One more until the end đź’” I'm not crying, you're crying.

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As always, shoutout to silver_doe287 for making this chapter readable đź’™

Enjoy!

The laboratory was far bigger than Aerith could have ever imagined. As a child she had known that the laboratory was bigger than the three rooms she had been confined in, but it had been a vague sort of knowledge gleaned from picture books, like how she knew that outer space was endless and that trees were tall and had leaves on them. So yes, she had known that Hojo's laboratory was expansive, but this…

This was something else entirely.

She swept her gaze across the network of platforms, tubes, and sky-blue cylinders bubbling with some fluid that smelled like methanol. Red, the poor wolf that had somehow joined their small party, hadn't stopped sneezing until Kunsel tore off a piece of his vest and handed it over.

"So you don't alert our position," Kunsel had gruffly explained, but Aerith had noticed how he would stick close to Red's side and occasionally pat the wolf's large head like a dog, so the gesture had warmed her despite the laboratory's clinical chill.

Now they had found themselves in a new sort of room— though to call it a room was a bit of a stretch. The open space was more akin to a dungeon than anything else; on top of being somewhat a maze, it was darkly lit, and the platforms were suspended over what appeared to be several cells large enough to hold monsters five times her size. If she squinted, she could see dark stains splattered against the metal floor and walls. She tried her best to ignore it.

"Now what?" Aerith asked as she squinted to the furthest platform. "We have to get across somehow."

Barret huffed as he shifted Zack's weight so the other man lay more evenly across his back. "That we do," he agreed.

Zack was still completely unconscious, and worry sparked within Aerith's chest like a live wire. The only indication that Zack was still alive was the faint rising and falling of his chest, as well as the occasional gurgling breaths that made her heart stutter every time. "And I'm no, like, expert in construction or shit like that, but I gotta say—" Barret gestured vaguely to the tangle of suspended platforms— "what the fuck is all of this? Who builds a damn psychopath maze in the middle of a building?"

"A psychopath," Kunsel deadpanned.

Tifa peered over the edge. "Or someone who wants to keep something trapped inside, something like… whatever used to live down there."

"Something like Jenova," Red said solemnly.

Barret made a face. "Jenova as in, Jenova the alien?"

"The very same."

Barret snorted, an inelegant sound, and didn't provide further comment. Aerith was secretly grateful for the silence. She was tired of thinking about Jenova, let alone talking about it. Right now, all she wanted to focus on was finding Cloud and getting out of Shinra headquarters, preferably forever. Even Midgar's stale, polluted air would be preferable than breathing whatever was being pumped down here.

Kunsel suddenly cleared his throat, jarring her from her thoughts. "I can take point and find us a way out of here," he said. His voice echoed unnaturally through the empty space. "Once I find a path, I can come back and guide you all."

"I don't think it's a good idea to split up right now," Tifa said, worrying her lip, but the longing was clear in her eyes. "Cloud… He must have been able to cross this by himself, right?" She suddenly paled. "Unless…" She ran to the edge and looked over the side with wide eyes, only to sag in immediate relief and say, "Never mind." She turned around with a wane expression. "He's not… down there, so there must be a way across."

"He certainly passed this way," Red agreed with a cursory sniff of the air. His voice sounded a bit nasally from his cloth-covered nose. "He is not far in front of us. Perhaps… a minute or two, but no more."

"Then we should hurry," Tifa replied, wringing her hands together.

"We are hurrying," Barret grumbled before he turned to Kunsel. "Ey, SOLDIER-boy, help me put Zack down. I want to check out somethin'."

Kunsel looked faintly alarmed at the prospect of Barret checking out anything, though he hurried over anyway and helped get Zack lying on the platform regardless. "What are you planning?"

Aerith moved over to Zack's side immediately. His breathing was even — heavy perhaps, and maybe a bit stuttering, but even all the same — and so, faintly relieved, she reached for his hand. His palm and fingertips were cold and clammy, but his wrist was warm. And he's not developing a fever, she thought as she placed the back of her hand against his temple. Everything's okay. He's okay. Everything's fine.

"It's not nothing." Barret's loud voice drew her back to the conversation happening behind her, and she glanced at them over her shoulder. "I just need to check things out. Like, you know, perform some reconnaissance."

"Reconnaissance," Kunsel repeated, sounding dubious.

Tifa joined the conversation, her gaze jumping between the two of them before settling on Kunsel. "Has Nobody reached out to you yet?" she asked.

Kunsel's head tilted towards his phone, and Aerith could make out its bright screen in the reflection of his visor. "Not yet," he admitted. "To be honest, I expected a message by now. It makes me worried."

"Maybe she got delayed," Tifa offered.

"She's a Turk," Kunsel stated matter-of-factly, as if that was answer enough, only to suddenly pause and amend, "Or rather, she was a Turk, but that's not important. But what matters is that she's skilled. If anyone can get three incapacitated people through Shinra Headquarters during a lockdown, it's her."

Barret made a disbelieving sound. "I'm sure she's skilled and all, but she's only one person."

"She was a Turk," Kunsel said again. "I'm sure she's fine."

"But she was supposed to give us intel from the outside," Tifa said, speaking up while the Barret and Kunsel glared at each other (at least, Aerith assumed Kunsel was glaring, as his helmet made discerning his facial expressions impossible). "We need Nobody to help us find Cloud. It's just, I mean…" Tifa voice trailed off as she turned to look over the platforms, her fists clenched so tightly that Aerith thought she could hear her leather gloves groaning. "It's just that Cloud is here somewhere, sick and all by himself—"

"Well, he's not really all by himself right now," Barret cut in, and Tifa shot him a look that could have chipped paint off the wall.

"—and he's all by himself," Tifa bitterly restated, "and we're just standing here. How do we get across? We need to get across. We need to—"

"Tifa." Aerith placed her hands on the other woman's shoulders, simultaneously cutting her off and keeping her in place. Tifa blinked in surprise, her hands still lifted in an aborted gesture. "Breathe."

Tifa inhaled a rattling breath.

"We'll find Cloud," Aerith continued, keeping her voice steadier than she felt, "and when we find him, we will ensure he is whole, himself, and happy. We'll find him, I know we will." Tifa's eyes filled with tears at her matter-of-fact statement. "And when we find him, we will find somewhere safe and quiet to hunker down for a while, to rest and recover."

Tifa nodded soundlessly, her hands and shoulders shaking trembling with the force of her swallowed sobs. Something in Aerith's chest cracked at the realization, and without thinking she reached forward and enveloped the other woman in a tight hug. Tifa nestled her head against the crook of her shoulder, and soon the collar of Aerith's red jacket grew damp with her silent tears.

"We'll find him," Aerith murmured again, the same mantra she had been telling herself since she first found out Zack and Cloud were in Hojo's laboratory. She ran a hand down Tifa's hair, and Tifa shuddered beneath the gentle touch. "Hey, relax. Things will work out."

"But what if it doesn't," Tifa whispered. Her voice was tense and hoarse, as if she could hardly even say the words out loud. "I already lost him once, and… and what if this time, he's really—"

Aerith deeply exhaled. "You can't think like that," she said. "Cloud's strong. You know he is, and you know that he won't stop fighting until he's back with us."

"I know, I know that, but—"

"Tifa." Aerith's voice was low and soothing, but firm. Tifa jolted before going quiet. "Cloud is doing his best right now, and that means that we have to do our best, too. Trust him. And trust us," she emphasized, smiling despite her stinging eyes. "There's no doubt in my mind that we'll find him."

In the resulting quiet, Aerith could hear Tifa's shuddering breaths and the hushed conversation between Kunsel and Barret. Aerith continued to pet Tifa's hair, hoping that the gesture was soothing, until Tifa slowly exhaled and eventually pulled away.

"Better?" Aerith asked.

Tifa managed a wobbly smile. "Better," she replied. Her eyes were watery and rimmed with red, and her lower lip looked a bit swollen from biting it, but there was something a little more solid in her expression. "Um, sorry about that. I shouldn't have…" She shook her head. "Sorry. I know that this has been hard for you, too."

