Under the Covers (Sequel to Refresher Course)

by CapandCarter

Once she's discovered their past connection, Peggy agrees to work with Captain Rogers undercover to try to out the last section of Hydra that's trying to slither away. But she doesn't expect Rogers to be so good at it. A little too good. Hijinks, capers, subterfuge, tropes galore, and *tension* ensue. Enjoy! Here is the sequel to Refresher Course. It will mostly be fu

13. Chapter 13

His heart rate increases throughout the day. Leveling off early the next morning and becoming a steady soothing sound.

Even with Barnes' assurance that he would wake, Peggy notices a shift happen, he relaxes and seems to breathe easier. As does everyone else. The commandos cycle through the house and Mrs. Stark, or Maria as Peggy has come to know her, fusses over all of them in equal measure. There's always some food or meal happening. And Peggy thanks her over and over for housing them.

Maria hugs her and smiles, "anything for the people who brought my boys home safely."

"And now we can be out of hiding." Howard quips as he walks past, "with Pierce's permissions we know who held us and who was actively hunting after me. They're already wiped off the map."

He says that so easily. And Peggy blinks, her thoughts solidifying the fact that as charming and easy going as Howard is, he is not to be trifled with.

"Where's Tony?" Maria asks.

"Still downstairs." Howard says with a wry grin and a head shake, "can't seem to keep him away for long."

Peggy nods, she's noticed Anthony's unwillingness to leave Steve's side, but she's not sure why. She knows why she doesn't like to leave his side, but hasn't guessed Anthony's motives.

Laughter from the room where the kids are watching something catches their attention. She walks over to the room, leaning against the doorframe and smiling at the sight. Yelena and Pietro are arguing about something, both of their accents getting stronger as the argument continues, Wanda is laughing at their antics and some old sitcom is playing in the background. Rebecca, Barnes' little sister is sitting on the couch, braiding Yelena's hair and chiming in with her thoughts every once and a while. She's a few years older than the other three but she is easy going and is a perfect older sister.

"Peggy!" Her attention gets drawn to Pietro who has spotted her, "tell Yelena I'm right!"

"About what?"

Yelena shakes her head, earning a reproachful hand on her head from Rebecca, who is still trying to braid it. Yelena stills and her voice carries from where she sits, "that Russian food is better than Sokovian!"

Peggy laughs and holds up her hand in surrender, "you'll just have to have a night where you make dinner and then i can be the judge."

Wanda's eyes are alight, "oh! We can make Paprikash!"

They start giggling and talking and Peggy watches fondly for a while before she feels a small hand tap at her leg. She looks down to see Anthony standing there, "yes?"

"He's starting to move."

Peggy feels a lightness in her chest, "oh, is he? Well let's make sure we're there to greet him, hmm?" He nods and takes off and she runs to keep up with him.

—

She and Anthony play in the word search booklets and she takes her time. But when he wins the first one, she gasps and realizes she's been had. He's grinning mischievously at her and she suppresses her own amused grin, "oh alright, I see how it is, let's go, another round."

He laughs and they start again.

—-

Warmth wakes her. She blinks and shifts, feeling something heavy and warm resting on her head. As she moves, it disappears and she hears a soft, "hey."

Her head snaps up and she almost gasps in relief to see Steve awake and looking at her, a sleepy soft smile on his face. Anthony is laying on his chest, his head over Steve's heart. The sight is heartbreaking and adorable at the same time.

It's real.

He's real.

He's alive.

She lets out a choked sob and covers her eyes, feeling every fear rush up and out of her chest.

"Hey." He says again, "hey, come here—" his fingers find her wrist and he's peeling her hand away from her face," his grip isn't strong, still healing, but he doesn't let go, "come here."

She follows the pull allowing him to get her close enough where he can wrap an arm around her and tuck her head under his chin, "I'm here. I'm fine. I promised I would be, right?" He's whispering, careful not to wake Anthony.

"Hell of a test." She chokes out.

He laughs softly and kisses the top of her head. She relaxes into his arms and she hears him sigh, "How long?"

"11 days."

She feels him nod, "that's not too bad." She pulls her hair back to glare at him and he huffs out a laugh, "the plane was almost two months, so this is a huge improvement."

Well.

She won't argue with that.

"If you ever pull another stunt like that again—" she hisses, "I swear."

His smile is soft and he tilts his head, a hand coming up to brush against her cheek, "no, I'm not leaving you. Not ever again."

At that assurance, she's crying again and his eyes aren't exactly dry. But he looks tired and she gingerly climbs up onto the bed to lay beside him. Her hand rests besides where Anthony's does and Steve looks at the kid, with a questioning look.

Peggy shrugs, "we thought you'd know why he's grown so attached?"

Steve's brow furrows, "attached?"

Peggy nods, "he's hardly left your side. He eats, sleeps and mostly stays by your side. We assumed something happened while you two were together from Malibu."

Steve's smile is soft and he gently ruffles the kids wild brown hair, "I mean, he helped me a whole lot more than I helped him, so I don't have any idea."

She settles beside him and her voice is quiet, "well, I haven't minded having a partner in our vigil for you."

Steve laughs softly and rests his head back on the pillow, "You'll have to fill me in on everything that has happened."

"After you sleep." She suggests, "rest, and I'll tell you everything."

He doesn't even answer, just nods and is asleep in seconds.

—-

All throughout the next day she fills him in. Her coding of Pierce's permissions, The bodies they dragged, how the commandos and everyone at Shield was playing clean up. He listens intently, as does Anthony, who once he realized Steve was awake has only left his side to go to the bathroom and that's it.

She tells of how she'd already gotten Howard off the ship by the time she was blown up by Sitwell. Natasha, Sam, and the team have been busy getting things back in order.

Now that he's awake and looking healthy, Yelena, Wanda, and Pietro come and visit. They chatter at him and he asks questions about their time since he's last seen them. Peggy listens and watches as they talk and interact. Steve's hand never leaves hers.

Once it's dinner time, they file out, only for Rebecca to walk in.

Steve looks at over at her and Peggy notices that she's frowning.

Steve stays quiet, waiting for Rebecca to speak.

Peggy can sense Barnes right outside the door, his shadow falling on the floor from where he stands.

"You disappeared."

And it's almost like a slap to the face the way Steve flinches, "I know."

"I lost two brothers at once."

He's staring at his hands, "I thought you'd be mad."

"Yeah." She snaps, "Bucky told me about your stupid belief that we would somehow blame you." He stays quiet and Rebecca stomps forward, "Steve, you big idiot! We were heartbroken about Bucky, and we wanted you to grieve with us. Not go hide alone for half a decade."

"I didn't think you'd want to see me."

She huffs, "well stop thinking. Because you're bad at it."

Peggy hears Bucky snort and Steve grimaces, "I couldn't barely face myself." He whispers, "how was I supposed to face you?"

"Like we're your family." She snaps out and she crosses her arms over her chest, "I needed my other big brother and you didn't even give me the choice."

Steve looks genuinely ashamed as he sighs and hangs his head, "I'm really sorry, Rebecca. I didn't handle anything well."

Rebecca walks to the side of the bed he's propped up in and gently smacks his arm, "well don't you dare do it again."

He looks up, "I won't. Promise." Then his lips pull up into a grin, "I kept my promise though."

Rebecca tilts her head and furrows her brow in confusion, "wha—" then it must dawn on her because her face lights up, "what! Are you kidding me?"

He laughs, "yeah. I mailed them all back to my apartment though, so as long as Pierce didn't get rid of them, they're there."

"What!" Barnes asks, appearing in the doorway and looking at Steve in disbelief, "Even in Hawaii and Malibu?"

Steve nods and Rebecca leans forward, throwing her arms around Steve's neck and hugging him tightly. She sees the wince of pain but then he relaxes and wraps his arms back around her, "I keep my promises."

Rebecca laughs and pulls away, "that's true."

"What promise is this?" Peggy asks, feeling lost.

"When we first left for our first mission," Barnes starts, "Rebecca was only like 12 and she was begging to come with us, she didn't really understand that we were going to war." Rebecca blushes but she's looking at her brother's fondly, "and so Steve here—" he taps on Steve's foot under the blanket, "promised that he would buy her a magnet, from every city we were in and bring it back to her, so it could be like she was there with us."

Rebecca laughs, "our fridge got so full of magnets, but my ma and me could never bring ourselves to take them off. So we started putting them on the fridge in the garage and then on dad's gun safe." She laughs, "but when Bucky died…" She wrinkles her nose, "Steve stopped coming home. So I stopped receiving magnets."

