I remember the first time I got one.
A book that is.
It happened when I was with Father Maxwell and Sister
Helen, when life for me might have been called normal. And when it seemed like
I might actually be happy and have something like a family. It wasn't a special
day, like Christmas or a birthday, because of course, I didn't know when I was
born so it was just a regular day. I remember she took me aside and told me how
proud she was of me for doing so well in school. I was the top in my class, did
you know that? Okay, so I was only in like second grade, but hey, I was top of
the class! I think she really wanted to thank me for not beating up any kids
lately so that she and Father Maxwell wouldn't have to be brought into the
principal's office again. Whatever the reason was, she told me to close my
eyes. She pressed something square and hard into my hands and then told me to
open my eyes. It was a book. I asked her what it was for, but she never really
told me. She just made me promise that I would read a chapter aloud at night to
her, and she'd help me with any tough words. I looked forward to every night
after that. But then those damned OZ bastards blew up any chances I had of a
normal childhood by bombing the church. Who gave a shit about some stupid fairy
tales after that, I certainly didn't. Nothing like what happened in those
stories would ever come true, and certainly not for someone like me.
It was my turn to venture out and get more supplies for
the safe house yesterday. I really think that it was Wu-man's turn, but I was
bored and wanted something to do so I said "sure, why not?" and headed out. It
was the middle of the day; most people were at work or at school so the streets
were pretty deserted. I bought what we needed, along with some extra stuff,
like Twinkies.
Hehe, the guys always get angry with me for getting them,
but for some reason the box is always empty by the end of the week.
And I don't eat Twinkies.
I had some time to kill before I was expected back
so I decided to wander around. I passed by this really old bookstore as I
wandered up the street. It was a really run down place, the other shops were
probably dying to have it torn down. I don't know why I did it, but I decided
to go inside. There was this elderly lady at the front desk, reading a book,
probably nothing else to do in a bookstore I guess, right? She smiled at me, I
smiled back, and then I began to wander up and down the aisles. It's amazing
how many different kinds of books there are. Factual books, fictional books.
Books on war, or animals, or people. Books about adventure, about love, about
horror. It astounded me. It really did. I don't really know why, but I got this
weird feeling when I was in there. Like I felt comfortable or secure being
surrounded by all these musty old books stocked up on shelves that looked like
they would break at any moment. It kind of bothered me as nice as the feeling
was, so I decided to high tail it out of there.
And there it was.
I almost cried, or got sick, not sure, I just know
that my stomach did a mess of flip-flops right then. I looked around the store,
no one was in there but me and the little old lady, and she was still reading
that book of hers. I swallowed hard and bent down to the shelf that it was on.
It's just a stupid book, I thought. But damnit, it's THAT book, Duo! I pulled
it out and brushed my hand against the cover to brush away the dust that had
collected on it. My hands were actually trembling, man, I am such an idiot
sometimes. I just stared at it for the next few moments until I finally came
back to my senses. This is so insane, I thought. I'm pathetic; fairy tales are
pointless, why do people read books anyway? But I was still standing in that
same stupid spot, in that stupid bookstore with that stupid book still in my
hand.
I bought it.
As soon as I came home I dropped the goods off in
the kitchen and snuck upstairs to the room Heero and I shared. Just my luck,
only three bedrooms in this safe house, and Heero and I are roommates. I
thought I had died and gone to heaven, if I actually believed in one, but
that's another story I suppose. Luckily Heero was out so I closed the door and
chucked the book onto the bed.
I had finished it before I had even gotten home.
It was funny in a way. I bought that old book for
who knows what reason and at first I wanted to just chuck it into some
trashcan. I don't know why, but I opened up the book and before I knew it, I
had reached the end of it and the house was coming into view. I couldn't
believe it. I had been thinking, I guess I'll read the first page at least, and
I did. But then I just couldn't stop. Seriously. Like some maniac could have
tried to run me over and I wouldn't have known because I was so engrossed with
this book. That stupid book. I leaned against the door and glared at it from where
I had thrown it on the bed. Who has time to live in fantasy worlds? I wondered.
Don't people know that those kinds of stories NEVER come true? I mean, what's
with the Happily Ever After crap I've heard are at the ends of a lot of those
books? A fairy tale ending? That would be like Heero saying I love you to me.
Or, what is it in Japanese? Aishiteru I think. Yeah, like that would ever
happen…
"Waste of money"
I muttered to myself as I glared at that book. Next
thing I know I hear Quatre calling out that dinner was ready, and I raced out
of the room and to the kitchen.
Normally I would annoy everyone by talking through
the entire meal. But, after having one helping of the food…I was bored. I mean,
I could have talked on and on about anything if I had felt like it. But, you
won't believe this, all I wanted to do was go upstairs and read that book
again! If there had been any other books in the house, I probably would have
read those too, but there weren't, so all I wanted to do was go back up to my
room. I forced a fake yawn, which made Quatre look at me.
"Are you all right, Duo?"
He asked me.
"Sure"
I said,
"But, I feel like getting to sleep early tonight.
Great dinner as always Quat, thanks."