Aerith heart squeezed. Hard didn't even begin to describe it, but… "Yeah," she agreed. "Things aren't easy. But we can't give up. We have to hold on to hope."

"Definitely." Tifa swallowed thickly and wiped her eyes. "Sorry for breaking down like that."

Aerith weakly chuckled. "After today, I think we all deserve to have at least one breakdown."

"It's call'd self care," came a rasping voice behind them.

Aerith whirled. "Zack," she breathed, and then with her next breath, she was on her knees at his side without any recollection of how she got there. "You're awake." Her hands roamed up and down his prone body, trembling without touching. "How are you feeling?"
Zack licked his lips. "Well, I've been better," he managed. "But I've been worse, too."

"Not that much worse," she countered.

Zack managed a thin smile. "Not that much worse," he agreed.

Tifa joined them. Her eyes were still a bit swollen and red-rimmed, but her smile when she saw that Zack was awake was genuine. "Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

Zack thickly swallowed, only to immediately wince. "Um, water would be great, actually."

Aerith immediately reached into her jacket pocket — Nobody had given her a small canteen before they had parted ways — but Kunsel, who had been standing off to the side in silence, said, "Here," and tossed over a water bottle. "You can have it."

"Thanks," Aerith replied, surprised but pleased. With Tifa's help, they managed to prop up Zack so that he could properly drink. He drank greedily, the water running down his chin, but doing so obviously exhausted him; it wasn't long before his gaze grew dull and his eyelashes were fluttering.

"Aerith?" he murmured when Aerith slipped the bottle into her jacket pocket.

"Yes?"

"Um, I was wondering…" Zack's gaze dropped. "Well… when will we be out of here?"

His voice sounded terrible small, and Aerith was suddenly struck by the realization that Zack really wasn't that much older than she was.

Aerith placed her hand against his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. "Soon," she promised. Zack lifted his gaze to her, and the skin beneath his eyes was sallow and bruised. She brushed her thumb against it. "We'll be out of here soon."

"And Cloud?"

"He's not here—" Zack's face fell— "but we're looking for him," she promised, "and we'll find him soon."

Zack's throat bobbed. "Is he…"

"I don't know," Aerith said when Zack's voice trailed off, "but we'll make sure he's okay. How about you rest for now, and I can wake you up as soon as we do? How does that sound?"

Zack faintly exhaled. "That sounds good," he admitted and then he closed his eyes, clearly too tired to protest. It wasn't long before his breathing deepened and evened out in sleep.

When Aerith was satisfied that Zack was well and truly out, she walked over to Kunsel and asked, "Where's Barret?" She had noticed that the other man had wandered off earlier, but she thought he would be back by now if he was just taking care of… well, his own personal business.

"He went to take a look around," Kunsel stiffly replied — Aerith pursed her lips in a frown, as that level of tension was unusual even for the usually-stoic SOLDIER — but as if summoned, Barret rounded the corner and ran up to them.

"Good news," he said, and Aerith sighed in relief. She had been unconsciously bracing herself for bad news, as that seemed to be the running trend recently. "There's a small hallway just a little further ahead. It bypasses all of the maze bullshit the crazy scientist man set up, so it should all be smooth sailing from here."

If possible, Kunsel held himself even more rigidly. "And the bad news?"

In answer, Barret held up his prosthetic gun. It was then that Aerith noticed that the tip was smoking and she could smell heated gunpowder. "I got rid of the bad news," he proudly replied.

"Got rid of what bad news?" Kunsel said, sounding less than reassured.

"Oh, you know." Barret loosely waved his hand in the air. "These weird-ass hoverin' robot-things."

"Robot-things?"

"Yeah, robot-things," Barret repeated, and then he suddenly smirked. "What, you've never heard of a robot before? Didn't they teach you anything in SOLDIER-school besides stabbin' things?"

If Aerith had thought that Kunsel had gone still before, now the man looked frozen stiff. Even Barret blinked at the change and might have even begun to look a bit guilty for his comment, until Kunsel pointedly pivoted on his heel and walked back to Zack.

Aerith met Barret's gaze and shook her head, silently telling the other man not to follow.

Barret cleared his throat, thankfully taking the hit. "Anyway," he began, his voice overly loud, "as I was sayin', there's a path thataway that I cleared out. Red, you want to do the honor of leadin'?"

"I believe you will be the best to lead," Red replied, "as you know where this path is."

Barret considered this, then cheerfully decided, "Fair enough." He took point, while Kunsel carried Zack on his back as both were roughly the same size, though Zack seemed ever-so-slightly taller. Aerith was initially afraid that Kunsel would be struggling beneath his weight, but it quickly became apparent that she had nothing to worry about; Kunsel carried Zack effortlessly, as if the other man weighed nothing.

Kunsel, noticing Aerith's look, gave her a small nod and a quiet, "I got him."

Aerith blushed and tried not to fret so obviously after that.

As it turned out, the path that Barret had found wasn't much of a path at all, but a rather large vent that snaked into the wall. A jammed fan stuttered and sparked at its entrance, and the scent of mold and mildew became nearly overpowering the deeper they went inside. It was also stunningly dark. Tifa had the bright idea to use Zack's PHS to light the way, and soon both she and Kunsel were using the phone's flashlight to figure out their way forward.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Tifa asked, giving Barret a dubious look.

"Hell if I know," Barret replied.

Tifa's jaw dropped. "Excuse me? I thought you explored it!"

"I said that I found a path," Barret sniffed, looking put-out. "I didn't say that I followed the entire thing!"

Tifa sighed harshly, but she swept the flashlight further down the vent rather than comment further. It was finally Red who broke the silence by saying, "I can still catch our friend's scent, but—" he sniffed the air, his snout scrunching in displeasure— "it is faint."

Tifa turned towards him. "Faint?" she echoed, sounding vaguely faint herself.

"Yes, faint. Due to the… overpowering nature of the other odors here—" Red wrinkled his nose further— "it is difficult to parse individual scents. It is likely that his scent is merely being masked by the other odors in the area."

Barret looked pleased with himself. "So we are going the right way. See?" He placed a large hand on Tifa's shoulder and gently shook her, a gesture that seemed both familiar and fond. "I told you I knew I knew what I was doing."

Tifa pushed him off, but she was faintly smiling now… or at least, she was until Red suddenly went ramrod-still beside her.

Anxiety wormed into Aerith's gut. "What is it?" she asked as the party slowed to a stop.

The scarlet fur on Red's neck stood on end. "His scent grew stronger all of a sudden," he said simply before ducking his nose to the ground. His tail lashed the air and sent sparks sailing. "Our friend had gone this way, but then he doubled back. It is almost as if he was… pacing."

Tifa's brow furrowed. "Pacing?" she repeated. "Why would he do that?"

Red shook his head. "I am uncertain. Perhaps…" But then he trailed off, his expression shifting into vague disgust, and Aerith quickly noticed why. The front of his paw was edging some sort of purple-gray sludge. The sight sparked something in Aerith's memory, but she couldn't for the life of her remember what.

Barret took a sharp step backward. "The hell is that?" he demanded before looking at Red in accusation, as if Red himself had put it there himself. "That s'posed to be alien blood?"

"Or vomit," Red said mildly, which had Barret making all sorts of faces.

"Fuck off, it is not."

Red continued, "That same color was sometimes smeared on Hojo's laboratory coat, when he would return from the back rooms." His tone was so bland, he might as well be talking about the weather. "Though… I do notice that the scent is different."

Kunsel leaned over the pool of sludge. "Different? How so?"

"The scent of this—" Red gestured towards the purple-grey goop— "is more stale, less rich. Older, perhaps." He leaned back and shook his head, as if trying to dispel the odor from his nose. "It is impossible to know for certain."

Tifa crouched over the viscous slime. "It's definitely fresh, whatever it is," she eventually pointed out. "Look — it's still wet, even around the edges. No part of it has dried yet."

"And you're saying Cloud has been through here?" Kunsel added, speaking to Red.

"Yes. I can smell him."

The implications of that made Aerith shudder. "Maybe…" Her voice cracked, so she cleared it and tried again. "Maybe this blood, or sick, or whatever it is… Maybe it's from Jenova's head, the one that Cloud is carrying. It would explain the slime and… and why you can still smell Cloud in the area."

