"Shes gone" the words echoing around in Matts head, Amy still talking but he wasnt hearing it. "Ames, what do you mean shes gone? Where is she?" He asked as Amy replied "I dont know Matt. She left a note, im coming to you. Get everyone around, because this isnt like her" "Whats going on with her Ames? She wouldnt just leave Jas and Rubes, not unless it was an emergency" he asked as Amy sighed. "I really dont know Matt. Like i said, shes left a note but its so basic. I'll be at your place in twenty" she replied as they hung up, and quickly messaged those nearby to get to Matts place as soon as possible, with Matt setting up a skype call with Brooke and Elly. Oh Wills, what are you doing? Whats going on with you? he thought as he impatiently awaited the arrivals of everyone. Jeff and Trish arrived first, followed by Adam. "Matt, whats going on? Ames barely said anything in her message" Adam said as Matt called Elly and Brooke, who both asked the same question when they answered. "Lets wait till Amy gets here, she can explain better" he replied as he heard her car door close outside.
"Hey Ames, everyone is in here" Matt said as he met her in the hallway. "Do you want to explain or shall i start?" he asked as Amy replied "you start, i can try to fill in some blanks" as they headed into the living area. "You all wanted to know why you were called here tonight, as you know Willow hasnt been feeling great lately. Shes left Jas and Rubes with both myself and Amy for almost a week now so we decided to go check on her" Matt said as everyone listened intesely. "Ames went tonight and ill let her take over" "Ive just been to Willows place, lights were off and her car was gone. I went in the house, just incase she'd parked her car elsewhere and was in bed, but... she was gone." Amy said as Jeff said "What do you mean gone? Where is she?" "I dont know Jeff, all i found was this note, want me to read it?" Amy replied as everyone nodded.
To...
Im sorry. Im sorry i havent been around much lately, Ive had too much going on in my head and its killing me writing this.
Lucas has been playing on my mind alot, him showing up at the wedding didnt help. I know what he did to me was wrong, but i still need to talk to him. Maybe even give him a second chance. I wont know until we've talked.
This is the part where you can all hate me. Ive gone away for a while. For my own health and sanity. It was a very last minute decision and it all happened so fast. My thoughts were getting darker, verging on harming people i care too much about and i couldnt tell you. At one point my thoughts were so dark they began to tell me to hurt the girls, something i could never ever do. There were days where I just wanted to end everything, maybe that would have been easier...i'd be less of a burden to you all...
I cant tell you where i am, but i am safe. I'll contact you when im ready but for now, im where i need to be. Im away from the people i love the most in order to protect them. I know that as youre reading this, youre starting to hate me. I hate myself, more than you know but i do know that you'll watch over Jas and Rubes for me until i return.
Just know that i love you all and once again, im sorry.
Willow
"So where the hell is she?" Matt asked as everyone sat in a stunned silence. "I dont know Matt, but if you remember the last time Wills ran off she was pregnant with Jas" Jeff said quietly as Amy replied "I know Jeff, but as far as im aware the only person shes slept with recently is Lucas, even though it was unwillingly" "So once again, where is she?" Matt asked, feeling himself getting angry and frustrated. "I need air" he said as he stormed out into the garden, leaving everyone concerned about him. As Jeff got up to go check on his brother, Adam said "Leave him Jeff. I'll go" before heading out in to the dark night. "I know Matts frustrated, more for the girls than anything but hes right. Where has Wills gone?" Elly asked over face time. "Honestly El, i really dont know. Sounds like shes really been struggling lately" Amy said as she sat on the sofa, staring at Matt and Adam in the garden. "What about calling Officer Steninger? See if we can report her and the car as missing?" Trish suggested as Amy watched Adam in the garden, deep in conversation with Matt. "Ames? Hello..." Jeff asked as Amy snapped out of her brief daydream. "Sorry guys, im just worried about her. About what we tell Jas and Rubes" she said as Brooke piped up "You dont think something is going on with her and Matt do you? I mean the way he walked out of there..." "I dont know Brooke. Something isnt right though" Elly replied, before adding "Ames, if you need me up there for a few days to help with the girls, just say the word and im there" "Me too" added Brooke as Adam and Matt returned to the house.
"Matt... what the hell is going on?" Adam asked as he followed Matt into the cold night air. "Did something happen at the wedding, because that would explain a lot" he added as Matt blurted out "We kissed okay. Nothing more. Then after her spending the weekend here after Lucas...I thought we finally had stabilty for the girls and we were making ground for potentially rekindling what we had" Matt replied, sighing. "I wish she would have just come and talked to me" ""So there was more to that day i caught you at the wedding. Its understandable, emotions were high and you kissed. I know Wills was struggling a little at the wedding, both with Lucas and memories of your wedding..." Adam replied as Matt interrupted "But for her to go off like this Ads? Something is so wrong" "You love her, dont you?" Adam asked as Matt nodded "Matt, whereever she is, shes safe. She'll call when shes ready but right now, you have two little girls who need their dad" Adam added as Matt sighed, before the two men headed back inside.