Steve lets out a long sigh, tipping his head back against the pillow. "I almost didn't. That first mission without Bucky… I almost didn't. But then I saw this ridiculous one of a penguin with an umbrella and it made me think of how Bucky would have said 'that's the one'—" he looks over at Barnes, "Bucky always helped me pick them out." Barnes is smiling and Peggy feels an ache in her chest. A good one. One of family and belonging and traditions upheld even when people aren't there. "So I bought it. But I didn't know when I'd see her again, so I shipped it to my apartment. And I've been shipping them there ever since."

Peggy scoffs, "even in Sokovia?"

He nods, "yep, I did it there too."

"Alabama? Argentina?"

He smiles, "yes, and yes."

Peggy laughs, "I never even noticed."

Rebecca claps gleefully, "I can't wait to see them all!"

That makes Steve pause, "has anyone been to my apartment recently?"

They all shake their heads and he sighs, "I wonder what else Pierce has screwed with." Then his eyes widen, "Wait—" he turns to Barnes, "you said Pierce's body was pulled from the ocean?"

Barnes nods.

"Were his pockets checked?"

And Peggy knows what he's asking. "It was in salvageable." She says softly, "Trust me, I tried." But then she smiles and just past his hand, "just means you owe me a new one."

Steve's expression is sad, the thought of that drawing lost forever weighing on him, but then he nods and lets a bit of a smile back on his face, "I guess I have the real thing now, I can't complain."

She grins and nods, "indeed."

—-

Two days later he's on his feet and walking as if nothing had happened. The scars from the wounds are gone and on Peggy and Barnes' insistence he'd gotten a complete check-up, only to receive a clean bill of health.

"Come on," Steve says to Barnes, stretching, "let's go for a run. I wanna see."

Bucky laughs, "you're on."

"Can I come?"

They all look down to see Anthony standing in the doorway, back from grabbing food. Steve looks at him and his expressions shifts to something so fond it's practically fatherly, "sure, Tony. If you think you can keep up." Steve winks at the kid who lights a up and disappears, presumable to grab tennis shoes.

"You figure it out yet?" Barnes asks with a laugh.

Steve shrugs, his voice full of humor, "I have no idea."

They've briefly discussed why Anthony is so attached, why he practically never leaves Steve's side, but they haven't been able to puzzle it out yet. Its adorable though, and neither Howard or Steve seems to mind.

Peggy watches as they walk out to the backyard, a huge property with lots of space to run. Steve's hair gleams in the sun while Anthony's and Barnes' softly glows on the edges.

"It's wild, right?" Peggy doesn't startle. Too used to Barnes' affinity of trying to get a rise out of her, but her heart does leap a bit at the appearance of Natasha's voice.

"You're back." She says with a grin.

Natasha stands beside her and nods, "yeah, I decided that Sam and the rest can figure it all out, we're getting close to being done anyways. And I heard Steve woke up, so I wanted to come see."

Peggy points to the man who is now starting to fade into the distance as they jog towards the back property line.

"Any word on Fury or Hill?"

Natasha frowns. "No." Her voice is sad, "I'm just hoping they're in hiding somewhere, and when all this information hits the news, that they'll be able to catch wind and come back out. If they're both actually dead…"

Peggy doesn't need her to finish. It would be a tough loss for Shield to lose them both in such a tumultuous time.

"He's already up and running?"

Peggy nods.

Natasha laughs, "wild."

—

It's another three days of Steve catching up, eating his weight in food, and playing with the kids before Barnes walks into the rooms and puts his hands on his hips. "Okay, everyone but Carter, out."

The group looks up in surprise and Steve tilts his head, "what?"

"I need to talk to Steve." He says, "and I need it to be alone. Except for Carter. So please leave."

Everyone leaves, looking at them curiously, except Anthony.

"Tony." Barnes says, "I promise he'll most likely still be in one piece when I give him back."

Anthony's eyes narrow, "he's been through a lot." He says with as much of a serious tone as an almost ten year old can muster, "so you better be nice."

They all pause, looking at each other curiously as Anthony leaves the room. "Well," Peggy comments, "there's our first clue."

Steve scratches at his nose, "so he's like this just because I was dead?"

Barnes scoffs, "will you listen to yourself?" He makes air quotes, "'just because I was dead'? As if that's nothing!?"

Steve sighs, "I'm not downplaying it, I'm just saying!"

"Barnes," Peggy cuts in, "get to the point."

Barnes shuts the door and turns to glare at Steve, "we need to talk."

Steve laughs, "uh, yeah. I figured."

"Don't laugh. This isn't funny."

Steve's expression shifts to confused. "Okay?"

"The scars."

Steve looks at them, confused, "what about them?"

"I want to know why you were torturing yourself for years with them."

Steve blinks, his tone shifting to wary, "what are you talking about?"

Bucky steps forward and points accusingly at Steve, "don't play dumb." Barnes snaps, "I tried it. I followed your little method. I kept that damn piece of wire in for two days and it was fucking awful."

Steve winces, "oh."

"Don't just say 'oh'." She admonishes, "what on heavens were you thinking?"

Steve rubs at his chest, "honestly…" he points at Barnes, "It was my penance. I deserved to be miserable because I let you fall." Barnes opens his mouth, face furious, but Steve waves his hand and stands, making the other man fall silent. "They were what I thought I deserved for failing you and Monica and everyone else so spectacularly." There's silence as he looks at them and then nods, "It was wrong. I know that now. But they kept me sharp. I only took lives when absolutely necessary. And I did everything in my power to not lose a teammate before I went undercover. It wasn't my best moment—"

"It was idiotic!" Barnes shouts. "It's like you can't forgive yourself for your mistakes. You'd rather torture yourself instead!" And that's it. The crux of what Barnes has been worried about since he admitted to her that they were painful.

"No." Steve says softly. He breathes in deep and looks at Peggy, "no, that's not it. Because I couldn't report my mistakes, I thought that was the way to pay for them. But no." He shakes his head, "I've learned that's not the way." He turns to Barnes and gestures to her, "I have you two to thank for that."

And she's sure Barnes doesn't mean to. He'd told her he was going to have this discussion in private, but his emotions are running high and he's speaking the words before he can stop himself, "why didn't you tell me about your dad?"

Steve's mouth goes into an 'o' shape and his eyes flick to her.

She winces, "I'm sorry, I thought he already knew."

Steve sighs and his jaw is tight, "how long have you known?"

"Vegas." Barnes grits out.

Steve looks at the ground and he brushes his hands against the front of his jeans, "it's not a big deal, Bucky."

"It's a huge deal!" Bucky shouts, "you could have told me! I could have helped!"

"It wasn't your problem—"

"YOU WERE ALWAYS MY PROBLEM!" Bucky practically bellows, and he's heaving, "You were my brother, Steve! I—" his voice is cracking and he's angry but it's mostly desperate sadness on his face, "I wanted you to be my problem. I would have done anything to help. To stop that from happening!"

"You did help, Buck." Steve says softly, "You were my friend. That's all I needed." Barnes is glaring at him but Steve doesn't back down. "I would have died a million times over without you there to pull me out of a fight. That's what I needed."

Bucky's teeth are gritted, "don't you think maybe that's why you got in so many fights to begin with?"

Steve shrugs, looking like he doesn't like that line of thought. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter. He's gone and I'm—" She sees that he wants to say that he's fine, but he stops and takes a deep breath, "I'm working on it."

"All those years." Bucky says, "I never even noticed."

Steve shakes his head, "that's the wrong perspective. You noticed me to begin with. You decided to be my friend when I was nothing but a twig. That was the best thing a little kid could ask for. Someone to choose him when he had nothing to offer."

Peggy feels her throat heat at the emotion in those words, "I could have done more." Bucky says tightly, his own throat bobbing with emotion.

"You've done plenty." Steve assures, "and you came back to me. You fought your way back from hell. You made me willing to be on a team again. And that meant I was willing to work with Peggy." He turns to smile at her, "and that led to this—" he reaches out and she meets his hand halfway, intertwining his fingers with hers, "the best family I could ever have the privilege of choosing."

She smiles a watery eyed smile at him and Barnes is fighting back emotion and Steve laughs, gathering his friend into his arms and pulling Peggy along with him. His arms wrap around them both and Peggy can't help but relax in the overwhelming warmth.

—

Another day passes and Steve moves into the room next to hers. She goes to knock on his door but it swings open. She steps in, speaking quietly in case he's asleep, "Steve?"

A sound catches her attention and she realizes steam is pouring out of the bathroom.

She's about to leave when she hears it.

Humming.

Her chest tightens at the memory of him humming back at that camp and her curiosity overwhelms her. She steps forward and listens, it's a tune she recognizes but she can't remember where she knows it from.

"Christmas Star."

And this time she does startle. Letting out a huff of air and clutching her chest as she turns around. Barnes is standing behind her, leaning against the doorframe and his face thoughtful.

After she glares at him for scaring her (to which he grins) he walks forward and eats her at the door, listening.

"What?"

"From Home Alone 2."

Her brow furrows, "That's the Christmas movie?"