Barret crossed his arms over his chest. "Or maybe it's from one of Hojo's weird lab creations. Not that, uh, all lab creations are weird," he added quickly when he caught Red's eye. "Wolfy, you're okay. Obviously."

"I am not a creation of Hojo's," Red deftly replied before adding, "And please do not call me Wolfy. You are free to call me Red, if you wish."

"Whatever you say, wolf-dog."

Red's eye twitched. "Wolf-dog is distinctly worse."

"Ignore him," Kunsel cut in. The SOLDIER had crouched in front of the slime, and after staring at it for a moment, brushed his gloved fingertips against the edge of the sticky puddle. "Aerith, how familiar are you with Jenova?"

Aerith jolted at suddenly being address. "Oh, um, not very," she admitted. "When I was a young girl, sometimes Hojo would mention that name… but I wasn't told much of anything."

"Fair enough," Kunsel replied before turning his head. "Tifa?"

Tifa shook her head. "Nothing really." She then squinted at him. "But it sounds like you know about Jenova, though."

Kunsel was silent for a moment, his expression hidden behind his helmet. "A little," he eventually admitted, and stood fully upright. "How well do you know the history of the SOLDIER program?"

"Not much," Tifa replied.

Barret added, "Shinra keeps most of that under lock-and-key. Don't want their secrets leaking out, or anything. But what does that have to do with the gross alien head Cloud is dragging around?"

"I'm getting there," Kunsel said mildly. "To summarize, the original SOLDIERs were enhanced using mako injection. But it was decided that that method wasn't efficient or effective enough, so Hojo and another researcher — a man named Hollander — decided to also inject SOLDIER candidates with Jenova cells. They began two experiments simultaneously: Hojo began Project S, which produced Sephiroth, while Hollander began Project G, which produced two first-class SOLDIERs Genesis and Angeal."

"I've heard of them," Tifa suddenly said, surprising Aerith. "A few years ago, Gensis and Angeal were both declared MIA."

"Sephiroth is also declared as MIA," Kunsel replied with a dry lilt to his tone. "No first-class SOLDIERs ever die in battle; they're declared MIA. Every time."

Something cold settled in Aerith's belly. "But… Zack was declared to be MIA."

"They thought he was dead," Kunsel stated. "Or at least, some people did. Obviously not everyone."

"Wait," Barret interjected. He was pacing the floor, his hands waving erratically at his sides. "Wait wait wait wait wait. You mean to tell me that SOLDIER-boy napping over there—" he pointed first to Zack before moving to the slime puddled on the floor— "was injected with that?"

Kunsel nodded. "Following Hojo's success, all SOLDIER candidates afterward were injected with both Jenova-cells and mako. So, to answer your question… yes, Zack and myself underwent the same treatment."

Barret's eyes went wide. "You too?" he asked, and after Kunsel nodded, rocked back on his heels and said, "Damn."

But a new thought occurred to Aerith, one that struck her as even more terrible. "Cloud," she said, drawing the attention of the group towards her. "Cloud was probably injected with the Jenova cells, too."

Tifa paled. Clearly the thought hadn't occurred to her… or at least, it hadn't occurred to her yet. "Cloud too?" she breathed, before she paled further and lifted a hand to her mouth. "Oh gods, that's why his eyes…"

Aerith grimaced. She didn't want to think about it either, but… "It's likely, isn't it?" she asked, and no one refuted her. A shiver coursed down her spine, one that had nothing to do with the lab's perpetual chill. "Though, I guess we won't know for certain until we find him. Or Hojo."

"Fuckin' Hojo," Barret spat.

"Speaking of Hojo," Red added. His low voice rumbled through the hallway. "I haven't caught his scent once since we entered the lab. Or rather, I have caught his scent, but it is… stale."

Barret turned to scowl at him. "And what the hell does that mean, Wolfy?"

Red curled his lip back in a snarl, though his tone was bland as he replied, "It means that I do not believe Hojo is still in the lab."

"Well, if he ain't here, then where the hell could he be?"

"I do not know." Red tilted his head up to sniff the air, his scarlet eyes dark and watchful. "Regardless, we should continue. Cloud's scent is growing more distant as we speak."

Tifa's breath hitched. "How much more distant?" she asked as Kunsel helped maneuver Zack onto Barret's back.

Red flicked his gaze to her, then to a point in the far distance. "Not much more. A few minutes at the most."

"Then let's hurry," Tifa stated. Her carmine gaze swept across the room, as if daring anyone to contradict her.

No one did.

Cloud's head hurt. It throbbed with every step, a stabbing throb that had his vision flickering white and the room tilting at odd angles. Yet he knew that he was supposed to keep walking. An instinctive drive had his feet shuffling forward, and the knowledge that he was not supposed to stop until he reached his destination ached like a persistently bleeding wound… but he didn't know where he was going. He didn't even know where he was. Nothing looked familiar; he didn't recognize the floor he walked on, and the longer he walked, the more important that seemed. He didn't know where he was going.

It's okay, sweetie, came the same voice from earlier, and Cloud felt his panic ebb almost immediately. You're almost there. Just a little farther. Just a few more steps.

Cloud clung to that promise: just a few more steps. That… That sounded okay. A few more steps were manageable. He didn't feel any less lost, but knowing that he was almost where he needed to go made it better somehow, like he wasn't as lost as he could be. It was almost comforting. Almost.

It became less comforting when a few more steps turned into a dozen, a hundred, a blur of motion and pain. Unease squirmed within him. He didn't dare stop moving. He didn't dare, didn't even let himself consider it, because evenif his head was hurting terribly and he was horribly nauseous and his head was throbbing —

— and then he was looking up at the ceiling. Nameless confusion tumbled through him, which was swiftly replaced by rising panic; he didn't remember falling, didn't remember getting here, didn't remember the lab, didn't remember the experiments, didn't remember anything…!

"Zack," Cloud croaked.

A voice answered, Get up. The order rang through the room and thrummed deep in his chest like a second heart, with a fervent beating that did nothing to soothe his pounding headache, yet it soothed something else. Like sutures closing an open wound, it stitched together something that had fallen to pieces within him.

"Mother," Cloud whispered.

The voice said again, Get up. Her tone was sharp-edged and angry, a fact that made Cloud shudder with shame. He couldn't remember the last time his mother had gotten angry. Back when he didn't get along with the other Nibelheim boys, or when he tried and failed to help Tifa find her Mom, or when he left to become a SOLDIER in Shinra, she had only become sad. But never angry.

She sounded angry now.

Cloud shuddered again and attempted to get his feet underneath him, a jerk of uncoordinated movement that had the room spinning and his tongue tasting copper. His leg twitched uselessly against the ground.

Get up, Mother ordered again, her tone sharper now, serrated like a knife.

Cloud's eyes stung with heat. "Trying," he mumbled to the empty room.

You're obviously not. If you were actually trying, you'd be standing by now. Now get up, and do it properly this time. You're perfectly fine.

"Fine," Cloud echoed, his voice a rasp.

Yes, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you. Now get up.

Cloud considered this for a moment, before deciding that he really was fine. Tired, maybe, but being tired never killed anyone. With that thought firmly planted in his mind, he attempted to roll over onto his stomach. It took multiple attempts, and when he finally managed it, he had to press his lips together to keep from getting sick. His stomach rolled. His ears rang.

He was tired.

He wanted to be held.

"Mother," he croaked, and waited.

But only the dust raining from the ceiling answered. The answer was obvious — Mother would not speak to him until he did as she asked — and the sudden loneliness crushed him. A strange, aborted sound slipped past his lips as he pushed himself onto his elbows, and then onto his knees. They trembled and ached against the hard floor.

He did not remember standing up. One moment his head was bowed between his outstretched arms, and then the next moment he was staring blankly at the far wall. The wall swayed beneath his gaze like a pirouette on unsteady legs, and it occasionally flared and flickered like a lightbulb on its way out. Cloud blinked. He blinked again. When that didn't solve the problem he shook his head, but that only managed to nearly throw him back onto the ground.

Good job, Mother told him, and Cloud suddenly felt like crying. Now pick me up.

