"Argh! I was so close!" Dr. Drakken shouted, pulling at his thinning black hair as he paced back and forth through his island lair. "Kim Possible's memory was gone, and the military was nearly under my sole control!" His blue skin was almost glowing with frustration.
"You can skip the clean slate recap, Doctor D. I was there." Shego retorted. She was seated in front of a massive computer, her feet on the desk as she filed the claws of her gauntlets, a part of her form-fitting, green and black jumpsuit. "We all witnessed you fail. Again."
Drakken pat his blue lab coat down, brushing off the remnants of the last explosion he had found himself in and growled at her. "There's always something… new plan, Shego! While those loathsome teens are distracted with… ugh… feelings, I will hijack the world's drinkable water supply!" he announced, digging through a mound of odd contraptions that he had either stolen or invented. Mostly stolen. Pulling out a delicate-looking orb with a number of protrusions sticking out at various angles and lights that blinked on and off, he held it high to admire it. "With this Hydro-Evaporatalyzer, that I invent…"
"Stole." Shego interrupted, giving her claws one last file.
Drakken growled again. "Fine. That I st…"
"I stole."
"Stop that! That you stole, for me… Ha! I will threaten to boil off the drinking water of a capital city every hour until the world surrenders to…"
A loud, high-pitched ping resounded through the Caribbean Lair that the pair had called home, off and on, for the last several years. The ping was an alarm. A notification that the global sensors Dr. Drakken had launched from the base years ago detected something odd, and it caused him to jump in surprise, dropping the Hydro-Evaporatalyzer to smash on the floor in pieces. He gasped in shock.
"Yo, Dr. D! Your thing-ama-whatsis is dinging. I'm assuming that means there's stuff." Shego said, neglecting to even avert her eyes from the magazine she had picked up.
Drakken stepped over the device in disappointment and went to the computer console to investigate the beeping. "Hmm. Middleton. How surprising!"
"Oo! Is Kimmie pre-emptively thwarting your plans now?" she laughed.
"How do I…?" Drakken asked, beginning to push buttons randomly on the console.
Shego looked over the edge of her magazine, watching her compatriot struggle for several moments before rolling her eyes and sitting forward. She casually turned some dials and flicked some switches before typing on the console. The monitor zoomed in on the American town, showing a satellite view of where the ping was detected. "Looks like a power surge. A big one. Except that it's just kinda outside of the city. No bunkers, or bases, or… anything."
"Is it the Pandimensional Vortex Inducer? Let me guess, Professor Dementor has it again?" Dr. Drakken pouted.
"Similar, but not quite. Definitely giving off some portal lookin' energy. But it was only for a few seconds."
"A controlled power source strong enough to tear holes in the fabric of space?! I must have it! Put Operation: Thirsty Drakken on hold!"
"Do you honestly not hear yourself speak sometimes?"
"To the hovercraft, Shego!"
"Hold on. How could you possibly know what the bad guys were up to if you were in Middletown?" Amity asked.
"It's Middleton. Now hush, Bossy Boots. I'm getting to the good part."
"It's like in The Good Witch Azura when Hecate goes through her redemption arc, and the story focuses on her instead." Luz suggested, tilting her head to the side to try looking back at Amity.
"The Good Witch Azura is a work of fiction, Luz. I was lead to believe that Eda's story had some truth to it." she replied, narrowing her golden eyes at their storyteller.
Luz laughed. "Sorry Amity, but there's no actual teen heroes or super villains in the Human Realm."
"I may exaggerate a detail or two, but I can assure you that everything in this story is truth." Eda said with a grin, her yellowed snaggletooth protruding more than usual.
Luz rolled her eyes and smiled while Amity continued to eye Eda suspiciously.
"Anyway, while those two were off to the Wormrat races, I was killing it as a teacher…"
Eda slumped in her chair, her heeled boots up on the desk, and was snoring quietly as the classroom full of human students fidgeted and whispered to each other, either in boredom or curiosity. She could feel the suspicion wafting off of the red-haired student she had met outside, and it was keeping her awake.
"Excuse me? Ms. Clawthorne?" she asked, forcing Eda to sit up and pay attention.
Eda pointed a finger gun in her direction in reply. "Red. Go."
The teen cocked an eyebrow. "Right. Some of us are actually here to learn. Is there any chance we'll actually be doing anything today?"
"KP! What are you doing?" the blonde boy whispered. "This is the best class I've ever had!"
Eda stood and grinned. "You want to learn something? How about a history lesson?"