"Still nothing from Wills Matt?" Jeff asked a week later as the twins played with Jasmine and Ruby. "Nothing. But she'll call when shes ready. Im more concerned with how the girls are taking her disappearing" Matt replied as the brothers sat on the sofa. "Ames is going out of her mind, im barely coping and i have no right to feel the way i do" he sighed as Jeff slowly began to piece it together. "Youre still totally in love with her, arent you?" he asked as Matt nodded "I never stopped. Willow has mixed feelings about things, so im not pushing it with her" Matt said before adding "Nothing has happened between us before you ask" "Wasnt going to Matt. But you know we called Laura who has put out an APB on Willows car" Jeff said as Matt sighed. "I just hope, whereever she is, she really is safe and hasnt done anything stupid" "She wont have Matt. You know her better than any one of us. Even when she got really low she wouldnt have ended it. Willow lives for Jas and Rubes" Jeff said as Max walked over to his dad wanting a drink. "I really hope youre right Jeff. I just... i dont think im ready to lose her" Matt said as he sighed. "Tell you what, why dont you guys stay for dinner? It'll keep the girls and i busy for a few more hours" he asked as Jeff nodded. "Sounds like a plan Matt. Trish is out with Ames, trying to take her mind off Willow for a while. Shall we ask Adam to join us?" Jeff replied as Matt nodded.
"Thanks for tonight guys. Its been really good for me and the girls having you here. Im starting to struggle with excuses when Jas asks where Wills is" Matt said a few hours later as the three men sat in the living area, each with a beer. "Ames is the same Matt. Ive been trying everything to keep her busy but theres days where she feels guilty about not seeing the signs" Adam said as Jeff replied "None of us did Ads. If we had then maybe we could have stopped her from disappearing" as Jeff and Adam conversed, Matt stared out into the dark garden. "Matt... Matt are you listening?" Jeff said as Matt sighed. "Sorry guys, what were you saying?" he asked as Adam repeated "Why dont we all have a day as a family? Get everyone together, the kids all playing together. All of us hanging out like we used to, get Brooke, Christian, Elly and Phil here..." "That actually sounds like a really good idea. It sounds like something she would do" Matt replied as Adam and Jeff smiled and laughed. "It actually is a very Willow thing" Jeff said as Adam said reassuringly "She will be back Matt. Willow lives for the girls and its pretty obvious that shes still in love with you" as the three men spent the night chatting away.
The days turned into weeks, it was almost the end of November and although they hadnt spoke of it, they were all still concerned that they hadnt heard from Willow. Matt was spending every second he wasnt on the road with Jasmine and Ruby, who had begun to ask him where Willow was and when she was coming home. Tonight was one of those nights. "Dada, whens momma home? Will she be home for santa?" Jasmine asked as she cuddled into Matt as they began to watch a movie. "I dont know Jas. I wish i did but i dont" Matt replied as he put his arm around his daughter, who said "I misses her dada. Ruby misses her. Do you misses her?" "I do Jas. But you know who will be here for Christmas?" he asked as Jasmine shook her head as Matt pointed to himself. "I'll be here Jas. So will Elly and Phil. Why dont me, you and Rubes all go out tomorrow for pizza and ice cream?" he said as Jasmine nodded as they watched the movie until Jasmine fell asleep.
Matt returned downstairs after putting Jasmine to bed and started looking at photos of him and Willow. Both old and new images making him smile, yet concerned at the same time. I thought we were good Wills. I thought you were happy, doing good. What changed? What set you off this time? he wondered as he stared at the photo in his hand. It was from Brooke and Christians wedding, focused on Matt and Willow dancing. Deep in conversation, smiling and flirting. Why didnt you tell us what was going on? Why didnt you tell me? Where are you Wills?" he thought as someone knocked on the door. "Ames? Whats going on? Everything ok?" he asked as he opened the door to his ex. "Can i come in Matt? I need to talk to you" Amy replied as she continued "Its about Willow" "Have you heard from her? Where is she? Is she ok?" Matt asked as they sat on the sofa, Amy shaking her head. "Not exactly. Laura called about an hour ago. The APB alert managed to locate Wills car. It was up in Philly" she said as Matt exclaimed "Philly? Shes in Philadelphia?" "Matt theres more." Amy said as Matt looked confused "The police in Philadelphia, they found her and spoke to her. They said she was annoyed, angry at us for trying to find her, but shes ok. She understood that we're worried about her, but she is safe and will call us when shes ready to talk" "Did they say where she was in Philly?" Matt asked as Amy shook her head. "She asked them not to tell us" she said as she continued "at least we know where she is, that she is safe and is doing ok" "So now we wait for her to call us? Ames remember the last time she ran off? We didnt see her for three years" Matt said frustrated by the lack of answers. "I know Matt but that was a different time, Wills was in a different place back then. We all were. But look at how far we've all come. You still love her, dont you?" "Of course I do Ames. I never stopped. But right now, that doesnt matter. Im worried about how her vanishing is affecting the girls" He replied as they heard Ruby waking upstairs. "You go see to her Matt. Ive got to head off anyways. Call us if you need anything." Amy said as she stood up and hugged him. "Stay strong Matt, she will call"
The days after the discovery of Willows car were long, hard and tough on everyone. The days turned into yet another week and before they knew it, it was December. The girls, mainly Jasmine, had started asking about Christmas again. "What do i tell them? Do i tell them the truth, that i dont know if Wills will be back or do i lie and say she may be coming?" Matt asked the group one night as Trish replied "I think you have to be honest with them Matt. Its what i would want if i was a kid" "I guess you're right. Will you guys be coming around?" he asked as everyone nodded. "Are we still heading back on the road day after tomorrow?" Adam asked as it was Matts turn to nod. "I need to tell Jas and Rubes tomorrow. At least its only for a few days and we're not travelling too far" he said as the group began to leave. Once he was on his own, he searched for a dvd which he found quickly and put it on. You were so beautiful the day we got married Matt thought as he watched and reminiced about that day almost two years ago. Where are you Wills? What have you gotten yourself into this time? he thought as his cell began ringing. 215... is that a Philadelphia number? he wondered as he answered "hello?" and as soon as he heard the person on the other side quietly sobbing he just knew it was her.
Willow had finally called.