Cloud's stomach lurched inexplicably, a sharp twist that his unconsciously placing a hand over his abdomen as he swept his gaze across the floor. He saw nothing, just boxes and crates and rusty cages and… Oh. There. Something within him sighed in relief as he stumbled towards his Mother's cold, decapitated head.

Cloud went shock still. A decapitated head, his mind stumbled over. Milky eyes, set in a hollowed-out face and framed by lank hair, stared at him from across the room. Its lips were moving. Pick me up, it was saying, but its voice was no longer sweet but twisted, a mocking rendition of what his mother had once sounded like. It was so discordant with his memories that his chest heaved and shuddered. He was going to be sick. He was going to be sick now.

Pick me up, it was ordering as Cloud doubled over and retched.

"No," Cloud cried. Something wet and hot slipped down his cheek as he stumbled backward. Where was he? Where's Tifa? Where's Zack? Oh gods, he belatedly realized, where's Hojo? "No, no, no…"

Pick me up, the head demanded, so we can go to our Reunion.

Something within Cloud clicked into place. The storm within his head went quiet; the white-hot horror that had gone molten beneath his skin turned cold. "Reunion?" he echoed. The word was foreign on his tongue, a mash of syllables and empty meaning, and yet it tugged at something within him, pulled a thread loose like it was a string on a sweater until it began to unravel. He was unravelling. The glue that held his broken pieces together was dissolving at the seams. "Re… union?"

Yes, for the Reunion, said the voice, gentle and soothing, just like his Mother. Of course it was Mother; who else could it have possibly been? We need to hurry, little one. Pick me up. It's time to go.

Cloud took a dizzy step forward, and then he took another. His footsteps rang hollow against the floor. "Let's go," he murmured as he reached down and picked up his Mother. There was a dark spot on her forehead, a bruise that wasn't there before, and he ran his thumb against it. Her skin was soft and warm. She smiled up at him. A faint sensation of a hand brushed against his cheek, and he smiled as well.

Walk, Mother told him. We're almost there.

"Almost there," Cloud faintly echoed.

Don't worry. Mother blinked up at him, and her smile widened. Mother will take care of you.

"Take care of me," Cloud hollowly repeated, and when he lifted his head, the room spun wildly in a kaleidoscope of color and sounds and images and —

— and he was walking down a dirt road. His shoes, smaller and dirtier than he remembered, scuffed the ground and created dust clouds with every step. Anger and anxiety squirmed in his gut. Tifa wasn't at her house (not that he asked) and she wasn't at the general store either (not that he checked or anything), and that meant that she was probably hanging out with the other kids (not that he cared).

Really, he didn't care what the other boys did. He didn't like them anyway. They were so dumb and immature, and he really didn't care if they didn't invite him over to play or include him in anything. It was for the best, anyway. He was so much better than them and one day he'd prove it, he'd go to Shinra and become a SOLDIER just like Sephiroth, and then…

"Cloud!"

A sudden shout had Cloud whipping his head up, and then the air froze in his lungs because there she was, waving at him, smiling like he was the best thing she'd seen all day. For a moment, time went still. All that existed was her smile, his stare, the empty space between them… and the other boys, all standing around her and watching him.

Cloud ducked his head, flushing, and quickly walked the opposite direction.

"Hey!" Tifa's shout chased him as he walked away (because he didn't run, he refused to run). "Are you ignoring me?" —

— and Cloud stumbled on nothing. "No," he mumbled in the dark as he managed to catch himself from falling. There was a weight in his arms, simultaneously warm and cold. A hand brushed against his cheek. "Not ignoring. I wouldn't—"

— and then he was strapped to a steel table, angled at a sharp forty-five degrees, with his feet bare and sweat budding on his temple. Hojo pressed a needle into a vial of something green and glowing, and Cloud watched transfixed as the needle filled. A droplet beaded from the needle's tip.

Hojo flicked the needle with a gloved finger. The droplet splattered onto the ground while the liquid sparked before going still.

"Don't worry, Sample C," said Hojo as he pressed the needle against the crook of his elbow, "this won't hurt a bit—"

— and Cloud sucked in a sharp breath, one hand slapping against his inner elbow while his other carefully cradled Mother. He could see his veins pulsing beneath his skin. It was wrong, foreign, alien, and he could feel a cry crawling up his throat.

Not good? Mother asked him, and then the world shifted again until —

— until he was floating, suspended in something warm and heavy. When he blinked open his eyes, he saw nothing but green. Disfigured, warped shapes moved somewhere in the distance. Lights floated from somewhere far off. He thought he could make out someone beside him… but as soon as the thought crossed his mind, it faded with the bubbles clawing up towards the surface.

He could hear whispering.

It sounded like a hundred voices speaking all at once; it sounded like a song. It sounded like heartbreak, something he had not heard before but couldn't help but recognize now. The emotion gouged at him, scraped him clean, whittled him down until he was nothing but bones and formless thoughts.

There was a tapping against the glass. Light suddenly shone directly into his eyes, and Cloud couldn't find the energy to move. He couldn't even find the energy to care. His animal body no longer mattered and his mind was already drifting somewhere far away, somewhere where he could never be hurt again, somewhere kind and soft and warm and —

Mother.

The tapping faded; the light no longer existed; the dim roar of moving liquid disappeared into a muted twilight. Mother. The word pulsed in rhythm with his sluggish heartbeat. Mother —

— and Cloud sharply shook his head, but the movement was too much, too quick, and he staggered into something hard: a wall, he belatedly realized. He was leaning against a wall. A sense of wrongness shifted within him; strangely, he expected there to be glass instead.

You're doing well, Cloud, Mother told him. Just a little further.

"Just a little further," Cloud murmured, and then —

— and then he was stumbling across the badlands. The earth was dry and cracked beneath his threadbare boots, the air was hot and dry, and the only thing protecting him from the beating sun was a tattered cloak draped over his shoulders and covering his head. There were others around him, their footsteps drumming in rhythm with his own. Moans spilled from between cracked lips. Sometimes he almost caught the beginnings of a word somewhere within their groans, but it quickly faded into the cacophony of hurt.

Cloud shook his head and continued to walk. The wind tugged at him and he hunched his shoulders against the sudden gusts. It was then that he realized that he was mumbling something too, his throat pushing out sound without his prompting. "Reunion," he was saying, but the word was so jumbled that it was hardly recognizable. He wasn't sure why he was saying it. He wasn't even sure why he was here really, or why there were so many others here too.

"Why so surprised?" came a voice. Mother's voice, Cloud realized, and he relaxed faintly as he turned towards the side… but there was no one there. "Did you think you were alone?"

Cloud thought about it before shaking his head.

"Of course you didn't," Mother said, and Cloud flushed, pleased. "Our family is a large one, after all. And it is only continuing to grow. Look around you." Cloud raised his gaze — he didn't remember dropping it — and squinted at the distance. Formless shapes moved near him, their hunched figures silhouetted by the sun. "Each one of them is mine, and together we will sail the cosmos with this planet as our vessel. Then we will find a new planet, and on its soil we will build a shining future. But don't worry, Cloud," Mother continued, her voice sugar-sweet, "I will always be by your side."

"Always?" Cloud asked.

Mother smiled and said —

"Cloud!"

Tifa was certain that this was taking too long. Red had promised that Cloud was nearby, but they've been hurrying forward for ten minutes at least and there was still no sign of him. Worse, Red had commented that the air was getting less stagnant— that there was an exit somewhere in front of them, and she was growing worried that Cloud had may have managed to escape. Usually, getting out of the lab would be a good thing, and she wanted it more than anything, but given his questionable state of mind… If he could attack Zack to the point of incapacitating him, a SOLDIER, what else could he do? Who would be next? Would he even be able to recognize them anymore? Would he even recognize her—

She ripped that thought out at the root.

"Red," she began before her thoughts spiraled further into what ifs, "how much further?"

Red, who had gotten used to Tifa's constant questions, simply replied, "Close."

"How close?"

"Close."