"You haven't seen it?"

"I have," she says, "just… not recently."

Barnes chuckles softly, "what do you remember about it?"

"There's a child… and he's home alone?"

Barnes laughs again. "You're not wrong, but the second movie is about a stubborn and precocious blonde kid who takes on some crooks in New York City and comes out on top. Sound familiar?"

She feels the smile pull on her lips as she rolls her eyes, "is it his favorite movie?"

"He does like it, but no, it was his ma's. You know why?"

Her voice is a whisper, "why?"

"I always saw her watching it. Didn't matter if it was Christmas or not. She watched it pretty often. Maybe 3-4 times a year. It was background noise in their house a lot. Steve and I always laughed at the crooks and funny scenes and felt warmed by the nice message, but it meant something more to her." He takes a step closer to the door and they listen for a moment as Steve is still humming. "One year, maybe a year before she died, Steve was really sick. Bad bout of pneumonia and it was Christmas break. I practically lived over there at that point. Keeping Steve company and helping Sarah out when she had to work. I came over and Steve was asleep and she had his head pillowed in her lap so he could breathe easier and Home Alone 2 was on the screen. I wasn't surprised by this at all, and we were chatting for a bit before she looked down at Steve and brushed his hair off his warm forehead, and she said 'do you know why I love this movie so much?'." He smiles, it's sad, but it still has warmth, "I had no idea, obviously, and so she told me." His voice gets softer, his eyes looking fond as he slides down, sitting on the floor, back against the wall. She sits as well, feeling the moisture from the cracked bathroom door, "she said, 'It's about a boy, who does what's right when it means protecting others, and even though he should be at a huge disadvantage, he never gives up, and he doesn't doubt himself either, and you know what?" He's repeating these words verbatim, she can tell, "the whole time his mother is doing everything she can to get back to him. He doesn't need her, but he wants her to come back. He wishes for her at the end and she appears. He's saved the day, made a difference, changed people's lives, and the mother is there, loving and supporting him. Even if they fight or disagree. They love each other."

Her lips are pursed and she leans her head against the door frame, listening to Steve's soft humming, "she must have been someone really special."

Barnes nods. "She was. She absolutely was."

"I heard him hum this before."

Barnes looks at her, "really? When?"

"Back before he knew you were alive. At the camp you joined us in. One day I woke up in the early morning, cramps were killing me and I decided to take a hot shower, then as I was trying to leave, he appeared, and instead of being found naked in the communal shower, I hid." She chuckles softly at the memory, "and then he was humming. It was something soft and sweet, and now I recognize it. It was this."

Barnes smiles and they listen until the shower shuts off. They slink out of the room before he can catch them.

—-

One night, after all the kids have gone to bed, Steve shifts Anthony so he's resting on the bed and Steve sits up, "I think it's time."

Peggy looks up from her novel, "time for what?"

"A true battle."

Barnes looks up from his phone, Natasha asleep, her head in his lap. "Battle?"

Steve reaches down and under the bed, "I had Maria pick something up for us." Peggy gasps as he pulls out three identical word search booklets, brand new.

Barnes leans forward, snagging one and a pen, "oh, you're on!"

They pick a random page and then cover it, pen ready. "On your mark." Barnes starts.

"Get set," Steve adds with a grin.

And her voice is gleeful as she whispers the last word, "go."

Four minutes later Steve's voice is triumphant and teasing as he quietly says, "done."

Barnes groans but doesn't quit and Peggy keeps her focus, trying to find her last word.

"Done!"

They both cry at the same time. They look at each other in displeasure at their inability to not tie, and Steve just laughs, looking at them both with utter joy.

—-

Less than three weeks after he wakes up, Steve is back in Shield. They both smile at how at ease everyone seems. They've done an excellent job of cleaning out the rats and now they're rebuilding.

"The news hits the outlets tomorrow." Carol says, "hopefully after that we get a better reading on who comes out of the woodwork." Her eyes glance down at Anthony, who had refused to let Steve go to Shield headquarters without him. Which Steve had told her he found odd, but endearing. A few nights ago, he'd said he figured that the longer they got away from his death, the more Anthony would relax and ease back. But so far the kid has stuck to his side. Steve's grip on Tony's hand is firm, and it's strange because she had watched the child offer his hand first, as if to comfort Steve. Steve hadn't hesitated, grasping it in his. He'd eyed her and she'd shrugged. There must be something they're missing.

Natasha peels off towards Clint who is back from helping Scott and Sam place the last of the girls in homes. They start chatting as they head down towards the ranges. Suddenly Dugan appears and he makes a noise that has everyone in the vicinity pausing and looking at them in confusion, but this time Steve laughs, loud and clear. It rings through the large space. And that causes people to look on in more shock. Dugan looks positively alight with glee at the sound and his booming laugh joins the fray. Bucky is smiling and Steve's laugh must be like a siren call because suddenly Monty, Denier, Gabe and Morita appear, all laughing and joking and clapping each other on the shoulder.

"Did you know Peggy won the bet, all the way back in Hawaii?" Barnes says with a laugh.

The commandos make comments of surprise and happiness only for Peggy to step forward and quiet them, "yes, but—" she turns to Steve and he's smiling until he sees her face, he shakes his head,

"Peggy, don't—"

"He knew the whole time." She finishes, not letting him stop her. She eyes the commandos, "I found out in Alabama that he knew about the bet the whole time."

It's pindrop silence as Steve is standing there, his face pinched, as if waiting for the onslaught.

"You what!" Gabe chokes out.

Steve sighs, mock glaring at Peggy before laughing and shrugging, "what can I say. Big shocker, I'm not great at handling certain things." Then his face gets serious, "I am sorry for pushing you all away. That was the wrong response. And it won't happen again."

Peggy watches as each of the commandos don't hesitate a moment before smiling and grabbing at Steve, shaking him and instantly falling back into rapport.

—-

Steve is walking through Shield, feeling like he's a completely different person than he was the last time he was here.

Tony's hand rests in his and he glances down at the boy occasionally. He'd thought he would loosen up, but Tony hasn't, sticking by his side, and still hanging around him. He doesn't mind, he just doesn't understand.

They're almost done with their check in at Shield when they run into Sam.

The man smiles and greets them, and then he catches sight of Tony, his eyes grow a bit in surprise, "Oh, hey man! The mini engineer is here."

Tony looks up at Sam and nods, his face serious, "hey, Sam."

"How's your dad?"

"He's good."

Sam's eyes glance at Tony often and Steve senses that Sam walks with them to the parking lot on purpose, talking and giving his updates about the girls and where they've all been placed, while subtly keeping an eye on the kid. Natasha and Bucky are by the car waiting already.

Tony gets up into the car and Natasha and Bucky get in as well. Steve turns to say goodbye to Sam.

"Is Tony okay?"

Steve tilts his head at Sam's question, "yeah, why?"

"He's here with you, just wasn't sure why." But Steve can tell that's not the truth.

"Tony's fine." He says slowly as Sam's eyes don't stay on anything too long.

Peggy laughs and bumps against Steve's shoulder, "actually, Anthony has become quite attached to Steve. He sat vigil with me until Steve woke up, and then has barely left his side since."

Steve smiles and shrugs, "Yeah, I don't know why. But it doesn't bother me, he's a cool kid."

Sam's face shifts, turning solemn. "Oh."

Steve shifts, looking back to the car where Tony is buckling up and playing on his phone. "What?" Sam's face pinches, "Sam, what is it?"

Sam steps forward, saying goodbye to Tony and the other two before shutting the door and stepping away, his back facing the SUV. "He was watching it when I got back."

Steve feels Peggy's hand grip his, "watching what?"

"I was going to tell you—" Sam's eyes flicker behind them and he sighs, "I, uh, just haven't had the opportunity. And I wanted to do it in the right context, with preparation. Not just spring it on you."

Peggy's looking back and forth between them, "tell him what?"

Natasha rolls down the window, "we ready?"

But Steve needs to know what he's talking about, "Nat, can you take Tony to the hotel?" She's about to say yes when the back door opens and Tony's scrambling out.

"No!" He comes to Steve's side and grabs his hand, holding it tightly, "No. Sam, you promised."

Sam sighs, "I promised we'd wait. Not that I'd never tell him."

Tony's hands grip his tighter, and then starts trying to drag Steve towards the car. "We have to go."

Sam's voice and face is anguished, "Tony—"

"We have to get back to the hotel." Tony snaps, his strength not having an actual effect but Steve allows himself to be moved, "my dad's waiting for us."

Sam falls silent and just watches as Tony opens the door and then circles around Steve, shoving at his hip to get him up into the car. Steve pulls himself into the car and Tony climbs in, over his lap, and settles in the middle seat. Sam sighs and gives a small wave before walking away. Steve's eyes catch Peggy's who looks lost, like he feels, but she just slowly walks around the car and gets in on the other side.

