator. Hunting, mining, crafting, and building shelters where what I'd do the most. Did you do the same?"

"Yes. So far, we acted identically."

"Interesting. In that case, I assume you've had your fair share of close calls?"

I confirmed her guess by synoptically describing that one days-long mining expedition I went on.

"I had something similar happen to me," she said. "I was left in pretty rough shape, the worst I've been in. Had daylight come any later, I probably wouldn't be here..."

She paused for a moment, but continued shortly after.

"With some shambling, I stumbled upon the village that would eventually be known as 'Cornelia'. I dragged my feet over there, hoping I'd find refuge, or at least shelter. That's when I met the villagers. I was happy at first, thinking they'd help me..."

"...Then, what happened?" I asked after a moment of silence. She clenched her fists, and continued in a far louder tone, which startled me.

"I was hunted! On the spot, they commanded their two golems to kill me!"

"Seriously!?"

"Just...thinking about it, along with everything else I'd learn about them, evaporates any amount of remorse I feel for what we did to them."

Up to that point, a part of me was still doubtful of what I had learned about the villagers. For some reason, I had still clung onto what my first impressions of them were. But now, I was certain she spoke the truth.

"...Alex...I'm sorry you had to go through that. Why would the villagers even do such a thing?"

"That's something I'll touch upon later, but there's still a few things I have to say before we get there."

"Right... Go ahead."

"...After a couple days of wandering, I felt exhausted. Monsters were taking their toll on me, but I never felt safe enough to settle down somewhere. In hindsight, I was just being paranoid, but I couldn't handle being alone in a world where basically everything is out to get you. Would I be wrong in believing you got luckier in that aspect?"

"No, you wouldn't be..." I said awkwardly. I had met my allies earlier than she did hers. She knew the answer to that question though, so I didn't know why she asked.

"I'm glad. Really, I am. I needed and wanted someone to support me, but until that point, I was alone. So, in a way, I'm happy you didn't have to go through that."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, but I appreciated her concern. I settled for a few nods, and she picked up from where she left off.

"This nomadic lifestyle of mine continued for many days, until one noon, I passed out from fatigue in the middle of a field. When I woke up, I was in the mouth of a cave, near the foot of a hill. I wasn't alone, however. The one who had saved me was sitting next to me. It was my mentor I told you about, if you remember."

"The one you built that wool statue for?"

"Yeah, him. He was the evoker before me, as well as the first person to be banished from Cornelia. He took me under his wing, along with the other illagers, and that's how I became a part of this group. He taught me a lot about the world..."

"That sounds fortuitous," I commented. She merely nodded.

"One day, he told me what led to his exile. I learned a lot of things that day. Things I wasn't certain of their credibility. Doesn't that sound familiar?" she asked with a slight smile.

"A little too much... So, what did he tell you?"

"...He told me what happened to our kind once we became mortals. Tell me, did you see anything relevant in your vision, other than the endermen?"

"No, that's everything I learned about what happened to them."

"In that case, the visions I had when my memories were restored were very similar to yours. We only got half the story, however, because only the people who were in Aether during the Ender dragon's hatching met this fate.

My mentor bestowed upon me the knowledge of what happened to those who were here, in this dimension. He had accumulated as much data as he could get his hands on. Some of the early humans, not used to the concept of mortality, died in tragic ways. So tragic in fact, that it turned around and became almost hilarious – to me, at least."

"How?"

Her narrating grew a little livelier at this point, but that couldn't have prepared me for the bombardment that would ensue. Alex spoke as though she were reading from a list.

"Some forgot about their health indicators. Others died of starvation. Others died of falling from great heights. Others fell from small heights, but died anyway due to previous injuries. Others mined straight down, and ended up falling through a ravine and hitting the ground too hard. Others were blown up by creepers. There were some especially sad cases of people suffocating in gravel, or sand. It's honestly insane in just how many ways people died."

I suddenly started to feel very grateful for the survival instincts I had. Perhaps my memory loss had made me act more cautious than I otherwise would have. On the flip side, I felt a little concern for Alex's sense of humor...

"Right... Is this going somewhere...?"

"Be patient, please," Alex continued. "When we humans die, we don't turn into smoke like other creatures – or at least, not most of the time. The vast majority of the deceased humans' bodies decayed, but didn't truly die. Instead, they were doomed to an endless cycle of respawning. Can you guess where this is going?"

I could've made an educated guess, but I preferred to be told outright.