And with that I put my dishes in the sink and rushed
up to my room. I knew the others probably thought that I was being lazy. Hey,
they could think whatever they wanted, I don't blame them though. I like
talking all of the time, and playing jokes and always smiling and annoying
everyone. It keeps my mind off anything depressing, and I think it helps the
other guys loosen up. So sure, they were probably talking right now about how
lazy I had been today, but I couldn't care less. I just had to read that book
again!
Sometimes I am a major idiot sometimes. Or baka is
what Heero calls me most of the time. I should have locked the door. I never
heard him come in.
"Duo?"
I froze. My first thought was 'damn, right during
the best part of the book!', and my second thought was 'ah crap, I've been
caught'. I know reading isn't bad, but for some reason I felt stupid being
caught reading a book in front of Heero. I quickly shoved it under my pillow as
he approached the edge of the bed.
"Why did you do that?"
He asked me. I faked innocence,
"Do what?"
He glared at me.
"Why did you hide that book?"
I opened my mouth, and then I shut it. Because I
felt stupid being caught reading a book? That would have been a lame answer. So
why did I hide it? I shrugged and froze again as he sat down on the bed. Oh
God, he was so close to me, I could have touched his arm and then maybe claimed
it was an accident.
"I didn't know you liked to read, Duo."
I shook my head,
"I don't…or I…I didn't. I mean, who has time to read
books? Most of them are stupid anyway, there are more important things to do
then sit around and read, right? And who believes in that fairy tale ending
crap? Just a waste of time…"
I muttered as I trailed off. That was the lamest
thing I think that I've ever said in my life. Next thing I know, Heero was
reaching behind me and had retrieved the book from under my pillow. I could
have died right then, and it took all of my will power not to jump him right
then. He stared at the book for a while, turning it over in his hands. And then
he pushed it into my hands.
"Read it."
He said.
Huh? Are you on crack or something Heero? Read the
book? Like aloud? To you???!!!! Instead of saying that, which would have
probably gotten me killed I just nodded numbly.
"Uh, sure, okay."
I leaned against the pillows and opened up the book.
And then I began to read, slowly at first because I was still trying to figure
out why Heero had asked me to do this. But then I totally forgot that he was
even there as I lost myself in the book.
I yawned. It must have been the middle of the night
because a few hours into reading Heero had turned on a light. Not like I had
noticed, I was still reading that book aloud. My eyes were starting to hurt
though and as much as I wanted to keep reading, I really wanted to go to sleep.
"Duo?"
I didn't know that he was so close to me. That he
had been leaning right up against me, his face only inches from mine. I turned
when he said my name and my lips brushed against his. I froze. Oh god, he's
gonna kill me or something now. But he didn't, which freaked me out even more.
"May I?"
Take me right here? Sure thing buddy. I just kept
staring at him, not sure of what to say. He reached out and took the book from
my hands. Oh, he wanted to read. Now I know he's on some type of drug, either
that or I am and I'm dreaming this whole thing up. And if I am, I hope that I
never wake up. He took the book and began to read from where I had left off.
Who knew that Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier who barely said anything had such
a great voice? I sank into the pillows as he read on, my eyelids slowly
drooping down. He finished the book a couple minutes later, and he leaned over
to put it on the nightstand next to me. He turned off the light, probably
thinking that I was asleep and he laid down there beside me in the dark.
"Duo?"
I feigned sleep,
"mmm?"
"Aishiteru, Duo"
My eyes opened wide and there he was, leaning over
me again. His face was so close that if I barely raised my head, our lips would
be touching.
"..what?.."
I have got to be dreaming, yes, this is a dream where
all my wildest fantasies come true.
"I said that I love you, Duo"
He repeated. Oh God, I don't think I'm dreaming. I
raised my head without really meaning to, and it happened.
Our lips touched.
I just stayed there, not sure of what to do, and
then I realized the he hadn't moved either. And then I felt him push me back
down, and his lips pressed against mine harder. He pushed his body down against
mine as we continued to kiss. At first it was slow since we had never done it
before. I opened my mouth to breath and then all of a sudden we were exploring
the insides of each other's mouth. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to pull
him even closer to me if possible. Finally we both had to pull up for air, and
we reluctantly pulled away. He laid down next to me again, but this time right
up against me, and he wrapped an arm around me. Instinctively I nuzzled closer
to him, resting my head against his chest.
"I love you"
I murmured, glancing up to look at him. And he
smiled. Heero Yuy actually smiled. Not a big one like I'm always giving people,
but it was still a smile. The sides of his lips were slightly turned up, and if
I had thought that he couldn't get even more beautiful, I was wrong.
"Thanks for letting me read."
He said softly,
"I guess we should read together more often, ne?"
If this is what'll result every time we do, then I'm
going to go buy that entire bookshop from that little old lady tomorrow. I
nodded, listening to his heartbeat as his chest softly rose and fell with each
breath as he fell asleep.
I guess fairy tale ending's can come true.
"Thank you for the book, Sister Helen…"
I said to the darkness, moving closer to my koi as I
drifted off to sleep.
~OWARI~