—-

Peggy feels strangely back in the car in Malibu as Natasha is the sole person attempting to keep up a conversation. Tony's gripping Steve's hand so hard his little knuckles are white, and Steve's face is contemplative.

Barnes keeps looking back in the rearview mirror, catching her eyes, but she just shrugs. She has no idea.

—

Howard sighs and gestures at his son, who is now asleep on Steve's bed, hand still fisted on Steve's shirt who sits beside him. "He won't tell me either."

Peggy looks at the child and she feels dread at what he must have seen to make him act this way.

—

Peggy looks up at the sound of the doorbell.

"Hey, Jarvis?" Howard calls, his hands occupied with papers and files, "can you get that?"

They hear the door open and a low voice speak. Steve is standing, eyes wide.

"What?" Natasha asks, "who is it?"

Barnes looks at Steve, "Oh shit—"

And then Nick Fury is standing there, glaring at them, sunglasses over his eyes and Hill at his right hand side.

"Y'all were just going to leave me hanging like that?"

Peggy and Howard both are on their feet and Barnes is yelling, "NATASHA!"

Steve strides forward and stops right in front of the man, "are you alright?"

Fury huffs out a laugh, "I got three bullet wounds to the chest, but Hill got me out of there in time. Been healing ever since."

Steve reaches out his hand, "good to have you back, sir."

Fury pulls up his glasses, revealing his one good eye and scarred second one, "Oh yeah?"

Steve chuckles, "yeah."

Fury points to him, "wait. He laughed. Do I win?"

And Steve laughs harder.

—-

"So, once I realized something big was happening under my nose, I started putting safeguards in place, and closing my circle of trust." Fury sits, leaning against the back of the couch with a cup of coffee in his hand.

The whole group is there, except the kids who are on an outing with Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis.

Except Anthony. Who is glaring daggers at Fury nonstop. Though no one knows why.

Thankfully Fury only seems amused by it.

"So i kept switching up your mission order." Fury explains, "not that you guys knew, but I would say you were going to Argentina, then transfer you Sokovia. Only to hit Argentina later, when you were supposed to Malibu." He gesture sto Hill. She was the only one I told ahead of time, and everyone else just got parcels of information. Which helped your missions not get screwed up." He points to Howard.

"When you guys were on your mission in Spain, is when I transferred Howard Stark to Malibu. I knew you'd end up there eventually and I wanted that meeting to happen." He points to Natasha, "remember the list of businesses I suggested?" She nods, "I put Mrs. J's on there and then ordered Steve's clothes too tight, making sure he'd go and see her."

Steve shakes his head in disbelief, "I thought you were still just pissed at me because of Sokovia."

Fury chuckles, "I mean, I was. Getting those kids out of Sokovia meant money and resources I couldn't hide from whatever mole was after your information. So I was pissed. Rightfully so."

Steve winces, "I didn't know."

"I know. And you never fucking trust me. But hey," he gestures to the room full of people listening, "It all worked out. And turns out you saved the day. Again."

Steve wrinkles his nose. "Why'd you want us to find Howard?"

Fury leans forward, "I'd always had my suspicions that someone in Shield was a mole trying to get the information as to where the Starks were being kept. I should have guessed Pierce faster but he was a slippery bastard. But once I figured out it was Pierce, I knew we'd need him," he points to Howard, "To be gotten into safe hands. And you were the only team on mission that I trusted. That's why the Hawaii mission got pushed up and the Malibu one pushed back. We needed time to make sure Maria and Tony were out of the house, but—" he gestures at the kid, "you apparently decided to stay." Tony glares at him harder and Fury just gives a half smile of amusement, then he looks at Steve and grins a wry grin, "and really, I knew seeing him would make you question everything. You'd be willing to doubt anyone, even me, once you knew both Barnes and Howard were living." He shrugs, "didn't work out quite how I planned, but it did work out."

He feels a hand rest on his leg and he looks over to Peggy who is smiling at him like she can't believe after everything it did actually work out.

—

Fury and Hill are walking out the door and Peggy tells Steve she forgot to ask something and she'l be right back in. He nods, getting distracted by Anthony who is tugging him back to the room where Barnes and Natasha are.

"Director Fury—"

"Just Nick, now." The man says with a grin, "how can I help you?"

She pauses and Fury and Hill look at her, waiting patiently, "Steve mentioned something once." Fury raises an eyebrow, "and I wondered what he meant."

"What was it?"

She remembers Steve's words, "he's always good about food."

Fury, for the first time in her life, looks guilty, He takes a deep breath and then looks at her, "that a kind way of putting I fucked up bad and he took the brunt of it."

"What do you mean?"

Fury leans against the car, his face tipped up, "back when Steve first started contracting with Shield, he wasn't ours yet, just a solider for hire… We didn't know about his metabolism. We weren't allowed to have Erskines' paperwork and Stark wasn't really around much at this point, so we didn't know he needed more food. Then Steve pisses me off." Fury grimaces, "he was always a wild card but he knew what he was doing, and that pissed me off more. I wasn't new to being director but I was new to contracted soldiers and I felt like his semi-disregard for my orders was out of line. So, on one mission, where he refused to leave a village until there was a shelter and food for people after a Hydra attack, which we did have coming by the way, but it was over a day out, I got mad. I felt like Stvee didn't trust my leadership. I had no idea at the time it was just who Steve was. So I punished him." Fury glances at Hill who is listening with wide eyes, making Peggy think she hadn't know the full story, "on his next mission…" Fury rubs at his brow, "I had noticed that he'd like to eat a lot back on base, or at Shield and… I just thought hat was cuz he liked food. Not because he needed that much, so I made sure that his mission pack was severely under supplied."

"Nick!" Hill says with a snap.

"I know." Fury says firmly, "I know. But I'd packed more food. I had extra for him. All I was waiting for was for him to ask. I wanted to say 'I'll give you more food if you fucking follow orders.'" He sighs, "I'd planned for him to cave on day one and then be done with it." Peggy feels anger at the man, but he looks properly ashamed, so she stays quiet. "But he never did. I got more pissed because he wouldn't give in. But he didn't ask for more food. Never asked his fellow mission buddies for any of theirs. And it was a three week mission. So by the last week the kid was starving, But he never said a damn word. And I didn't know he was starving. He didn't act like it. The serum was keeping him going, but it was taking a huge toll on the inside. He was eating maybe 2,000 calories a day and needed 10."

"How'd you find out?" Hill asks.

"This was right before the Hydra lab testing facility."

Hills eyes widen, but Peggy doesn't know what that means, "What is that?"

Fury shifts, rubbing at his scarred eye, "the mission was to track down where Hydra was doing the majority of its bioweapons testing. And we finally found the base, hidden in some unpopulated area in Kazakhstan. But it was empty of everything except the animals they'd been testing on." He points to his eye, "we split up, searching the facility and I picked up a cat that was roaming around, having no idea they'd been testing dipping claws in poison." Peggy gasps and Fury nods, "yep. That cat got in a good swipe and you know who the closest man was to me?"

Her voice is quiet, "Steve."

He nods and sighs, "Steve. The poison was instant, so I was bleeding and bubbling from my eye, and Steve grabbed the cat from my hands, hauling it away. It went feral, scratching the crap out of him before he could figure out what to do with it. He didn't want to kill it, so he ran into one of the lab rooms and shoved it in a cage. I was still in the hallway jacked up and half blind. He carried me out of the building to the med van." He frowns, "I remember watching Steve with scratches all over his hands and arms and neck and he was shaking, but refusing treatment because he said I needed it first. He said he was fine, the serum could handle it."

Her throat goes dry, suddenly knowing where this story was going.

"They were able to counteract it before the poison got too far. Saving my other eye, my sinuses, and my brain." Fury lets out the saddest sigh she's ever heard from him and he jabs a thumb at himself, "but you wanna know who made the serum so weak that it didn't help him?"

"Geez, Nick." Hill says through gritted teeth.

"As they were patching me up, Steve goes back inside to complete the data retrieval. Until Dugan calls him over the comms and he doesn't respond." His frown deepens, "They find him passed out, skin blackening from the poison."

Peggy closes her eyes, how often had Steve suffered in silence in his life?

"He wasn't healing and he didn't wake up for the next 24 hours. That's when I reached out to Howard for the first time." Fury glances back at hill, "Howard requested all these tests and we did the best we could for where we were, even using some of the Hydra equipment from the lab." Then he sighs, "and I got a call from Howard practically shouting my ear off, wondering why the hell Steve was so malnourished and nutrient deprived and did I know what the hell I was doing and what the hell I was dealing with and why was Steve getting his recommended amount of nutrients and so on and so forth for almost an hour." Peggy is not sad that he's been chewed out. "I learned that the healthier Steve is, the faster he heals, the easier he takes hits. So since he'd had three weeks of starvation, he couldn't bounce back nearly as fast. And instead of the serum healing and pushing out the poison, it was struggling to fight it altogether." He shrugs, "his healing process was slow and more painful than necessary because we didn't have any way to get him nutrients while unconscious. There was no IV, and I only had solid foods. Even when he woke up he couldn't keep down at the beginning." Fury winces, "Barnes and the commandos practically tore me to shreds when I explained what I'd done and then tore Steve to shreds for not asking for more food when he was conscious enough to understand."