"That doesn't answer—"

A sudden hand wrapped around her own, cutting her off and causing her to startle. "Tifa, it'll be okay," Aerith told her. "We'll find him, I know we will." She had said those words so often that they were beginning to lose their meaning, and yet there was a strange soft comfort to them, one that Tifa desperately held on to with everything she had.

"I… I know we will." Tifa hoped she sounded far more confident than she felt. "It's just…" She bit her lip, unsure how to put it into words. "It's… I just wish he was here. What if he got outside? What if he got lost again, and no one was there to help him? Or what if he hurtssomeone like he hurt Zack? He'd never forgive himself, he'd never…" She shook her head, her eyes stinging. "What if Hojo finds him and—"

"Hojo won't find him," Aerith interrupted.

Tifa turned towards her, feeling haunted. Ghosts swarmed beneath her skin, scraped against her lungs with skeletal fingers. "How can you know that?" she pleaded. "Red said that he couldn't find Hojo's scent, right? Do you think that Hojo already escaped? That — That he's waiting for Cloud outside?"

The last sentence had her nearly choking from fear, but Kunsel immediately dispelled it with a deadpan, "I doubt it." The SOLDIER glanced at them from over his shoulder, and she could see her wide-eyed reflection in his helmet. "There was a lot of blood when we walked in."

That was true, but… "Red didn't—"

"It is possible that I made a mistake," Red politely interjected. "As our SOLDIER friend stated, there was quite a bit of blood. I might have missed Hojo's scent within it all." Then, almost offhandedly: "His blood is rather thin and odorless."

Tifa didn't know how exactly to reply to that.

"The point is," Aerith continued, effortlessly picking up the thread of the conversation, "Cloud can't be much further ahead. I bet we'll see him as soon as we turn this corner, and then we can grab him and leave. Together."

Barret grinned at that. It was a disconcerting smile, as Zack was lying limp on his back– he'd taken Zack from Kunsel a few minutes back to give the other man a break–and his prosthetic gun's barrel remained charred and blackened from his earlier fighting. "Maybe we can go for dinner after we get the hell out of here," he commented. "Like… Like hotpot. I'm in the mood for hotpot."

Tifa shot him an incredulous look. "How can you even think about eating right now?"

"The hell you mean? In case you haven't noticed, I need to eat! I'm a grown-ass adult!"

"Could have fooled me," Kunsel muttered under his breath.

Unfortunately Kunsel didn't quite mutter quietly enough, and Barret's indignant "Hey!" followed quickly after.

Tifa let their bickering wash over her. The noise was comforting in a strange sort of way, like draping on a well-worn blanket, the familiarity of the light-hearted arguments grounded her in the present. Her heart rate calmed. Her skin felt a little less cold, a little less clammy, and she briefly smiled to Aerith in thanks before letting her expression slip into something harder. She had to focus, now. No more distractions. No more anxiety-induced spirals. The team didn't need that, Cloud didn't need that, and she certainly didn't need that either.

Now she had to keep it together, as best as she could.

…Easier said than done.

It was difficult to ignore the way her pulse fluttered when they turned the corner, her gaze searching and subsequently failing to find Cloud's familiar silhouette in the darkened hall. It was difficult not to jump at the shadows shifting along the wall, or not to startle when a pipe unexpectedly hissed when the team passed by. Sometimes she thought she could hear Cloud's voice in the distance; sometimes she heard her name, or sometimes she heard him say Mom! the same way he had as a child. Every once in a while, she would see a shock of blond hair in her peripheral vision… but when she turned, her heart in her throat, there would be nothing there.

Perhaps this is what going mad felt like.

Perhaps she was already mad, and this was some sort of horrible nightmare. Gods, this laboratory was huge. What if they never found him again? Or, what if they found him and he was dead?

She swallowed the whimper worming up her throat. I need to keep it together, she told herself. I need to keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it —

They turned another the corner, unveiling a small room filled with laboratory supply overflow and a distinctly marked EXIT sign hanging above a door, and her throat went dry.

"Cloud!" she shouted without thinking.

Tifa's shout rang across the platform, high-pitched and breaking. Everything felt hot and cold all at once because Cloud was there, right in front of her, his back facing the team and his blond hair bleached halo-white beneath the pale light streaming down from a high-set window. She was only dimly aware of the rest of the team sharing similar sentiments: a relieved string of curses from Barret, a sharp gasp from Aerith, a muted thanks from Kunsel, and a low growl from Red. Zack, by contrast, was silent as he slept on.

"Cloud," Tifa said again, attempting a step forward. Relief made her weak-kneed, and she had to splay a hand against the wall to keep from falling. "Cloud, you're here," she babbled. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? Are you well? I — I thought…" She cut that thought off and looked him over instead. He looked okay from behind, though only because he was standing rather than what her imagination had predicted, such as him strapped down to a table or being wheeled around in a mako tank. The vision made her eyes sting, and she choked out, "Gods, Cloud, I was so worried…"

Cloud turned around, and whatever else Tifa was going to say die withered and died on her tongue.

His eyes were vibrant green and slitted. His expression was neutral, almost bored. There was a strange, uneven lump tenderly cradled in his arms, and when Tifa's eyes dropped towards it she realized that it staring right back at her with pale, pupilless eyes. Its bloodless lips were silently moved to mouth words.

"Cloud," she tried to say, but she didn't have enough air in her lungs to even attempt that.

Her ears were ringing. A sharp chill had lodged itself in the small of her spine. The tentative spark of hope that had flared so brightly within her chest a moment was now a whisper of ash curdling in her chest, a breath of dust in the spaces between her ribs, because Zack's words suddenly came back to her:

"But Sephiroth, somehow… came back, or something," Zack had said, breathing slowly through his obvious pain. "He's possessing Cloud. I think… I think he's after Jenova. Cloud was holding her head."

If what Zack had said was true…

… then that meant that Cloud was holding Jenova in his arms. Jenova, the alien life-form that had been injected into modern SOLDIERs; Jenova, the cell donor that had been forced into Cloud and, if her theory was correct, overwhelmed him and sent him into a coma. A coma he had awoken from; a coma that still haunted him.

"Cloud," she whispered. "It's me. It's Tifa."

She hated how small her voice sounded.

There was a small shift of fabric behind her followed by a faint thud; Barret must have placed Zack onto the ground, but she was only distantly aware of that as Kunsel and Red had moved forward to flank her. Red was still growling, a harsh sound that had the small hairs of her neck standing on end. Kunsel, by contract, was perfectly silent. The only indication that he was made of flesh and bone rather than carved from stone was that his hand was trembling around the grip of his broadsword.

Soon Barret joined them, and his presence was a familiar and comforting weight on her back. She did not hear the faint whining of his prosthetic gun, nor did she smell warm gunpowder — the tell-tale sign that he was prepping his weapon.

Seeing the movement, Cloud cocked his head sharply to the side, much like a hawk might do before diving for a mouse. His slitted eyes were luminous in the dark. He was still cradling the head in his hands.

Barret made a face. "Fuck," he surmised.

"Fuck," Tifa agreed beside him, her voice shallow.

Aerith strode up beside Tifa, her expression tight and hands clasped in front of her. "Are… Are we doing this?"

Tifa glanced at her. "Doing what?" she demanded, but her question fell on deaf ears.

Kunsel gripped his sword tighter. "I will," he quietly admitted, "if I must."

"No one else gets hurt," Red snarled.

The cold Tifa felt plummeted into something freezing. "Wait, wait, no, we can't. This…" She fumbled over the weight of the words. "This is Cloud we're talking about, we can't just—"

"Tifa." Barret looked down at her, his expression pained, and she suddenly realized that she could smell heated smoke and gunpowder warm the air after all. "That ain't Cloud."

Cloud didn't react to hearing his name. Instead he shifted Jenova's head to one hand while he let the other one dangle. His fingers were dark and slick with blood and other viscous fluid. Zack, Tifa suddenly remembered, was hurt and unconscious behind them.

There suddenly wasn't enough air in the air. "Oh gods. Oh gods, no." Aerith made a move to touch her arm, but Tifa flinched back; if she was touched gently now, she would shatter. She would shatter like glass and her sharp edges would cut whoever tried to piece her back together. "No, no, no… it is Cloud, or… or it's Sephiroth, Zack said that Sephiroth is possessing Cloud, it's not Cloud, so we can't just—"

"Tifa," Barret again interrupted. "The wolf is right: no one else can get hurt. Cloud wouldn't want that." His voice was gentle, surprisingly so for such a gruff man. This, Tifa distantly realized, is what Barret sounded like as a father.