"But this is Math class…"
"In the sixteen hundreds, humans were pretty cavalier about burning people alive that didn't fit their world view… mostly women, people who used their left hands… red heads." Eda explained, turning toward the chalkboard and drawing a small spell circle where the students couldn't see. An illusion of dozens of people dressed in ragged clothes, led by a man in a black hat, surrounded a single woman tied to a pyre that called out for mercy.
"Wha!" the blonde boy cried out, covering his eyes as several other students gasped, laughed, or ignored the scene on the room's front wall. "Why would you show us that?!"
The Possible girl, however, didn't flinch. "I highly doubt this is approved viewing. And where's the projector?"
Eda grunted. "Pfft. Softies."
"Oh, please! This is tame compared to the Ghost Car video from, like, the middle ages that we had to watch last year for Driver's Ed." a brunette girl said, tapping away at her phone.
Eda's pointed ears twitched at the sound of a series of chirps and squeaks, and she spotted a tiny pink rodent crawl out of the Stoppable boy's pocket and climb its way up to his shoulder to comfort him. "Well this is interesting." she muttered, walking up the aisle of the desks to approach him. "Hey kid. Where'd you get that?" she asked, noting his giant ears sticking out from the sides of his head was very much round. She allowed the illusion on the front wall to fade, causing more gasps from the students still trying to postulate its source.
"Who? Rufus? Exotic Pet Aisle at Smarty Mart, where smart shoppers shop smart!" Ron informed her, clearly having used the sales pitch repeatedly.
"And he didn't come with a staff or anything? Where did this… Smarty Mart get him?" Eda asked, looking down at the naked mole rat with curiosity.
"Uh, are we learning about gross animals now?" the brunette complained again.
"While I hate to agree with Bonnie," Kim said, "What does any of this have to do with class?"
Eda stood straight and cast a sideways glance across each student in the room, her gold eyes boring into each of them. "You think numbers are actually going to help you in the future? No." she said, slowly walking back toward the front of the room. "Take some advice from someone that's been on their own for awhile now." Eda reached out to a piece of chalk and reluctantly stopped herself from using magic, heaving a sigh and picking it up in her fingers to write on the board. "The only things that are going to help you in life is looking out for yourself," she wrote number one on the board. "And being ready to move on when the going gets rough." she added, writing 'Move On'.
"Finally, some school lessons we can use." the brunette, Bonnie, said. "Hear that, Kim? Time to move on from that loser you call a boyfriend."
Kim growled, clenching her fists. "Ron is not a loser, Bonnie!"
Eda sat back at the teacher's desk, satisfied with how the class had gone. Now that the students were arguing with each other about their petty values, maybe now she could get a nap in. She put her feet back on the desk and leaned back, grinning to herself as she closed her eyes.
"Wow, Eda. You've come a long way since then." Luz laughed.
"Hey, those kids learned a valuable lesson that day. Never trust authority." Eda said, letting out a snort of a laugh and inspecting her cup. "I'm going to grab some more tea. You kids want anything?" she asked, standing.
"No thanks, Eda." Luz and Amity said in unison. Eda left to the kitchen with her cup, leaving the pair alone with a napping King.
"Do you really think any of Eda's story is true?" Amity asked, tightening her embrace of Luz.
"I don't know. She's definitely describing school in the Human Realm well, but super villains?" Luz said with a smile. She leaned back and pulled the blanket she had wrapped them both in closer over their shoulders, making an effort not to disturb King. "Either way, I appreciate hearing a story about home while getting to cuddle with my girlfriend." Amity lightly blew against Luz's ear, causing her to laugh as the tickling breeze made her squirm and blush before Amity left a peck on her cheek when Luz turned to playfully protest. "Amity!"
"What else am I going to do when I'm tied up with you?"
"Ugh. This again?" Eda asked, returning with her cup of tea. She sat on the couch again, set her cup aside, and prepared herself to continue. "So where was I? Right… teaching valuable life lessons."
Shego set the hovercraft down in the parking lot of Middleton High School. "Real subtle, Dr. D. You really think no one's gonna notice a flying blue car taking up four spaces?"
"I'm in a hurry, Shego." Drakken retorted, pulling a small scanner from his coat. "I don't have time for your namby-pamby ninja moves. I'm on a mission!"
"Yeah, uh-huh. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have traced the power signature here."
Drakken growled. "And of course it lead to the High School of my teenage foe."
"Can we just find the power source and get out of here before Kimmie shows up to ruin our day?"
"Right! With this Dimensional Potency Locator, I'll be able to pinpoint the location of the power source. It's gone dormant, but it's definitely here!"