"As they should." Hill states, "that's a royal fuck up, Fury."

"I know, Hill." The man says with a head shake, "I know. And it never happened again. Steve and I talked about it, and he didn't even blame me, which of course made me feel more like shit."

"That's why he has that phone. The other number."

Fury looks at her in surprise but he nods, "after that, I took a good hard look at my leadership choices and decided I wanted Steve on my side. I gave him that phone and I kept it on me at all times. Never once did I not answer when he called and he only called twice." He points to his pocket, "Pierce destroyed both when he shot me, which is why I couldn't answer when Steve called after Pierce took you. Not that I could have helped anyways. But it's good to know he still trusted me enough to try to call."

Peggy steps forward and points a finger at him, "I'm glad you've learned your lesson because you treat him like that again and I'll kill you myself."

He holds his hands up in surrender, but a grin on his face, "no fights there. Now that you're going to be head of Shield I don't want to be on your bad side."

She pauses, her hand frozen in mid air, "what?"

Fury chuckles and points to her, "I already told you that. When I'm done, it's you. And man, after this last year, I'm done. So congrats Director Carter. You're up to bat."

And suddenly the vision of her and Steve sitting in his apartment in Brooklyn with Wanda and Pietro doing homework at the dinner table appears, and the words come without thought, "what if I don't want it?"

He blinks. And then his good eye crinkles and his smile grows, "well then, just say that. Shield will have to figure something out."

Then they're waving goodbye and she stands there, watching them go.

—-

When she walks inside, Steve catches her eye and he tilts his head in question, "everything okay?"

She shakes her head, "you're an idiot. And I love you."

He furrows his brow but smiles, "I love you too."

—-

They finally get clearance and all the documentation and everything sorted out for the kids. They're made full citizens and they're placed under Mrs. and Mrs. Barnes' care for now because Peggy and Steve still haven't had time to have that discussion. On their first day back in New York, Peggy watches in amusement and Mrs. Barnes gives Steve an earful about 'how he avoided them' and 'how dare he, doesn't he understand that he's their son and that he should have never doubted their love for him'. Then Barnes tells his mom in front of Rebecca and his dad that Steve's dad was abusive and Steve practically goes sheet white, and then suddenly Mrs. Barnes is crying and holding Steve so tightly he might be getting strangled but he doesn't seem to mind because he just clings back to the only mother figure he has left.

And, hours later, after all the crying and talking is through, Peggy is settled besides Steve, tucked up against him, Rebecca at their feet and Bucky and Natasha on their other side, as they watch home movies and videos of Steve and Bucky and they laugh and they cry and Peggy gets to see Sarah Rogers and hear her voice and she cherishes the knowledge more than she can put into words.

—

Steve slips the key into the cylinder and turns it. THe door makes a shushing noise as it shoves mackages out of the way. He looks down at the maybe one hundred little packages that litter the area in front of the door.

"These the magnets?" Peggy asks quietly.

"Yeah." He says, "surprised they're not all ripped open if Pierce was here."

Peggy sighs, eyeing a shattered frame that is splattered on the ground, "seems he was after something specific."

Steve looks at the frame and his jaw tightens. "Yeah."

Then she looks up, realizing she's in Steve's home for the first time.

The layer of dust is thick, although it's brushed aside or missing in some places as Pierce and whoever he had with him had rooted around. It's a very simple place. There's a few pictures on the wall, and she can see why he chose the eclectic furniture he did because in a strange artistic way it goes together, but other than that, it didn't feel very much like a home.

"I don't want to live here anymore."

She looks up to see him standing stiffly in the kitchen, looking out the tiny window. "This was never my home, it was just a place. And now that he's been here. I don't want it." He turns to her and his eyes are intense, "I won't have much, because I still need to pay off my contract to Shield, but I want a new place. A place you'll want to live."

She smiles, and two ideas flit through her mind.

One, she's absolutely sure Shield is going to release him from his contract without him owing one more cent. But also… She tilts her head and reaches out a hand, "I know you love New York…" she wrinkles her nose, worried what he'll think, "but I was wondering… What do you think of D.C.?"

He doesn't immediately turn down the suggestion, "why?"

"I think Pietro and Wanda might like it… and Fury offered me his job."

He blinks, and then she's being stopped up in his arms and spun around and kissed, "What! Why didn't you tell me! That's amazing!"

She's laughing and kisses him back until he sets her down, "I was worried you wouldn't want me too."

He looks affronted, "what!? Why not?"

"I know how hard you've been working to stop fighting."

He shakes his head, "no, no, that's not what I meant. I will never stop fighting for what I believe in. I just was having a hard time with how things were addressed, and—" he smiles at her, "I think you can look back and see my perspective and worldview was pretty negative, I think you'd be amazing at that job. You should take it."

"You'd move for me?"

He places his hands on either side of her face and smiles so softly at her it makes her throat tighten with emotion, "I would move the earth for you. Anything. I can think of nothing I'd like more than to fight by your side and watch you run the show how it should be."

She tugs him down and kisses him fiercely.

—

Steve watches as Peggy sits beside him and she looks nervous as Wanda and Pietro look at them, waiting for her to speak.

"So," she finally starts, "I've been offered a job and it's in DC and…" she glances at Steve but then back to the kids, "I'm planning on taking it, and Steve is planning on moving there as well." Steve watches the briefest flashes of disappointment start to grow on their faces before Peggy says the next words, "We'd love it if you guys moved down there with us." They sit stunned, "We'd wait to move you till the school year is over if your prefer or you could move now, and that's only if you want—"

"Yes!" Wanda squeals, jumping up and throwing herself around Peggy's neck, "yes!"

Pietro is smiling too, "yeah, totally, that would be cool."

Then Wanda stops, "wait, would Yelena be coming?"

Steve smiles, "Bucky and Natasha are planning on moving to DC too, and they're going to ask if she wants to live with them later today."

And Steve's heart glows as Wanda looks at him, her eyes alike with wonder, "like a family? We'll all be together like a family?"

Steve nods, his throat tight, "Yeah, kid, like a family."

—

It's more painful than she expects to watch Steve say goodbye to Tony. They've found an apartment in DC that they both like. Steve will be in a temporary apartment until the wedding, which is not an 'if' it's a 'when'.

But now they've packed all their belongings from his apartment, her old apartment and gotten their last items from Howard's property. They've said their goodbyes to the Jarvises and Howard and Maria, and now it's just Anthony standing there, looking like he's almost in a panic at the thought that Steve is leaving.

"I'm going to come visit." Steve says firmly, partially confused still but unwilling to belittle Anthony's feelings, "I promise."

"You're not going on any more missions, right?"

Peggy blinks in surprise and sees the same emotions on Steve's face, "I don't know. I'm not planning on it at the moment."

Anthony's eyes get more worried, "you're going to be careful, right?"

Steve ruffles his hair, "I will. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

Anthony's voice is quiet, "okay."

Howard and Maria are looking on from the doorway. Steve hugs Anthony tightly and then steps to the driver's door. Peggy turns, reaching for a hug which Anthony gives, but as he holds her tight he whispers, "don't let him watch it."

She pulls back and looks at him, "don't watch what?"

His face clouds over, "Sam knows. Don't let him show Steve."

"But I should watch it?" His instructions had mentioned Steve, but not her.

He looks at her and then his eyes trail to Steve, "I don't know. But you better take care of him."

And Peggy feels that command to the core of her soul. "I will."

He nods and stares at her, "good."

—-

On her first day as director, Sam appears in her doorway.

And she knows he's decided he can wait no longer.

"Yes, Agent Wilson?"

"Tony told you?"

"He mentioned there was something that I shouldn't let Steve watch."

Sam sighs and slumps through the door towards a chair in front of her desk into which he sits heavily

"That bad?" She jests.

His eyes meet hers and take her breath away. "Worse."

She waits, but he stays silent. "Sam, what is it?"

He shifts and covers his eyes as if he can't look at her while he speaks. Tony was the one to pinpoint your location using Sitwell's call." He starts, his voice sounding like he's distancing himself from the story, "and he convinced Steve to go after you before I had gotten back. And when I got back… He had found something."

Peggy is quiet as she listens, and he seems hesitant to speak further, "such as?"

"A file."

"A file."

"On Steve."