"Barret," Tifa begged, "no."

"Sorry, Teef. But don't worry; we don't want Cloud to get hurt, either." Barret reached out to ruffle her hair, something that he hadn't done since she was fifteen and shell-shocked. She took a step back, brittle and breaking.

Aerith took a step forward. "We need to get Cloud away from Jenova," she said. Cloud pupils contracted upon hearing Jenova's name, but he didn't otherwise make a move towards them. "If we do that, we may have a chance of breaking her hold on him."

Barret's expression twisted. "So that creepy head thing is a her now?"

"Does it matter?" Kunsel dryly asked.

"I… Fuck, I guess not."

"How do we get Jenova away from Cloud?" Red asked, changing the conversation. His voice was a low rumble, and his tail cut through the air with every harsh swipe. Stray embers scattered in the air.

Aerith's expression tightened further. "By force."

"Like a fucked-up game of keep-away," Barret muttered before drawing himself to his full height. He shakily exhaled. "All right, let's do this."

"Tifa," Aerith suddenly said. Tifa turned towards her, little more than instinct rather than a conscious decision. Abject horror — horror at the situation, their conversation, towards herself for not finding her voice — tightened around her throat like a noose. "Will you watch over Zack for me?"

Out of everything Tifa had expected Aerith to say, that certainly hadn't been it. "What?" she asked dumbly.

"Watch Zack for me," Aerith repeated. It wasn't a question. "When he wakes up, he's going to want to see Cloud."

"What?" Tifa said again, uncomprehending, only for the words to click. She immediately shook her head. "No, no, I'm helping, I can help, I—"

Aerith placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tifa," Aerith said gently, "if Cloud hurts you, he'll take it hard. He'll never forgive himself for it."

"But I can—"

"Jenova already used Cloud to hurt Zack," Aerith interrupted. The other woman's eyes were bright with unshed tears, but her voice remained steady besides a small hitch at the confession. "Besides Zack, you're the only other person that Cloud truly loves. If he hurts you… If he hurts you, then there won't be anyone left to find Cloud when we get him away from Jenova."

Oh. Sudden comprehension dawned through her, and Tifa glanced over Aerith to look at the rest of the team. They weren't trying to hurt Cloud — they were trying to save him, which was good, because she already decided that she'd fight each and every single one of them before they laid a hand on him.

Tifa sucked in a sharp breath. "Okay," she whispered, surprising herself. When she lifted her gaze to meet Aerith's eyes, she hoped she looked far steadier than she felt. "Okay, I'll stay with Zack. But please…"

"No one else gets hurt," Aerith promised, echoing Red and Barret's earlier statement. "That means Cloud, too."

Tifa managed a thin smile she didn't quite feel. "Right."

Aerith sharply nodded in answer before turning back to Cloud, her green eyes narrowed and her shoulders tense. It was then that Tifa noticed that she was holding a red materia in her hands— maybe she had gotten it from Zack.

"Don't blow anything up," Tifa commented, recalling the last time Aerith had used a fire materia.

Aerith, undoubtedly recalling the same thing, glanced towards Tifa with a wry smile. "Me? Never."

Tifa's lips twitched, an aborted attempt at a grin.

There wasn't any time to do anything else.

Cloud suddenly launched himself forward, one hand outstretched while the other held Jenova's head protectively against his chest. Barret yelped before leveling his prosthetic gun; Tifa's heart lurched sickeningly at the sight, and the realization that Barret was actually shooting the ground in front of Cloud rather than at Cloud directly provided no relief because Cloud didn't seem to care. He ran into the hail of bullets until Barret had to disengage with a loud, colorful curse.

"Barret!" Tifa screamed, unable to help herself.

Barret winced as Cloud reached for his neck, but Kunsel suddenly appeared beside him in a blur of motion. The SOLDIER grabbed Cloud's collar and threw him backwards. "Infantryman Strife!" Kunsel shouted, his voice loud and terrible. It made Tifa's spine stiffen even though she wasn't the one being addressed. "The fuck do you think you're doing? Stand down, cadet!"

Cloud frowned, a gesture so subtle that Tifa nearly missed it.

But Kunsel wasn't done. "Get in line and stay there, Strife! The hell you think you're doing, attacking members of your own team? Do you think that's how you're gonna get into SOLDIER? Huh, cadet?! Is that how you think the program works? Keep that up," Kunsel snapped, "and you'll be booted back to Nibelheim so fast you'll choke!"

Cloud's frown deepened and he frantically shook his head. His arms twitched around Jenova's head, and Jenova herself was… talking, Tifa realized, it's lips were moving and its fish-like eyes were pinned onto Cloud's face.

"It's Jenova!" Tifa cried. "It's… it's talking to Cloud! We have to get him away from it!"

Barret's gaze followed her own and, seeing the same thing she did, he let out a heartfelt, "Fuck."

"Fuck," Red agreed before darting forward. Teeth bared, Red sprinted towards Cloud with a harsh snarl before pouncing, but Cloud's head suddenly jerked up and he stepped to the side. Red skidded past him, his claws squeaking horribly across the floor, before trying again.

This time, Red was joined by Barret who had also begun to run forward. Barret's mouth was open in a wild shout as he shot behind Cloud, preventing him from dodging out of Red's way. Aerith assisted by conjuring a wall of flames to Cloud's left, further boxing him it.

Tifa's heart felt like it had permanently lodged in her throat. She could feel the heat from the flames and her heartbeat pounding between her eyes.

Besides Zack, Aerith had said, you're the only other person that Cloud truly loves.

Tifa sucked in a sharp breath. It would be a gamble, but…

"Zack." She gently shook Zack's shoulder. "Zack, wake up."

Zack made a low, pained sound.

"I know, I know," Tifa said hurriedly, "but we — I — need you right now. Cloud is here, he's awake but he's…"

Zack's eyelashes fluttered open. "Cloud?" he murmured, and he immediately tried to sit upright. Tifa helped him up with a wince, all too aware that the movement was probably horribly painful for Zack, considering where he had been struck. Surprisingly — or perhaps not so surprisingly, considering the type of person he was — he didn't seem to notice nor care. "Where's…"

Tifa wordlessly gestured towards the center of the room, only to go cold in horror. Somehow Cloud had gotten out of the trap that Barret and Aerith had laid out for him, and now he was standing over Barret with his boot digging into the other man's neck. Cloud's eyes were wide and empty, and his face was utterly devoid of emotion.

Zack sucked in a sharp inhale. "Shit," he muttered under his breath, and then he said, far louder: "Cloudy!"

Cloud's head snapped in their direction, his pupils dilating. Aerith did as well, wide-eyed and pale-faced as she stared at Zack.

Zack smiled winningly — first at Aerith, who also received a wink, and then back to Cloud. "Hey buddy," he continued, and Tifa could feel him wince slightly as he pulled his wound wrong. "What are you doing to Barret, huh? I thought you were friends. Was he picking on you or something?"

Barret, red-faced and sweating, choked out something that was likely a curse. Cloud only looked down at him with a faint scowl, as if seeing him for the first time. Even so, no recognition sparked in his expression; he might as well have been looking at a total stranger.

"Cloud," Tifa said, and this time — this time — Cloud visibly shuddered. "Come back to me."

Cloud's teeth began to chatter, and he took an aborted step backwards. Barret gasped when the pressure was removed from his throat.

"Cloudy!" Zack called, only to double over with a sharp cough. Tifa placed a hand on his back to steady him and pretended not to notice how he went rigid beneath the touch. Meanwhile, the rest of the team started shouting Cloud's name; even Red, who seemed to dislike Cloud, joined his voice with the others.

It seemed to work.

Cloud took several shaky steps back, his expression contorting in pain even as his eyes rapidly dilated, before he made a wounded sound and dropped his head into his hands.

In doing so, he dropped Jenova's head.