"The zombies and the skeletons are all that remains of our kind, Steve. Well, maybe that's not quite right. That's all that remained of their corpses. But, while the body of a human can oftentimes become an undead, the soul takes the form of an allay."

Running the new information through my head, I came to the conclusion that, in hindsight, this was not as out-of-nowhere as I had initially thought. The allays and the undead bared some remarkably human traits.

Even so, getting confirmation on their true nature was astounding. I took some time to think about the ramifications of this, before asking, "Does this mean that Sunbeam used to be someone we knew?"

"It's likely, although it's basically impossible to tell with what we know now."

"..."

"Is something the matter?"

"It's taking me a while to process all this...but I'm happy you're giving me answers. So, is there anything else you have to tell me?"

"There is, so sit tight. Now you know what became of those who perished, but here's what happened to those who survived; the dragon's curse advanced so much, to the point where the humans lost their ability to break and place blocks. Eventually, they couldn't even wield tools. When that happened, their appearance changed."

'...No way...Surely you don't mean...'

"They looked indistinguishable from each other. And that's how the villagers, and later the illagers came to be."

"Wait, do the villagers even know that? Because they treated me as a stranger at first..."

"The majority of them don't. They belonged to the second generation of people who lived in Cornelia. To get back on track, the only ones who are at least aware of the possibility, are the Council members and my mentor."

"Alright, that makes sense."

I couldn't find any discrepancies in her words, so I let her go on.

"My mentor was very invested in their past. He would spend days salvaging any tangible relic we left behind, desperately trying to restore their former selves. The council members were on the same page with him...at first..."

I waited for a few moments, until enough time passed that let me know that she was hesitating to keep talking. Her look hinted at the battle that was raging in her mind.

"Alex, are you okay?"

She got up from the chair in a quick motion.

"Follow me. I'll show why my mentor met the fate he did."

She led me through hallways and staircases, and in the meantime, she talked about the allays' inability to pass through solid blocks, as well as use weapons. It was a strange remark, and I couldn't tell where she was going with this. Not that that was something new...

It took us some time, but we reached the third floor's big library. At the end of an aisle, Alex mined away a totally inconspicuous block from the floor, which revealed a hidden trapdoor that was covering a descending ladder.

She climbed down the wooden ladder, and once she reached the bottom, I followed. As I was doing so, my mind started to race. What could possibly be down there, so hidden?

At the bottom, was a narrow hallway with floor made of wool, that led to a dark oak door. Alex opened the door, and told me to talk as quietly as possible while we were inside. Complying, I stepped inside the room.

It was about as small as the enchanting room, if not a little smaller. The air was stale. The walls, the floor, and even the ceiling, were covered in dark gray wool, illuminated by a single redstone torch. In the center of the room was a glass case, which contained a creature of sorts.

It bared some resemblance to an allay in terms of body type, size, clothing and aura. Unlike an allay, this one was a dull gray color instead of a vibrant blue. That was about all I could make out, for it was laying down in a curled position. Upon further examination, it was clutching an iron sword in one of its hands.

"What is this?" I whispered.

"The result of my mentor's work, unfortunately... Come on, I'll tell you about it outside."

We exited the claustrophobic chamber, and resumed our discussion at one of the library's tables. Thankfully, no one was around.

"The creature you just saw is called 'vex'. My mentor's powers allowed him to experiment on allays in an attempt to give at least some of their abilities back to them. If he had been successful in his efforts, he would've applied his findings to the villagers."

"I mean no offense, but something tells me he wasn't very successful..."

She shrugged in indifference, but she was having trouble holding up that façade.

"Depends on who you ask. For him, it was a resounding success. For the villagers, a complete catastrophe. This...might be the only time in my entire life where I agree with them..."

"Why? What's so bad about the vex?"

She took a sad expression.

"The vex... It's a savage creature, Steve. Sure, it can wield weapons, become incorporeal, and even mine to some degree...but it's so vicious... It can attack anything an evoker commands it to, but often times, it just goes completely berserk, and slaughters anything in sight. It doesn't even live for very long... This one's the only one that survived, due to its comatose state."

I could see the person that was sitting before me lose her composure again.

"Alex, you can't tell me your mentor was okay with this. Experimenting on allays and turning them into killing machines can't be right."

"I know. You don't need to tell me. It's clear he didn't see it that way, though. 'The end justifies the means' was his philosophy. I owed a lot to him, Steve, but...I don't know how to feel about him... Anyway... Where was I?"