She plays dumb, "I'm sure Shield has many files on Steve."

"This was Pierce's file on Steve."

Her eyes flick up from her desk and he's staring at her now. Her voice is thin, "and what, pray tell, was on this file?"

Sam's eyes close, "what's the opposite of someone's greatest hits."

"If that's a joke—"

"It's not." And Sam, a usually very calm and collected person looks at her a bit wildly and with his voice deep with anger, "Pierce collected the worst moments of Steve's life and shoved them together like a— a—" he can't seem to think of a word, "like a fucking museum of misery."

"And where is this file?"

"Tony wouldn't tell me how to access it. But now that you have Pierce's permissions wiped and you're the head of Shield. I'm sure you could manage."

"What is it that you saw?"

Sam's eyes get sad. "I don't know how much he was able to watch before I got back. Then he explained it to me when I got there and he was so upset, practically crying and so angry, and he kept asking me why, why would shield record this stuff." He looks at his hands, "but I told him it wasn't Shield, or it was, but through Pierce probably, and then a livestream popped through."

Her brow furrowed. "Livestream?"

Sam nods, his throat tight and his eyes on the ceiling, "live stream. But I don't think it was meant to have an audience. It was just being recorded and stored for later, but the alert went through to Pierce."

"You're not making any sense." She snaps.

His face is deadly serious as he looks at her. "You'll know."

—-

She waits until everyone is gone and the office is closed for the day. She tells Steve she'll be late and that she'll meet him at Natasha's when she's finished.

It takes the better part of her to sift through and find the file that Sam was talking about. It makes her head whirl how now that she's director, there's not a single file she can't access. It sort of makes her nervous. But she shoves that thought away and clicks on the file labeled, Rogers, Steven G. - Targeted Info.

It was deeply buried in Pierce's personal files.

It opens and she sees documents and paperwork. And then she sees a folder that says, surveillance

Her stomach is filled with dread as she clicks it.

Dozens of mp4 files appear and with trepidation she clicks on the first one.

It's Steve, looking younger as he sits at a table. His eyes are red and he's staring at his hands.

"So," a voice says from out of frame, "tell us what happened."

"I'd just gotten out of the pod," he says quietly, "then there was an explosion and I hear two shots ring out. And Erskine was dropping to the floor."

Peggy clicks next, her chest tight at the hurt in Steve's voice.

The next video is Steve and he's sitting on a hospital bed, arm bent at a horrific angle, blood everywhere. "There's no meds that will work." He's trying to tell a nurse who is frantic around him, "it's fine." Then he promptly passes out.

She clicks next.

Steve's on a security camera in a hospital hallway, and Coulson is being wheeled past, a huge weapon sticking out of his chest.

Next.

It's more videos of injuries or colleagues being hurt. There's a video of him covered in scratches and blackened skin that she knows is the mission with Fury. And as awful as they are, she wonders if these were the videos Sam was talking about.

Until she gets to the next one.

Footage from a train car appears. And disbelief fills her. She's seen part of this footage. This was the capture of Zola. And she remembers Dugan's story. This was the mission in which Barnes was lost. The camera footage switches to another car and she watches in absolute horror as Steve is reaching, stretching as far as possible only for Bucky to fall at the last moment.

Gabe is bursting in, hauling Steve back onto the car and she can't hear it, but she can practically feel the way Steve is sobbing, clutching at his chest, hands shoved into his gloves.

Even though Barnes is alive. Even though she knows it works out fine. She feels sick. That this moment was not only searched out but saved for whatever sick mental game Pierce was planning to play.

Pierce had mentioned that this was when his real game with Steve had begun. She clicks next, not because she wants to. Because she feels she has too.

A broken looking and flat faced Steve sits at a debriefing table and explains what happened on the train car.

Her heart aches for him.

She clicks next only to clutch at her chest as the image appears. It's a body camera, and by the voice that's talking, she can tell it's Dugan. He's walking through a dark space and a flashlight held in front of him. It's dark wherever they are and she squints trying to see. A very brittle and broken sounded Morita is heard next, "over here."

Dugan's running the footage blurry until a form appears, hunched over and unmoving against the backdrop of a huge window.

And Monty's voice cuts through the room, "the Captain."

There's muffled sound of sad agreement and Dugan's hand appears reaching forward towards the hunched over form she now realizes is Steve.

His skin is blue and his body is stiff. There's cuts and blood on his hands and face from where he must have slammed against the controls.

"Help me." Dugan says roughly, "we need to get him out of here."

The camera angle is jumpy but she watches, her hand over her mouth as Steve's dead form is removed from the pilot's chair and carried away.

The video ends and she takes three seconds to breathe before clicking next.

Then a security camera is next. She gasps. Of a morgue.

Steve is laying on the table, skin no longer blue, a sheet covers his bottom half and a doctor walks over in a coat, his voice coming through her speakers. "Recorder on. The autopsy of one, Steven Grant Rogers, aged 23, assumed cause of death, head trauma."

The doctor starts to cut at Steve's shoulder and then yanks his hand back as blood begins to flow.

The video ends.

There's dozens of videos of Steve killing. She watches each one with a grimace and an ache in her chest. Knowing he would hate every single one. Even though all of these people deserved it in her opinion. And he would hate knowing she'd seen it.

Then there's the videos of Steve getting tortured. Or shot. Or stabbed. Or poisoned.

It's like Pierce was playing cat and mouse. And Steve was always the mouse who had no idea he was already in a trap.

She can see what Pierce meant. He could never go too far. He could never make Steve mess up the mission or make it go completely south. But he could cause hell to Steve along the way. And he did.

The second to last throws her off, it's a room full of women in scantily clad clothing. It reminds her of the club in Spain, with the vanities and mirrors, but instead of gowns and fine jewelry, these women are in bikinis or other more creative outfits.

Two men appear and they point the gun at a beautiful woman with dark skin. "You thought you could trick us?"

The woman looks at them through the mirror, "what do you want PJ, I'm trying to work."

The man grabs her hair and growls at her, "we know you're a rat for Shield!" He turns to his partner, "go get that blonde guy, the one Pierce mentioned!"

And now Peggy knows what this is. Monica Rambeau looks up at the man, "what? What do you mean Pierce?" The man looks at her in surprise, realizing his mistake,

"Shut up!"

"You know Alexander Pierce!?" Her eyes get wide and she yanks at her hair, trying to stand and get away, she opens her mouth to yell but the guy slams the butt of his pistol against her forehead.

"I said, shut up!" He shouts. Yanking at her and hitting her again. She falls silent, holding her head as blood drips through her fingers.

"What's all this about?" A voice she recognizes says. Then Steve's there, dressed like a bartender and he sees Monica bleeding. His face grows wary and she sees him step towards, "Penny? What happened?"

"Stop your lies!" The man shouts, "your little act didn't work on us! We know you both work for Shield!"

Steve stays very calm, "I don't know what you're talkin' about fellas, we ain't no rats. So we just all needs to take a step back, huh? Let her go."

"Nah." The man says, "too late for that. We've got instructions." He raises the pistol and Peggy goes rigid as the blood splatters against the mirror.

Steve's looking on in horror. The gun turns on him but he doesn't even blink, still staring at Monica's slumped over form like he can't believe it. Two shots register, right into Steve's chest but he doesn't move. And then his head slowly rises, looking at the two men with such wrath they step back. He slowly bends over, picking up a stiletto heel, and then straightening, "shoot him again!" The other guy screams, but the leader doesn't get a chance, Steve barrels at them, knocking them both down and killing them quickly.

She expects the video to stop. But of course it doesn't. Steve straightens, blood on his hands that are shaking. He walks over to Monica and she watches as he scoops her up gently into his arms. His voice is shakey, "Monica?"

But she doesn't answer.

Even with Monica in his arms, he curls over, clutching her against him and he lets out a sound of anguish that makes Peggy sick. She grabs her trash can and heaves into it. Tears rolling down her cheeks and nausea at what she'd just watched.

She doesn't want to continue. She wants to stop. To erase everything she's seen from her brain.

BUt there's only one more video.

And she has a really horrible dreadful thought of what it might be.

Peggy wipes at her mouth and then takes a sip of water, clicking next.

Sitwell's face appears first, "Alright Pierce, I have it set to the motion sensored system, so it will only record when motion is happening, and then we'll have to erase other stuff like when a bird flies by or other people."

Then he moves out of the angle and it's a camera off to the side at an angle from a mound of dirt.

Her heart drops to her stomach as the video cuts, the motion sensor being set off again as she and Sitwell come into view. Her gown dragging behind her.

She fast forwards. She already knows what happens.

Then it cuts again, Steve racing into view. She gasps at the look of sheer and utter panic on his face as he stares at the fresh mound. Then suddenly he's on his knees tearing at the earth like a wild animal.