It hit the ground with sickening crunch. Cloud made another faint, pained sound and went to reach for it, but it was Aerith — Aerith! — who darted forward and kicked the head across the room before he could. Like some sort of demented football, it wetly bounced across the floor once, twice, before eventually rolling to a stop in the corner. Barret, who had been sitting in the crossfire and had gotten splattered on its way, looked positively disgusted.

Zack, by contrast, looked beyond pleased. He muttered something under his breath but Tifa missed it; she was already on her feet, and when Aerith ran for Zack she ran the opposite direction, towards Cloud, her arms outstretched and her heart pounding in her throat.

Cloud felt something tear. With a name, a face, a familiar voice, something within him began cracking open. Breaking. The lines of his marionette were snapping; the seams holding together his skin were ripping apart. Blood was welling up from the cracks, so much blood that he was drowning in it, so much that he would never be able to breathe again.

He breathed, "You."

A shadow shifted in front of him, and he suddenly felt something brush against his face. He flinched back. A shill voice inside him warned him of the danger, insisted that the figure was a threat, shrieked that he was alone and would always bealone… only to abruptly go silent when warm hands touched his cheeks.

A harsh shudder coursed through him at the feather-light touch. Danger, he knew, danger. His fingers twitched in a desperate urge to push away, to maim, to incapacitate, but he clamped the feeling down. He couldn't do that, not now, because this felt real. He somehow knew that this was real. That nothing had felt real until his moment.

"Cloud," came a whisper. "Cloud."

It took him a moment, but… Oh. A bubble of recognition passed through him, bright and warm. That's my name.

A thumb brushed just below his eyes as they repeated, "Cloud."

Strange, how they could make his name sound like a complete sentence.

"Cloud." A whisper, a touch, then: "Come back to me."

Cloud opened his eyes, unable to recall closing them. A quiet had settled over his surroundings. The other shadows had gone still, silent and watching; he could sense their eyes resting on him, could sense how their hands rested on their weapons. The knowledge had him itching all over. It made him remember things. It made him remember…

"Mother," he whispered. Where had she gone? She was just here, but his hands were empty. He couldn't remember when that had happened.

Yet before he could look look up and search, the hands that rested against his cheeks gently tilted his face back down until he was staring down at someone. The shadows had bled away to reveal pale skin, dark hair, and large eyes — it was a face that he knew, a face that he recognized, but the knowledge skirted his awareness. He couldn't remember a name.

"Cloud," they murmured, "look at me."

And Cloud looked. He looked into their carmine eyes, only to be struck by the knowledge that he would never be able to look away again. If he closed his eyes, he would be able to feel the heartbeat in their fluttering against his cheeks and that his was mirroring it, a quiet melody that contained no song. He did not close his eyes. Despite the danger, despite his vulnerability, he did not move away and he did not close his eyes.

They could slit his throat, and he would thank them for the touching his skin.

Without warning a name welled up inside of him, as sudden and breathless as a slap. "Tifa," he whispered, and the moment he heard the word out loud, he knew it to be true. That was her name. This was her touch. Those were her eyes. "Tifa," he said again, "Tifa, Tifa, Tifa." If she said his name like it was a complete sentence, then he said her name like it was an ending to a prayer, the amen after a silent, desperate plea. "Tifa."

"Cloud," came the reply, and a thumb brushed against his cheekbones. He could feel something warm and damp drag with the movement. "You're here. You came back."

He did not know what that meant, but he also knew that it didn't really matter. "Tifa. Tifa, I—"

A sharp pain in his temple cut him off.

He took a step back, wincing, his hands flying up to press against his temple with a sharp hiss. Despite his blurry vision, he could make out Tifa following him with her hands outstretched. Worry was written across her expression.

"Don't," he bit out. His head ached, pain pounding in rhythm with a heartbeat that didn't feel like his own. "I'm… I'm dangerous, I could…"

His voice trailed off as Tifa extended her arms to him, their pale undersides tilted upwards. He could see the gloss of her gloves and the pale blue veins snaking beneath them, up until they faded as they trailed up their forearm. Dirt and something darker were smeared over his skin; yet, no matter how Cloud squinted and searched, he did not see any cuts.

"You didn't hurt me," Tifa told him. "See? I'm not hurt. Everyone made sure of that."

Everyone, Cloud's mind echoed, but he promptly dismissed it by shaking his head. That was a poor argument, and if he could remember exactly why it was a poor argument, he would tell her. As it was, all he saw was indistinct flashes of someone reaching for him before feeling something wet and slippery pulse around his hand. There were no words to describe it. There was nothing solid for him to recall. Nevertheless, he knew one thing for certain:

"I hurt someone," Cloud croaked.

Emotion flickered across Tifa's face, there and gone again. "No," she said finally. "You didn't."

It didn't sound like a lie. Tifa wouldn't lie to him, but even so… "Tifa, I know I did. I… I felt it, I don't…" Another throb flared in his temple, cutting him off with a hiss. The world seemed to spin beneath his feet. "I don't…"

Something cold was suddenly pressed against his lips. Cloud flinched, not expecting the sudden touch, when a new voice ordered, "Drink." When Cloud pressed his lips tightly together in obvious denial, there was a harsh sigh followed by a firm, "It's a potion, and you need to drink it. Don't make me order you, cadet."

Cadet. Something slid into place at the title, a piece of him that he hadn't even realized had dislodged. He parted his lips and dutifully drank, only to immediately grimace. Potions tasted just at terrible as he remembered, and it was an exercise in self-control to not spit it out, but he squeezed his eyes shut and forced it down.

He felt better almost immediately. The pain vanished so quickly he went lightheaded with it, and there was a sudden weakness in his legs that had him wobbling. Yet before he could fall, hands immediately grabbed him by his elbows, steadying him. "Woah," came that same, familiar voice. "I got you, Cloud. Easy does it."

Cloud blinked dumbly as he found himself being gently deposited on the ground. He didn't have time to glance behind him to see who caught him, because with his next breath Tifa was suddenly crouched in front of him. Her brow was furrowed with obvious worry. Her face was pale, her lips were red and swollen from where she had been biting them, and there was a wetness to her eyes that made him think she'd been crying.

Even so, she smiled when she met his gaze. "There you are."

Cloud throat tightened. "Hi," he murmured, his voice low and sounding a little choked. "I'm back."

Tifa went still at his words; so still, in fact, that Cloud was beginning to get a bit worried, but then she suddenly threw her arms around him and pulled him in a tight hug. He could feel her bury her face into the crook of his neck, yet it did nothing to muffle her sobs. His collar quickly grew damp.

Cloud's heart seemed determined to beat right out of his chest. His hands hovered awkwardly in the air as he wondered: What did he do? Did he hug her? Did she even want him to hug her? There was still something sticky and claggy coating his hands, and he was certain that he was an absolute mess —

From across the room, Barret suddenly hissed in exasperation. The sound had Cloud jumping. He hadn't noticed that Barret had been in the room at all, and when he turned to the other man, Barret loudly sighed and made a very pointed motion.

Cloud's brow furrowed — What did that mean? — until he got it. Nodding his head in thanks, which only earned him a dramatic eyeroll, he carefully wrapped his arms around Tifa while trying to make sure his hands didn't touch her. Tifa hugged him tighter, her crying showing no signs of stopping.

"Um… There, there," Cloud awkwardly murmured. "I'm, uh, okay now. I promise."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

Tifa suddenly reared back, her face blotchy and tear-stained. She also looked furious. "Never again," she told him, and jabbed her finger into his chest for emphasis. Cloud was too surprised to block it, or do much of anything, really. He could only sit there and take it. "Never again," she repeated with vitriol. "From now on we stick together, okay? No more going off on your own, or getting wrapped up with crazy scientists, or… or…!"

"Okay," Cloud agreed, and he even managed a small smile. It was shaky and small and felt a little odd on his face, but he meant it. "From now on, we stick together."

Tifa stared at him for a moment, wide-eyed and surprised, before her expression crumpled and she embraced him once again. This time Cloud was expecting it and easily hugged her back; he even allowed himself the small comfort of resting his cheek on the top of her head. She smelled a bit like soap and leather. He decided that moment that it was his favorite scent, but he absolutely would never tell her and he would take that secret to the grave.