Middleton High School was a sprawling structure, with an abundance of classes that catered from the remedial to the genius level of intellect in the students that were lucky enough to attend the public school. As Shego crept up to one of the nearest windows and Dr. Drakken tiptoed behind her, they peeked in to find a classroom full of chaos. Some students were throwing schoolwork or arguing, while others were intent on riding out the storm from under their desks. Meanwhile, the alabaster-skinned teacher wearing a brown, tweed suit with a large mane of ginger hair held back by a blood-red bandana lounged behind her desk with a smug grin and a yellowed fang overhanging her lip.
"Where do they find these teachers?" Shego asked.
"Perhaps if they hadn't been so abusive in college, I could have been teaching these cretins."
"Whoa there, Doc. The education system's struggling as it is." Shego chuckled. "Now, where's the doodad?"
Dr. Drakken turned in place, aiming his DPL around the classroom before settling on the inattentive teacher. "It must in the desk!"
"Okay, I can probably sneak in and get out before anyone… and you're already going in. Great."
Drakken had already opened the window and was crawling over the counter under the window. He paused abruptly upon reaching the desk, aiming his scanner around the desk until it pinpointed directly at the teacher's chest. He tilted his head in confusion, and a tiny owl poked its face out of the teacher's mass of hair and let out a warning hoot.
Eda opened one golden eye. "What do you want? Wait, are you one of my students?" she asked, looking down at Drakken's machine that was pointed at the hidden portal key she kept under her shirt.
"Yes?" Drakken said, drawing out the word in uncertainty.
"KP! Drakken!" Ron shouted from the back of the class, and the class went silent. The red-haired student tore her attention away from her argument with the brunette.
Kim leaped, performing a series of acrobatic flips to pass over her fellow students, hand springing off of a desk and coming down with an axe kick that would have brought Drakken to his knees had Shego not dived through the window, rolled to her feet, and crossed her wrists to block it. Kim landed and backflipped out of Shego's grasp in one move, crouched and ready for Shego to attack as her hands ignited in fluorescent green flames.
Eda's eyes went wide, and she sat in her chair with interest. "Whoa! A bad girl in a catsuit with green fire in her hands? This career certainly is rewarding."
"Give me that power source!" Drakken demanded, reaching for Eda's throat with heavy black gloves. His fingers managed to pull at the lanyard, exposing a brass key with a yellow, slit-pupil eye on the bow.
"Hands off!" Eda shouted, drawing a glowing spell circle in the air that summoned a blast of gold energy that threw him to the back of the room. The other combatants in the room suddenly went silent and wide-eyed at the magical attack. "What? This beauty shows up with fiery hands and no one bats an eye. I cast one magical blast and everyone freaks out?"
"Rrrrrr, SHEGO!" Drakken growled. "I want that key!"
"It's on my to-do list!" Shego shouted back as Kim charged forward with a flurry of strikes.
"What does Drakken want with our substitute teacher?" Kim demanded, careful to avoid Shego's charged hands.
"You keep asking, princess, but I'm not the one that keeps blabbing about the plan."
"Right. Why do I keep bothering with the sidekick?" Kim grinned.
Shego growled and brought her knee up, kicking outward and knocking Kim backward while backflipping up onto the teacher's desk. She twisted and slashed a clawed hand toward Eda's chest before colliding with a translucent gold field, resulting in a flash of brilliant light.
"Sorry, doll face." Eda grinned. "I go where I want, and do what I want." she said, the glowing field of energy holding back Shego's hand still in place. She swung repeatedly; her empowered strikes were blocked easily by Eda's simple gestures.
Green fire and gold electricity mingled as the two women glared at each other until a smirk pulled at Shego's lips. "Then what say we make a deal? You come with us, and we cut you in on a little bit of anarchy."
While Ron was engrossed in a slap fight with Dr. Drakken, Kim slid across the floor, using both legs to kick the teacher's desk back, causing Shego to lose her balance, fall to the floor on her back and pin Eda to the front wall of the classroom. Kim and Shego traded a few blows before leaping to their feet in unison, continuing their skirmish. "Anarchy, huh?" Eda asked, drawing a large spell circle that split into a dozen small ones that surged forward, seeking out all of the students. Kim Possible was struck first, being the closest, and she staggered back. The rest of the students quickly dropped where they stood, falling asleep on the counters or their desks where they had been hiding during the fight, including the Stoppable boy that fell against his opponent.
"Enh? What happened?" Drakken asked, dropping Ron at his feet.
"Sleep spell." Eda said.
Kim supported herself on the nearest student desk, her eyelids heavy and her legs growing weak. "You're… with them? Why?" she stammered, looking at Eda before falling to her knees.
"Sorry, Kimmy." Shego chided. "Enjoy your nap." she laughed.