CHAPTER 14

EPOV

I am in idiot. I realize that.

I realize that I've completely and royally just screwed up one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time. I'd insulted her. Offended her. Repeatedly. But more so, I recognized, too late, that I had betrayed her.

I could not even begin to rationalize everything. Everything I'd come to believe so strongly in my ever-failing search…everything I'd convinced myself so strongly…that was the fabrication. Bella wasn't a fraud. I gathered that. I understood it. But I couldn't pull my head out of my ass long enough to wrap my mind around what she was trying to tell me. And it was too late to take it all back. Regret was hitting me, hard. She couldn't stand the sight of me. She needed space. She needed me gone. And so, the one thing I could give her that she needed, was to leave. I didn't want to. How could I go to Seattle now? I couldn't focus on anything else.

I pick up my phone and call Tyler, our second lead on the current project, right away. On the third ring, he picks up.

"What's up Ed?" he's cheerful, in a good mood.

"I need to delay Seattle a day or two," I tell him. I don't greet him. This is urgent. I need time to fix what I surely just broke. "Can you be on site and loop me in until I get there?"

"Hold on," I hear some shuffling on his end. "What's going on? Are you ok?"

"Can you do this for me? Please?" I'm desperate.

"Yea, man," he tells me. "I've got it handled, don't worry about it. What's going on?"

"I can't explain right now," and where would I begin? "But thank you, seriously Tyler."

"Don't sweat it," he assures me. "But let me know what else you need, and it's done, ok?"

"Thank you," I tell him and end the call. I'm headed to Alice's. I knew she and Bella had become close friends since moving to Forks. If there was any way I could begin to fix my mess, maybe she would help me.

When I get there, I'm surprised to find most of my family is already here.

"Alice?" I'm knocking on the front door frantically. "Alice!?" The door opens and she's looking at me like I've lost my mind, no doubt caught off guard by my abrupt appearance and very likely state of disarray.

"What's going on?" she asks, stepping aside to let me in. "Are you ok?"

"I think I've just royally messed up," I tell her. I'm following her into the sitting room.

"Ok, you're scaring me," She pulls me to the couch and as nosy as my family is, of course they have gathered when they saw me. I look amess, no doubt. "What's going on?"

"I think I screwed up with Bella," I tell her. "No, scratch that. I did. I screwed up with Bella and I don't think I can fix it."

"Oh boy," Rose says, taking a seat in the love seat across from me. "How'd you screw it up?"

"I don't even know if I have words," I'm shaking my head. Thinking back on everything that happened in the short time I'd spent at Bella's. "I… she.. Charlie…spirits."

"Slow down," Jasper chimes in. "What about Bella and Charlie? Did you say spirits?"

"Bella can see spirits…"I'm finally saying the words out loud. I'm trying to wrap my mind around how that even sounds, coming from me.

"No shit, really?" Emmett exclaims. I frown. He believes it at go. Why could I not be more open minded with Bella? She wasn't some wacko I'd randomly met. Even if I didn't believe this to be possible… I could have handled it better for Bella. Jasper looks surprised by this information. Emmett is stoked. And Alice and Rose look like this is old news. Did they know?!

"Wait, you knew?" I ask Alice.

"Yea, I've known for a while," she tells me.

"I just found out yesterday," Rose shrugs. "It's legit though."

"Well you weren't so quick to believe it," Alice reminds her. "You did give her a hard time."

"Of course, I gave her a hard time," Rose says. "If she was ever going to tell Edward about it, I wasn't about to let another possible fraud trick him. And she isn't a fraud. So there's that."

I groan, dropping my head in my hands.

"How many people know?" I ask.

"The entire town…" Alice tells me. I look up at her, surprised.

"It didn't seem like there was much option in that one," Rose muses aloud. "Apparently her family goes back generations with this gift. So everyone just knows."

"And expect her to be at their beckon call 24/7," Alice adds. "It's ridiculous the pressure they put on her."

"She didn't tell me any of this," I tell them.

"Well what did she tell you?" Alice asks. "And why are you here and not with her? I figure you two would have a lot to talk about."

"She told me to leave," I tell them. "I didn't exactly…react well initially when she told me what she could do."

"You didn't believe her," Rose guesses.

"Considering your history with this topic, I'm sure Bella understood why it was hard for you to believe at first," Jasper assures.

"Bella understood that though," Alice shakes her head. "She's been trying to figure out how to tell you for the longest time. She was worried how you would react, knowing what you'd been through. She was afraid you'd think she was exploiting your pain and she'd lose you."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She'd been wanting to be more open and honest with me. She'd been trying to protect me and find a way to approach this cautiously and this is what I do? She put all her trust in me with her biggest secret, was vulnerable and I accuse her of being a fraud. The complete opposite of who she really was.

"How did you react?" Rose asks, suspicious. I avoid eye contact. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I was an asshole.

"Oh god Edward," Alice gathers my silence and takes it for what it is. She understands I seriously screwed up. "What did you do? What did you say?"

"Besides calling her a fraud just like the others. I might've asked how much she charges while fooling and lying to people," I hang my head down in shame.

"Oh no Edward," Alice says softly.

"I'm sure Bella understood where you were coming from," Emmett is trying to find a silver lining. He's failing. But he's trying.

"Not with this one," Alice shakes her head.

"How would you know?" Emmett asks. "Maybe there's still hope."

"There was a reason Bella chose not to date," she tells us. "And her biggest reason of all is she can't be with someone who doesn't believe in her. But she let you in Edward. I'm not sure how you're going to fix this one."

"She's stubborn," Rose agrees. "Much like you."

"What made you finally believe her?" Jasper asks.

"Charlie," I tell them.