"Well, ain't this touching," Barret said, sounding touched. Cloud glared at him.

"But seriously though." A hand suddenly dropped onto Cloud's free shoulder, and Cloud looked up to see a brown-haired man staring down at him with a fond look. "I'm glad you're back, Strife. You had us worried for a bit."

All at once, Cloud recognized who he was and nearly fell over. He would have, if Tifa wasn't holding him so tightly. "Commander? Uh, I mean, Commander sir," he immediately tacked on, wincing at his blunder, and then very nearly winced again when he recalled that he was covered in substances he didn't want to put a name to. "You… um, what are…"

Kunsel squeezed his shoulder. "At ease," he said, and he even said it with the barest hint of a smile, so Cloud almost believed him. Almost. Even though Kunsel was by far the nicest commander he had back in the infantry, he also remembered how Kunsel verbally flayed a new recruit when they accidentally pointed their pistol at a teammate. "How are you feeling?"

Cloud dropped his gaze. He felt genuinely terrible, like he had been chewed up and spit back out, but Tifa was just beginning to calm and he didn't want to say anything that could upset her. "Well," he managed after a lengthy pause, "I've been… um, better."

Kunsel's lips twitched. "I bet," he replied, sounding amused, but then he grew more somber. "What do you remember?"

Cloud's stomach twisted. He didn't remember much, truthfully. He could recall Hojo clearly, could distinctly feel the metal bindings biting into his skin, and then there was a shift in his memory. He remembered flashes of color and sensations; a dry breeze against his face; the feeling of blood splashing across his wrist; a wet heat encasing his hand; a voice in the dark, reminding him that he was alone.

Mother.

Cloud shook his head as the title skipped across his mind like a stone across a pond. "I don't really…" Wait. He looked up, frowning. "Where's that thing I was holding?" He didn't see it anywhere near him, and sharp disappointment cut into him at the realization. Did he lose it? No. No, he refused to believe that. He couldn't have lost it, it couldn't be far, it had been near him the whole time—

"Cloud," Tifa suddenly said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "What are you thinking?"

Cloud opened his mouth to tell her, but then realized that he couldn't really remember. An angry, disappointment feeling squirmed in his gut, but he had no idea why. "I… nothing," he finally said, a bit bewildered at himself. "I'm not thinking of anything."

Tifa watched him for a moment, then hummed. "If you say so." She clearly didn't believe him, but she also didn't push for answers and Cloud was disproportionately grateful for that. He wasn't sure if he could answer any questions right now. He didn't even know what was going on, really.

"We should keep going," said a new voice, and Cloud turned to see a red-haired wolf with a flaming tail step towards them. Its tail whipped through the air, causing stray embers to break free and fade as they fell, and Cloud turned to Tifa in alarm… yet she didn't even react. In fact, she even looked a bit grateful, so Cloud swallowed his unease and tried not to show his discomfort too much. He'll just ask Tifa about the wolf later. "We're near an exit, and I suggest we make haste towards it. We do not want to stay here for long."

"I agree," Kunsel replied. "Everyone ready to go?"

Barret shifted to rest his prosthetic gun on his shoulder, his smile sharp and cocky. There was a bruise on his neck, Cloud noticed, a bruise that was rapidly becoming dark and blotchy. "I sure as hell am," he replied, his voice raspy. "This place sucks."

"Yeah, let's go," Tifa said, wiping her eyes.

"I am ready as well," agreed the wolf.

"And we are too," added a feminine voice, and Cloud turned to see Aerith kneeling on the floor next to…

"Zack," Cloud breathed, feeling as if someone had punched him in the gut. Zack was leaning heavily against Aerith, his eyes closed as his head lolled against her shoulder, with a distinctive red splotch staining his clothed midsection. Aerith's arms were wrapped around him protectively — protectively against him, it seemed like, and Cloud just about choked. He made a move to get up, but Tifa's hands tightening on his shoulders, stopping him. Horror squeezed his chest. "Zack… Zack, is he…?"

"He's alive," Aerith replied, and she flashed him a small smile. It did nothing to soothe him. "Don't worry, Cloud. It's nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you," Cloud mumbled in echo, but his gaze stayed locked on Zack. He'd never seen the other man so pale, so wounded, so… so vulnerable. Not even in Nibelheim had Zack looked so bad, which made him wonder: "What happened?"

Aerith's expression soured, and her gaze flicked to Tifa in a gesture that could have meant anything. "Well…"

Cloud suddenly felt as if he had swallowed a stone. "Wait," he breathed. His voice sounded faint, even to him. "Wait. Did I…" The words remained lodged in his throat. His stomach churned. He could hardly bear to say them out loud, could hardly even think them, but… "Did I… Did I do that?"

The words came out in a rush, and a sudden quiet remained in the wake. Cloud couldn't help but think that the tense silence was accusatory; that if he paid close attention, he could hear them say, "Of course you did, who else?"

Yet, after a lengthy quiet, Aerith finally replied, "No." Her tone left no room for argument. "It wasn't you." At his side, Kunsel slowly exhaled as if he had been holding his breath; in front of him, Tifa's shoulders dropped in stark relief.

The knot of tension within Cloud tightened. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes." Aerith's response was immediate. "I'm positive. You did nothing wrong."

Cloud didn't believe that for a second, and his reluctance must have shown on his face because Tifa added, "She's right, Cloud. You didn't do anything wrong."

The emphasis on you concerned him. "But…"

"Ah, shaddup and listen to the ladies," Barret suddenly interjected. His hoarse voice only seemed to enhance the glower he leveled him with. "Spikey, just relax and let's just focus on getting out of here, yeah? I hate this place. Gives me the creepin' crawlin' heebie jeebies."

"That it does," Kunsel agreed, only to immediately make a face and slip his helmet back on.

Cloud met their gazes before sighing and letting Tifa help him back onto his feet. "Are we almost out?" he asked.

"Yes," the wolf, Red, replied. "The air is fresher this direction."

"Thank the gods," Barret muttered. "After this fuckery, I need some fresh air."

Aerith arched an eyebrow at him, her expression one steeped in disapproval. "Barret, do you talk like that around Marlene?"

"Hell no I don't!" Barret quipped, his voice still sounding sore. "And that's why I gotta let it all out here. Like, really, I think I've earned it after that fuck fest. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—"

"Would you shut up," Kunsel snapped, and Barret — amazingly — went quiet.

For a time, at least, because a half-beat later Barret sharply grinned and continued to say, "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—"

Kunsel threw his hands up in the air and walked faster.

Barret, chucking under his breath, turned to Cloud and shot him a wink. "Kid has a stick lodged up his ass so far it's jigglin' his brain," he told Cloud under his breath, as if that was any sort of explanation at all. "A little teasing is good for him."

"If you say so," Cloud managed, but he was hardly paying attention. Instead he was looking over his shoulder, his gaze seeking out… something. He couldn't quite remember what he was missing exactly, but he knew that it was something precious to him, something necessary and irreplaceable, except he didn't have it anymore; he had lost it, and that knowledge sent dull panic squirming in his gut. His eyes roamed over the room behind him, desperately searching, and yet there was nothing there. Only Aerith remained in the empty room. She was crouched over something in the corner; there was a frown on her face, and she reached down to pick something up. It took Cloud another moment to realize that it was a black feather.

A sudden twinge of pain cut through his thoughts, and he winced as he lifted a hand towards his temple.

"Cloud?" Tifa was looking up at him, her eyes wide with concern. "Are you okay? You just… stopped."

Cloud blinked down at her before managing a thin smile. "Yeah," he promised, "I'm fine."

He hoped that wasn't a lie.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I think the fact that this fic is ending soon is getting to me, because this chapter took me forever to write. I'm still not sure I'm 100% happy with it honestly, but it got us from Point A to Point B and it ticked all the boxes I wanted, so I called it 'good enough'! Or else we'd be here until December while I stressed out over how to word a specific sentence lol. Such is life.

But anyway! You can find me on twitter at Rand0mSmil3z - chapter previews are always posted there first.

Until next time! 🌻