He's crying out, calling her name, and viciously tearing at the ground. Both her hands stay over her mouth as she watches, tears streaming down her face as well.

Then he's using his shield and growling as he moves faster, practically a blur on the camera. His body moves with an inhuman speed until he freezes, climbing out of the grave and gently hauling the coffin up on his own.

She sees herself appear as he gingerly holds her, so reminiscent of the gentle way he'd held Monica when he'd thought she was dead. She wipes at her eyes roughly and watches as Steve buries his face against her, the storm raging around them.

Then Barnes is there and the look on Steve's face when he turns, that feral and yet anguished empty look gets seared into her brain. A pistol pointed at his best. Friend and then dropped in a second, clutching at her again. She can clearly see how desperate and devastated he'd been in that moment. Barnes moves the stone so he can read it. Which means she can too.

And she chokes out a horrid sob at the words written in stone.

She pauses the video. Knowing where it goes from there.

And then she thinks of Anthony.

His young little eyes seeing Steve like this. Beaten and tortured and broken over and over again. Like Sam had said. The worst moments of his life, recorded and saved by a psychopath.

No wonder the kid didn't want him out of his sight.

She stands up, grabbing her keys and running. Neither does she.

—-

Steve hears the door slam open and the room goes quiet. Peggy appears in the doorway and he can tell she's been crying. He stands immediately, as does Bucky.

"Peggy? What is it? What happened?"

She strides forward, crashing into him and squeezing him so tightly that he huffs out a laugh, "rough first day?"

She just shakes her head and doesn't speak. He looks up to see Bucky, Natasha, and the kids all looking on in confusion. "Hey," he says softly, trying to lift her chin, "are you okay? What happened?"

"Who do I need to kill?" Natasha asks seriously.

"Yeah, you give us a name." Bucky adds.

Peggy's voice is quiet and brittle as she speaks. "You can't kill him. He's already dead."

Steve finally manages to get her to look up at him, "uh-oh, is this about Pierce? What else did you find?"

"Nothing I ever want to see again." She responds, tucking her head back down against his chest, "don't ask me."

Steve waves at the table to keep eating as he pulls Peggy along the hallway and out the apartment door, "Peggy, what is it?"

"Pierce died too easily. That's what."

Steve grimaces, "yikes, what did you find today that makes you say that? I thought we'd gotten everything out in the open." And then he realizes she's trembling. His eyes go wide and he pulls her tighter, "Peggy? Peggy what is it? What's wrong?"

"How did you stay so good?" She asks, her voice watery and muffled, "through all of it. The terror and horror and the dreadful things you've been through, how have you managed to stay this good?" She looks up at him and there are tears streaming down her face, "how can you even want to fight for humanity after everything you've seen and that's been done to you?"

Steve blinks, mind reeling at her questions. But he takes the time to think for a moment before responding.

His voice is soft as he responds.

"You're forgetting that humanity is you." He juts his head towards the apartment door. "It's Bucky, and Nat, and the kids. It's Howard and my team and so many others. That lady who was nice to you in Alabama, and the nice guy in our surfing class. Humanity is the way Mrs. Jarvis would drop everything to help Tony. Or how Scott dropped everything to help those girls. I don't fight because humanity is bad. I fight because I know it's good. And because I want to help make it better." He leans down and presses his lips to her cheek, and then her forehead. He rests his nose against hers and breathes her in. "I believe in people. I believe in you as a leader. If that's what you're worried about…" He leaves it as a question, trying to understand what has her so upset.

"I want to go to New York this weekend." She says softly, "to visit the Starks. Is that alright?"

The non sequitur throws him off, but he just shrugs, "that's fine by me. You want to bring the kids?"

"Not this time." Peggy says, leaning her head against his chest and listening to his heart.

—-

They park the car and Steve goes to the back of the car to grab their bags from the trunk. The front door opens and Anthony appears.

He stops on the top step and looks at them both.

And Peggy can't help it. She bursts into tears at the sight of the little kid. Knowing what he'd seen and how he'd reacted. He bounds down the steps and stops in front of her as Steve comes around, suitcases in his hands and looks worried, "what?" He asks, "what happened?"

But Anthony just tugs her down to his level and wraps his little arms around her neck. She grasps him, lifting him up and setting him on her hip, clutching her arms around him. He's really too big to be held, but she doesn't care. Then she snags Steve and drags him into the hug. She can feel the confusion radiating off him, but he doesn't hesitate to join in.

—-

They have an enjoyable visit, Maria and Howard are too kind as always and they talk and eat and sightsee during their short little trip.

As they walk along the little village street in upstate New York, eating ice cream, Tony is always holding one of their hands. And once he finishes his ice cream cone, he holds both, walking between them as Maria talks about the history of the little town.

She can feel Steve's eye son her. He's asked her in private a few times what's going on. But she hasn't been able to bring herself to tell.

She'd locked the file away. Creating her own new set of permissions and burying it so deeply that no one would even know to look for it. And the two who do, would never.

Peggy had almost deleted the whole file. Everything. But it wasn't her choice. And she knows that.

And she hates that.

But she hasn't told him.

Not yet.

—

Even though it's been three months since he's come back from the dead. They haven't really had a ton of alone time together. With his healing, her new job, Shield clean up, the move to DC, the kids, and all the friends and family, they've sort of been occupied.

So, on a random Thursday night, Steve drops the kids off at Bucky's and he picks Peggy up from her apartment. She's dressed in a cozy sweater and her hair is pinned up and she looks magnificent as they walk down the street towards the little restaurant he made a reservation at.

Her security detail is casually walking behind them. A job Barton takes seriously while also knowing that Steve is perfectly capable of defending her and that she is even more so perfectly capable of defending herself.

As the meal ends, Steve gives a signal to Clint that Peggy doesn't see and he casually walks her in a different direction from their car. She raises an eyebrow at him but says nothing. Then he sneaks her down a side alley and across another street before leading her to a neighborhood and stopping in front of a house.

She looks at it and then back at him. "Am I supposed to know where we are?"

Steve feels the smile that he can't contain. "We're home."

Peggy blinks at him, "excuse me?"

He laughs, gesturing to the beautiful brownstone townhome. "I bought this place. It's ours. I know we talked about living in an apartment for awhile, even got you set up in one that works. I know that was the plan but—" he looks at the door, "then I was running, and I ran by this place, and it had a for sale sign." Peggy's eyes are widening, "so, while the kids were at school and you were at work I set up an appointment to see it." He's talking faster now, the words rushing out, "it has the things you mentioned, all the things I remember you mentioning in Alabama or the little quirks about our apartment in Sokovia." He points to the house. "There's a bedroom for us with an en suite bath, one for Wanda and another for Pietro and a guest room. There's a guest bathroom on the main floor so people don't have to walk through our house to get to the bathroom. The laundry room is upstairs and there's a sink in it. There's a carport, not a garage and I remember you liked the window behind the sink. It has that." He's smiling again, "and it's not a longer commute for you, it's shorter to the school for Wanda and Pietro. And it's only 3 minutes further away from Bucky and Nat." They've already talked about the future like it's so sure, but Steve has always wanted to propose officially, so he drops to one knee and pulls out the little box from his coat pocket, opening it, "I wanna be your partner forever. I want to watch Wanda and Pietro grow up with you. I want to be there when we each get our first gray hair, and I know my life and body is not normal, but it's yours. In every way I want it to be yours. I've never met a woman as amazing and smart and kick ass as you. And when I thought I lost you—" Peggy goes rigid, her eyes trained to his face, "I can't explain what that was like, and I never want to feel that again. So, Peggy—" he looks down at the ring nestled in the little box. One he'd bought in Hawaii on the main strip before they'd left for the mainland. "Will you marry—"

"There's video." Peggy's voice cuts through the night.

He pauses, looking up at her. Her eyes are closed and her face is pinched and her heart is beating too fast, "what?"

She opens her eyes and there's already tears forming, "Pierce. He either stole the footage or purposefully had things recorded. All the worst moments of your career. He put it in a file. Presumably to torture you with it later." Her words are clipped.

Steve's still on one knee. "What?"

"That's why Anthony refused to leave your side." Now it's her turn to be talking too fast, words tumbling from her mouth. But he had been excited, she's in anguish, "Anthony watched it while you were coming to get me out of the grave. Missions you get hurt. Missions where someone else gets hurt. Coulson, Fury, Erskine." Her voice goes raw. "Barnes' fall is on there—" Steve's heart starts pounding, blood rushing in his ears, "Monica's death is on there—" his chest cracks, and he leans back, weight resting on his heel. "And—" she's pulling her hand away from him and shoving her face into them, "the graveyard. He recorded my being buried and you digging me out."

He feels—

He can't think. Can't breathe. What does he feel?

Anger.

Rage.

Disbelief.

What?

Pierce did what?