"...You were telling me about the Vex's attributes."

"Right. Anyway, when the villagers saw this, they took immediate action. They banished him, and his creations. From then on, it became law for any civilian not to speak of or learn about the past to prevent another calamity. Since then, fear, lust for power, and hate took over them."

Hearing all this, I probably figured out why they attacked Alex on sight. She was probably a living reminder of the past for them, and therefore, a menace. It hurt to think about.

"You wouldn't happen to know about the prophecy, would you?" I asked.

"The prophecy, from my understanding, was made up by the first generation of humans as a way to give themselves hope. Since it has piqued the interest of the younger generation, the Council probably had a harder time maintaining its power."

"I see."

"In any case, my mentor one day passed away, and I inherited his powers. Some time passed, some more recruits came along, until finally, we got word of two humans who were living in Cornelia. You know the rest."

Silence ensued. I lost track of time after a while, but there was still something nagging at me.

"Alex, when you spoke about the vex, you seemed pretty on-edge. Did something happen?"

"No," she quickly dismissed my question. I wasn't fully convinced, but I wasn't sure whether I should let this go, or press the matter. In the end, I figured asking one more time wouldn't hurt.

"Are you sure?"

"..."

"..."

"...I...had to use the power of the evoker to make a vex. It's not something I like to talk about, but...I'll make an exception for you. It was only one time, and I still sometimes think about it at night. An innocent allay, screaming in anguish, turned into a monster, attacked anything that moved, only to die moments later. All because of me..."

Her voice was slowly becoming unsteady. I let her know that she didn't have to tell me this if she wasn't feeling ready, but she ignored me. She clutched her cloak tightly, looking so absorbed in her own thoughts...

"Just the thought of Sunbeam, or any other allay going through that terrifies me. I hate these powers, Steve. They only destroy! With this operation I have to lead, it sometimes makes me feel like destroying is all I'm good for!"

"Alex..."

"Even people who are dear to me, I put through pain and fear, like you, or Vincent, or my other followers! It's horrible!" She removed her cloak with a lightning-fast motion.

"Alex!"

"Sometimes I feel like the world would be better if I didn't exist at all!"

"Alex!"

That finally seemed to have snapped her out of it. I had never seen her act like this.

"What?"

I had to think of a good way to say something that would get through to her, but I had to be careful. I was afraid I'd make things worse. With a slow, yet determined voice, I started.

"It doesn't have to be that way! You can still improve, and make something better out of yourself. You don't have to let your past dictate the present. The same applies to both of us; does who we used to be back in Aether affect us now?"

"..."

"The answer is no. So why let that vex incident affect you? I'm sure you've learned from that experience."

"..."

Unfortunately, I was running out of fuel. I had to find a good way to finish this.

"You are... You can...You can grow past your powers."

More silence. Her face was neutral, like the majority of the time. And yet, inexplicably, she started giggling.

"What?"

"Earlier," she answered once her fit was over, "you told me we are not the same people we used to be. I don't doubt that that's true. Of course, I'm not the same person I used to be."

'Alright, she's getting what I'm saying.'

"But, maybe you haven't changed quite as much as you think," she stated with a small smile.

"In what way do you mean?"

"That just sounded like something you'd say... I'm happy to see that, even with everything you've been through, you're still such a sweet, caring, and genuine person."

"..."

"I'm sorry," she said with a calm visage.

"For what?"

"For this."

In one swift motion, she leaned in and pressed her lips on mine. Her eyes were closed, but mine were wide open. Before I could pull back, or even let myself go and return the act, she withdrew. The kiss was over in an instant, but I wasn't expecting its aftertaste to leave me soon.

"That was very selfish of me. I just...couldn't help it. I'm sorry again," she said, her face so devoid of emotion, as though she hadn't been the one who had just done that.

She didn't stick around for a response – not that I could come up with one. From the library's doorway, she said, "Your beard is very itchy, you know?"

And just like that, I was left alone, with the thoughts in my mind, and the warmth in my chest.

...

A/N: Another huge chapter. Hope you don't mind. Up next is Update 1.3. Unlike Update 1.2, which was geared more toward fixing already existing plot points, this one will focus on adding a few. I know I said in Update 1.1 that I had a good grasp on how I wanted the story to go – and I still do, but there are a few things that changed quite a bit, something I wasn't expecting. As such I'll need to accommodate, in order for this story to be the best it can be.

Thanks for reading!