"Oh Charlie showed up again?" Rose asks.

"You knew she'd been around?" I ask, surprised.

"I don't know much about before," Rose tells me. "But I know she was enjoying the show between you and Bella the other night." She giggles. My eyes go wide. She was there?

I think back to how intense Bella's and my connection became the other night by the fire. And recall one thing leading to another and we were on the couch until out of nowhere, Bella had screamed in surprise. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I figured maybe I went too far too soon. But looking back, she'd been taken off guard and kept looking almost angrily over my shoulder. Could that have been why she stopped us? Because Charlie was watching?

"Charlie was watching? She was there?" I ask, surprised.

"Ooo how much of a show did you two put on?" Emmett asks, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"None of your business Emmett," I shake my head. "Focus, please."

"She was," Alice laughs. "Bella read her the riot act after."

"Why wait all this time to tell me she's been around?" I ask. "Bella said Charlie didn't want me to know, but why?"

"Maybe because you never would have accepted things enough to open your heart to Bella," Alice says. "And Charlie wanted you with Bella."

"She did?" I ask.

"Yea," Alice smiles. "But that doesn't solve the situation you're in now. Clearly, you believe it now. But not initially."

"It's a big thing to wrap your mind around Alice," I tell her. "But I handled it like an asshole. You should've seen her face. She felt so betrayed. She wouldn't let me come close to her."

I couldn't stand what I had done. The pain I caused her. I wanted to make it right. But was there anything to make it right.

"Maybe just give her some space?" Alice suggests. "You're supposed to be going to Seattle, right? Maybe in a few days things will calm down and you two can talk?"

A ringtone goes off—Rose has a call. She excuses herself and leaves the room to take it.

"I put Seattle on hold for a couple days," I tell them. "Tyler's handling what's needed until I get out there."

"Ed, I can always go out there and handle it," Emmett tells me. "I know you're handling the main business in Seattle. But you wanted it that way before you had more of a reason to be here in Forks. Rose is going to Phoenix for work in a couple days for a week, I can handle Seattle while you figure out how to fix things with Bella."

"You're sure?" I ask. "You're not a fan of the commute."

"I'll stay at your place while she's away," he says. "It's not a big deal."

"So, what'd I miss?" Rose asks as she comes back in the room. If I'm not mistaken, she looks slightly worried after the phone call she just had.

"Emmett is going to handle Seattle for me so I can stay and make things right with Bella," I clue her in.

"You'll be in Phoenix anyway," Emmett tells her. She looks nervous.

"I mean It makes sense, we'd both be away for work," Rose says. "But I don't think you'll have much chance to set things right with Bella."

"Why's that?" I ask, taken back.

"Because she just called me," Rose tells us. "She knows I travel a lot for work and asked the best ways to get to Phoenix without her needing to get behind the wheel of a car."

"Phoenix?" I repeat. What's in Phoenix?'

"Yea," Rose says. "I told her I was leaving in a few days for work and offered her to just come with me. So she'll be out of town for a week."

"What!?" Alice asks surprised. "Bella would never leave, even for a week."

"I'm sure she goes away for vacation here and there," I offer. Maybe she needs time away and will come back and all will be ok…

"No, she's got it in her head that people in this town need her and she can't let them down," Alice denies.

"These people in town can use a harsh dose of reality with how they treat her," Rose says angrily.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "People in town love her."

Everyone's always been so friendly and happy whenever Bella was around. They gravitated toward her.

"Yes and they expect her to drop everything she's doing and start taking pictures, hoping she'll be able to communicate with whoever they're trying to communicate with," Rose shares.

"Don't you remember the restaurant?" Alice asks. "The woman all put out because Bella didn't have her camera?"

"Yea," I recall. "She was glaring at Bella the next day we were walking into town. All because she didn't have her camera? Why does she need her camera?"

"Because that's how they come through if they have a message." Alice says. It makes sense now why she took her camera and snapped a random picture earlier today.

"So otherwise, she can't communicate with them?" Emmett asks.

"Directly, no I don't think so," Alice shakes her head. "But she sees them. But she can't hear them clearly and the camera helps make the communication easier? Without it, it's constant distorted chatter. It's why she avoids crowds."

More and more things we'd encountered start to make sense. The crowds, how she'd been at the restaurant.

"Was the restaurant, I don't know, crowded?" I ask.

"Oh yea," Alice nods, looking sad. "She was pretty sick in the bathroom when I went to check on her. But she refused to call it an early night. Didn't want to ruin a good night out."

"That doesn't sound like a gift," Jasper muses. "It sounds like hell."

"Maybe going to Phoenix will be good for her?" Emmett thought.

"People lose loved ones every day. I don't think leaving Forks will eliminate her ability to see spirits," I shake my head.

"But people outside of Forks don't know what she can do," Rose points out. "She can get away from the pressure."

"But why Phoenix? Why now?" Alice asks.

"When I was there earlier, she was planning on going through letters her mother had been sending over the years," I remember. "She was looking for some clarity. I don't know for what but maybe her mother's in Phoenix?"

"Guess we'll find out." Rose shrugs.

"Maybe I should go too," I think out loud.

"What?" Alice asks, surprised.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Edward," Rose says. She didn't sound good on the phone. She sounded off. Now I get why."

"Good idea or not, it's going to take a miracle for Bella to forgive me let alone trust me after how I handled this," I say. "It's one thing to be skeptical but I was an asshole. If this Phoenix trip is an any way connected to her finding her mother, she's going to need me. And I want her to know I'm there for her no matter what."

"Ok, but can you get away for that long?" Rose asks.

"Yes he can," Emmett answers for me.

"I need to make this right," I say. "I have to start somewhere."