"I didn't tell you." She rasps out, "couldn't figure out how to tell you." She's crying into her hands again, "I wanted to delete it. I never wanted you to see! But I couldn't delete it." She sobs, "I couldn't. I hated it. I watched it, and I hated it." Her breathing is shallow and watery, "But I was a coward. I kept not telling you. I couldn't bear for you to know. It's so awful."

"All the crying." He whispers out, "the visit to Howard,"

She nods, "it was that day, when I came home. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I should have told you right away."

"Tony saw all that?"

"I should have told you! He didn't even want you to know it existed! He made me promise I wouldn't show you."

She shoves her face into the crook of her arm and he stands, wrapping her up in his arms. His mind still reeling. "Hey," he says, his voice hoarse, "hey, it's okay, I'm not mad."

She looks up at him, makeup running down her face, "what? How can you not be furious at me?"

He rests his heel on her hair, holding her tightly, "I'm just sorry you both had to watch all that." At this she sobs again and he holds her tighter, never having seen her cry this much. "Why didn't you delete it?"

"I didn't feel like it was my place."

"You're director of Shield—"

"And it's your life." She states back, wiping at her eyes, "as horrid as it is, I wanted you to have the option. There's other things in that file other than just the videos."

"Like what?"

She wrinkles her nose, "documents on your life, missions with Shield and the army. All your medical files from before and from after." Then she sighs, "The list of poisons Pierce has tried on you."

He huffs and tips his head back to the sky. He can feel the moonlight illuminating them, "geez." He takes a deep breath, "is it buried?"

She nods, "behind a thousand layers of encryption and my own permissions."

Steve's head bobs up and down, "okay, that's good. Just leave it there. I don't feel any need to watch it. For now."

She seems to sag in relief at that and she wraps her arms tightly around him.

He gets nervous, "Peggy?"

She looks up at him, "Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

She smiles, her eyes reflecting the moon and she laughs, "yes!" He kisses her, more intimate and more passionate and more free than they've ever kissed. Now free of aliases, obligations, knock-out lipsticks, or threats of potential harm, he feels his body fully relax, holding her tightly and kissing her like his world depends on it.

And it kinda does.

—

Peggy heart rate increases, the way he holds her, kisses her, the way his lips trail her jaw and his hands twine in her hair. She feels the way her pulse heats up, warming her in the chilly night.

He pulls back, making her frown. "What?"

"Your hea—" and he stops, eyes widening in realization, as if just now, after everything the real reason for her heart rate increase has just struck him. He rests a hand over her heart, feeling its steady thrum. "All this time?"

She laughs, the sound ringing through the empty street. "You pointed it out so many times, I was sure you knew."

"Wait, wait, wait," he says, face still stuck in disbelief, "what! But this happened back—"

"In the beginning?" She offers, with a raise of her eyebrow, "you never realized, but it was always caused by you."

His eyes get soft and he presses his forehead against hers, "I can't believe it."

"Believe it." She whispers, "I've loved you in some way ever since Greece. All those years ago when I met a quiet steady man who seemed sad. And I wanted to get to know him. I've loved you since I fought with you in that ring, and sat with you in that club. When we played house in Sokovia and Alabama and you ripped my dress in Argentina." She watches as his eyes get wider but somehow still soft, still so in love, "when I saw you surfing out in the moonlight and when I made you laugh with your tattoos, and when I wrestled you on the beach. Every moment I've come to know you, I've come to love you."

And then he's kissing her again and she's fine with that.

—

Steve's right, it's the perfect house. And she finds that she can't wait to move into it.

—

Their vows make everyone cry, and the reception lasts well into the night.

Anthony and Bucky share the title of Best Man, while Natasha is Peggy's Maid of Honor. Yelena, Pietro, and Wanda all stand proudly to fill out the rest of their wedding party and the commandos hoot and holler as they head off in their getaway car.

—-

She's not allowed to see the itinerary, and Steve covers her eyes as they walk off Howard's private jet. He keeps her eyes covered, although she can tell just by the air it's somewhere humid.

Steve carries her through a door, her eyes still covered, and then he leads her out on to what must be a balcony or patio of some sort. She feels hands gently remove her blindfold and she blinks as the moonlight settles into place. She gasps, staring at the beautiful white buildings and blue tiled roofs and the ocean that spreads out below.

"Is this—?"

"The place where we first met?" He says with a grin, "It felt poetic." He looks at her seriously, "are you happy?"

She tugs him down and kisses him to make sure he knows just what she thinks of his choice.

—-

She finds that they're infinitely compatible in many ways, and quick learners in others. As she lays on the bed, wrapped in his arms, head over his chest and listening to him breath softly as he sleeps, that she can't remember ever feeling more loved, more safe, or more happy.

—

Steve hands her a box, "Merry Christmas."

She eyes him, narrowing her eyes as they'd already exchanged gifts this morning with the kids. "What's this?"

He laughs, "the point of a present is to open it and find out."

Her fingers tear at the paper and reveal a leather bound book.

The soft dark leather small golden lettering embossed in it at the bottom right hand of the cover.

My Muse

With trepidation she flips open the cover, and she inhales sharply. A perfect replication of the drawing. The one Pierce had stolen. There she sits, admiring the view from the rooftop. She purses her lips, emotion overtaking her.

"There's more." He prompts.

She flips the page to see a picture of her racing alongside him on a motorcycle. The one after that is her naked in the chair during Strip poker, the smoke from the fire cleverly covering her. She laughs in disbelief and flips to the next. Her in the gown at the club. But not the red gown she'd been buried in, the light blue and pearly white one. His ability to draw the details even of the jewelry around her ankles astounds her.

She swallows thickly as she flips it over, seeing her folding laundry at their tiny dinner table in Sokovia. She can just see the kids' heads over the back of the couch in the background. Then her in her boxing outfit, and Steve makes his first appearance, he's there as she sits on his shoulders, and they share that intense gaze.

Then its her practically naked on the porch in Alabama and she blushes even though he's seen ugh more of her now. Her in her dress for the party in Argentina. Her surfing in Hawaii and then the last one makes her breath hitch.

It's her, snuggled on the couch. Wanda asleep against her and Pietro's head in her lap. Her hand rests on his silvery hair and her other arm holds Wanda close.

"Oh." She breathes out, "when was this?"

"The night of thanksgiving." He says softly, his voice wavers as he swallows and looks at her, "it was so precious I just couldn't help myself."

She hugs the book to her chest, "that's not fair." She pouts, "I can't ever give you a gift better than this."

Steve tilts his head and catches her cheek in his palm, "what are you talking about? You are my gift. I couldn't have drawn this without having known you."

She's about to lean forward and kiss him when Pietro appears in the doorway, "mom, dad!" He says quickly out of breath, "can we watch a movie tonight when we get home from Uncle Bucky's?"

Peggy watches Steve hold back the way he wants to positively burst at being called dad (a new occurrence as of a month ago). "I don't see why not, what would you want to watch?"

"I have a suggestion." Peggy says quickly, then she looks at Steve, "What about Home Alone 2?"

His jaw tightens in emotion and she can see the way his eyes start to shine, she turns to Pietro, "have you and Wanda ever seen that one?"

He shakes his head, "I don't think so. Is it good?"

The way Steve is looking at her makes her want to melt, "it's the best. Tell Wanda to get her jacket, we will head out soon, okay?"

"Okay!" He's gone and Steve is still looking at her.

"I know she can't be here in person—"

Soft lips cut her off and she forgets what she was going to say. He seems to understand anyways.

—

They end up staying later at Barnes' then they plan, and Pietro looks at Steve and he looks worried,"is it too late to watch a movie when we get home?"

"Movie?" Barnes asks, "you were going to leave and go have more fun without us?"

Natasha shoves his shoulder and he laughs.

"We were going to watch Home Alone 2." Steve says with a smile, "you wanna join?"

Barnes' face lights up and he's nodding, "oh what? Yes! It's been years since I've been able to watch that! I have it on that streaming service, want to watch it here?"

Peggy smiles as she cuts in, "no. I want Pietro and Wanda to watch it for the first time at home."

Barnes pauses and then he nods, "I get that, okay let us get out coats." He disappears and Natasha stretches, standing and grabbing the empty cups and heading towards the kitchen leaving them in a moment of quiet.

Peggy grabs Steve's hand, ready to go gather their kids, "let's go home."

The way he looks at her everytime she says that makes her pulse race. He laughs, hearing her heartbeat elevate and then he kisses her softly. "Yeah, let's go home."

—

*A/N - I literally can't believe this is over. This was probably one of the biggest plot undertakings I've done. And I think, I THINK I got everything squared away and tied up nice with a bow.

I can't explain how grateful I am to all of you who read, commented, and stuck with me through this whole adventure! I would love to hear your thoughts if you have time, and again THANK YOU!

Love,
Cap